Captured Heart
by Maeluiril
Summary: Haldir and his brothers find a child in the woods.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Captured Heart  
  


Author: Maeluiril  
  


Summary: Haldir and his brothers find a child in their woods.  
  


Rating: R (for violence)  
  


Feedback: Appreciated  
  


Characters: OFC, Haldir, Rúmil, Orophin, (others eventually)  
  


Warnings: Mentions of child abuse and other violence against children. Nothing graphic, it is more implied than anything. I do not condone it, but as you will see when you read, it would be a valid background from my character to come from.   
  


Disclaimer: All recognized characters belong to Tolkien. Without that genius Mr. Jackson would never have made the wonderful piece of cinematic greatness that is the LOTR movie trilogy. My work is not meant to infringe on any copyrights or other legal concepts I have no clue about. My only desire was to entertain and add my own humble bit of work to such a wide and prolific fandom.  
  


A/N: This is not a Mary Sue in the fact that there will be no marriage between the child and any elves. The character does not have any powers whatsoever. I simply want to explore the reasoning as to why Haldir might have fought with men in the two towers. This is one explanation. That said this follows movie cannon though dates not mentioned in the movie come from the book. Specifically I used the Encyclopedia of Arda to make my timeline and to research spellings and other information. It can be found here: http:// www. glyphweb. com/ arda/ (take the spaces out)

Sindarin "Common" 'Thoughts'

ARTWORK!!: I've made a banner for this story! You can find it in my profile and there is a link there to a larger version of it. Or you can just go here: www. geocities. com/ maeluiril/ chbanner. html (remember to take the spaces out!) 

Please read the warnings as this story will deal with delicate topics I mentioned there!

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CHAPTER 1: The Disturbance

Haldir relaxed as a breeze blew by and ruffled his hair. He was on watch, though no signs of disturbance had been seen for weeks. The night was quiet and peaceful. Everything he loved about being on the boarders. Closing his eyes he concentrated on the sound of the water rippling over the rocks in the nearby stream. A twig snapping caused him to tense and once again scan the area. He was prompted into action when another foreign sound reached his ears. 

Soundlessly he moved in the branches closer to the sounds origins. It was bringing him closer to the stream. He stilled when he reached a spot overlooking the water and pulled his bow. As his eyes moved over the rocks and reeds, his bow moved with him ready to fire a shot at any threat. His lips pulled even more into a frown when he saw nothing. Releasing the tension on his bow slightly he scanned the area one last time. 

If he had not been so alert he might have missed the small figure once again. Deep in the shadows there was movement. Even with his elvin sight the only reason he saw it was the light from the full moon. The figure moved again and he immediately pulled his bow back assessing the threat. He paused when he saw that it was a young human girl. No more than eight or nine summers it looked like. It surprised him that she had gotten so far into the boarders. Any group of men should have been easily spotted. 

He watched as the child leaned over the water and drank. Once he decided that there were no other of her company around he put his bow back on his back. Not taking his eyes off the girl he made the bird call for others to join him and waited. The girl's head rose sharply when he made the noise but she did not look to him. It seemed he had frightened her as she quickly finished what she was doing and turned back into the woods. 

Haldir waited for the others on watch in his patrol group before following the girl. They easily caught up to her and followed her through the trees. She never once stopped or looked to them though they were almost directly above her the entire time. When she stopped at a tree they spread out surrounding her and waited for Haldir to decide how to handle the situation. He motioned his brothers to him and pulled back letting the others keep an eye on the child. 

The child can not be out this far without adults around. We should wait until she reaches them, said Orophin.

Why is she out here though? Maybe she has separated from her party and is lost. We should at least make sure she is safe, argued Rúmil. Haldir considered both options while his brothers argued amongst themselves. His mind was made up when one of the sentries he had left came running towards them.

Sir, the child is not alone. There is another down there among the shadows and hurt from the sounds that it is making. The elf's voice was tinged with concern and Haldir frowned more at the new complication.

Rúmil, Orophin and I will go introduce ourselves and assess the situation. The rest will form scouting parties and go to the nearest boarders and see if there are any humans here. The sentry nodded and left. Haldir and his brothers approached the camp quietly. The remaining guard he had posted withdrew and left to scout the woods with the other elves. From the trees Haldir could see the girl sitting close to the base of the tree. Then he heard a moan. The girl instantly moved over the shadows, he could just pick up what she was saying.

"Shhhh, it's gonna be okay Alar. I got us some water." The blankets shifted and he could just make out a face. It was another child that looked to be younger than her. The girl held up a small water container to his lips. "There you go. See it's good isn't it."

"W. Where did you get it?" asked the child. 

"That's not important Alar, you getting better is all that matters." She held the container to his mouth again but he wouldn't drink anymore. "Come on, just one more sip and that will be all." He opened his mouth and took a little bit more.

"My tummy hurts Zia." Came his small voice.

"I know Alar, but. . but it won't forever. You'll get better and then we can do whatever we want. . we're free Alar. Never again will we call someone master." She smiled slightly trying to comfort him.

"Free." He repeated and smiled too.

"As a bird." There was a pause as the child relaxed back into the blankets.

"Tell me a story." 

"Okay, what one do you want to hear?" She sat down next to him and held his hand.

"One with elves." Was the quick response. 

"You always want to hear one with elves in it. There are other races on middle earth." The girl laughed causing the boy to smile.

"Elves are the best."

"Okay Alar.. how about the tale of Seran, an elf of the most noble quality. It is not well known but before men ruled Gondor, it was a city full of elves. All were quite beautiful as elves are doing their elfin things. Seran was the king of this great city. He ruled all that he could see and then some. His kingdom was happy and full of food."

"Did he have slaves?" 

"No.. his kingdom did not allow slavery. If a master was found. . he was cut down before another command could leave his lips!" The girl moved her arm down like a sword and the child laughed.

"Seran was a kind and gentle king.. but his heart was lonely. He had lived in Gondor all his life. And he was very old. . for elves are immortal as you know." At the boy's nod she continued.

"Well one day Seran decided that he would go for a ride. He left the gates of his kingdom and rode into the nearby woods. He rode for hours and hours and loved the wood so much that he decided to stay the night. The woods looked much like this, in fact many would say that these were the woods Seran slept in." 

"Are these the woods?" 

"I do not know.. but they look very much like the woods if they are not." The girl paused before continuing. "Well, the elfin king had been to these woods many times and called many among the trees friends. But he didn't know that this trip would be unlike any of the others that he had taken into the beautiful woods."

"How?"

"I'm getting there silly." she paused a moment before continuing with her story. "For it was on this trip that he would find what his heart had been missing since he had started ruling in his fathers place. It was on his second night in the woods that he heard a noise. It disturbed him greatly because he was enjoying his time in the woods alone and didn't want to be bothered. So he followed the noise to see what was wrong."

"The noise led him to a small clearing where he saw something that angered him more than he had ever been angered in all his long life. There in the clearing was a great beast. This beast was one that he had seen on occasion but not very much. It was a great smelly orc." The little boy jumped when she said the word but laughed right after.

"Now this orc wasn't alone. It had captured two small humans, and was being mean to them, growling and yelling. Now the king angered beyond belief, pulled his bow from his back and aimed an arrow at the nasty monster. When the orc was about to hit the little boy it held in his grasp, Seran let the arrow fly. Now the king was not only king, but also the best warrior in all of his land. He practiced everyday and no one could beat him. His mark was true and the monster fell to the ground dead."

"Good." The girl smiled at her brothers statement. 

"The king ran to the clearing and freed the two humans. He saw that they were small children the oldest a girl while the youngest a boy. Their names were Zia and Alar."

"Those are our names!" exclaimed the boy merrily.

"Yes they are, a very strange likeness," agreed the girl. "The children were so thankful that they had been rescued that they hugged the king. The king decided to take the children to his kingdom and make them his children. Zia and Alar became the prince and princess of Gondor and stayed with Seran as their father. Seran's heart was no longer lonely and Zia and Alar lived happily for all their lives. The end." 

"That was a good story, were we named after the kids in the story Zia?" 

"No Alar, they just happened to have our names." The girl pulled the blanket higher on his shoulders. "Now you must rest." Her tone leaving no room for argument. 

"Okay, goodnight Zia." 

"Goodnight Alar." She brushed some hair off of his face and moved closer to him. She sat down next to him and pulled her knees up closer to her chin and shivered as a breeze blew by. A few seconds later the sounds of Alar's snoring drifted to her ears. 

Zia stiffened alarmed for some reason. She couldn't hear anything but there was something wrong about the area around her. She slowly stood up and scanned the woods looking for something wrong. Suddenly she saw a flash of silver billowing in the breeze. She quickly looked around for a weapon and grabbed a big stick and held it like she had seen the soldiers hold their swords. When she looked up there were three figures standing in front of her. Each with hair of silver and very tall. Fear wound its way up her heart but she stood her ground in front of Alar. She wouldn't let him be taken again.


	2. The Meeting

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

CHAPTER 2: The Meeting

The girl seemed to sense something was wrong and was standing. She looked out at the woods alarmed. Haldir watched as her eyes grew bigger when she was looking in their direction. He saw her pick up a small stick lying on the ground and she held it out like a weapon. There was fear in her eyes but also a determination. Haldir, flanked by his brothers entered the clearing.

"Go away," she said hotly. She moved the stick a little as to threaten them. Haldir was taken aback by her statement.

"You have trespassed in our woods and you demand us to leave." He looked down at the girl. She actually blushed and looked ashamed. He also saw that she was absolutely filthy. There was dirt all over her, and some scratches and bruises on her arms, face and legs that were not covered by her grimy ripped dress.

"I didn't mean to." She never lowered the stick she was using as a weapon. "We will leave in the morning." Haldir raised an eyebrow at her.

"Where is the rest of your group?" The child looked at him confused.

"What group?" 

"Surely someone as young as you would be here with an adult." The girl's eyes hardened. 

"We are free!" The girl's tone was angry and he frowned. He had heard her say that to the other one earlier. 

"You children are out here all by yourself? Where do you come from." 

"No where we are going back to." She looked at him critically for a moment. "Who are you?" 

"I am Haldir of Lothlórien and march warden of these woods. These are my brothers Rúmil and Orophin." He answered. "Now that you have our names, I would request yours." 

"My name is Zinnia, and he's my brother Alar." Just then Alar moaned loudly.

"Your brother is hurt. Let us help." Zinnia looked at the three of them for a second then back to the figure in the blankets. It was a moment before she nodded and put the stick down. They walked over to Alar and Zinnia kneeled by his head. Rúmil kneeled next to the boy and gently pulled the blanket off. It revealed a smaller male child just as dirty as the girl. Rúmil went to lift off the boys shirt when Zia shrieked and he stopped.

"What is he doing! I thought you said you were going to help." Haldir looked at her surprised. He was standing closest to her next to Rúmil. 

"My brother has to remove his shirt to look for wounds." Her anger confused him. She had agreed to let them help, he did not understand her reaction. At the noise Alar woke up.

"Zinnia!" he screamed seeing the strangers before his sister.

"I'm right here Alar." Zia leaned into his eyesight to calm him. "They are going to help. But they have to take off your shirt to see where the pain is," she said as she shot an untrusting glare at Rúmil.

"They're elves!" Rumil grinned at the excited tone of the boy's voice. "I always wanted to see an elf." Rúmil slowly reached for the boy's shirt. When the boy didn't protest the girl remained quiet. Although he noted that she watched his movements like a hawk. 

Rúmil inhaled in surprise when he saw the large dark purple almost black bruise that flowed across the child's midsection. Orophin and Haldir both looked when they heard their brother's surprise. Both frowned when they saw the child's injury.

The elf looking at her brother made a sound when he saw her brother's bare chest. Zinnia frowned at that, it just confirmed her suspicions that the wound was serious. The one kneeling over her brother looked at her then said something. He was speaking in his language and she had no clue what he said. 

"He asked what happened." She looked to the one called Haldir.

"Master had to punish me because I was bad." The boy frowned answering before Zinnia could.

"No, you were not. It wasn't your fault." Zinnia started petting the boy's head. Haldir looked at Orophin and saw his brothers frown. He had repeated what the little boy said. The little boy smiled and patted the girl's cheek.

"But we're free now mister elf! Free, can you believe it?" He looked up Rúmil. "Are your ears real?" 

"Yes they are," said Haldir kneeling by the child's face. He smiled slightly at the boy. 

"You're hair is really shinny. Like the moon. Can I touch it?" The little boy reached up and grabbed some of Haldir's hair before he could react. "It's really silky too." He said letting go. Haldir heard laughter and looked at his brother. Both were chuckling slightly. Then Rúmil's expression turned grave. He withdrew his hands and looked at Haldir. He said something and the other's faces grew serious as well. Haldir nodded his understanding and looked back down at the smiling boy. Then at the girl. 

She was staring at him her eyes wide and full of unshed tears. She may not understand exactly what was said but she knew the meaning. Her brother would not last the night. She looked back down at the boy. Haldir could feel pain radiating off of her like heat from a flame. She caressed the boy's cheek.

"Don't cry sister! We're free!" said the boy happily though he started coughing. Tears started flowing down her face. Haldir stood and motioned for his brothers to give them some peace. "Are the elves leaving? I don't want them to leave. Are we going to live with them like in the story Zia?" 

"Maybe, but right now you have to rest. You have to get better Alar. You can't leave okay. You can't leave." She lowered her face to the boys shoulder crying. He wrapped his arm around her neck. 

"It's okay Zia. We're free. I even got to meet an elf! Don't be sad." He started coughing again. "My tummy isn't hurting as much any more." Zia only started to cry harder. "Please don't cry," he said sadly wiping tears off of Zia's cheek.

"Okay. No more crying." Zinnia sat up and wiped her tears away.

"That's better." Alar smiled and looked up to the stars. "The sky is always so pretty. I wish I could go touch a star." He coughed again. 

"Maybe you will get your wish," said Zia holding his hand tightly. The little boy looked to her. 

"But who would be here with you then?" The girl opened her mouth to answer but shut it quickly not having one. She felt a hand on her shoulder and some one kneeling down next to her.

"I will watch over her." The little boy smiled widely at Haldir.

"An Elf!" he said happily. "I always wanted to meet an elf. We're free you know. Free free free." The boy started coughing causing him to be unable to speak.

"Quite Alar, you need to rest. Close your eyes and sleep," said Zia softly. He looked to Haldir.

"Zia said that elves have the prettiest songs in all of middle earth. Can I hear a song mister elf?" Haldir smiled and nodded. He started singing and the boy smiled. His brothers joined in. 

Zinnia couldn't understand what the lyrics were, but the song was beautiful and sad. She closed her eyes and held her brother's hand a little tighter. She felt him squeeze back then after a while slowly let go. Tears slipped down her face, but she wouldn't open her eyes. In her mind she knew that her brother lay dead next to her, but her heart told her that if she didn't look it wouldn't be true. The elves stopped their singing and she felt the elf next to her shift. They were quiet for a while, then another whose voice she hadn't heard before spoke. She still refused to open her eyes.

"Zinnia." It was Haldir's voice. She didn't move still clutching her brother's hand. He tried to get her attention but again she didn't move. He reached under her chin and pulled her face to his. Her eyes finally opened and Haldir could feel his heart constricting at the pain and confusion he saw in her eyes. 

"Zinnia we have to go." She looked at him for a minute then shook her head.

"I'm staying with Alar." Haldir shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know how to deal with this.

"Alar is no longer with us Zinnia." He kept his explanation simple hoping she would understand. Zinnia just sat there holding her brother's hand numbly. "We will give him a proper burial," said Haldir trying to gently remove Alar's hand from hers. The girl seemed to shut down. When he finally separated them he nodded and his brothers came over and sat down a blanket. 

They picked up Alar and sat him in it then proceeded to wrap him up. He was quickly buried and they sang another song of lament. Haldir was concerned at the girl's reaction. Or rather her non-reaction. She hadn't moved once or said anything since they had buried her brother. He went over to her and kneeled in front of her. Her gaze was fixed but her eyes vacant. 

"Zinnia we are leaving now." She didn't respond at all. He looked over to Rúmil. She is not responding. 

I do not have the skills to help her brother. Perhaps Lady Galadriel would. Haldir nodded and looked back to Zinnia. She still hadn't moved a muscle. 

He placed his hand on her shoulder and frowned when he felt the shivers that were going through her body. He wordlessly took off his cloak and wrapped it around the child in front of him. There was still no reaction. Sighing he stood then lifted the child in his arms. After making sure she was comfortable and that his cloak wouldn't trip him, he started to walk after his brothers. 

A/N: I just wanted to give a big thanks to all of my reviewers out there. 


	3. Fright

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post this part. Real life can be a big pooper sometimes. I will do my best to update sooner from now on. Hope you guys enjoy this one. And again thank you for all of you great feedback.

CHAPTER 3: Fright

It looked as though the poor child had been thrown from a telain, said Rúmil angrily kneeling down to check on Zinnia. They had laid blankets out for her as a bed. From the looks of her, they had been out here a while. I wonder where they come from? 

I do not know brother, but perhaps if the little one opens up we will know. Orophin smiled down at the child. They had reached the telain a while ago. Zinnia had fallen asleep on Haldir during their journey.

She is heartbroken. I do not think that she will be saying much to us. Rúmil tucked a blanket around her and sat back. Haldir was busy pulling out another blanket for himself. 

It is a shame for one so young to die. Orophin frowned at his own statement. It is good that she is not an elf, for she surly would waste away from grief. He touched his chest over his heart.

We will take her to the Lady and see what is to be done with her, said Haldir curtly. Now be quiet and don't wake her. She needs her rest. He laid down a few feet away from the child. He missed the smile that Orophin and Rúmil gave to each other before they laid down on the other side of the talan.

Haldir laid back and tried to get comfortable. His senses were all trained on the girl. Her breathing was even and deep indicating sleep. As he willed him self to relax he mentally sang a lament for the young life that had slipped away in his borders only hours earlier. 

A few hours later Haldir was broken out of his rest by a soft keening noise. He woke up fully and looked around. The noise was coming from the child huddled in the blankets a few feet from him. Her breathing had become erratic and she had shifted in her sleep. He looked at her but her eyes were still closed indicating sleep, although she twitched and then moaned as if in pain. Haldir was at her side in a moment. He went to reach for her shoulder when her eyes snapped open. They were wide with fear. She jumped and scurried back from him her back hitting a tree hard enough to elicit a small grunt. Haldir stilled seeing her fear.

"Zinnia, do you remember where you are?" He tried to keep his voice as calm and soft as possible. She looked at him for a few more seconds and he saw recognition pour back into her eyes. Then the memories of earlier. Her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry softly. He went to reach for her shoulder but she pressed even further into the tree behind her and whimpered. She looked like a cornered animal and he slowly withdrew his hand.

"I'm not going to hurt you child." She only looked at him with tear filled unbelieving eyes. He saw her shiver and frowned. He reached for the blanket and held it out to her. She tensed and pulled away. "At least cover yourself." She looked at him then at the hand that held the blanket. Once he realized that she would not take it from him, he put it closer to her then backed away. Slowly her arm reached out and her hand curled around the blanket. Then she quickly grabbed it and wrapped it around herself, not taking her eyes off of him the entire time.

"See that's better is it not?" He smiled slightly wanting to relax the frightened girl in front of him. The girl kept her large eyes on him and didn't move. She sniffed slightly and rubbed her nose leaving a dirt smear behind. "Are you thirsty?" he asked taking advantage of the fact that the girl was now responsive. She didn't answer but she was watching him so intently it unnerved him. 'I have faced orcs without fear and one human child is enough to unnerve me.' He thought ruefully. He grabbed a water skin but she looked at it with confusion on her face. 

"It's water." He opened the lid and took a small drink from it. Then slowly placed it in front of her then backed away. Again she slowly reached out but snatched it to her when she had it in her hands. She opened it and took a drink, some of it spilling down her mouth. Her eyes never left him. She then slowly put it back to where it was before she huddled back to the tree. He smiled at her. "Good. How about some food?" He could hear her stomach growl from where he was sitting and laughed slightly. 

"You may not be talking but your stomach is." He laid a piece of way bread on the water bag. She quickly grabbed both and ate the bread then took another drink of water. "Would you like more?" Again she didn't respond but he put more out and she took it when he was backed away from her. He was about to offer more when his brother spoke softly from the other side of the talan.

Be careful brother. Her stomach my rebel against too much food after not having much for so long. Rúmil sat up slowly trying to ease the tension that surrounded the girl. Zinnia huddled back up against the tree splitting her focus between Haldir and Rúmil. Her eyes again noticeably filled with fear once again. Haldir nodded his understanding at Rúmil and put the food away. 

"He will not hurt you either. He is Rúmil. Do you remember?" Haldir pointed to Rúmil. "And the one sleeping is Orophin." He left out that they were brothers hoping to not remind her of her recent loss. Her eyes went to Rúmil and Orophin but snapped back to Haldir when he moved. Haldir sighed at her obvious mistrust. All of the humans he had met, especially human children seemed to hold elves in awe. "Perhaps you should go back to sleep little one. We have a long journey ahead of us." Her eyes went to Rúmil when he moved to lay back down, then back to Haldir. A few moments passed by and she did not relax; only kept staring at him. 

"It is very taxing on ones nerves to be the sole center of such intense contemplation." She only blinked at him and kept staring. "You need to sleep." She didn't move. He sat against the tree across from her and looked up at the stars. They were very bright tonight. He looked back over at his charge and saw that she was also looking up at the stars, but with a look of pain across her features. Her tears had started to flow again. Quietly he started to sing the lament that was in his heart. After the last verse he looked back to the child to find her asleep.


	4. Slave

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: I just have to give a big thank you to all of my reviewers. This is the first story that I have written and I am happy to see that it is so well received. I will try to update as much as possible, for I know how addictive stories can be! Here is another chapter. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 4: Slave

The next morning the three brothers were discussing their new charge. She is so small. Rúmil looked at her face poking out from under the blankets. I doubt she has eaten very much recently, or ever. 

She is also absolutely filthy. Orophin wrinkled his nose at her. I wonder how long they were out here by themselves. 

Yes, she is dirty. We will reach the stream in two more days. I will make sure she has a bath, said Haldir looking at her. 

Her clothes look as if she comes from a Rohan village. Though the closest one is over a week away. Rúmil tilted his head thinking of the locations of villages that he knew.

A week by our journey. How long for those two? I can not believe that they survived this long in the wild by themselves. Orophin shook his head. They had to have gotten lost from some larger group of men.

That is why I sent out the rest to scout the borders by where she was found. If they find their group they will inform me. The brothers nodded at Haldir's logic. 

What are we to do with her when her group is found? Haldir looked to rumil before answering.

That is for our Lady to decide. She has ventured too far into the woods to be sent back without Galadriel's consent. It was true. She was found two days in their border. Galadriel had to decide what to do with the child. 

I can not see her deciding anything but giving the child back," said Orophin. 

Nor can I. Haldir looked back down at the child. She was awake and watching them closely. Her eyes were wide open but she hadn't moved. She will slow us down, but I believe we can make the next talan by nightfall. Rúmil and Orophin agreed. Pack up camp and prepare our gear. I will take care of the child. As his brothers started packing their gear he walked over to the girl. He kneeled next to her and she backed away, but not as much as before.

"We are leaving child." She looked up at him then stood, always making sure that there was a distance between them. He saw the cuts and bruises on her hands, legs and face even more in the daylight and frowned. "How long were you out here alone?" He wondered out loud. She looked at him then down at the ground. He wasn't expecting an answer.

"We saw a moon," she said quietly. 

'A month!' He thought back to the little boy's injury. 'Had she been taking care of him for that long?' he thought. She looked back up to him.

We are done brother. Orophin swung a pack over his back as he spoke. Zinnia jumped and moved slightly behind Haldir. Haldir only nodded then looked down at Zinnia. 

"Are you ready?" She nodded at him and followed as he led the way to the edge of the talan. "We have to go down this rope to reach the bottom." He reached over and grabbed onto the rope to show her. Then he jumped out on it and turned back to the girl holding out one of his hands. She hesitantly took a step forward. When he had a secure hold on her he went down the rope and set her on the ground. She quickly moved away from him and waited at a near by tree. Haldir looked up and saw his brothers starting to climb down.

"We have a long way to go today. Would you like me to carry you?" Asked Haldir approaching the girl. Her head was facing the ground but she shook her head no. 

"Very well." When his brothers reached the ground they started walking. Haldir led and the girl always following three steps behind him. Rúmil and Orophin were walking side by side a little further back from the girl. They walked in silence mostly.

She is like your shadow brother. Orophin looked at the girl wondering why she was following Haldir as she was. Haldir stopped and looked back at the girl. When he stopped she did and quickly looked to the ground. He said nothing but kept walking. The girl followed. About an hour later they heard the girl start to hum. A human would not have noticed it, but the elves were able to hear her clearly. 

Perhaps he frightens her. He can look like an orc at times. Orophin laughed slightly amused by his words.

No, I think it is something else. Look how she follows him, always the same distance behind. Rumil smiled at orophin's words though he didn't believe them. Haldir stopped when they got to a small clearing. The girl immediately stopped and stood still. It is like she has been trained to stay the same distance.

Trained? You mean like a pet? Orophin looked down at the girl who had not moved from her position. Haldir knelt in front of her and asked something in common. The girl's eyes remained on the ground as she answered. 

We will be back in a moment. Do you think that she should eat again? Haldir's question was aimed at Rúmil. 

Yes, but only a small amount. I will ready food for her. Haldir nodded and went to reach for the girl, but stopped when he saw her tense. He then said something to her in her language and walked to the woods. The child followed three steps behind.

I have heard that man has what he calls slaves. Other men that they force into servitude. I had not thought that they applied that to children. Orophin frowned at his theory. 

Haldir has been to their city. Perhaps he would know. rumil started digging out some lembas and pulling out a water container from the bag he was caring. Haldir and the child came back a few minutes later. The child was still following him and Haldir was frowning even more than normal.

Is something wrong brother? asked Orophin.

The child is concerning me brother. Haldir turned around and looked at her. Her head was facing the ground, hands behind her back. Rúmil kneeled next to her and offered her some lembas with an open hand. She didn't move and only looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Are you not hungry?" She looked up to him then quickly back down at the ground. Then slowly nodded her head yes. "Then eat child." She grabbed the food from Rúmil careful not to touch him. Haldir sighed.

What was that about? Rumil watched the girl as she started to eat.

She would not eat until I told her to. 

Perhaps she is used to having to ask permission, said Orophin looking down at the girl. She had quickly eaten the food and was now standing in the same position she had been before. I admit that I have not been around a lot of humans, but this one is different from any others that I have encountered.

Yes, from what I have seen most men are very loud and prideful. Children of men seem so willful, even more so than their adult counterparts. But this one is so obedient. 

You have been to their cities Haldir. Do you think that she could be a slave? Rumil's tone was concerned.

I have never seen slavery. Haldir sighed as he had been thinking the same thing. This one comforted the boy child by telling him that he was free and no longer had to answer to a master though. He seemed rather pleased with the idea. 

Then I would think she treats you like she would her owner. 

But I am not! Haldir shouted angrily at rumil's statement. They all saw the girl visibly wince and then tense at his tone. 

The child does not know that, said Rúmil trying to calm his brother. Haldir sighed angrily and looked at the girl. She looked up at him but quickly darted her eyes back to the ground. In her eyes you were the one that found her. Perhaps she now believes that she must listen to you. 

She does not seem to regard us much. Orophin was also trying to calm his brother. When your back is turned she looks to the forest with wonder, but as soon as you face her she looks to the ground as she is doing now. She won't even respond to us, only you. As if to prove his point Orophin knelt down next to the girl and offered her his water pouch. She didn't move except to shy away from his hand slightly. Orophin looked to his brother. Tell her it is acceptable. 

"You may drink child." In response to haldir's words her hands wrapped around the water and she took a drink handing the bag back to Orophin. Her eyes glanced to Orophin when she took the bag, but stayed on the ground after that.

Even if you two are correct, she has escaped from her owners. It is doubtful that there are any other men in these woods. He said watching her then turning to his brothers. We must still make the next talan. He started walking then looked back at the child. She was three steps behind him. He frowned and continued on his way.

It was a few hours more before they took another break. They paused for the child though she seemed to show no signs of tiring. She was quiet except for the occasional bouts of humming and singing to herself. They gave her some more water and then continued on their way. 

Rúmil was the first one to notice when the girl started to fall behind. Orophin had walked up front talking quietly with Haldir. She seemed to almost be falling asleep as she walked. She would fall behind and then snap her head up and rush to get back in the right spot. He watched her do this a couple of times before saying anything.

Brother, I believe the child is tiring. He watched her rush to get back behind Haldir. Haldir stopped and so did she. He turned around and looked at the child, her chin was resting against her chest and she swayed slightly. They still had another couple of hours before they would reach their destination. He knelt down and went to pick her up when her eyes snapped open and she looked at him. He stilled seeing the fear that was in her eyes. She opened her mouth as if to say something but no sound came out. Haldir slowly lowered his hands.

Are you tiring child. He kept his tone gentle not wanting to scare her any more than she was already. She shook her head no and then looked down to the ground. He was getting frustrated as he could see her sway again and made up his mind. I am going to carry you the rest of the way. Ignoring how tense she was he reached over and picked her up before continuing walking. He frowned at the coolness of her skin and cursed himself. The child was almost shivering. He pulled his cloak around her and made sure that she was fully covered, then pulled his arm back around her. She seemed to relax a little after that. Slowly she relaxed to the point where her head was resting on his shoulder and she fell asleep.


	5. Nightmares

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: Woohoo another chapter! Again thank you for all of the great reviews. I have become a junkie. . lol. I just want to warn everyone right now, that the next chapter is going to be the most angsty so far. I have it written and am right now reading and rereading it to perfect it before I put it out. I have the day off work Friday so I will be able to work on it all weekend. Hopefully it will be up by late Sunday if not earlier. 

CHAPTER 5: Nightmares

They reached the talan a few hours after night had set. They made the child a makeshift bed with the blankets as the night before and placed her in it. She only curled up into a little ball, staying asleep. Rúmil and Orophin were on a talan in another tree leaving Haldir and the child alone. Haldir sighed as he sat down and watched the girl. Even in her sleep her expression was guarded, as if waiting for some pain to happen. He leaned back against the tree and relaxed letting his thoughts wonder, trusting his brothers to keep watch. 

A few hours passed when the girl made a soft noise. Haldir's thoughts immediately went back to her. Her face was frowning and she shifted in her sleep. She mumbled something that he could just make out.

"Master, I'm sorry." Her voice was tinged with fear. Then she tensed and curled up into a tiny ball, and started whimpering. Unsure of what to do Haldir only watched her for another second. "ALAR!" She screamed as she sat up suddenly breathing heavily. She looked around and when she saw him she tensed and immediately snapped her head down to her lap. 

"Are you well?" he asked hesitantly. The girl nodded but didn't look up from her lap. A tear caught the light as it fell to her hands. "Would you like me to sing?" He saw that she looked at him sharply, her eyes questioning. She slowly looked back down to her lap but didn't answer. "Can I get you something?" Still receiving no answer Haldir sighed not sure how to treat the creature in front of him. "You are allowed to speak, you do not have to ask permission from any here." She looked at him questioningly but then looked away. 

"I'm sorry I woke you." Haldir smiled, he had gotten her to talk.

"You did not wake me, elves do not need sleep as much as humans. Would you like some water?" He wanted to keep her talking.

"Yes." She answered and looked at him. This time she did not drop her gaze. She tensed as he handed her the water skin but took it from him. She took a small sip and then put it down. "Thank you." She looked up to the stars and pulled the blanket closer to her. 

"Do you have a favorite?" He followed her gaze to the sky. When he looked back down and saw that she smiled. 

"No, they are all my friends." She answered pulling her knees to her chin. There was a pause. "Alar likes the brightest one though. The one that looks blue." Haldir smiled sadly at the child in front of him. "He says that it is the mom of all the other stars. And it was the brightest because it was the oldest." She finished before lapsing back into silence. 

"My favorite is that one." He pointed to the star that his mother had been born under. She followed his finger and then smiled slightly. She slowly laid back down watching Haldir. He looked back down and smiled at her.

"Where are we going?" she asked finally, her eyes were closing slightly though he could tell that she was trying to stay awake.

"We are going to my city." 

"Are there more elves there?" 

"It is a city of elves." Her eyes were closed and there was a dreamy smile on her face.

"Alar would have liked to see that." Haldir heard her breathing even out shortly after. She had fallen back asleep. 

The sun was rising as Haldir and his brothers readied their gear for departure. They left the girl sleeping while they packed their equipment. When they were done Haldir went to the child with a water skin and some lembas. He quickly woke her up and she ate. The day progressed much as the first, though it seemed that the girl was not as hesitant around Haldir anymore. She still stayed three steps behind him now, but she would not drop her head when he turned. It was a few hours into the walk when she started singing quietly to herself.

What is she singing brother? asked Rúmil as he listened to her. Her voice would never match that of an elf, but the tune interested him. The child stopped and Haldir laughed. 

She sings a song of three wise men from Gondor. Haldir didn't bother. 

Well, what were the lyrics. Rúmil resisted rolling his eyes.

Three wise men from Gondor, went to sea in a bowl. If the bowl had been stronger, my song would have been longer. Rúmil and Orophin laughed at the song. 

Indeed it would have. Orophin looked down to the girl. She looked at them curiously but didn't break her stride. Do you have any more songs? She looked to Haldir as if for translation.

"He asked if you knew anymore songs. He has taken a liking to you most recent one." Haldir turned and looked to the girl. The girl's reaction confused everyone. She stopped walking and looked like a pack of orcs were surrounding her.

"I'm sorry. I'll be quiet." Haldir frowned and stepped towards her. She actually flinched as if afraid of being hit.

What is wrong brother? Orophin was concerned and Rúmil was scanning the forest as if looking for the reason for her fear.

She thinks that we are angry with her for singing. He looked back to the girl. "Child it is okay. We like your songs," said Haldir trying to calm the girl. She opened her eyes and looked at him. There was still fear there, but not as before.

"Master always wants quiet. Do not speak unless spoken to." She replied right away as if it was the response that was required. 

"None of us here are your master Zinnia." He kneeled down in front of her. "You are free here." She looked at him untrustingly. 

"I'm free?" she asked slightly confused. "But, you found me. I belong to you now."

"No child. I am not your master, nor are either of my brothers." She looked at him for a moment and then looked away. 

"If none of you are master then why are you taking me with you and giving me food?" He could tell that she was very confused now. "Am I to be sold to another?" 

"We take you with us because we can not leave you alone in these woods. We are its guardians and as such it is our duty to take you to our Lord and Lady when you enter our borders." Haldir tried to find a simple way to explain it to the confused child..

"So I am to become theirs." Her tone was that of understanding.

"No, elves do not have slaves." She still did not understand him. He could tell by the look in her eyes. He sighed and looked to his brothers. She does not understand that none will become her master here. 

Then we will just have to show her. Orophin knelt next to her and smiled. Please let me gift you with some of our songs to repay all of the gifts that you have given us. She looked at him then to Haldir. Haldir translated what he said and the girl actually blushed slightly.

"They were only songs."

"Come we must get going." They started walking again, but this time Orophin was the one singing. He sang upbeat happy songs. Most of them child rhymes and poems. Rúmil even joined in for a couple. By the end of the day they both had the girl laughing though. She had even started walking in between them, no longer shadowing Haldir. They had walked in silence for the past hour when Haldir felt a tug at his hand. He looked down and saw Zinnia. 

"I need to stop." Haldir stopped walking and looked down to her and smiled slightly. 

The child needs to go to the woods for a break. Rúmil and Orophin nodded and watched as Haldir took her to the woods.

I think that this child is good for Haldir. Rúmil spoke quietly knowing that his brother would not stray to far.

Yes I have never seen him smile as much in the past ten years as he has in the past few days. They quieted when the two came back and saw that the girl was actually holding his hand. When they started walking again the girl was at Haldir's side, still holding his hand. 

After another hours walk they had reached the telain they would be staying in for the night. Again Haldir and Zinnia would be on one talan while Orophin and Rúmil were on the other. Haldir gave Zinnia some more food and water and almost laughed when she started to fall asleep while eating. He gently took the water and food from her and laid her down on her blankets. She quickly fell into a deep slumber. After Haldir was sure she was asleep he went to the telain with his brothers to talk.

We should reach the city by tomorrow night. Rúmil took another bite of his dinner.

Yes, and then we will find out what is to become of her. Orophin looked over at the child on the telain in the tree across from them. Haldir remained quiet during the exchange. 

Well at least she will be getting a bath tomorrow. Her smell is quiet appalling. Rúmil put down the water skin. Plus we must get those cuts cleaned before too much longer.

Yes I will take her in the morning before we set out. Haldir finished his dinner before standing. I am going to rest. Rúmil and Orophin nodded and watched him go. They smiled as he leaned over and pulled the covers closer around the child before sitting down and relaxing against a tree limb. It was a few more hours before the girl got Haldir's attention again. She had started to thrash and moan as if in pain. 

Run Alar!!" she screamed as she sat up quickly crying. "Run. Run run run." She was still screaming. Haldir was in front of her in an instant.

"Shhh child. You are safe now." She backed away from him and cowered into the tree. She was still crying. 

"He's dead. I failed. I tried to get Alar away. I didn't mean to but. . but he found us." Her words came haltingly between tears and sobs. Haldir slowly moved closer to her. He went to put a hand on her shoulder when she jumped into his arms crying. She wrapped her arms around him and pushed her face into his chest. He stilled for a second not knowing what to do then slowly wrapped his arms around the crying child in his arms. 

"Shh. . it all will be well." Haldir rocked the child until her breathing became even and calm again. He looked down and saw that she was asleep. When he went to place her down on her blanket her grip around him tightened. He tried again but the girl made a sound of protest and grabbed even harder. In the end he pulled the blanket around both of them with a sigh. The girl sighed too and burrowed deeper into his side. Haldir reached up and started stroking her hair. 'Tomorrow you are getting a bath little one.' He thought as he felt the grime and dirt under his fingertips.


	6. Scars

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

I'm soooooo sorry. So so so so sorry it has taken me so long to get this done. Everyone must hate me! I'm trying my best but my muse took a nice little vacation and then life decided to get all interesting on me. I'm graduating soon so I should have more free time to get this done. I have the next chapter written and am right now just re-reading it and hope to have it up later today or early tomorrow. 

I have also changed things slightly. After re-reading previous chapters I have decided that it was stupid of me to not denote the difference between Elvish and Common. I have done so on this one. Elvish is in the following: blah while Common in regular quotes. I hope that makes more sense. 

This chapter deals more with the child abuse that I was talking about in my first disclaimer. Again I don't promote it, but this is the story that my mind cooked up. Once more sorry about the delay and thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews!

CHAPTER 6 : Scars

The next morning Haldir was able to pull the child off of him and reposition her in the blankets without a problem. He stood and went to his pack, pulling out one of his spare undershirts and his cleaning supplies. 

Did you sleep well brother? asked Orophin with a smile on his face. Before he could answer Rúmil came onto the talan.

Leave him alone Orophin. Rúmil frowned at Orophin then went over to Haldir, handing him a bottle of salve. Apply this to any cuts after she is clean.

You are a better healer. You should do it. Said Haldir frowning. Rúmil looked at the girl then back at Haldir.

You hold what little trust she has shown us. I do not believe she will let anyone else that close.

I do not know what I am doing Rúmil. What if I hurt her? Rúmil understood Haldir was talking about more than just her physical injuries and was quiet for a moment. His brother rarely showed any self-doubt, and never voiced it. 'He is truly afraid' thought Rúmil. He placed a hand on Haldir's shoulder and squeezed in a show of comfort.

You will not hurt her. Just be careful. Right now she is frightened and alone. She is among strange people and a strange race. Just do what your heart tells you is right and you can not go wrong. He hoped to sooth haldir's concerns with his answer.

I do not know about my heart, but my nose says that she needs a bath. Haldir stood and rumil laughed quietly.

Yes, I have to agree. Orophin and I will stand watch. Haldir nodded and went over to the girl. He reached out and touched her shoulder lightly.

"Little one. Wake up."

"G'way Alar" She rolled over accompanying her mumbled reply. Haldir frowned and tried again.

"Zinnia. You must wake up now." His tone became slightly more stern to wake her.

"Alar, I'll make breakfast when master leaves." Haldir looked to his brothers for help. Both shrugged.

Maybe some water in the face. It always seemed to work for Rúmil. Orophin laughed as rumil frowned at him. At the strange voice and language Zinnia jumped slightly and backed away from Haldir. Haldir smiled at her softly hoping to alleviate her fears.

"Finally you are awake." 

"Sorry." She looked down at her hands and figited with the hem of her blanket.

"It is alright little one. Come we must go to the river." Haldir stood up and waited for Zinnia to follow.

"Why?"

"You need a bath," answered Haldir as he picked up the supplies in front of him. When he looked back to the girl he stilled. Her eyes were filled with fear and she had backed away from him. She was shaking her head no. He went to reach for her but she was too far away.

"NO!" She screamed as she moved further out of his reach. She went to run but Orophin was able to grab her. She started thrashing and screaming even more. 

What is wrong with her? asked Rúmil concerned.

I told her that she was going to take a bath and she reacted like this. Haldir walked over to Orophin seeing the girl's struggles he frowned.

I have heard that the race of men did not like to bathe. But I did not think that they were actually afraid to do so. orophin was still holding the struggling child. 

Nor I. Haldir reached to take the child from Orophin and her struggles increased. "Stop struggling child," he said as he took her. Using one arm around her waist and pinning her arms holding her against his chest he took her from orophin.

"NO!" She screamed and kicked out. Her foot caught Orophin in the stomach knocking him back slightly. She stilled instantly and looked at Orophin with fear and started crying. Then suddenly struggled even harder causing Haldir to almost loose his grip. 

Quite a little temper. orophin rubbed the spot she had kicked. I think I liked her better when she was quiet. He laughed slightly and Haldir smiled. Rúmil chuckled and took the supplies from Haldir allowing him to use two hands in holding the child. They got down the talan without incident though the girl was still struggling. 

"Child you will not get away. Stop struggling and save your energy." Haldir was loosing his patience and allowed a hint of anger to seep into his tone. 'It is just a bath!' he thought angrily. She slowly stopped struggling, though she was still crying.

"You said I was free." She sobbed softly as they neared the stream. 

"You are, but you are also dirty and need to get clean." When they entered the clearing by the stream she started struggling again.

"No, I'm free. You said I was free! I won't do it. You are not my master. No." She was screaming and tears were running freely down her face. Haldir sighed and approached the stream. Rúmil sat down the supplies next to the stream and looked back to Haldir. 

We will go up to the trees. He said and then walked off, followed by Orophin.

Good luck brother. Orophin laughed slightly as he walked away.

"No. Please. I'll be good. I swear. Anything else." She started pleading with him. Haldir sighed and put her down in the water making sure he had a good grip on her incase she tried to run again. The water rose to her upper thigh causing her dress to get wet.

"It's just a bath child." He held her in place and reached down to pull her filthy dress over her head. She seemed to give up and stood where she was, her back to him. He got the dress off of her and tossed it to the side. He froze when he looked back to the girl. 

Her back was torn to shreds. It looked as though someone had taken a whip to her repeatedly. There was barely an unmarked spot of flesh. Scars and fading bruises covered her back down her buttocks and legs. Haldir took a deep breath and stilled. 'How could someone hit a child! Let alone whip them!' screamed Haldir's mind. The pain that she had been through. Tears started running down his face. His mind was still screaming as his mouth opened but no words came out. She turned around and the tears ran faster at the damage that he saw there.

Marks were all over her chest and legs. Many of the bruises were formed like hands and those were fresh. Only a few days old. There were more whip mark scars but not as many as on her back. Deep dark bruises were on her forearms and on her thighs. He closed his eyes to shut the vision out. His mind was blank. He couldn't understand how someone would let that happen to a child.

Elvin children were becoming more rare and precious to the race. No one would let anything like this happen to a child. They were loved and cared for by all in the city not just the family. To see this done to a child no matter what the race shocked Haldir to the very depths of his soul. He felt a tentative touch on his cheek and by reflex his eyes opened. 

"Don't cry." Tears were falling down her face as well. She had placed her hand on his cheek, through his tears. "I. . I'll take a bath if you want. Just don't cry okay." She pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry for being bad." He could see that she was scared. She was trembling in fact. 

"You were not bad." It came out a little harsher than expected and she jumped. Haldir instantly regretted his tone. "I am the one who should apologize." She looked at him confused, and shook her head no. Then she sat down in the water covering her to her shoulders. He looked up and saw his brothers. Their reactions were pretty much the same as his. 

Both had pain in their eyes, and both had silent tears running down their face. He looked back to the girl and saw that she was looking down at her feet through the water. She had pulled her knees to her chest and was gripping them tightly. Haldir slowly pulled out the bottle of soap that he had and handed it to the girl. She took it and waited still looking at her feet. 

"Do you know how to use soap?" She looked at him quickly then looked away again before she nodded her head yes. He paused again but the child did not move. "Then why don't you?" He tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke. She looked at him confusion lacing her expression.

"I can't." Her voice was halting and fearful. 

"Why not?" 

"You still have your clothes on." Her tone was so simple and matter-of-fact that it revolted him. It was as though icy fingers seized his heart. Now he knew why she was so reluctant to get in the water. She thought that she would be bathing him. His stomach rolled over at the thought and he quickly shut his eyes against the nausea that threatened him. He fell forward and out of reflex one of his hand came out to balance him, landing in the water. A gentle touch on his hand brought him back.

"Are you alright?" She had placed her small hand over his. He looked down at it then slowly back up into her eyes.

"Yes. I..I . am not going to bathe with you. You wash yourself." He tried to keep his voice calm to keep the girl from frightening. Inside his anger was raging. He wanted to find who did this and hurt them. 

"Oh. Okay." She looked confused but did as he said and started washing herself.

"I will be back shortly." He stood and quickly walked out of the clearing and far enough into the woods so she wouldn't be able to see him. He leaned his forehead on the tree in front of him his thoughts racing. He didn't know how much time passed before he heard someone approaching. The steps were light and he knew it to be one of his brothers. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back to see Rúmil standing beside him.

Orophin is guarding the girl. Haldir nodded and put his head back on the tree.

She. . she thought she was going to attend me Rúmil. That is why she didn't want to bathe. He felt his brother stiffen then slowly relax. I can not do this. I am so angry Rúmil. I want to find who did this and hurt them. 

I saw the marks brother, and I would help you if you found him. But right now you have to push your anger aside for the child's sake. She must see nothing but compassion. Rumil removed his hand and Haldir turned to face him. Tears were running down his face again.

How can someone do that to a child? Especially their own brethren, he asked leaning his back against the tree. 

I do not know. But she is safe now. You must concentrate on that. And she needs you. Haldir looked at his brother and nodded. He wiped the tears from his face and looked towards the clearing. 

Thank you Rúmil. He grabbed his brother's hand and giving it a quick squeeze before returning to the child. Rúmil left to return to Orophin.

He went back to the clearing and saw that the girl was currently scrubbing her hair with the soap. He made sure to make noise and step when he returned so he wouldn't scare her. She turned and saw him and froze. He gave a small smile and approached her slowly. She seemed to relax some and then finished with her hair though she kept her eyes on him the entire time. He busied himself by reading the shirt and the salve for her.

"I. . I'm done." He looked to her and nodded. 

"I am going to put this on your cuts." He held out the salve to show her. She looked at him suspiciously and didn't move. "It will help with the pain and heal them faster."

"Why?" she asked curious now.

"Why what little one?" 

"Why would you waste it on me?" Her attention was on the salve in his hand as she spoke. 

"You are injured. It would not be a waste to use it." His voice was calm though he was fuming inside. 

"I'm not in much pain. I've had worse. You shouldn't waste it." He tried to keep the pain out of his voice and eyes at the statement.

"Please, let me treat your injuries. I can acquire more salve when we reach the city." She looked like she was going to refuse but slowly got out of the water and stood in front of him. He handed her his cloak and she looked at it curiously then back to him.

"To dry yourself little one." She didn't' say anything but started to wipe it over herself. When she was done he kneeled down next to her and held out the small bottle of salve. She looked at it and then to him not moving.

"Take some and put it on your cuts in front. I will get the ones you can not reach on your back." She hesitantly reached out and scooped some of the salve on her fingers and then started dabbing it on the cuts on her chest. He nodded in encouragement and moved behind her. Tears were in his eyes again as he applied the salve to the still healing marks on her back. He tried to be gentle as to not hurt her any more. He hesitated when he had to go lower but quickly covered the cuts knowing that it needed to be done. She tensed but didn't move away from his touches. When he was done he put the salve away and reached over for his shirt. He put it over her head and she quickly put her arms through and pulled it down over her.

"It's too big," she said looking down at herself. 

"It is all we have though. It is only temporary." He looked over and saw her trying to push the sleeves up to reveal her hands but each time they would roll back down. "May I?" He held his hand out to her. She nodded and held out her arm covered by the offending garment. He rolled the sleeves up until her hands were shown then folded the fabric over itself so it would make a cuff. She smiled shyly and handed him the other arm allowing him to repeat the process. He then gathered the bottom material and tied a knot so she could walk without tripping over the fabric. He whistled and his brothers came back into view. Orophin was barely containing his rage as a few more tears slipped from his eyes. 

"Sit and I will brush your hair." Haldir pulled his comb from his pack and watched as the girl slowly sunk down. He grabbed his cloak and gently dried her hair a little more before starting to work his way through it with the comb. It was full of knots and tangles. Many he couldn't break apart and would have to be cut out when they reached the city.

Rúmil wordlessly pulled out some lembas and a water skin from his pack. He handed the small portion of bread to Zinnia as well as the water. She took it though she regarded the others very closely now. Rúmil smiled softly at her, but she only kept eating then looked to Orophin. Tears were still slipping down his face. When he was done with her hair Haldir walked over to his brother putting the supplies back in the pack he carried.

Brother, I know you are upset. As am I. Haldir looked over and saw the child watching them. He wasn't able to read the expression in her eyes and looked back to his brother. But we must hide this pain from her. 

She is only a mere babe! Oropin spoke quietly but angrily. The girl frowned at his tone. He had balled his fists and they were shaking from the rage in him. 

"Will you tell him that I'm sorry I kicked him earlier. I. . I didn't mean to hurt him" They all looked to her when she spoke. She was still sitting in the same spot but she was watching Orophin.

She says that she is sorry that she kicked you earlier. Orophin closed his eyes tightly as more tears were coming down. When he opened his eyes he looked to the girl. 

You have no reason to apologize. I am sorry for handling you in such a manner. He smiled slightly down to her. Haldir translated his words but the girl's face was only confusion. 

"I hurt you though. And I know I will be punished. But. . I'm sorry." She missed the pained look that went over Haldir's face as he translated the words. She saw the look of sadness that went over Orophin's though. He hung his head and looked away.

"You will not be punished little one. All is forgiven, finish eating." She only nodded and then went back to her food looking down to the ground.

The wounds on her back. Were any fresh? Rumil joined his brothers.

Nay. The freshest seemed at least a couple of weeks old. Haldir lowered his gaze and Rúmil nodded placing a hand on his shoulder. 

What Haldir said earlier is true Orophin. It would not be wise to show anger around this child, even if it is not directed towards her. They all looked to the child as she stood and fidgeted slightly. The shirt was huge on her, falling off one of her shoulders slightly and pooled down on the ground despite Haldir's attempt to shorten it. Her attention was on some flowers that were growing at the base of a tree near by.

I had not thought that men was worthy of our disdain until this day. No one responded to orophin and there was a silence among them.

We must go. Today will be our longest journey. We will reach the city by early evening. Before they left Orophin picked a handful of the flowers and gave the child a small bouquet.


	7. Caras Galadhon

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: If there are any mistakes in this I'm sorry. I was in kind of a rush to get this out to make up for my long absence. Please read the notes at the bottom because I need your help in deciding which course of action to take now. Enjoy and don't forget to review!! Oh, also my elvish is just about as good as my Russian. In other words I don't know anything! I'm kind of guessing but it works for me and I hope it does for you too.

Chapter 7: Caras Galadhon

"We have a long way to go today. I am going to carry you for a while." Haldir kneeled down in front of Zinnia and she nodded walking to him. He stood taking her with him. She still held onto the flowers that Orophin had given her. Rúmil and Orophin walked behind their brother. Haldir shifted her so she was against his shoulder and she looked back and watched the brothers as they walked. Rúmil caught her eye and smiled slightly. Zinnia blushed and smiled back but quickly turned away. A few minutes later she looked back again. This time Rúmil stuck his tongue out at her and the girl giggled at him. Haldir turned to look at his brother who just gave him a confused look. Zinnia smiled at Rúmil when Haldir turned back around. Orophin watched and smiled too, then grinned mischievously.

He leaned over and snatched a flower like the girl had in her hand. He waited until she looked over at him and then held it up. She held hers up and he nodded smiling. Then he put it in his hair and pointed to Haldir. The child looked at him confused for a moment but then a bright smile broke out over her face and she nodded. She reached up and started putting the flowers in Haldir's hair. Orophin was laughing silently, when Rúmil saw the exchange he started laughing as well.

"What are you doing child?" asked Haldir feeling her putting something in his hair. 

"Making your hair pretty." She said continuing to put the flowers in his braids. Haldir didn't know what to say to this. He momentarily felt outrage. He was the March Warden, not some maiden. He was a warrior, and warriors did not walk around with flowers in their hair. His anger vanished when he saw the smile on the child's face. She was happy so he would allow it.

"Thank you little one." He said and tightened his grip on her for a second in a spontaneous embrace. He turned around and looked at his brothers. Orophin quickly pulled a flower out of his hair and tried to look innocent. Though both were laughing. He glared at them. I will get you for that. They didn't stop laughing though. He continued walking and ignored them. It was a while later when the little girl sighed and started fidgeting. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"I have to go." 

"Go where?" 

"You know." She wiggled a little more. "Go." She emphasized the word and he suddenly understood.

"Ahh." He smiled at her. We are taking a rest. He informed his brothers before leading the girl into the forest. As she relieved her self he searched the surroundings smiling at the beauty of his forest. When he looked back the girl was gone. His heart felt like it momentarily stopped. 

"Zinnia." There was no response and he looked around the clearing. He remembered how light her footsteps were for a human and cursed. "Zinnia we have to go back to the others." He let out the breath he was holding when he saw her head pop out from behind a tree a little further ahead of him. As he walked over to her he tried to calm down.

"Look I found a thing." She held up a small toad with a large smile on her face.

"It is a toad," said Haldir correcting her. "Zinnia, you have to make sure I know where you are at when you leave." She looked up at him confused. Then frowned. 

"I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Just, from now on you do not wonder alone." She nodded and then looked back down at the toad in her hands. Slowly she put the toad on the ground.

"Go home mister toad." She pushed his bottom until it jumped away. She clapped watching it go, a smile on her face. Haldir smiled and turned back towards his brothers. Zinnia grabbed his hand again and started walking. 

Rúmil and Orophin had gotten out the water skins and the lembas, each eating a small piece. They smiled when the two returned. Orophin held out a small piece of lembas to Zinnia. Zinnia looked up at Haldir unsure. "You should eat." He said and let go of her hand. She took the food from Orophin carefully as if afraid something would happen. When nothing did she took a bite and smiled sat down as she chewed her food.

I must say that your hair looks stunning. Both Orophin and Rúmil started laughing. Haldir tensed and looked at his brothers angrily. Before he could say anything Zinnia spoke.

"What did he say?" Haldir looked at his brother and smiled widely. 

"They were admiring the fine job you did with my hair. Though I think they feel left out. Perhaps you could decorate theirs as well." He smiled down at the girl. 

"Yes!" she said happily and ran collecting some more flowers. Rúmil and Orophin stopped laughing watching the girl's excitement.

What did you say to her brother. Rúmil's tone was wary.

I simply told her that you were commenting on my hair. Zinnia ran over and grabbed Orophin's hand. She pulled it until he leaned down, he smiled at her not sure what was going on. 

Yes child? His smile faltered when she put a flower in his hair. She laughed and then put another one in. Orophin could hear his brothers laughing. When the girl was done he stood. I do not see what you find so funny. He said raising his head highly.

Nothing at all brother. Said Rúmil laughing. He stopped when he felt a tug at his hand. He looked down at a smiling child with a handful of flowers. She held them up to him and he sighed. I guess there is no getting out of this. He said kneeling down to let the girl have better access to his hair. When she was done Haldir gave her some more water and then they started moving again. This time though Zinnia was holding on to both Rúmil and Orophin's hands as they walked. Every couple of steps Zinnia would lift her legs up and the two brothers would swing her forward causing her to giggle. 

"Can I hear another song?" she asked looking up to Orophin. He smiled at her and waited for Haldir's translation.

She would like another song brother. Orophin's smile got wider. 

Sure child. Again he mostly sang child's rhymes and songs. They walked like that for a while before Orophin once again fell silent.

A large yawn broke out over Zinnia's face after a few more hours of walking. Haldir didn't say anything as he leaned over and picked her up then continued walking. Zinnia rested her head on his shoulder and relaxed. Rúmil and Orophin smiled at the two. "How much longer before we get to your home?" she asked tiredly.

"Just a few more hours walk." He felt the girl nod.   
"I'm tired."

"Then sleep child. I've got you." He placed his hand gently on her back. 

"M'kay." She relaxed completely in his embrace. Haldir felt her breathing even out a few moments later. She was fast asleep. He pulled his cloak around her a little without breaking his stride.

They reached the city a few hours later. Zinnia was still fast asleep on Haldir when they entered the gates. The guards nodded to Haldir and his brothers though they looked at them with confusion and a few hidden grins. Haldir shifted his thoughts to the child as he wondered what would happen to her now. Whatever the decision regarding her he was not going to send her back to where she came from, she would not go back to that abuse. He walked up to one of the sentries before the home of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel.

"Please tell my Lord and Lady that I request and audience with them on a most urgent manor." Haldir bowed slightly as the guard looked at the child in his arms then nodded before disappearing. He took this time to wake the girl in his arms.

"Zinnia, we are at my city. You must wake up to present yourself to my Lord and Lady." She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed them. Then looked around in wonder. 

"This place is beautiful." When she noticed the others looking at her and she tensed and grabbed harder on to Haldir.

"No one will hurt you here Zinnia. You are safe now." He put her down and kneeled to face her.

"Do you promise Haldir?" 

"I promise Zinnia." She smiled and hugged him. He quickly returned it hearing the sentry return. He could feel Zinnia push into his leg and grab his hand as the sentry returned.

"They will see you." Haldir nodded and started up the steps. After only going up a few he lifted Zinnia and they continued on their way. His brothers were still following behind him. They entered the hall and he placed Zinnia down on the ground in front of him. She stood and looked up at him but wouldn't let go of his hand. The doors opened and the Lord and Lady entered the hall. The noise of the doors frightened her and she jumped back into Haldir. Before he could do anything she scrambled around behind him and clutched onto his leg pressing her face into him. She was hidden in his cloak. He could do nothing now and bowed to his Lord and Lady.

You have returned early from your watch Haldir. Galadriel smiled knowingly at him.

And it seems you have grown an extra pair of legs. Continued Celeborn looking down at Zinnia's feet. 

My brothers and I found this child in the woods. She was well within our borders.

There was another with her. Haldir met Galadriel's gaze. 

Yes, her brother. He is dead. Haldir looked down to Zinnia who had poked her head out from behind him and relented somewhat on her grip. Lady Galadriel looked down at Zinnia and smiled widely. Haldir felt her move even more behind him.

Where is the group that she traveled with?

There was no group my Lord. They were alone. Celeborn looked shocked at this. The boy was bleeding on the inside. Perhaps if we had gotten to him sooner we would have been of some help.

It was not your fault Haldir. Nor are this child's wounds, said Galadriel looking at Haldir. Haldir swallowed heavily and nodded. Galadriel looked at him a moment more then down at the child. She knelt down at Zinnia's eye level.

"Would I see the face of the one that has captured my March Warden's heart." She smiled slightly when Zinnia's face peaked out from around Haldir's leg. "I will not hurt you." Zinnia glanced to Celeborn then back to Galadriel. "He will not either child. You are safe as Haldir has said." Zinnia slowly came out from behind Haldir but kept a tight hold of his hand.

"You are very bright." Galadriel laughed lightly.

"I am known as the lady of light. I am Galadriel and this is my husband Celeborn." Celeborn nodded and smiled at the girl. She smiled hesitantly back but leaned further into Haldir. "What is your name child?" she asked encouragingly.

"Zinnia." She answered. "Arel would have liked you. You look like stars." She said gazing at Galadriel and Celeborn. Galadriel looked up to Haldir.

Her brother. Haldir answered the unspoken question.

"Thank you child." Zinnia blushed at Celeborn's comment but didn't move. "You must be very tired after your journey." 

"Haldir let me sleep on him." Zinnia smiled up at Haldir, he smiled back down at her. 

"Then would you like to join us for dinner?" asked Galadriel.

"I would not know how to serve." Celeborn frowned and looked at Haldir. He had a pained look across his face. 

"You would be eating with us." Galadriel glanced at Haldir but gave no other reaction. The child still seemed confused and leaned back on Haldir. Zinnia squeezed his hand slightly. "Haldir and his brothers are also invited." 

"We would be honored to accept your invitation." Haldir bowed slightly and Zinnia smiled nodding her head yes at Galadriel. Galadriel smiled and stood taking Celeborn's hand. As they entered the dinning hall Haldir could feel Zinnia tense more and more. He looked down at her and frowned. "What is wrong child?" 

"I. . I don't know what to do." She trembled slightly and Haldir knelt down in front of her.

"You have eaten before." He smiled at her hoping to calm her nerves.

"Not at a table," she said quietly. "I will mess up. I haven't been trained." Her eyes were filling with tears. Haldir looked over to the table and then back to the girl. 

"You will be next to me. There is nothing to worry over." She looked at him and smiled then hugged him. Haldir stiffened slightly, but then relaxed and hugged her back. He went to stand up but she wouldn't let go. He picked her up and continued to walk to the table. The others had reached the table and there were only two empty seats left. Galadriel and Celeborn sat at the heads of the table while Rúmil and   
Orophin sat on the same side. Haldir noticed that the chair closest to Celeborn had another stool on it. He placed Zinnia in that chair and sat in the other. 

"Please help yourself." They started filling their plates at Celeborn's words. Zinnia only watched for a moment then looked to Haldir. He wordlessly started putting small amounts of the food on her plate. 

It is strange for children to be out on their own. Celeborn looked down at Zinnia curiously. Especially human children.

I think that they have run away from their home my Lord, said Rúmil. 

Yes, I heard her telling her brother that they were free. The poor child repeated it many times before he died. Haldir started filling his plate. Zinnia still hadn't eaten anything, but was watching everyone else. After Haldir picked up his fork she looked at hers then grabbed it. She held it in a tight grip and looked at it curiously. I believe her and her brother were slaves that ran away. She smiled up at him and he returned it. 

Slaves, a nasty human invention. Zinnia's eyes flashed to Orophin at his angry tone. He calmed down and smiled down at her. She looked back to Haldir still gripping the fork and watched as he used it then she attempted the same motions with hers. 

She has suffered at the hands of her kin. Haldir spoke softly as he watched Zinnia struggle to get a small amount of food in her mouth with the fork. She had to hold it there with her other hand but she smiled triumphantly at her success.

Yes, though I think she will find healing within these woods. Galadriel smiled at the girl's grin. 

Yes, but what is to be done with her? asked Celeborn. Someone must take on responsibility as her caretaker. He watched as Zinnia attempted to use the fork again. Perhaps Fantil will be up to the task. Celeborn looked to his wife impassively. Though she saw the mirth that was in her husbands eyes. 

Yes, she knows westron. She would be one with the language skills to communicate with the child, said Galadriel going along with her husband. Everyone at the table saw Haldir tense silently. 

I do not think that it would be wise to remove her from Haldir's company. Argued Rúmil. He knew what his Lord and Lady were doing. They had to get Haldir to suggest staying with the child, otherwise they would not take him from his border duties.

She can not go along with him on watch. We will have to find someone who can watch her constantly, said Celeborn. 

I would volunteer my Lord. All but Zinnia looked to Haldir when he spoke. 

This would mean you would be removed as marchwarden of these Woods Haldir. Galadriel's tone was serious, though she smiled inside. Even if it were until the child is old enough to be left alone.

Yes my lady I understand. Rúmil and Orophin smiled.

Very well Haldir. You are relieved of duty until such time as your responsibilities allow you to regain your post. Celeborn smiled slightly at the girl. You have taken on a greater responsibility that I think you know my friend. May the Valar be with you. Galadriel smiled at her husband. By this time Zinnia had eaten most of the food on her plate. 

"Lady Zinnia I do have to congratulate you on your accomplishments," said Celeborn looking down at her. She looked up to him with confusion on her face.

"Yes, I have never seen such beautiful hair decorations in all my long years." Galadriel smiled openly which Zinnia returned. 

'The flowers!' thought Haldir suddenly his hands going to his hair. He looked across the table and saw his brothers react the same. 'No wonder the guards were looking at us so curiously.' A small blush crept up his face. 'I'm never going to live this down.'

"Haldir told me what a toad was. They are slimy, but can jump." Zinnia's tone was quiet.

"Yes, they are very slimy." Galadriel laughed at the reactions of the three guards sitting at her table. The food on her plate was gone and Zinnia put the fork back down on the table. She glanced to Haldir. He grabbed the goblet from the table and took a drink. He saw Zinnia copy his actions. She reached out and grabbed the goblet in front of her and took a drink. She went to set it back down on the table, but the end tipped and the cup fell over causing water to spill all over the table. A soft little moan came out of Zinnia and she looked up to Celeborn.

"S. s.sorry." Her eyes were wide and full of fear.

"No harm" Celeborn reached to pick up the goblet but stopped when he saw the child flinch and recoil as if waiting to be hit. Tears had started running down her face. Celeborn frowned and looked sharply to Galadriel. Haldir reached for Zinnia and she jumped at his touch. 

"It is not cause for worry Zinnia." She opened her eyes at Haldir's reassurance, still shedding tears.

"I didn't mean it. I'll be good. I will," she said brokenly between sobs. Haldir grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. She clutched onto him and buried her face in his chest.

Perhaps it would be best if the child could rest, said Galadriel gently. 

Yes, we should have known better than to push her. Celeborn frowned slightly looking to the girl on Haldir's lap. You will have the necessary supplies to care for her tomorrow. 

"Thank you." Haldir stood and then bowed awkwardly with the child in his arms. He quickly turned away and started towards his home. It was at least ten minutes before the child stopped sobbing and calmed down. Haldir only kept comforting her in the only way he knew. He was singing a lullaby quietly to her. He ignored the confused and curious looks from elves that passed his way. After she had calmed Haldir shifted her so she would look up to his face. "Are you okay now ai'elen?" She looked up at him, her eyes puffy and red.

"I'm sorry." He sat her down on a bench near by and kneeled down in front of her so that he was at her level. She looked down at her feet ashamed. He gently held her chin and pulled it up so she would look him in the eye.

"There is nothing to be sorry for." He wiped away a tear. "You did nothing wrong." 

"But. I. . i. . spilled the drink." Tears started forming in her eyes again. Haldir only smiled at her. 

"No harm was done Zinnia. Lord Celeborn even said so. Why do you fear our reaction?" 

"I should be punished." 

"Not for an accident." He let go of her chin and sat down on the ground still facing her. He closed his eyes silently praying. There was a pause before she spoke.

"Masters punish when you do wrong." She stated as if stating the color of the sky or water was wet. Haldir quickly opened his eyes and looked at the girl. She was looking at him intently.

"I am not your master." She looked at him for a second and then looked away.

"I wish you were. You have been kind to me." She was almost whispering.

"Zinnia you must believe me when I say that no one here is your master in the sense that you think. No one will ever harm you in that way again." His tone was harsh and it caused her to look at him. Though he saw that she was not upset, only curious.

"Are you going to send me away ?" she asked frowning.

"Would you like another to care for you?" asked Haldir hoping that she said no. Galadriel was right, this mortal child had stolen his heart in a way that no elf had ever been able to.

"I would like to stay with you." She shyly ducked her head and looked back down to her feet. Haldir smiled.

"Then you will for as long as you wish to remain." Her head snapped up and she smiled brightly at him. "Now come. You must get some more rest." He stood and held his hand out to her. She jumped off the bench and took it walking beside him to his telain.

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ai'elen = little star (elen=star and ai=little. I hope that combined in this manor it equals what I think it does.)

Okay, also here is decision time. I am debating on what to do next as far as Zinnia's master goes. I hope that by now it was obvious that he caught up to them recently. That means he could still be in the woods and the elves that Haldir sent out to scout in chapter one could either find him dead. . or alive. 

Hmm. . I have a plan of what to write on either account, but I don't know which one works better. If anyone would give me some suggestions. I would appreciate it. My e-mail is dolenurya@fanfiction.net. Thanks to all my readers!!!


	8. Confusion

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Thank you for all of the great reviews! It was pretty much a unanimous decision. . the master is going to be found alive. He'll be making an entrance soon so keep reading. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Confusion 

Haldir woke up the next morning to a soft knocking on his door. He gently pulled Zinnia off of him and wrapped her small arms around a pillow. She shifted slightly and burrowed deeper as he pulled the blankets to her shoulders. He walked to the front door and opened it to reveal one of Galadriel's handmaidens carrying a large basket. She smiled at him as he opened the door.

Good morning Haldir. 

Suvel. He greeted with a large grin.

I have some clothing and supplies for our newest inhabitant. She lifted the basket in her arms. 

Please come in. He moved back allowing her entrance. 

Tell me that little child is staying at your brothers Haldir.

Nay, she is asleep in . Suvel cut him off.

Haldir! Look around this room and tell me why a child her age should not be let in here. At a loss Haldir scanned the room and saw nothing out of place. Everything was neat and orderly put where it should be.

Suvel I do not understand what. . he was cut off again.

There are weapons within easy reach Haldir! she said exasperated. Not only that but all of those glass bottles, they have to be put up as well. This place is dangerous for a child! Haldir took another look and admitted that she was right. At least three daggers were at her height. As well as his arrow making supplies. Even more was in reach should she climb on a chair. His weapon cleaning and sharpening oils were all in glass bottles out on a table with his sword. The place he normally put it when he came back from the boarders. His bow and quiver were against the wall. 

Suvel I was not thinking. He looked back to the elf in front of him. She sighed and set the basket down and looked back to him and smiled. 

I know dear one. You are not used to thinking of such things. Suvel had been one to help her mother raise him and his brothers after their father had been killed in the last alliance. She reached up and started pulling the wilted flowers from his hair. He blushed realizing he had forgotten them yet again. Oh Haldir, I am so happy that you have decided to care for this child. I never thought I would see you become a father. Always so busy at the borders. She sighed again. I would see you married to a nice elf and have a family. 

Suvel They had this argument for an age now. He would probably never marry. It was just not something that he saw in his future. He pledged his loyalties to his Lord and Lady, always away at the borders. He could not see that being the kind of life any one would want to share with him permanently.

I know, I know Haldir. She stopped the argument before it started. I have brought some clothes for her as well as combs and brushes. Also some play things if she would like them. Lord Celeborn has informed me that another dresser will be brought up as well as another bed. Those should be here later as they are still being made. Haldir nodded and wondered where he was going to put everything. Perhaps you should also request a weapons cabinet. He nodded and smiled at her. 

Thank you Suvel. I believe that there are many things I will miss if you are not here to help me. She smiled at him. 

Ah, Haldir, you know how much I love children. It is such a shame that we have not had any here in such a long time. She looked around. Now, let us go through the rest of your home and I will tell you what needs to change.

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Zinnia woke up and stretched slightly, then suddenly bolted straight up. She looked around the room and frowned. Looking out the window she saw that it was past sunrise and she blanched quickly jumping out of bed. 'I didn't make breakfast.' She thought and frowned again. She remembered going to sleep, Haldir singing to her softly. He was sure to be angry with her for not having breakfast ready when he got up. She quietly went to the door and pressed her ear against it. She could just make out the sounds of talking and quickly backed away from it. 

Her master had always wanted her out of the way and out of sight when he had visitors. Unless she was serving them, she shuddered slightly and backed up to the bed. She was confused and didn't know what to do. She turned back to the bed and started making it hoping that Haldir wouldn't be as mad if she had done some work. As soon as she was done with the bed she started picking up clothes that were lying around on the floor and folding them. A few were noticeably dirty and she set those aside so she could wash them later. The others she sat on a neat pile on the bed. 

She looked around the room thoughtfully and decided that she would have to clean the floor and dust. Perhaps he would want her to clean his weapons. She hoped that he wouldn't want her to sharpen them, she wasn't very good at it. Always managing to cut herself somehow. She opened a dresser door and frowned. The clothes were folded sloppily and were getting wrinkled. She quickly pulled them out and refolded them placing them back in their place. After finishing she looked around the room not knowing what to do. She knew she wouldn't be able to leave the room until his guest was gone and stood next to the bed waiting until she would be needed for something. 

She still didn't understand the words he had said to her last night, at least not completely. She was free. . but didn't understand why he was taking care of her if she was not his. No one cared unless they had to. She wondered if he was just being nice to her until he trained her properly for her new home. She didn't care, she would take what she could get. 'He said he wasn't my master though.' She thought. She decided not to think about it, whatever position she was in she couldn't change it. She would have to accept it and adapt. She only hoped that she would learn fast enough. Knowing if she didn't she would be sent away. 

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There is room enough for this furniture in my bedroom, said Haldir looking around the small study. All it contained was a desk and a shelf with some books and scrolls on it. 

Then it is settled. This shall become her room. Suvel smiled at him. Now let us go see the little one. She was unable to hide the eagerness from her voice. Haldir smiled and nodded.

She was still asleep when I left her Suvel. She needs her rest I will not wake her. Suvel looked at him with a motherly look. As if saying, 'if _you_ realize that_ I _already know.' Haldir smiled sheepishly and then motioned for her to go to the bedroom. As Suvel went to the bedroom he went to the basket and looked for some clothes for Zinnia to change into.

Zinnia's head snapped up when she heard the door being opened. She saw a tall female elf enter and frowned, dropping her gaze to the floor. Thoughts ran though her head trying to figure out who the female was. She had not been there the night before and she guessed that she was not a wife. Her master had no wife but women visited him regularly. She frowned when the elf walked over to her and kneeled down. 

Hello little one, said Suvel smiling. She was confused as to why the child was acting as she was. Her eyes were on the ground and wouldn't look up. "Hello." She knew a few words and phrases in common, but did not have the mastery that Haldir possessed. The child still gave no response. She reached out to place a hand on her head and saw the girl shrink back from the touch. She pulled her hand back and stood again. 

Perhaps you would like to go to breakfast little one? She tried to remember in westron but only one word came to mind. "Breakfast?" At this she did get a reaction. The girls shoulders drooped and her head lowered even more.

'She is here to punish me for not making breakfast' thought Zinnia as she slumped even more. She wanted to tell the elf in front of her that she had meant to but didn't wake up. Alar always woke her up. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of her brother. 'He would have liked it so much more.' She sniffed quietly waiting for her punishment to start. 'He should be here not me. He deserved this. He deserved to live among the elves. He wouldn't have messed up as much as I already have.' 

'I'm sorry Alar.' She hoped that her brother heard her wherever he was. 'I should have gotten you away faster, I should have known he was there. I shouldn't have fought him so you could get away. I should have told you to run and not screamed for your help.' Tears started rolling down her cheeks. She jumped back when the elf in front of her touched her lightly on the shoulder. 

Child. . why do you cry so? Suvel looked down concerned to the weeping human in front of her. She frowned even more when the girl jumped back from her touch. You are not frightened of us are you? Perhaps you would feel better after a bath? she questioned. "Bath?" The girl started trembling and backed up her eyes on the floor the entire time. She was shaking her head no. 

"Please. . I didn't mean to not make breakfast." The effort to hold back her sobs making her voice scratchy. "I'll do it tomorrow. Please. No." She kept backing up until she hit the dresser behind her and she slid down sitting pulling her knees close to her. 'Where is Haldir?' She thought and started rocking. "They said I was safe." 

"Zinnia, you are safe," said Haldir hearing her words as he entered the room and immediately dropping to her side. He pulled her to his embrace and held her tightly. She was trembling. 

I am sorry Haldir I did not mean to upset her. She was close to tears as well. 

It is alright Suvel. I should have warned you. He looked back to Zinnia and pulled her closer. Thank you for the supplies and advice. Both are most appreciated. Suvel nodded.

I will make sure that you have the weapon cabinet by the end of the day. Perhaps your brothers could help you move later. He nodded at her words and scooped Zinnia in his arms as he stood. 

Yes, if you see them could you please ask them to bring lunch here. I do not think that I will be able to leave before then. He said glancing to Zinnia.

Of course, I will also have someone send breakfast. Suvel looked to the child in his arms and smiled sadly before leaving. 

He looked around the room and noticed that not only was the bed made but also, all of the clothes that were normally thrown about on the floor were either folded neatly on the foot of his bed or in a single pile. He held her a little tighter when he realized that she probably thought that it was her duty to do such. Mentally he cursed himself. 'I should have known she would not have understood. She should not have woken up alone.' He kept petting her hair and whispering reassurances in both elvish and common until her trembles stopped.

"What has upset you little one?" He started rubbing her back as he walked to the main room and sat on a chair. He heard her hiccup and she pressed further into him. 

"I didn't mean to not make breakfast. Alar." There was another hitch in her breath. "Alar always wakes me up." 

"It is not your duty to make breakfast. Nor is it to fold my clothes and make the bed." 

"But. . I have to be useful." She looked up to him. "I have to be useful or I get sent away." Haldir smiled at her softly and wiped tears from her cheeks .

"You will not be sent away. You are under my care now, I would not discard you." He could tell that she was confused again. "Zinnia, you are no longer a slave. You do not have to take care of me. You are a child, as an adult I should be the one taking care of you." She looked at him like he had just told her that the sky was green and shook her head no.

"You have no reason to care for me. You say you are not my master. I . . I don't understand." 

"I do not have the words to explain it to you little one." She blinked and another tear fell down her face. He cupped her cheek and wiped it away with his thumb smiling softly at her. She sniffed and returned it hesitantly.

"If I am not to make the bed, or the laundry, nor breakfast what are my chores?" He saw something close to dread enter her eyes and briefly shut his eyes in pain. 

"We will share responsibilities," he said finally looking to her. "The cooking, washing, and cleaning. . we will decide how to split those chores later. When you are more settled in." 

"You also have your weapons." She added. 

"Those are not for you to touch," he said sternly. Her brows furrowed.

"I can clean them though. I was trained." 

"Be that as it may, you are no longer responsible for that chore." 

"Then. . . I will do the laundry and clean the floors. If that is alright." She looked back to him. 

"Ah, then I shall have to make sure everything else is clean." He added a small smile though she frowned slightly.

"I can help you." 

"Yes you can." He answered his smile growing some. "Now, Suvel was kind enough to bring you over some clothes and play things. We also have to ready your room." 

"My room?" she asked surprised.

"Yes." He said with a smile. His head turned when there was a knock on the door. He stood and took Zinnia with him holding her. He opened it and a male elf was there holding a tray of fruit, bread, and cheese. 

Good morning Haldir. Suvel sent me with breakfast for you and your new foster daughter. Haldir felt Zinnia tense and hug him tighter. In response he tightened his grip on her slightly to offer her more comfort and support. 

I appreciate it Kian. Haldir took the tray easily balancing it with one hand. Kian nodded back and left. Haldir closed the door with his foot and set the tray on the low table before sitting on the couch it sat in front of.

"Are you hungry Zinnia?" He pulled her off him and set her next to him on the couch. She shook her head yes and he smiled. "Then eat little one." She reached out and grabbed some cheese stuffing it in her mouth and grabbed another also putting it in her mouth. Her cheeks were puffed out and she reached for another. Haldir chuckled but stilled her hand. 

"Not so fast, you will upset your stomach." She tried to say something but only mumbles came out around the food in her mouth. "It is not polite to talk with food in your mouth." He said. She looked down to her hands and he sighed. He grabbed a piece of fruit and started eating it trying to decide what would happen next.

An hour later Haldir was trying to get her into one of the dresses that Suvel had brought her. He had successfully gotten her to take another bath after he had shown her how to lock the bathroom door. She had come out in his shirt and now would not change. She was refusing saying that they were too nice and that she would ruin them. He could tell that she was scared that she would get punished if she got it dirty. The argument was growing tedious and he had to resist the urge to just order her to wear it. 

"Zinnia, please just wear the dress. I promise you will not be in any trouble should it get dirty." She looked to him then the garment he had in his hand still hesitating. "You can not run around in my shirt for your stay here." 

"It's too pretty and it's new." She shook her head no refusing the dress. He looked down to the dress and sighed. It was a normal, plain dress. Nothing fancy and she resisted because it was finery to her. "I'll . . I'll be bad and it will get ruined." 

"It is your dress child. If it is ruined I will get you another. And if that one is ruined I will get you yet another." 

"I'll dirty it." He looked to her and then to the dress. 

"Will you wear the dress if it were already dirty?" She looked to him confused. "You would be responsible should it get dirty then." 

"But it's clean." He smiled and held out his hand. She looked to it then him and slowly grabbed it with her own small hand. He walked them out of his talan and down to the forest floor. He crouched down in front of her holding the dress. "What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"I am going to dirty the dress so you will wear it aier." He said as he was putting the dress to the ground.

"Don't do that!" She stopped his hand before the dress touched the ground. "The dress is worth money." 

"It is just a dress." 

"But. . it." She sighed as if annoyed. "It's worth a lot." She met his eyes with hers.

"It is worth nothing if it is not worn." 

"I've seen dresses like that before. At the market. They were worth more than I am. I can't wear it, it would be wrong." Haldir looked at her slightly shocked.

"No dress is worth more than you are." 

"I saw, it was five gold pieces. Master said he bought me for only three. I know that five is bigger than three. See this is three," she held up three fingers with one hand, "and this is five," she held up five fingers with the other. "There are more fingers on this hand." She said waving the one holding five. 

"You are not . . child you are worth more than any amount of money," he said trying to explain it to her.

"Nope, only three. But master said if I looked anything like my mom I would be worth a lot more when I got older." Haldir closed his eyes sickened at the way this poor girl had been treated. "You should sell it." 

"It was made specifically for you Zinnia. It is yours." She looked at him confused. 

"Then sell it and I can pay for my breakfast." 

"You do not have to pay for your breakfast child." He rubbed a hand down his face having no idea how to make her understand. 

"I can't pay for it any other way though." 

"You do not have to pay for your food Zinnia." He looked to her plainly trying to figure out a way to get her to cooperate. 

"I have to earn my keep. You said that I didn't have as many chores as I should so I have to make up for it." 

"No, child you do not." She only looked to him not budging at all. "Please, wear the dress. You will not be punished for that." 

"But. . if I ruin it. . I can't pay back that much money." 

"You will not have to. It is yours. It was given as a gift from Lady Galadriel. Would you refuse her hospitality?" he asked with a small smile. She seemed to hesitate slightly. 

"I. . don't want to upset her." 

"Then wear the dress little one." He held it out to her. Again she hesitated and seemed to be debating something in her mind. He smiled as she reached out and took the dress from him. 

As they climbed the steps to the telain Zinnia tried to think a way out of wearing the dress. Something that would keep her from getting into trouble, something to keep her from getting punished. She still didn't understand why they would allow her to wear a dress of such richness. She looked up to Haldir but he only smiled down at her. She wanted to return it but her gaze went to the dress in her hand. He led her to the bathroom and let her go in. 

"I'll be right out here if you need anything," he said with another smile as he shut the door. After a moment she went to it and locked it like he had shown her earlier. She held the dress up and sighed as she lowered her arms down. There was no way out of wearing the dress. If the bright lady wanted her to wear it she had to. Slowly she took off the clothing she was wearing and dropped it to the ground before putting the dress on. 

Zinnia looked down at her self and frowned. The dress was too expensive for her. She shouldn't be allowed to wear something so nice. Though she had to admit that the material felt good on her skin. It was smooth and soft, so unlike what she normally wore. Sighing she folded the shirt that Haldir had given her. She knew already that she was going to ruin the dress beyond repair. And she knew that she was going to get punished. 

She remembered dropping something of her master's once. A single tankard of ale, and that had only cost a silver piece. He hurt her really bad that night. So bad she couldn't really remember the next couple of days. The elves had treated her nice though. . so far. There was a soft knock at the door and she jumped slightly. 

"Zinnia do you need any help?" asked Haldir. She looked to the door and frowned. She still didn't understand him. He was going to dirty the dress simply so she could wear it. She shook her head at the absurdity of it. She knew what she was worth, and it was a lot less than the dress she was wearing. 

"No. ." her mind spun to try and figure out what to call him. He had said that he wasn't her master. . but that had to be a lie. The only one that had ever fed her was her master, the only one that had ever given her clothing was her master, the only one that had ever let her sleep under a roof was her master. Tears formed again as she closed her eyes. She wasn't free. . she would never be free. She was a slave, and would always be that. Haldir had been nice to her, she decided she should be happy for that at least. Her head lowered in defeat. "No master." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aier = little/small/short one

A/N: I had a lovely person point out that I had Haldir saying 'okay' in the last chapter. That is a big DUH on my part. I try to stay away from elves speaking in a more modern type of English. If you find anything else that really bothers you please let me know. If I agree with it I will probably change it. 


	9. Childish Reasoning

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: I am sorry. Sorry sorry! My life has blown big baboon. . well you can guess the last b word of that sentence. I graduated college. . found a job . . go me . . got canned from said job because of layoffs . . boooo hiss booo. Between that time I've had to move twice. Once to the city where my job was once back to my parent's because I could no longer afford it! Blah! 

I feel like such a jerky bastard for not writing this story but I have been doing other stuff. Trust me when I say that this story has been on my mind and I haven't been 100 percent neglecting it. This week is actually the first week I have had steady access to a computer for anything besides work. I also have access to my cable modem again. . happy sigh.

All of you must really hate me for not updating this story as often as I should have been. I know that severely bothers me when authors don't update, and all I can offer is my eternal sorrow and shame. I'd give you my address so you could come kick my ass but I know that one of you would take me up on the offer. I have to thank all of you for your support and yelling at me. It makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. 

Now this chapter is really short and I apologize for that too but I wanted to put something up to explain and keep you from making voodoo dolls or something. Know that I am working on this now between looking for a real career job and my money making job. I am spending most of my free time on this. Well that and crying over my Two Towers DVD. I should just stop watching that scene thinking that someone is going to save him like it should be! Elves aren't at helm's deep!! Sigh, you'd think I'd write a fixit for that huge, terrible mistake instead of the story I am doing now. Perhaps later ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HALDIR LIVES!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9: Childish Reasoning

Haldir was relieved when she finally agreed to wear the dress. She seemed hesitant when he put her in the bathroom but shortly he heard the sound of the door lock. It was only a few moments more when he heard the rustling of fabric. He waited patiently until no sounds came from the opposite side of the door he was standing near. 

"Zinnia, do you need any help?" He asked thinking that she was having trouble with the dress. There was slight hesitation.

"No.." It sounded like she wanted to say more but trailed off. Then he heard a soft sigh. "No Master." He went rigid at those two words. 

"Zinnia." He said sadly. "Zinnia, please come out here if you are dressed." Slowly he heard her move and walk to the door unlocking it. It swung open and she was there in the dress holding the shirt, which was neatly folded. She wouldn't look up to him. He lowered himself down so he would be eye-level with her. 

"Look at me aier." She looked up and he saw that her eyes held tears and he sighed again. "I am not your master. You are no longer a slave. You are free, you are your own master." 

"Master feeds their slaves, Master clothes their slaves, Master gives them shelter." She looked away from him. "You have done so for me, you are my Master." 

"Little one, I am not." He reached and took the shirt from her and held out his hand again. She hesitated but took it following him back out into the main room. He moved and motioned for her to sit on a chair and she did. "I am not your master." He said looking to her. "No one here will be your master." She looked up and then back down to her hands she had put in her lap. "I wish to be your. . your caregiver." 

"My Master." 

"Why do you think that?" 

"Master cares for his slaves as he sees fit." 

"Do you not know of other relationships? What of your parents?" She seemed to lower even more.

"My mom was a slave and we had to leave when her Master couldn't pay some money. Mom tried to keep us but they hit her until she stopped moving, then took us away anyway. I don't know who my father is." She sighed and seemed to fidget. "It doesn't matter. Slaves don't have parents they have Masters." 

"What if I do not wish to be your master?" She looked up to him then back down to her lap. 

"Then you will sell me and I will be someone else's slave." She shrugged slightly. "I'm sorry that I'm not good enough. Alar would have been. He was always good, always. Never spilled or dropped anything. He learned real fast and remembered everything." Her voice got quiet and he saw that she was rubbing the material of the dress between her fingers absently. "But he's dead now." Her voice was bitter. 

"I am sorry that we could not help your brother more. It was the Valar's will that he pass, none could have stopped it." She looked to him and he saw anger in her eyes. 

"I could have, but I was too scared. I shouldn't' have yelled for him to help me. I should have let him run, he wouldn't have gotten hurt and. . and he might be here instead of me. Master never cared for Alar." 

"He cared for you?" asked Haldir remembering the marks on her body. 

"He . . watched for me. He wanted me close. If I would have stayed and made Alar leave he might not have cared. But I ran with Alar, ran and he chased us. And it was because of me." She looked away and down to the floor. "I need to start my chores Master. If. . if you want to keep me." 

"Zinnia, you do not understand but know that no matter what, you will not be treated as you were by any here. I am not your master but hope to be your friend." She didn't look up. "Your only chores today will be to help me move some items from one room to another." She made no response except to stand and wait with her head bowed and hands to her side. 

By the time Haldir's brothers came for lunch they had everything except the furniture moved and cleaned in his spare room. She would only answer questions directly asked to her and would always use as little words as she could. He was starting to get frustrated not being able to help her. When they sat down for lunch she started serving them. 

"Zinnia, sit." He said took the tray of food from her and set it on the table. She frowned but did as he told her to. 

You are giving up your study? Rúmil grinned knowing that Haldir valued his space. Haldir looked to him and sighed. 

She needs a room, it wills suffice. 

She does not seem happy. Orophin looked to Zinnia. Her head was bowed and she was eating slowly. 

I do not know how to help her. She. . is confused, grieving, and scared I would imagine. He sighed. It took me an hour to get her into the dress, she says it is worth more than she is. The brothers were quiet. Now she thinks I am her master and nothing I say will convince her otherwise. 

She will learn given time. Once she knows she will not be treated like she has been. Rúmil took a sip of his wine. 

I am not so sure, said Haldir with a sigh. They watched as she stood and took the wine bottle going to pour more in Haldir's cup. "Zinnia, please. . sit and enjoy your meal." He took the wine bottle from her but she hesitated. 

"Do you wish for anything else Master?" He saw how tense she was and wondered at it. "Please do not call me such aier." He tilted her head up but she averted her eyes from his. "Haldir will suffice." He smiled at her but she kept her eyes from his. "Finish your food aier." She moved back over and sat in the chair keeping her head down the entire time. 

Maybe she would understand should another care for her a while. She may think that since she has not left you that you are her master. Orophin took another piece of bread. 

Suvel would watch her while we are moving in the furniture. Rúmil grinned. You know how she is with children. 

She may not understand the separation though. Already she thinks I will sell her to another. She started fidgeting again and Haldir looked to her. "Aier perhaps you would rather play instead of sit with us." Her hands twisted in her dress again. "The toys are in the bedroom." He watched as she walked off with a frown and thoughtful stare. 

Zinnia went right to the bedroom and sat on the floor. 'Play.' She thought with a frown. Looking over she saw the basket on the floor and stared at the contents. There were more dresses in it, a dark blue and a light green. She pulled the material of the one she was wearing now and looked at it closer. The light purple seemed to change colors almost. 

"Play." she said again this time out loud under her breath. She pulled the doll out of the basket and looked at it. Her fingers played over the small pointed ears and then she dropped it back in the basket. She really didn't understand the concept and looked around the room for something to do instead. Smiling she picked up all of the laundry in her arms but then hesitated. She sighed and dropped the pile when she realized she had no idea where to wash them. 

'I'll wait for Master to tell me what to do.' She thought with a firm nod and went to sit on the bed. She put her foot on the bottom bar and pushed herself up but froze horrified when she heard a distinct ripping sound. Shaking she went back to the floor and looked down. Her foot had caught her dress on the frame of the bed and a hole had ripped along the hem. A strangled sound left her throat and she looked to the door that was shut almost all the way. The voices hadn't stopped and she let out her breath. 

'I'll fix it. I'll fix it and he won't know.' She thought desperately starting to go through drawers looking for a needle and thread. Her agitation grew when she found nothing that would allow her to fix the dress. The fear only intensified as she tried to think of a way to hide the fact that she had ruined the dress from Haldir. 

'He'll get mad. He'll get real mad. I tried to tell him!' She screamed mentally. 'I told him. . I told him I would ruin the dress.' Her hands clutched the material until her knuckles were white. She bit her lip and walked over to the door looking out the crack into the main area. All three were still there talking and she moved back to the bed pacing the room. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she put her palms to them to stop. 'He'll get even angrier if I cry.' She looked back to the door.

'I can't fix it. . change. I'll change dresses.' She moved back to the basket and pulled another out but then frowned. He would know something was wrong if she changed. 'What will I say when he asks why I'm wearing a different one?' She thought. She bit her lip again and threw the dress back in the basket backing away from the door. Her back hit the wall and she slid down pulling her knees to her chest. 

'I told him. I told him.' She pulled her knees tighter keeping her gaze on the door to the bedroom waiting for him to return. Waiting for the punishment that she thought she deserved.

Perhaps you should give her to another. 

What? asked Rúmil surprised at Orophin's suggestion. Haldir's own surprised registered on his face as well.

You have already given up your position as march warden. Why bother yourself. There are others that are betters suited to caring for her. Continued Orophin. You found her it is not your responsibility to care for her. 

Nay brother. She trusts me, giving her to someone else now will only strengthen her convictions. Besides I promised that I would care for her. 

She is not a pet. 

I am not treating her as such Orophin. Haldir started to anger at his brother's words. 

Orophin where is this coming from? asked Rúmil. 

I just do not see why Haldir should give up his commission after all it took him to earn such a title. Especially over a damaged human child. Orophin shrugged. Leave her to another, it is not your concern. 

It is my concern Orophin. I will not give her away simply because she is confused. Haldir's resolution firmed.

She is more than confused Haldir. Do you really wish to have to deal with her problems? She is not even of our kind. Most likely she will be dead before you even realize it. You will become too attached. She is not yours, not your daughter, not your responsibility. 

That is enough Orophin! Haldir stood annoyed. If you disagree with my decision that is regrettable, but acceptable. I will take care of this child to the best of my abilities. I do not care that she is human, I do not care that she is mortal. Above everything she is an innocent. She does not deserve what she has lived through so far. I aim to make sure that it does not repeat itself. 

Perhaps we should go see if the furniture is ready Orophin. Rúmil stood his eyes narrowing at his brother and Orophin sighed. 

Very well, said Orophin standing. I am simply making sure that you understand this brother, not condemning her or you for your decision. I do believe you mean the best but is that going to be enough to help her? Haldir didn't have an answer to that question. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia jumped when she heard the raised voices from the main room. 'He's already angry.' She whimpered slightly at the thought and pulled her knees closer. Haldir was much bigger than her old master and she knew that when he hit her it was going to hurt a lot more. "Alar, I'm scared," she said quietly to herself. Her eyes went to the door waiting for Haldir. The trembles in her small frame only increased as the time went by. 

'Maybe. . maybe he'll hit me hard enough to let me join Alar.' She thought with a shred of hope. She stilled and held her breath trying to hear his footsteps. No sound reached her and she let out her breath in a rush. 'Yes, I should anger him enough. . and then I'll be with Alar.' She stood slowly still trying to listen for him. 

She went over to the bed and messed up the blankets throwing the pillows on the ground before turning her attention elsewhere. As quietly as she could she opened all of the drawers and threw the clothes around the room. When she was done she looked around and frowned thinking of how much time she was going to have to spend picking it up. 

'I won't pick it up.' She thought angrily. 'I'll either be with Alar or in too much pain.' Her eyes landed on the weapons on the shelf and she remembered how angry he got when she said she would clean them. A smile grew on her face as she went to the shelf standing on her tiptoes to reach the tip of the dagger she could see hanging over the edge. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whew! That took much longer than it should have. Again thank you for all of your comments. Know that I do read them even though I don't respond to them all individually. The corrections about the grammar and stuff. . I know I haven't fixed them yet. I will! Keep them coming if you see any more. I **will** get to it. . just give me some time. Until then I hope it doesn't bother you too much. 


	10. Grief

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 10: Grief

Haldir sighed and sat back down in the chair as his brother's left. As much as he hated to admit it Orophin was right. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to help the poor girl or not. He closed his eyes his mind reviewing the scars and bruises that covered her skin and shuddered slightly. 'Patience. . just have patience.' He told himself. Though the doubts still gnawed at him. 

His only experience with children was when his brothers were smaller than he was. Even that was long, long ago and another was there for the parental duties. He only helped; he had never been responsible for a young life. At least not a life as young as the girl currently in the other room. The only ones he was responsible for were the soldiers under him, but all of them were trained and capable on their own. Zinnia was obviously not. 

Thinking over everything he did not know what to change in his treatment of her. She steadfastly refused to believe that she was anything other than a slave. 'How am I to change her mind?' He thought sadly looking back to the bedroom door. He heard movement though it was muffled and sighed again. The truth was he had no experience with this situation. 'The lady believes I can handle this child. She would have spoken at the dinner otherwise.' 

He stood and cleared away the final dishes remaining, putting them on the tray to take back to the kitchens. 'Perhaps she would care for a walk.' He thought with a smile. 'Regardless she will go with me.' Deciding on his course of action he went back to retrieve the child. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Stupid knife.' She thought as she stretched a little more. Her fingers still just bumping the bit of blade available to her. 'It would be so much easier if I was just a little taller. Or if I had Alar to help me.' Sadness washed over her remembering her brother and she gritted her teeth. 'I'll be with you soon and then we can run in the fields again. You liked that.' She sighed and pulled her hand up on the shelf to pull herself up just a little more. 

"Come on!" She was getting annoyed, her fingers sliding over the cool metal of the blade. The knife spun as she tried to grab it and she let out a frustrated sound. The knife stilled and she grinned triumphantly when the handle moved even more over the edge for her to grab. 

What in Arda are you doing! She jumped violently at the voice hitting the bookcase and causing the blade to teeter dangerously above her. Before she could say anything he pulled her to him forcibly a hiss of air escaping him. She heard a loud 'thunk' before she was put on the bed Haldir still holding on to her forearms. "Are you hurt?" His hands moved over her arms as if looking for an injury. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the large gash on his forearm from where the knife had cut him. "Are you injured aier?," he asked urgently feeling her start to shake. She only looked to him her eyes wide and filled with fear. 

"What were you trying to accomplish?," he asked forcibly his shock and fear turning into anger. "Were you trying to hurt yourself? I told you not to touch the weapons!" He stood and went over to the dagger pulling it out of the floor. "Tell me why you endangered yourself." He had no idea how intimidating he was standing there anger in his eyes and a knife in his hand. Even if the anger was mostly directed at himself for leaving her unsupervised, and the knife in his hand harmless to everyone in that room. 

"Answer me Zinnia." His voice was calm but his eyes anything but. "You could have been seriously hurt." She only kept staring at him and blinked. He looked around the room and saw it a mess before looking back to the child on his bed. "Tell me your reasoning for this." He gestured to the room before putting the knife back on the stand seemingly noticing his wound for the first time. He frowned when he realized it would need stitches. 

"Answer me," he said again walking to Zinnia. She flinched as he walked forward but then held her head up closing her eyes. He stood still watching her. Seeing her prepare for the strike that she obviously thought she was going to get. He frowned even more realizing he had scared her. "I will not hit you." He ran his fingertips across her cheek in a gentle touch. 

"You have to!" She jerked away from him. 

"I will not.". 

"no. No. NO!" She shouted at him. "You have to! I was bad and. . and I ripped my dress and then touched the knife. You have to hit me for it to work!" She looked at him her eyes radiating anger.

"For what to work?" 

"So I can go with Alar!," she screamed. "You have to hit me because I angered you. I did enough to anger you I saw it. You have to hit me, and then maybe you'll hit me enough that I can go with Alar." Haldir bowed his head closing his eyes at her reasoning. 

"That will not happen."

"Fine," she said moving across the bed before he could stop her. "What else do I have to do?" She grabbed one of the tunics and threw it out of the open window. "What else do I have to break? I made you hurt yourself that has to be enough!" She stomped her foot in a childish display of temper. 

"Calm aier." 

"NO! I want to go with Alar!" She immediately broke down crying and he went to her. "Don't!" She backed away from his outstretched hand. He stilled and looked to her not knowing what to do. Seeing his hesitation she backed up against the wall then slid to the floor pulling her knees to her chest still sobbing. 

"Zinnia. . . I do not know how to help you," he said moving down so he was sitting in front of her.

"Let me go with Alar!," she screamed at him. "You were the one that took me away from him. You were the one that made me leave him!" He reflexively leaned back when she jumped forward and started hitting him on his chest. Gently grabbing her arms he held her letting her struggle but not allowing her to hit him. "He never did anything bad, why did he go away?" 

"Is that what you think?," asked Haldir softly her struggles lessening. "He did nothing bad aier. He was not being punished." 

"Master punished him because of me. Because I was bad. I killed him." She started struggling against him again but he pulled her closer still giving room for her to pull away should she wish it. 

"You did not. You had no fault in your brother's death. You could not have stopped it. It was not of your doing." 

"I was supposed to watch him. I was supposed to protect him. I failed, I failed." 

"You could not have done anything else." He pulled her closer. She went with him and moved on his lap curling her hands around his tunic and pressing her face into his chest. "You are but a child aier. Do not blame yourself. You did no wrong. You have done no wrong." He let her go only to move his arms around her in a proper embrace. "None of your actions led to the death of your brother. You did not cause it, you did not make it happen." He started rocking her softly as her sobs started to die down. 

"I want my brother. I want him back. Can we go get him?" Haldir closed his eyes and moved his hand up to her head his fingers starting to sift through her hair. 

"He can not come back Zinnia. Alar is dead, he will not return." 

"He's with the stars. Why can't he come back? I miss him and I'll be really good if we can go get him. I promise." 

"His body has stopped working aier." Haldir started rubbing circles on his back careful not to use too much pressure on her wounds. "There is no way for him to return, and nothing that can help him to do so." 

"No. . no I want him back he has to come back to me." She started to struggle with him again. He loosened his grip on her so she could move away from him if she wanted. "Please, I'll be good." She looked up to him her tears spilling down her cheeks. Her eyes were filled with such pain and desperate hope that he felt his own tears falling. 

"If I had that power I would. I do not, none does. Your brother is gone. He can not come back. Nothing can make him return." He wiped the tears from her cheeks more falling to replace them. "Aier you must understand that you being good or bad has no bearing on the matter. He will never return. Alar is dead. Death is permanent, it is final for mortals." 

"You're lying!," she screeched and tried to hit him again. 

"I am not," he said holding her hands. "I would never lie to you. That I can give you aier. I promise to never tell you anything but truth." 

"I don't care. I don't care. I want my brother." She started crying again and went limp in his arms. 

"I can not give him back to you." He pulled her closer to him resting his forehead on the top of her head closing his eyes. "How I wish I could aier." She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck trying to get even closer. He moved to pick her up and winced as he put pressure on his cut. Looking down and saw it was still bleeding, a large patch of his sleeve already soaked. 

"Do you." She hiccuped unable to speak. "Do you hate me now?" 

"No," he said automatically. "Never." 

"But . . but the clothes. And . . and I made you get cut." She was still trying to steady her breathing and he pulled her back to look at her. 

"Zinnia, I will admit that your behavior has me worried. Worried for you. You could have been seriously injured. It is why I did not wish for you to touch my weapons. They are dangerous, much too dangerous to be handled without training." He brushed some hair out of her face. "It is your behavior not you that brought my anger." 

"I wanted to make you angry." He sighed knowing her reasons.

"Yes," he said. "Though the anger you provoked was at myself not at you. I should not have left you alone as of yet." He adjusted his grip on her and stood in a fluid motion. "We must go to the healers." 

"I'm sorry you got hurt," she said sniffing slightly. 

"I know such aier. In the future you must think of these things. All of your actions have consequences. Had I not pulled you away you could have been seriously injured." He smiled gently at her as she looked to him. "You must be mindful of your choices." 

"How can you not be mad at me?," she asked confused resting her head on his shoulder as he started to walk. 

"I understand things that perhaps you can not grasp yet. You are young, you must learn how to behave." 'Unfortunately you have learned the wrong way.' He thought. 

"You didn't teach me," she said quietly. "You need to hit me so I can learn." He grimaced hearing that thought from her, knowing she believed it as truth. 

"No child should ever be struck out of anger or anything else. Violence does not help one to learn, it helps one to fear." 

"To learn to do the right thing so you won't be in pain for doing the wrong thing." 

"It does not help you to learn and understand why it is the right thing aier. It only makes you fear doing the wrong thing." She didn't say anything but he felt her hands tighten on the material of his tunic. By the time he reached the healers her tears had mostly stopped though she was still sniffing occasionally. He nodded to the few elves he passed but didn't stop feeling the child tense every time she saw someone new. 

Haldir what has happened?, asked Garan concerned when he saw the blood on Haldir's tunic. Is the child hurt? There was some blood on Zinnia's dress to from where his wound had rubbed against her.

No. She is fine, he said with a sigh moving her to the side slightly. She was still clinging to him tightly. An unfortunate accident. I believe that it will need stitches. Garan took a step closer and moved the fabric off of Haldir's cut. Zinnia whimpered and tried to move away from him tightening her grip on Haldir. Garan looked to Haldir questioningly. He only shook his head not wanting to discuss the situation at the moment. 

It will. Please sit I will return with the necessary supplies to treat you. 

Thank you Garan. The healer only nodded and left. "Why are you frightened Zinnia?" Haldir's voice was calm and even. He sat in a chair and tried to pull her back but she clutched tighter to him.

"You're going to send me to jail now." Her tone was defeated. 

"Why would you say that?" He settled her next to him away from his arm so she could stay on him yet give Garan room to work when he returned. 

"Because I hurt you." She sniffed. "I made the knife fall and you got hurt. For a slave to draw a master's blood is. . they get sent to jail and never come back." She looked up to him. "I want to stay with you." He smiled at her and pulled her closer. 

"Then you will." He smiled more when she moved and put her head on his shoulder her breath against his neck. "Know that you will not be sent to jail here. It was an accident, you did not intentionally mean to harm anyone did you?" 

"No," she said. "I just wanted to touch it and make you angry." 

"Please do not do so again." She pulled back and looked at him. "Rules are made to protect children. To keep them safe from dangers they may not realize. You must follow them if you wish to be so." She closed her eyes and lowered her head. "I told you not to touch the weapons for your safety, not to be mean. Do you understand that?" 

"I don't know," she responded. "If they are so bad why did I have to clean them before?" Haldir bit his tongue to hold back his instinctive response. 'Because the sorry excuse of a human that was responsible for you before should not be living.' She looked up to him when he didn't answer her. 

"It was wrong for such a task to fall to you." Was what he settled on. 

"Why?" Her tone full of confusion. "I was trained how to do it." 

"You are a child," he said. "Children should have no use for weapons, even if it be only cleaning them." She was about to say something but closed her mouth when Garan returned. The healer smiled at the child but she hid her face in Haldir's chest and he wrapped his arm around her. "Do not be frightened. He is a healer, he helps others." 

Is she fearful of me? he asked as he took a pair of scissors and cut open Haldir's sleeve to expose the wound. 

She is fearful of all. Haldir's hand went to her hair stroking it in an unconscious display of comfort.

Ah, said the healer with a small smile seeing the haughty march warden caring for the small girl. She seems to find comfort in you. 

At times. Haldir tensed when Garan applied some antiseptic numbing agent. 

"I'm sorry," whispered Zinnia feeling his reaction. 

"You are forgiven," said Haldir putting his head on hers for a moment before sitting straight again. 

You may wish to tell her to be very still while I am doing the actual stitching, said Garan pulling out the needle and thread. 

"What's he doing? Is he going to fix my dress?" Haldir chuckled slightly at the question. 

"No aier he is going to close my wound." 

"What?," she asked alarmed. "You can't let him do that." She looked to Garan and glared slightly. 

"He must," said Haldir turning her head to him. "It helps the wound heal faster and allows it to be cleaner." 

"But it will hurt you," she said blinking at him. "You should just wrap it real tight, that is how you treat cuts." 

"Not all cuts." He wiped the last of her tears away. "Garan is a skilled and experienced healer. He knows his trade and should be trusted in that knowledge. Now we must be very still while he works so we do not disrupt him. Can we do that?" She nodded slowly.

"Yes." He smiled at her.

"Very good aier." He looked to Garan who was ready but waiting for him to tell him to proceed. "Perhaps you should not watch." She shook her head and put her head on his shoulder again looking away from Garan and Haldir's wound. 

"You can squeeze my hand if it hurts," she said moving her hand down to his. "I let Alar when he gets hurt." He took her hand gently. 

"I thank you." Haldir looked to Garan and nodded letting the healer know that it was fine for him to begin. 

"Do you want me to sing you a song or tell you a story?," she asked wrapping her hand around his fingers. "Alar always wants a story with elves." 

"I would appreciate a song." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Yours were rather entertaining." 

"I know one about trees." She pressed against his shoulder slightly before relaxing again. 

"Then let us hear it." He smiled as she started singing looking up to see Garan smiling as well. Garan worked fast and was done with Haldir's wound by Zinnia's second song. He wrapped it with a bandage as Zinnia watched. Haldir was also able to talk Zinnia into letting Garan see her back, though she held onto his hand the entire time. She was wrapping her foot in some bandages as Garan pulled Haldir to the side to talk. 

Her back is healing. His voice was slightly tight and Haldir knew he was trying to hold his emotions back and focus on his duties. The bruises and marks will be gone within days, the cuts a week if you keep applying the salve. He handed Haldir a large jar of it. Once a day, preferably at night before sleep. Haldir nodded and took it. I had heard that you had taken in a human child, He said in a sigh. Though I did not know she had been so roughly treated. 

We found her and her brother, though he was mortally wounded. Haldir looked to the child who had now wrapped most of her leg a look of intense concentration on her face. May I take some bandages with me? It seems it is all she will play with. The dolls Suvel brought have gone untouched. 

Yes, take what you will, said Garan. 

A/N: If you want to see the song that I imagined Zinnia singing to Haldir go to the link in my bio. For some reason I couldn't get it to link right here. Sorry! Again thank you for all of the wonderful reviews. They make me smile! The next part will have the master introduced. So keep checking I should update soon, hopefully by the end of the week.


	11. Reunions

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 11: Reunions

Orophin watched as Haldir carried Zinnia back to his telain. News of his brother walking to the healers with the child had spread easily as all news did in an elvin city. He frowned seeing the blood on Haldir's shirt and the bandage around his arm, knowing that the girl had caused it somehow. Haldir would never hurt himself, especially in his own home. The girl laughed at something Haldir whispered into her ear and put her head on his shoulder wrapping her arms around him. 

Brother all is well? He stood as they climbed the steps and Haldir raised an eyebrow at him.

Yes, an accident. Was all Haldir said as he set the child back down on the stairs. 

This as well? asked Orophin holding up Haldir's tunic he had found hanging off a tree branch. It looked like it had been thrown from the window. 

Yes, said Haldir taking the clothing from him. Zinnia's small hand gripped his tighter and he looked down smiling at her to reassure her. What is the status of the weapons cabinet? Orophin looked to the girl and then back to Haldir.

The furniture is done, they await someone to pick it up. Orophin looked to the bandage on his brother's arm and Haldir sighed. Something she did. 

She knows no better Orophin. Haldir walked past him taking Zinnia with him. Zinnia looked to Orophin and gave a small smile that he did not return. Instead he looked to the retreating form of Haldir and frowned. 

Perhaps it would be better if Suvel took charge of her, said Orophin. 

Suvel does not know common. 

Then find another who does. Orophin followed them into the home.

I will not hear of this, I have made my decision brother. She is in my care until she no longer needs it, said Haldir his tone getting annoyed. Zinnia looked up to him and he smiled at her. "Aier you must sit right here and do not move." He picked her up and sat her on the chair putting the bandages he carried in her lap. "I will retrieve your dolls for you but do not move from the chair." She nodded and started pulling out the bandages. If you wish to argue do not do so in front of her. Haldir looked to Orophin with an angry glint in his eyes though his tone was light. Orophin sighed and followed him back to the bedroom.

At least tell me what happened to make you receive your injury. 

She is confused and grieving for her brother Orophin, said Haldir angrily going into his room. 

What happened here? asked Orophin seeing the mess.

She thought if she angered me enough I would hit her. The fact that I didn't had her very upset, she had hoped I would kill her. Haldir pulled off his tunic and shirt pulling a random replacement from the ground.

What? asked Orophin shocked as Haldir pulled the shirt over his head.

Yes, she had hoped I would hit her enough to send her with Alar. I believe those were her words. Haldir went over the basket Suvel had dropped off and looked for the dolls. 

And your wound? 

She knew I would get angry if she touched the weapons. It was my fault really. I should have made sure they were away from the edge. It would have fallen on her and probably injured her severely. I pulled her out of the way in time. It is nothing more than a scratch. He sighed and stood the two small dolls in his hand. Orophin I do not know why you have had such a sudden change of heart but I can not abandon her. Not now, the Lady thinks I can help this child and I am going to. 

It is not your duty Haldir. Orophin walked over and took the dolls from him. What do you know of raising a child? 

What do any first time parents? He took the dolls back and sighed. Orophin, you are my brother. I respect your opinion, but I will not follow it this time. Orophin watched as Haldir left the room and frowned before following him again. 

I am not saying to abandon her completely. Visit her yes, just do not become her primary care giver. 

And why should I not? asked Haldir handing the dolls to Zinnia with a smile. She took them confused and tossed them to the side returning to the bandages wrapped around her arm. 

Haldir I am only concerned for what this will bring. 

Tell me of your concerns for I do not understand them. Haldir sat in the couch across from the chair Zinnia was sitting in and Orophin sat next to him. 

She will bring change Haldir. A. . a very profound change, I sense it. 

Is that necessarily a negative? 

It is not necessarily a positive. Haldir sighed and looked to Orophin. 

I think it will be. He looked back to Zinnia. I know it will be. Something tells me to watch her Orophin. To keep her close and protect her. I have never denied my instincts in the past and I will not do so now. 

And what will happen with she has another misunderstanding? What if next time one of you is injured more severely?

That will not happen, said Haldir darkly. I was at fault not her. I should not have left her alone as of yet. It was foolish of me. Zinnia stopped wrapping herself with the bandages and looked up to Haldir when he spoke. She didn't comprehend his words but his tone was enough to draw her attention. 

"What are you doing aier?," he asked to change her focus. 

"I'm practicing," she said slightly hesitant. "Do you want me to get anything for you?" 

"No," he said with a smile. 

"Oh." She sighed and started pulling the bandages from herself. "Do you want me to sit on Orophin's lap?" She didn't look up to him only kept pulling off the bandages.

"Do you wish to?" 

"No, but if you owe him money I can." 

"Why do you believe I owe him money?" 

"He was here when we came back, and he's arguing with you following you around. People only do that if one owes the other money. And if you can't pay I can sit on his lap until he tells me to go away." She set the bandages on the chair and slid off it standing. 

"No, no you do not. . . he." Haldir looked to her questioning gaze and resisted putting his fingers on his temples feeling a very rare but very strong headache forming. "I do not owe him money, and you are not to touch or allow any to touch you unless you wish it." 

"He won't be mad anymore then." She took another step towards Orophin. 

"Zinnia." She looked to him at the commanding tone. "That is wrong. That kind of touch is wrong." She bit her lip and looked down. "You are not wrong, do not think that, never think that. Those that touched in that manner are wrong." 

"Why? I. . I was told to do it." She looked up to him slowly.

"And there was no way for you to stop it," he said calmly. "You can stop it now. Your body is yours aier, you no longer have to let anyone touch you or hurt you." He wanted to reach out to her but held back. 

"How?" 

"Tell them not to touch you in that way, that it makes you feel bad . . or confused." She looked to him and then Orophin who was watching the exchange between them quietly. 

"Then why is he mad?" 

"We are having a discussion on a matter we disagree on. He is not mad, we are not arguing." She tilted her head slightly, processing new information. 

"Okay." She turned back to the chair and grabbed the bandages. "Can I practice on you now?"

"Yes," he said with a small grin. She sat down at his feet and started pulling one of his boots off. 

What is she doing? asked Orophin amused. 

She wishes to bandage me now, said Haldir smiling and holding his foot up so she could pull the shoe off easier. She will be a large responsibility. Larger than any I have ever had before. You are right I will not be able to help her. Orophin looked up from Zinnia inspecting Haldir's foot and to Haldir's eyes. I will not be able to help her alone. I could use your help. 

You will have it. Haldir smiled at him and put his hand on Orophin's shoulder. 

You could start by helping me with the furniture. 

Why is it that anytime you ask for help it requires Rúmil or I to perform some kind of heavy lifting. Haldir's smile only grew. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Zinnia, I must go. Suvel will take care of you. It is only for an hour at most." Zinnia gripped onto his hand tighter.

"No." 

"Aier, we must retrieve your furniture." 

"I can help." 

"And what could you do?" he asked with a small smile. 

"I. . I could. . make sure you don't trip on anything." 

"A very worthy job when carrying heavy items." She nodded her head at his comment. "Though if you were doing that who would pick the colors for your sheets?" She bit her lip thinking. 

"I don't know." 

"That job is just as important. If I have you as well as Orophin and Rúmil to help me, I will have none for that. I was hoping that you would help me by picking the colors of the sheets for your bed." He still saw her hesitation. "When I return you can show me what you have chosen, it will be a surprise for me." She looked to him and her grip slackened some. "I will return to you." 

"Promise?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, I promise you I will return to collect you and then we will have dinner." He pulled away from her slightly and she let him go. "I told you I will not lie to you." 

"I remember." He smiled at her and she returned it. 

Do not fret child, I will make sure he comes back to you without much injury, said Orophin with a flourished bow to her. He stood and grinned pulling a flower he had hidden behind him. May I place it in your hair little one? She grinned at him and reached for the flower. 

"Aier I believe he wishes to repay you for the wonderful hair decorations you gave him on our walk to the city." She looked from Haldir and then back to Orophin's smiling face. Smiling she stepped forward waiting for Orophin to move. 

There, do not allow Suvel to boss you too much, he said with a grin placing the flower behind her ear.

Be gone you elflings, said Suvel with a small laugh. We will have her proper bedding when you return. Haldir and Orophin laughed and bowed before leaving. Come little one, we have many things to do before they return. Zinnia looked to her at the familiar word but didn't take her outstretched hand. Suvel only smiled and dropped it. Will you follow me? She walked down the path and though Zinnia looked back for Haldir she slowly walked forward following Suvel. He will come back to you. 

"You are very pretty." Suvel looked at the girl and grinned recognizing the word 'pretty.'

"Thank you." Zinnia smiled and reached out taking the elf's hand. You will be good for Haldir and his brothers. Valar knows they will never settle down. Perhaps when they go to Valinor. She sighed and shook her head slightly as they entered the storage area. Even then I can see them remaining the same, running over the forest and shooting things. You would think that they would have grown out of that after roughly two thousand years. They are boys, and boys only grow to males, males never grow further than that. The entered the storage area as Suvel sighed again.

She smiled down at the child who was looking around all of the colored fabric in wonder. They were going to choose what colors she would have for her sheets and comforter as well as pillows and other necessities for her room. Haldir had thought it a good way to keep her occupied while he was busy moving the furniture. They stopped in front of the large rolls of fabric that were used to make sheets and Suvel laughed at the expression on the girl's face. 

Go child, you can touch. Find the ones you like. Zinnia looked up to her and blinked clearly not understanding. Suvel walked over to the nearest roll and touched it gently pulling the child to the roll as well. You must find the kind of fabric you like best, then choose the color. She moved Zinnia's hand down the silky material and the girl's eyes widened even more. 

"I. . I get to pick from these?" Zinnia's attention went back to the various colors. 

Yes, you choose child. It is your decision, you may pick three colors. Suvel thought for a moment. "Three." She held up three fingers just to make sure the child understood her meaning. Zinnia laughed and then ran down one of the rows her hand trailing along the fabric. Suvel only smiled and watched. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Rúmil, pick up your end, said Orophin.

My end is up brother, perhaps you should train more often. 

I do not need to train any more than I do. Which I might add is twice as much as I see you on the field. Rúmil grinned but shook his head.

Then you do not open your eyes wide enough to see all who are there. 

Will you two quit your bickering and actually help me with this, said Haldir in a sigh as he walked by them carrying parts of Zinnia's bed as they still struggled with the mattress. 

He started it. 

I did no such thing! 

I told her I would be no longer than an hour, said Haldir looking down to them. I will not allow you two to make that statement false. 

Yes brother. The two spoke at the same time then started laughing as they climbed the steps again. Haldir sighed walking past them to retrieve the rest of the bed. 

Between the three of them it had only taken half an hour to have all of the new furniture in the proper places. A small bed, a dresser, and the weapon cabinet. The cabinet locked shut automatically sealing the doors and allowing none to open it. The release was hidden on the top, perfect for Haldir's needs as the cabinet was slightly taller than he was. There was no way Zinnia would be able to open it, at least not until she was older. After Haldir placed his bow and quiver in the correct places he closed the doors and nodded satisfied with the new acquisition. 

The bed should be against this wall! Haldir closed his eyes and took a breath letting it out slowly before going back to where his brothers were arguing once again. 

Orophin. Rúmil sighed and looked to his brother. The sun will come in this way in the morning. She should have it on her face. It should go along this wall. 

Nonsense, it will wake her in the morning if the bed is positioned there. Place it here and she will be able to sleep undisturbed. Haldir leaned against the door and watched amused as his brothers almost came to blows over where the bed would be placed. 

The bed will go along the wall with the window, said Haldir. They looked to him and he grinned. She will want to fall asleep looking at the stars. It would also give her a direct view of the door and when it was open the main room. Which would mean that he would have a direct view into there as well. Orophin and Haldir moved the bed as Rúmil retrieved the basket of items Suvel had dropped off.

You will have to get her more clothes. Haldir looked over to Rúmil as he put the two remaining dresses in the drawers of the dresser.

Yes, those should last at least until tomorrow judging from the day today, said Haldir with a small laugh.

Perhaps you should put an order in as well, said Orophin with a grin.

I never liked that particular tunic. 

Then she has done you a great service, said Rúmil picking up the dolls and setting them on the stand. 

I believe

Captain! Captain Haldir. Haldir's comment was cut off from the shouts of an elf scout running up the stairs. The three brothers left the small room and the main room just as the elf ran through the door panting. 

What is it Malhith? Haldir's concerned tone made the elf look up. 

Sir, we found the child's father in the woods. He was injured, a head wound. Haldir's heart froze. It looked as though he had fallen down a small hill. 

Where is he? His tone was dark and his fists balled. The young elf looked up confused thinking that his captain would be happy with that information.

Firith ordered him to be taken to the healers directly though we were able to treat him. Haldir went to the weapons cabinet and pulled a dagger sliding it in his boot as Malhith spoke. He regained consciousness just a day ago. We gathered that he was attacked as they traveled. . well from the little common that any of us know. 

And Firith, asked Orophin his anger also visible.

Reporting to the Lord and lady. Malhith's tone was confused. 

Brother, do not do something stupid, said Rúmil putting his hand on Haldir's chest and stopping him from storming out of the telain and directly to the healers. 

Stupid? It will be justice, you saw the scars and bruises just as vividly as I. 

Yes, I have. But you can not kill him without a ruling or in protection of ill intent. Not if he has been granted passage to the city as Firith has given him. It is our law, if you break it you can be punished. 

He will be dead, it does not matter. 

As much as I hate agreeing with Rúmil, he is right. We will bring him on charges here, the Lord and Lady will rule. 

Nay. Haldir went to move anyway. 

Think of the child, said Rúmil. If you are taken from her what does she have? That stopped Haldir. 

He will not walk free in this city. He brings evil. 

And he will be judged for it, said Rúmil. 

Sir, is . . is he a danger to the girl? All three of them looked to Malhith at his comment. He never saw Zinnia.

How did you know the child was female? asked Haldir.

We met with Suvel and her on our entrance into the city. They went with the group to the healers. None answered the confused scout as all three were running as fast as they could towards the healing houses.

~~~~~~~~

Aier = little one

Ha! Another chapter done. Inspiration struck and this came out rather quickly. Don't you just hate where it ends? Again I hope to have the next chapter finished by the end of the week. I wouldn't leave you on edge for too long. Thanks for all the reviews by the way!


	12. Justice

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: This section will contain child abuse of the both physical and mental variety. Nothing too graphic and nothing too permanent. If you don't wish to read about it please don't. It is a sensitive subject, but like I have mentioned before, I feel it is a valid background for my character. 

Chapter 12: Justice

Haldir will be. . amused by your color choices I believe. Suvel laughed softly at the bright yellow, sunset orange, and sky blue scraps of cloth before tucking them in the girl's pocket pocket. Show them to him when he asks. They were exact opposites of the normal pastels or neutrals that Haldir seemed to favor. He needs color in his life besides. Perhaps that is what you will bring him. The girl was humming next to her with a smile on her face the flower Orophin had given her pressed to her nose. If you enjoy flowers I will have to tell Haldir to take you to the main gardens. All colors that nature can provide are there. The Lady tends it herself. 

"Why do you live in trees?" Zinnia's attention had turned to the large branches hanging above them. Suvel smiled and followed the child's eyes.

They are beautiful are they not? Mellryn, they only grow here in Lórien. Suvel looked back to Zinnia and grinned. I am sure you have never seen trees so large. Many here are older than even I! Zinnia smiled at the elf responding to the teasing tone. We need to see that smile more often. Perhaps I can sneak you in some desert after your dinner. It will keep you awake but Haldir will never realize it until it is to late. Suvel laughed and Zinnia smiled again then held out the flower in her hand. Dear that is yours. Crouching down in front of the girl Suvel took the flower and put it back in Zinnia's hair. 

Suvel. Both turned and looked at the voice. Zinnia startled and jumped behind Suvel grabbing onto the elf's skirts. 

Firith, greeted Suvel with a warm smile and putting a reassuring hand on Zinnia's small head. You are back from patrol so soon? 

Yes I believe we have found the child's father. 

Oh that is good news, said Suvel in almost a bittersweet tone. She had wanted Haldir to care for the child, but having her father back was important as well. Where is he? 

He had a nasty gash on his head and was unconscious. The only thing we could gather is that he was attacked. I am on my way to report to the Lord and Lady, her father is being taken to the healers.

Is he going to live? 

Yes, a head injury but a minor one. Once we had him awake he started to improve. Firith looked down to Zinnia. Your father will heal. He smiled and went to touch her but she moved further behind Suvel. 

She is a shy one, said Suvel with a small shrug. I will take her to see him, perhaps a message should be delivered to Haldir. 

Send Malhith, said Firith. I must go, they should still be on the path as their pace was not hurried.

Thank you. Firith nodded and gave one last smile to Zinnia before continuing. Suvel turned back to Zinnia after watching him walk for a moment. Come child, let us go see your father. She sighed. Though I had hoped that you would be able to stay with Haldir. Zinnia was completely oblivious to what was going on and watched as Firith walked away.

She followed Suvel when the elf tugged on her hand gently to get her attention. As they walked down the path she would run around and touch various flowers that grew along the side. Suvel watched with a small smile and once again wished that things had worked out so the girl was able to stay with them. Looking forward she saw a small group of gray clad Galadhrim and a lone figure dressed in shabby browns and blacks.

You must take after your mother, said Suvel as she took in the sight of the human. He was shorter than the elves as most humans were, but he was much shorter. He only reached the chest of the one standing closest to him. He also had greasy, thin, dark brown hair that hung in tendrils to his shoulders. She looked down to Zinnia when her grip became almost painful. Child what is wrong? A look of almost horror on the child's face was not what she expected when she saw her father again.

"There ya are ya filthy gutter rat." His tone was the exact opposite of his words. Zinnia stopped in her tracks and swallowed heavily her eyes never leaving the man before her. "Act like ya 'appy to see me ya little brat." He sounded like a relieved parent finding their missing child to the elves. Only Zinnia in that group understood what he was really saying. Slowly a weak smile appeared on her face though her hand clamped tighter to Suvel. 

Little one what is wrong? Suvel crouched down to look Zinnia in the eye. 

"Haldir," she whispered looking to the elleth with frightened teary eyes. "I want Haldir." 

I will tell him the news, said Suvel with a small smile. Before Suvel could stand again the man had walked over and grabbed Zinnia pulling her up and smiling widely. Suvel watched getting an uneasy feeling about the scene in front of her. It only grew when she saw Zinnia try to push away from the man as he held her. Malhith. A young Galadhrim stepped forward. Firith wishes for you to inform Haldir that we have found the child's father. Go there in all haste, do not tarry. 

Yes my Lady. He bowed before running off towards Haldir's. Suvel watched the man and child with a frown as she followed behind them. 

"Where's the little beast?" Zinnia tried to push away from him but his hand went under her skirt and pinched the back of her calf causing her to let out a squeak. "Hush or you'll get worse by me." 

"Alar is dead master." The man snorted.

"The little brat deserved it. Tryin' to run off with my property and the like. I 'ope it was painful. I'd a had him at the end of my whip 'ad I caught him first." Tears started in her eyes. "Oh don't cry ya little baby. You'll make much more for me than he would ever besides. The little runt couldn't do a'thing worth while." He sighed. "Look on the bright side one less mouth to cook fer and clean up after." He looked to the girl on his hip and grinned maliciously. 

"So which a these stupid bloke's took ya in? Gave you that pretty dress?" He tugged on it a little. "A rich one I bet. I 'ope ya didn' get used to it 'cause there's no way I'm lettin ya stay here. Did ya like what ya had to do to get it? Sure ya did you always do don't ya. Just like your tramp o' a mother." 

"I missed ya my little strumpet, my pretty little strumpet." He readjusted her and smiled even more as she tried to push away from him again. "We 'afta get all reacquainted like we do." His hand slipped a little higher under her dress and she looked to Suvel with a pleading look. "We'd a been fine 'ad the maggot not interrupted us out in the wild. Ah but we won't be worrin' 'bout that ag'in will we?" He chuckled. 

Suvel's feelings of suspicions grew when she saw the girl look back to her. There was fear and hopelessness in her eyes, nothing of the emotions that should have been in a child happy to be reunited with a lost parent. When the man laughed a chill went down her spine. It wasn't a happy laugh, it was malicious. The tear falling down Zinnia's face drove her into action. She walked up and pulled the girl from the man's grasp surprising him. 

I think she should walk sir, your injury might have made you weak. 

"Wait 'ere she's mine. Where I go she goes." 

She, Suvel pointed to Zinnia who she had set on the ground, walks. She held up her fingers and made a walking motion. 

"Fine." He started walking again. "Zinnia come!" he shouted. The child jumped and tried to tug her hand out of Suvel's frantic to follow. With a final jerk Zinnia pulled away from Suvel and ran to catch up to the man. She moved three steps behind him and there she stayed until they reached the healers. 

'Haldir will be back, he will. . he said. . he said he would.' Her eyes were unfocused as she followed the back of the man she had feared almost her entire life. 'An hour. . is an hour up? Is it? He's not coming back. . I was bad. . I was bad he left and master came back. Master is all that matters. Master is god. Master is god. Master is god.' It didn't stop the tears from falling down her face at the thought of Haldir leaving her though. 'No!' she screamed to herself. 'Haldir will be back. . Haldir will be back and. . and take me away! Yes he'll buy me. . he will. . he will.' She clung to that shred of hope as she climbed the stairs. 

The healer took the man into one of the rooms to examine him. The girl followed and none protested as they all thought she was his daughter. Suvel thinking that they would be supervised left to find Haldir or someone who spoke common fluently. The man's tone was nothing but sugary and sweet but the effect the words were having on the child were wrong. Zinnia was becoming agitated and frightened. The healer thinking nothing of it left the two alone to gather more supplies to rewrap the man's head wound. As soon as he closed the door the man snarled in anger and grabbed Zinnia roughly by the arm and pulled her to him.

"Ya worthless little shit look what ya did ta me!" He pointed to the gash on his forehead. "Ya drew blood on your owner. You best be wishin that I don't kill ya here." He wrapped his other hand around her neck and applied a little pressure. Not enough to choke or bruise but enough to frighten the girl. She started trying to pull the hand away from her. "Still ya little wench!" he hissed. Her hands dropped back to her side and she went rigid. "At least ya haven't fergotten 'ow to follow orders." 

"Now listen and listen good. If they start askin questions and the like this is what ya are to say. I am your daddy got it?" He shook her a little until she nodded. "Right, we were attacked on the road, 'ats how ya got all your bruises and such. If'n they ask anything else ya don't remember." 

"Yes master." Her tone was whispered and horse because of the pressure on her throat. He smacked her and she fell back on the floor from the force of the hit. 

"Daddy ya stupid little bastard! Can't ya do anythin' right? You're just as stupid as the runt. If ya were anythin but female you'd be worthless. It don't take brains to be a good woman. Get over 'ere and quit ya snivlin. That was a love tap compared ta what I'm gonna give ya." He kicked out and caught her on her hip causing her to fall back into the ground with a loud grunt of pain. "Get yer lazy ass up! Fetch me some water." Quickly crawling out of his reach she went to the side table that held some glasses and a pitcher full of liquid. The door opened and he looked expecting to see the healer. 

Haldir grimaced as soon as he saw the man sitting on the bed. He stunk, was dirty and basically revolting. His anger started multiplying just remembering the bruises that had been on the child's body. All most likely caused by the human in front of him. The monster that had killed a small child. His fingers itched to grab the knife in his boot and just flick his wrist embedding it in the man's skull. His brothers were right though, the law stated unless he was directly defending himself or another the man could not be touched. 

"Ah, look 'ere we got us some more visitors." Haldir's attention went to Zinnia who still had her back to him pouring some water. She turned and the sound that escaped him could only be classified as a growl. The marks on her neck were visible to his elvin eyes as well as the red inflamed skin on her cheek. Her eyes turned to him but then right to the ground going over to give her master the water he had ordered. 

"Zinnia, come here aier." Haldir's eyes narrowed at the man as he spoke though his tone was neutral. The rage in him was almost to the braking point not having missed the small limp that had found it's way into her step. She stopped and looked to him.

"Gimme my water." She took a reflexive step at the command. 

"Zinnia, child, come here." Zinnia looked to Haldir obviously confused. 

"I wants my water first." 

"You can retrieve your own glass," snapped Haldir. The man went to grab Zinnia but before his hand could even touch her Haldir had is own hand wrapped around the man's throat and pulled him up roughly. "Touch her again, under my eye and I will have all the cause I need to kill you." 

"So you're the new one are ya? Well I'll let ya have her fer a night but she leaves with me." Haldir snarled and raised his hand to backhand him. 

Haldir! Haldir looked back to Rúmil. His brother's eyes went down to the girl and Haldir's own followed there. She was watching both him and the man with wide eyes. He couldn't read the expression in them but her gaze was locked onto his hand. The hand raised to strike. Disgusted at both himself and the man in his grasp he relaxed his grip causing the man to fall back on the bed. 

"You are no longer a guest her but a prisoner, as such you may not leave this room." 

"What!" screamed the man. "What 'ave I done?" 

"What have you done?" asked Haldir almost incredulously. "I think the bruises and scars on this child as well as the death of another should register in your mind as small as it is." 

"Fer them?" He started laughing. "They're mine. I can do wit em as I please." 

"Yours no longer," said Haldir with a threatening glare. "You will be judged by the Lord and Lady. I can only assure you that you will be found lacking." With that he turned to Zinnia who was now watching the man on the bed. "Zinnia." She looked up to him slowly and he moved down in front of her. "Come child we will go have dinner. Would you like that?" 

"Who the 'ell cares what she wants!" bellowed the man causing Zinnia to jump and look back to him. 

"Dina nandor!" Orophin's tone was nothing short of threatening, in fact it was very intimidating. The man looked to him and wisely chose to shut up even though he did not know the exact words spoken to him. Haldir's attention never strayed from Zinnia as hers never strayed from the man on the bed. 

"Zinnia." She wouldn't look to him. "Zinnia." He moved in her line of sight so she focused on him. "Come we will have dinner." She shied from him when he went to touch her. He only lowered his hand. "Please, will you have dinner with me aier?" Slowly her grip on the glass relaxed and she held it to him. "Thank you, will you come with me?" He took the glass from her careful not to touch her. 

"She is ta stay 'ere with me." Haldir gritted his teeth to keep his comment to himself. Orophin took a step forward glaring at the man whose mouth snapped shut.

"He is no longer your concern, come show me the colors you have picked. I am interested to know." He smiled at the child and she looked to him still torn. She reached into the small pocket on the side of her dress and pulled her hand out. Opening it she revealed a few small strips of cloth. "Are these what you chose?" She nodded slowly and he held his hand out. Hesitating only slightly she put them in his hand. "These are very pretty." He looked to the brightly colored cloth with a small smile. 

"Do you like them?" He looked up at her shy question.

"Yes they are lovely." He handed them back to her and she wrapped her hand around them in a fist. "Are you hungry?" Her only response was to nod. "Then let us go eat." He held his hand to her again hoping she would take it. 

"Can we have some of those cake things again?" He smiled at her. 

"I will see if I can acquire some for us." She nodded and took his hand. The man opened his mouth to say something but another step forward and a hard glare from Orophin quited him. Haldir led her out of the room and his brothers followed closing the door behind them. "Wait here one moment while I speak with my brothers then we can go." Her hand tightened on him and she shook her head. 

"No, not again." 

"I will just be by the door, in your sight the entire time." She shook her head again. "Then let us talk to them together." When she agreed he led her over to them. 

We will stay and watch the prisoner. 

Thank you Orophin, said Haldir looking down to Zinnia who was quietly standing next to him still clutching his hand. Will one of you go inform the Lord and Lady, he needs to be judged. 

I will go. Rúmil looked down to Zinnia before leaving. 

Go Haldir, she does not need to be around him any longer. Haldir nodded and led Zinnia off intending to keep his word and find her some of those cakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where is he going?" Haldir looked down to the girl next to him. It had taken hours to get her to sleep the previous night. Every time she would slip into slumber she would jerk awake and clutch on to him afraid that he would leave. He could see the exhaustion in her blood shot eyes and sluggish movements. 

"He was judged guilty. The Lord and Lady have exiled him from our and any elvin land." There was still confusion in her eyes and he smiled. "He is no longer welcome or allowed here. If he is seen entering these lands he will be shot." 

Zinnia looked back over to where the man she had called master for most of her life was bound hand and foot a fully-armed elf on either side of him. She bit her lip remembering telling the bright Lady and her husband what had happened in the woods. How she had hit her master over the head with a rock when he had started hitting Alar. She reflexively tightened her grip on Haldir's hand just remembering that moment, the fear she had felt. The terror of realizing she had hit her master and made him bleed. It had only been then she had taken her brother and went deeper into the woods instead of staying outside of them. 

"Am I going too?" Haldir moved down in front of her and turned her attention back to him.

"No, you are staying here for as long as you wish. He will never harm you again." 

"You bought me?" 

"No, no you are free now. I have only brought you here to see him leave. To show you that he is going away. To show you that he is no longer a danger to you." 

"He's going away forever?" He heard the hope in her voice. 

"Yes, forever." 

"Can I watch him leave the gates?" 

"Yes." Haldir smiled again and led them over to a spot that would be hard to see from where the prisoner was, though they could see him perfectly. They were situated by the time the guards that were assigned to take the human to the boarders had gathered. It consisted of six guardians and his brothers. They had volunteered knowing that Haldir wanted to go but wouldn't be able to because of Zinnia. She refused to let him out of her sight. 

"Are your brothers going away too?" 

"Only for a short time aier. They are charged with leading the patrol to the boarders and back. They will return within a week." 

"They'll make sure he goes away." Her eyes were on them as they started walking. Orophin was behind the man pushing him as he was yelling and refusing to go. 

"They will." They watched silent as the group left the city, the gates closing behind them.   
  


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Sir orcs have been spotted here recently, should we not wait to make sure he would be safe. 

Nay, if there is any justice in this world they will find him and inflict a fraction of the pain and suffering on him that he has caused innocents in this world. That man is no better than any orc. Orophin spit on the human at his feet before turning away disgusted. 

Master Rúmil are you sure that the Lord and Lady would want this? Rúmil looked up from the human at his feet to the elf that had spoken. 

Did you see the child that we found? 

Yes, when we led him to the city we came across her and Suvel. 

She screams at night because of him, her brother of no more than six years died in her arms because of him, she has bruises and has bled because of him. Rúmil looked down to the man again. She lost her childhood and innocence in all ways because of him. She fears because of him. He looked back to the elf who had a slight realization in his eyes as did the others. The Lord and Lady want him to answer to the Valar. They instructed this border specifically, perhaps knowing of the orcs perhaps not. He is released here and not allowed back in. 

Should he try to return? asked another of the guards.

He should be killed, if any of you have any pity you would deal him a fatal shot to save him from the orcs. I know that should it be up to me, after seeing that poor girls battered body, hearing her screams, should he be in my sights I would not. I would only wound him so the orcs would get him before he reaches the trees. But it is up to the one that has him in their sights. He kicked the man rolling him over on his back. 

"Please Sir Elf! Ya can't leave me out 'ere to rot. I'll die o' 'unger if'n I don't o' thirst!" Rúmil growled and pulled his knife from his boot leaning over the man threateningly. He put the blade over the man's lips and gave a warning glare. The man quieted but yelped when he was roughly rolled again. Rúmil cut his bonds before standing. 

"Leave." Rúmil's word was thick with a Sindarin accent but understandable. The man slowly stood rubbing his wrists where the rope had been. 

"Ya not even gonna give me any food! What kind a people are ya?" 

"Leave," repeated Rúmil. The man took step forward to beg again and all six archers were suddenly aimed at him. Rúmil only smirked at the look that crossed the man's face. "You are trespassing, Leave." The only phrase he knew in common came in useful at times. "Leave!" One of the elves loosed an arrow narrowly missing the man's foot. He jumped back with a scream. Quiet you'll attract the orcs. With those last taunting words Rúmil left to find his brother knowing the others would handle matters. 

Night was well underway before they heard the screams start. They were far away, three miles perhaps four as the wind was blowing gently allowing sound to travel further. Orophin looked to Rúmil and their eyes met in silent knowledge. Those were screams of a human. Both looked away and went back to what they had been doing unbothered. It was hours before the screams were suddenly cut off, no more echoing through the woods. Their only lamenting was of the fact that neither Haldir nor Zinnia would be able to hear it for themselves. 

=================================

Elleth – female elf

Aier – little one

Dina nandor! – Quiet coward

A/N: This was the toughest chapter I have ever written! I had it done a few weeks ago, then I let a friend read it. She brought up some very good points. In the first version, well everything we wanted Haldir to do to master he did. Let me tell you the smack was laid down and it was laid down good! Then she basically told me it blew. 

Her opinion was that an elf would never do that. An elf would be old and wise enough not to act on his rage or homicidal feelings. They would kill in battle and in defense, but they wouldn't kill out of anger. To have Haldir do what he did was out of character and humanizing him to a sever degree. 

I disagreed. I think that elves, at least the elves that I write, are empathetic to a certain degree. In my little universe their emotions are much deeper and heartfelt I would say. I think that is why they are so reserved. Over the years they have learned to hide them around strangers. Lets just look at all the elves we see in the movie. Around strangers, ex. Legolas and the members of the fellowship or Haldir in the scene that introduces him they seem cold and distant. Then look at the scenes with Arwen and Aragorn alone, or Arwen and Elrond. The emotions are much easier expressed between loved ones or friends. 

That was my defense and we argued about it for a long time. Longer than I would care to admit because I don't want proof on the net at just what a dork I can be! Anyway I ended up agreeing with her. Begrudgingly, but I agreed with her that it would be out of character and had to ax the chapter. So I rewrote and rewrote the thing until I got it right enough for me. 

I had to kill the bastard! There was no way around it in my mind. I ran this by said friend from above and she agreed that it wasn't out of character to for the elves to do what they did. He was exiled from their land basically the harshest punishment for an elf realm. They had no sympathy for him. I was going to have him run back to the woods for help and get shot but I figured the orcs would draw it out a little more. Well color me a sadist, but he deserved it.

One good point about the wait is that I will have more chapters up soon! While I was brooding over what to do with this chapter my muse was dancing all over the keyboard and writing further in the future! Woohoo. The next chapter will be up a few hours after I post this one. I just have to read over and correct it. I hope you all are still enjoying the story. Comments or questions? E-mail me dolenurya@fanfiction.net.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS!!!!!!


	13. Strategies

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 13: Strategies

Haldir looked up from his book to check the girl sitting in the corner for about the eighth time in as many minutes. She was fidgeting but sitting there quietly as she was ordered. The past few weeks had been especially trying. If she wasn't clinging to him in fear of something she was yelling and screaming in pure anger. She was testing him to a degree he knew. Seeing if she could push him into hitting her or worse. He had never thought it was going to be this hard. 

This time she had purposely disobeyed him by not doing any thing he asked of her and throwing her dinner dishes on the ground breaking many of them. Her moods had been more than volatile as of late they had been down right unpredictable and unstable. The worse had been when she started screaming obscenities in the middle of a dinner with his brothers and some other friends. He had to leave taking her screaming and kicking out of Orophin's house. Luckily the curses had been in common and none but him knew what she was saying. 

She always regretted it and apologized later. Crying and sobbing that she was sorry and she would be better. He sighed inaudible to her ears and turned the page of his book though he wasn't reading it. If she thought he was paying attention to her she would act out again. Thinking over the situation he did not know what to change. He tried to be calm with her, never showing her his anger over anything she did. Though he would have to be getting more plates. There was a knock at his door and he put his book down going to answer it. 

Good evening brother. Rúmil smiled at him and Haldir sighed.

For some perhaps. He stepped back to let his brother in before closing the door.

Another disagreement? asked Rúmil noting the broken dishes on the floor as well as the girl in the corner. 

"Zinnia, you are to face the corner until I say otherwise." She turned back to the wall at Haldir's words. Yes, another disagreement. Will you sit for a while? 

Yes, however I was sent here by Galadriel. She requests your presence in her garden. I will watch the little one. 

Did she say why she wishes to see me? 

No, it did not seem urgent. Rúmil shrugged slightly and Halidr nodded. 

Do not let her leave the corner for another half an hour at least. Directly after that make her clean the mess she made. If she refuses she goes back to the corner. 

Very well.

She will try to get out of it. Do not let her. 

I will not. 

I will explain it to her. Haldir walked over to Zinnia and she turned to face him. "Aier I have a meeting with Lady Galadriel. I will return later." 

"You're leaving." Her tone was a strange mix of relief and trepidation. 

"For a short time. I will be back, if not before you sleep then before you wake." 

"You won't be back." She moved to turn back to the wall but he held her. 

"I will." 

"No, you don't want me because I'm bad now. I knew it, I knew you didn't want me." 

"That is not true aier."

"Then stay." 

"I must meet with the Lady." 

"I would rather you hit me and yell." 

"What?" She looked up to him her eyes wet with tears but none falling.

"I would rather you hit and yell at me than leave me." 

"I would rather do none of those things." He caressed her cheek before leaning over and kissing the top of her head. "I will return. Stay here until Rúmil tells you to leave. Then you must pick up the mess or return to the wall. It will be your decision." He stood and walked over to the door. "The wall little one." Slowly she turned back around and faced it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir. Haldir looked up to Galadriel who was sitting on the bench in her garden. He had been so in thought that he almost walked by the gardens. She held up her hand when he was about to apologize. Come sit with me. She patted the bench next to her. You are having trouble with the child. 

She is. . almost uncontrollable. He sighed and rubbed his temples in a rare display of distress. She tests me at every turn and her outbursts are getting more and more extreme as well as frequent. I do not know how to combat this. 

It sounds as if it would be very frustrating. 

It is, I had thought. . I had hoped that she would believe me when I told her I would not harm her. 

Her trust will be harder to earn than with words. 

It would appear so. He sighed again. I try to be accommodating to her. Not to push her into anything she does not want. If she wishes to do something we do. 

Perhaps Haldir you are approaching the problem from the wrong side. He looked to her. Your heart is in the right place, wanting to give her what has been denied to her so long. Any child would wish for you as their caregiver. 

Then what am I doing wrong? 

You must try to think more like her my friend. She said with a small smile. 

I am trying to get her not to think as she does anymore. 

A worthy challenge. 

So it would seem. 

Though to change her pattern of thought first you must know her pattern of thought. 

I can not, she switches from anger to fear or any other emotion faster than I can even name them. 

I believe she has a right to her anger after all she has suffered. 

I think no different, though I only wish she would allow me to help her. 

She will Haldir, just be patient. She stood and looked back to him. Walk with me. Haldir stood and she took his offered arm as they started to walk the paths of the city. I wonder, does she show her anger to all? 

It does not matter where she is, though it seems I am only the target of it. 

Why do you think that is? 

She is confused? She thinks I will hit her. 

Or perhaps she knows you will not. He looked to her for a moment and then forward again thinking of this new information. She does feel safe with you Haldir.

Then why does she try to push me? Why does she act so angry and willful one second and then cower and hide the next? 

Do you think she was allowed to express herself before?

No, no that. . that monster wanted nothing but her silence and obedience. 

Her anger is deep seated and connected with her fear. She is angry for not being able to do what she is able to now. She is angry for not being protected. It is only in her time with you that she realizes how betrayed she has been by the ones in her life that should have kept her safe. With that she fears you will not like her for being unable to protect that which she said she would.

Her brother. 

Not only her brother but herself. There was another silence as they walked a little further. 

How can I help her? 

I wish I could tell you for certain. Galadriel's tone was soft and slightly sad. The truth is that not even I know. I have never encountered such a battered soul, but she is not beyond help. 

Then I will have to be patient and hope that she will come to understand. Galadriel nodded slowly. I do not know what else I can give her that I have not already tried. 

Has she spoken to you of her time with the humans. 

Only when she wakes up with nightmares. 

What are they of? 

Monsters, loss, abandonment. 

She feels like she has no control Haldir. She has had none in her short life. Now everything she has ever learned was right is wrong, everything she has come to expect does not happen, she does not understand the sudden and complete change. 

You think she it being so much trouble because she wants to be hit? He remembered Zinnia's words from before and frowned.

She does not want to be hit, what she wants is control. She wants to know what will happen. I can only imagine what her life was like before. One day after the other not knowing what would happen to her or those she loved. Not knowing how she would be treated. If she would be hit or worse. Silence fell between them again. 

You think her acting out is a way for her to assert control. For her to know what will happen. 

It is of a two-fold benefit for her Haldir. Not only will she know she is going to get punished she knows she will have your attention. Something she craves and desires more than anything else at this point in her life. He had to admit she made sense. More often than not her worse behavior came when others were around. When he was speaking with someone or not looking to her. He had thought she just saw an opportunity when his attention had been diverted. 

I had not thought of that, he admitted. Galadriel smiled softly and patted his arm. 

If it were you Haldir, if you had a loss of control and fear of the unknown what would you want? 

I would want structure, I would want a stable and solid routine so I would know what would happen to me. 

It is up to you to give her that structure. Let her make decisions but not force her to decide everything. She is still a child, you must remember that but temper it with the knowledge that she needs more support than another child would. They walked a little further. I know you wish her to only have fun and be loved as children should, but children must also learn responsibility and what is expected of them. Perhaps catering to her every wish is not the best way to go about it. Especially as she does not know what she wishes. 

No, no I think it has not been. I only wanted her to . . to not have to feel like she . . like she had to do anything. 

She wants to please you Haldir. Her only means of pleasing the adults around her before were to complete chores and follow instructions.

Or sexually, he said quietly. 

Has she tried to do so with you? 

Yes, I had let her sleep in my bed when she was scared. I cannot any longer though. I believe she became confused of my intentions or perhaps expectations. Galadriel nodded slowly a small frown on her face. That should have been expected at some point. She has tried with my brothers as well. He sighed. She becomes so angry when we stop her. 

You keep your attention on her though, that is what she wants Haldir. You must walk a fine line. A line between giving her the attention she needs and not rewarding her with your attention for bad behavior. That is what you are doing now to a degree I believe. Rewarding her for her behavior, though you view it as punishment.

Do you suggest that I ignore her? 

No, no that might not be advisable. Galadriel thought for a moment. Try to get her to talk of her feelings. Allow her to have another way to express them. Give her the ability to speak verbally about them instead of act them out. She must come to terms with what she has suffered. If she does not . . she will pass beyond all ability to help. 

Haldir thought of the lady's words as he strolled the city. The ideas she had proposed made sense, as they always did. He had been so blind, trying to make Zinnia forget her experiences by trying to give her what he thought she wanted. An adult's idea of what a child wants. Treats, toys, and idleness were not everything that drove a child. The need for love and acceptance, for belonging was an even larger part. He sighed and made his way home planning on implementing the new strategy in the morning. 

How did the talk go? Haldir looked up to Rúmil who was sitting on the couch. 

I believe it went well. She has given me a different outlook on the problem. Haldir looked and saw the dishes were clean now as well as the lack of a child in the corner. 

She is in bed, and gave me no problems. Rúmil tilted his head. In fact she seemed rather subdued. Haldir sighed and went to the cabinet pulling out some wine. He held it up and looked to Rúmil who nodded. Grabbing two glasses he walked over to the couch and sat next to his brother. He poured them a each a glass and handed Rúmil one before taking a liberal drink of the one in his own hand. Would you care to speak of it? 

I am too frustrated to know where to begin. He sighed and leaned back against the couch. At times I feel the orcs at the boarders were easier to deal with. At least, at least I could show my anger and . . and solve the problem with a single arrow! 

And the others. 

The others, her smile or laugh is so pure. . so joyful and trusting. I just wish there would be an in between with her. It is so extreme. I wish to help her but I am fearful that I will be able to, I am doubtful of that fact. 

Did the Lady call your ability into question? 

No. 

Then there is no reason to question it. Rúmil watched his brother take another drink. The storm in her will die in time, it will lessen and then fizzle as all storms do. Then think of the rainbow that will become of it. The worst storms make the best of them. 

Have you not had a chance to write any of your poetry lately? Rúmil smiled at Haldir's expression.

No, I have not, however that does not negate the example that I chose to illustrate this with. Haldir chuckled softly and set his glass down. 

I guess you are right, I just hope that it does not get much worse. 

It cannot, said Rúmil with his own grin. He finished his glass and stood putting his hand on Haldir's shoulder. You will figure the solution, you always do. Rúmil flicked Haldir's ear before deftly dodging his brother's attempt to grab him. Good night dear brother, said Rúmil in a laugh.

You think I will not find retribution for that. 

Never. Rúmil gave a flourished bow before leaving and closing the door behind him. Haldir smiled and picked up his glass finishing it off as well. Standing he picked up the glasses and bottle putting them away before walking over to Zinnia's door. She was sleeping peacefully and he sighed starting to undo his braids and walked back to his room. 

It took a while for him to find rest that night. He lay awake thinking of the various ways to put the Lady's advice to use. Only when he decided to himself that he had worked out a suitable plan did he allow himself to relax enough to slip into reverie. He was in his dreams for what felt like mere minutes when a sound caused his eyes to clear. After he had not allowed Zinnia to sleep with him she had taken to sneaking into his room and curling up on the floor next to his bed. To combat this he put small chimes on his door, the same small chimes that had woken him up. Looking over he saw her looking back to him. 

"You came back." 

"I said no differently, did you not believe me?" He was only met with silence and the blinking of wide eyes. "Did you have a bad dream?" She shook her head. "Then why are you up?" 

"I had to see for sure." 

"See what ai'elen?"

"That you came back." Before he could respond she climbed up in the bed and reached over touching his face. "I'm glad you're really here." She sat back when he moved so he was sitting against the headboard. "I want to sleep with you tonight." 

"We have been over this Zinnia. You can not sleep with me." 

"I'll be real good." Her tone was hopeful and she reached over grabbing his hand. 

"I know you will," he said in a soft sigh. "But you can not stay with me." He sighed again when she looked down and tightened her grip on his hand. 

"I want to stay with you." He looked to her and resisted the urge to let her knowing it would be unwise to give in to it. 

"What if I stay with you?" She looked up to him confused and he smiled at her. "Come let us go to your room." She sighed and got off the bed him following her. He grabbed one of the chairs from the dining table as they passed. "Now get into bed and perhaps a story or a song until you sleep." After she was settled he pulled the chair up to her bed and sat on it. "Which would you like?" 

"A story." 

"I know many, do you care for anything specific?" She turned on her side and reached over grabbing his hand. He only moved so he could sit comfortably in that position. She shook her head and situated a little more. "Nothing at all?" 

"One you like." 

"Then let us hear the story of the Rose and the Butterfly."

"I've never heard that one before." Her tone held real interest and he smiled. 

"Then I shall have the honor of telling it to you." He moved holding her hand so his thumb could make slow circles on the back of it. "You have seen the gardens?" she nodded. "This story takes place in much a similar setting." 

"In Caras Galadhon?" 

"No dear, but in a place much like it." He smiled at her and she returned it encouraging him to continue his story. Which he did, and it had the desired effect on her. She was interested and asked questions throughout. He could tell she was filing it away in her own memory adding to the many she already knew. When he finished her eyes were starting to drop and she yawned. "Now you must rest." She nodded sleepily and moved closer to the edge and closer to him. 

"Are you going to stay here all night?" 

"If you wish it of me." 

"Stay." 

"Then I will aier. Close your eyes and sleep." She closed her eyes but would open them every few seconds as well as squeeze his hand. Almost as if making sure he was still there. He moved again causing her to open her eyes but he only smiled and took her hand in his softly stroking her palm. "Perhaps a song to sleep by?" 

"Please?" 

"Close your eyes again my little one and I shall sing you one." Her eyes closed but her hand tightened on him. "May all your dreams bloom like daisies in the sun. May you always have stars in your eyes. May you not stop running on until your race is won. May you always have blue skies." His lips turned into a soft smile seeing that she was asleep after only the first verse. Regardless he continued his song and his soft motions on her hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look!" Haldir laughed and looked down to the excited girl running around him. "Orophin gave me some paint! He said something about water and wash but I don't know what else he said." 

"Yes I see." He said letting her waste her energy. He found it much better to have her run around on the forest floor than in his telain. And what color is it? he asked watching as she stilled and thought.

Blue! She grinned and held the pot of paint up to him. He took it from her before she spilled it over both of them. "Can I help you paint now?" 

"Of course aier." He said and pulled some paper setting it down on the ground before her. She quickly fell to her knees and leaned over the page brimming with excitement. He handed her a brush and she grabbed it pushing it on the paper. He grimaced as she bent the bristles a sure way to ruin the brush. "Perhaps I can help you?" She looked up to him and smiled which he couldn't help returning. She handed him the brush back. 

"You have to hold it gently when applying the paint." He showed her how to make a line and she watched. He smiled as she dutifully took the brush back and tried to copy his movements. Though he saw the humming of her energy through her and it wouldn't allow for slow precise movements. Not wanting to ruin his brush took it back from her with a grin. "Perhaps nature has supplied us with better means of getting the paint on the paper." He dipped his finger in the pot of paint and started making designs. 

"It will get messy." She said looking to him. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Are we not outside aier? What is there to dirty?" She frowned slightly.

"What about our clothes?" she asked still unsure but he saw her eyes stray to the paint and smiled. 

"It will wash," he said and laughed as she stuck almost her whole hand in the pot then turned back to the paper. He painted with her for a little while longer before wiping his fingers on a rag and watching her. He smiled as she started humming making random patterns with her fingers. 

Months had passed since his talk with Galadriel. It seemed a turning point for him and Zinnia. She seemed more trustful after that night. The fact that he had returned to her had soothed some fears. The establishment of a steady and normalized routine had helped the others. There were still moments, but now they were more as a child's should be. A yelling for more deserts or the refusal to sleep, not the anger that had been there before. He watched her for a few moments more before returning to his own painting. 

"Haldir." Her tone was questioning and he looked to her. She was leaning forward her hands completely blue and resting against the paper. 

"What's atara?" she asked watching him with unblinking eyes.

"Atara is mother." She kept watching him obviously waiting for a further explanation. "A mother is one that births the child." She looked back down to the paper and made some more designs but he could tell that she had more questions.

"What's adar?" 

"Father." She looked back up to him. "He helps the mother create the child in her womb." 

"Is that all?" She looked back down to the paper. 

"Mother and father care for the child and raise it. They teach and nurture the child until the child is old enough to live on his or her own." Was the best answer he could think of. 

"Oh." 

"Where are these questions coming from?" he asked with a grin. 

"I heard Elear talking to Suvel. She said that she was going to visit her atara and adar in Mirkwood." Haldir smiled and nodded. None really knew how fast she picked up their language. She could translate the words though she would still not speak them in her shyness causing many to believe she knew less than she did. As it was he only knew because she would ask him words she didn't know yet. "Do all children have them?" 

"Yes," Answered Haldir. "Mothers and fathers create children."

"Then . . mine didn't want me?" she asked sitting back on her feet and looking up to him her joyful expression replaced with one somber and reserved. 

"I believe aier, the situation you were in forced you away from your parents. They had no choice, it was not a matter of want on their part." 

"Because I was a slave," she said.

"Yes, that is true."

"I remember my atara." She leaned back more and absently wiped her hands on her dress. 

"What do you remember of her?" he asked gently. He had found that helping her talk through her memories and understand them made them less hurtful.

"She would smile at me. Like you do." She glanced to him and then to her hands that stopped and pulled away from her body. "And she gave me an apple once. It was bright red and really big. She said to hide it and I did. We ate it after. . after Master had gone to bed. Alar had some too." She looked down at the drawing and sighed. "And I remember her not moving any more, but I don't remember my adar." Haldir didn't know how to respond to that and simply sat down across from her pulling a fresh paper and moving the other to the side to dry. 

"Do you wish to remember him?" he finally asked as he put some paint on his finger and started drawing a pattern.

"I. . I wouldn't want him," she said hesitantly.

"Why is that?" he asked watching as she followed his lead and started painting again. 

"I have you." He looked up to her and saw that she was watching him with a veiled expression. A scared but hopeful one. He broke out into a wide smile joy swelling in his heart at the simple statement. She smiled shyly at him.

"That is the most sincere compliment I have ever been given." She laughed and leaned forward hugging him and in the process smearing paint all over him. A fact that Haldir did not mind or notice at the time as he hugged her back. 

"Can I call you adar?" the whispered question only made his smile grow. 

"Only if I may call you tinu." The grip on him tightened. "Daughter." 

  
==========================

aier = little one

ai'elen = little star

atara = mother

adar = father

tinu = daughter

A/N: I'm getting cavities! I had to write it though. If any of you have any embarrassing stories or little antidotes to help me out with the next few years of her life please send them to me! I swear I will use no names! I'm just trying to flesh out some of the years between the next major points in her life. A little fun and happiness instead of all the angst! 

The song I used can be found here. http:// www. kididdles. com/ mouseum/ d016. html. Just take the spaces out. There isn't a midi to go with it but the rest of the lyrics are there. I have no idea how it goes but the lyrics are so pretty I used it. 

Again the reviews, inspiring! Thank you so much for being so nice to me. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the others.


	14. Winter Solstice

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

~~~~~~~~I've made a banner for this story! You can find it in my profile and there is a link there to a larger version of it. Or you can just go here: www. geocities. com/ maeluiril/ chbanner. html (you have to take out the spaces for it to work.) ~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14 : Winter Solstice

We give gifts to loved ones and friends now to symbolize the gift that the Valar gave us. Zinnia tilted her head not understanding the concept Suvel was trying to explain to her.

Why? 

It is nice, it shows the others that we are thinking of them and that we care for them. The knowledge that another thinks of you in a fond way is very special is it not? Zinnia nodded at Suvel's words. 

What do you give? 

Anything that you wish. It is usually a gift that you think one would need or desire. For example last year I received a beautiful hair comb from your father. It was thoughtful as he knows I like to wear them. She pulled the comb from her hair and showed it to the girl. This is not the exact one he gave though they are similar. Zinnia nodded and Suvel replaced her comb. Perhaps on our next few days together we can make a list of people you would like to make something for. 

What do I make? Suvel smiled at the girl. 

We will think of the perfect gift for everyone on your list. 

Why do I not just ask what they want and make them that. They will like the gift that way. 

The gifts are supposed to be surprises, that means that the person you give them to does not know about it. 

That sounds like a secret. Zinnia's tone was mistrustful. 

It is not, you can tell them if you wish, there is none saying that you can not. 

But they will know about it then. 

Yes, and it will no longer be a surprise. 

Hello! I am here to pick up a very special charge for the afternoon. They both looked over to Orophin who was walking up the stairs. Zinnia's face broke into a wide grin and she went to stand. 

Zinnia. She looked back to Suvel. Give him the drawing you made for him while I gather your lessons for tonight. She nodded enthusiastically and ran to the table snatching her artwork before running to Orophin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was she any trouble? Orophin only laughed at Haldir's question. 

Perhaps you should go see for yourself. Orophin led him back down the stairs and to the clearing a few trees away. Zinnia was sitting in the middle of a mud puddle making hills. 

You were to watch her.

I watched her run into the mud. Orophin looked to the girl. The only part of her that wasn't covered was her face, and that was only parts. There were streaks where she had touched herself. 

Valar Orophin she is an orc. 

But a happy one, and more to the point now that you are here, you can give her a bath. Orophin laughed at Haldir's expression causing Zinnia to look over to them.

Ada! She cried happily jumping up and running to him. Haldir had no choice but to accept the hug from the muddy girl. 

Hello tinu. He smiled as she wiped her face on his tunic then looked up to him. 

Come see what I am making. She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the mud puddle. 

I shall see you later toro'tinu. Haldir shot Orophin a small glare and then his face broke into a wide grin.

Say goodbye to Orophin my sweet. She stopped pulling on him and ran to Orophin wrapping her arms around his legs. 

Bye Orophin. 

Bye Zia, he said in a sigh patting her head. 

Come on ada! She ran back over to the mud puddle. 

Yes go inspect her creations, said Orophin patting Haldir's back. 

Thank you for watching her. Haldir reached over and put his hands on Orophin's cheeks. You are the best brother on Arda.

You think I do not know that there is now mud all over my face? 

You think I do not know that there is mud all over my back? Haldir raised an eyebrow and smiled before releasing him. I shall see you later brother. Orophin sighed walking away and wiping his face. 

Look ada I made a city for the worms. She picked one of the inhabitants up to show him. 

I am sure they are. . grateful for your efforts on their behalf. 

Will you help me make the wall to protect them? 

The wall? 

Like we have here to keep the bad ones out. She sighed and sat back. I can't find enough to go on patrol like Orophin and Rúmil. She looked back down and grabbed a few. Every time I put them somewhere they go away. He smiled then laughed seeing her distressed expression. 

Of course I will help. He was already muddy from having hugged her and saw no problem in becoming dirtier. What do I need to do? 

We have to build a wall like this. She started piling mud up and patting it into her wall with her hands. You have to make sure that it is solid so they are safe. He nodded solemnly and started construction. Between the two of them it only took a few minutes to complete the structure. Perfect. She declared and stuck a few sticks around the circle they had made. 

Does the city have a name? 

I do not know. She looked to him. The worms did not tell me it. He smiled.

Perhaps they are waiting for you to name it for them. She tilted her head as if thinking that thought over. 

I. . I've never named anything before. She looked back down to the dirt city and 'rescued' another inhabitant that was trying to flee. What if they do not like the one I pick. After she set it on one of the towers she looked back to Haldir. 

You helped them build it, it is only fitting you help them name it. She put another small stick in one of the towers. 

You helped build it too. You name it. 

Let us name it together. 

What do you want it to be called? Haldir looked at her and grinned.

Wiggle city? She laughed.

That is silly! He chuckled at her expression. 

Then let us hear your name for it. 

Nin Kemen. She nodded as she spoke and he smiled. 

A very fitting name for such a fine and noble city. She smiled at him. Now come we must wash off before we can go home. 

Do I have to? 

Aier you are more mud than flesh, yes you must. We both must. He wasn't sure if her aversion to bathing was tied to her past or the simple fact that she didn't like to do it. His own brothers had the same dislike of soap when they were younger. 

I like the mud though, it is fun. To prove her point she held a hand full up and squeezed letting it seep out between her fingers. 

Yes, it is at that. Agreed Haldir. However we have other things that must get accomplished today. 

I know! Suvel gave me letters to practice. 

Yes I saw them. One thing he never had to fight her on was the lessons that Suvel would give her. She seemed to enjoy learning and was curious enough to be interested in it. They had to start from the beginning as she had no schooling in the past but she was bright and doing well. 

Then let us go for a swim to wipe the mud off. 

Swim is just another word for bath. Her displeasure showing on her face. 

Swimming is done for fun, bathing is done for sanitation. There is a difference. He looked at her a moment as she kept patting the mud. I will teach you if you do not know how. If that is your want. 

I want to learn. 

Then let us go. 

~~~~~~~~~

She frightened when he took her past where she could touch. Once he was able to pry her arms off him he was able to teach her how to float. After that she was more accepting and even went under the water a few times. Though her grip never loosened from him. She even made him promise to keep teaching her how to swim. He agreed only if she promised to only swim with an adult. 

We are going to have to get you some more dresses aier, he said with a smile as he dried her hair with his tunic. She had gone into the water fully dressed except her slippers though he took off his outer tunic as well as shoes. Normally he would have gone in his leggings only but the girl reacted badly at seeing any undressed, even partially. As it was he left his under tunic on. 

I am sorry. 

What for? He turned her slowly to look her in the eye. 

For making you buy me more things. 

Do not be sorry for that. I wish to give them to you. It is of no trouble nor any bother. She shifted slightly and looked away from him. He had come to recognize the signs of her wanting to ask for something over the months she had been with him. What is it aier? 

I. . I do not want any more dresses. 

I told you it is no problem, he said with a small smile. Children are expected to go through clothing. 

It.. . is not that. 

Then what has you fidgeting so? She bit her lip and shifted again. Tell me I will not be angry. 

Idonotwantdressesanymoreiwanttobeawarriorlikeyou. He only barely held back his laugh not wanting to let her think he was laughing at whatever she had said as he had understood none of it. 

I am sorry aier but I did not understand you. Will you tell me again only slower? She looked up to him.

I do not want any more dresses because. . She trailed off.

Because of what? He brought the tunic up and wiped off her face. 

I want to be a warrior like you. . so no one can get hurt anymore. He stopped his motions and looked to her. It didn't take a scholar to know she wanted to protect herself. And it is really hard to climb a tree in a dress. 

Ah. He moved and sat down motioning for her to join him. She sat in front of him their knees touching. A warrior can wear a dress. 

Do you wear them? 

No, he said in a small laugh. I do not, but I am not the only warrior in these woods. 

But you are the best. 

I would not say that I am the best. She cut him off.

No you are the best. She shook her head not wanting to hear his words. He smiled but let the subject drop knowing it would be no use arguing with her. 

There are female warriors, you do not have to stop wearing dresses to become one. 

I have never seen one. 

Then we shall have to rectify that. 

So I still have to wear dresses? 

If it is your want not to then no. Next time we go to the tailors, which judging from the state of the clothes you now have will be within a week or two, we will order you tunics and leggings. 

Well. . maybe one dress. . but I want to be like you and uncle Rúmil and uncle Orophin. I do not want to be weak anymore! 

You are not weak because you wear a dress. She looked to him. You are not weak at all aier, you are very strong. 

I. . I could not stop anything I wanted to stop though. Tears started in her eyes and she looked down ashamed. 

No, you could not have. He moved forward and held his hand out knowing from experience it was better to have acceptance before touching her when she was in such a state. Her hand moved to his with only the barest amount of hesitance. I spoke of the strength you have within you, not physical. Physical strength takes time to grow, just as your body does. There was no way you could have stopped what happened to you. It was not possible. 

You could have stopped it. Her tone was almost bitter. 

If I had been in your position as I am now, yes I could have stopped it. Her head hung a little lower and he tightened his grip on her hand fractionally. Aier, but if I had been in your position at your age I would not have been able to. I would have been just as defenseless as you. He could see the hint of disbelief in her eyes when she looked back up to him. 

You still would have stopped it. 

How? She shrugged her shoulders slightly. You are a child my sweet. He moved forward to wipe the tear off her cheek but held his hand until she moved to it. Adults are supposed to protect children from harm not cause them such. There was silence for a few moments. Know that you did everything that you could, never think that you did not. I am very proud of you. I do not think that I would have been able to do what you did in your position. 

What did I do? 

You stood up to your fear. A fear that had been taught and enforced since you were born. You faced him, you faced him and you won. You survived. 

I could not save Alar. I could not save my mother. 

No, and I wish I had an answer for you of why they had to die, but I do not. I can tell you that it was not your fault. It could not have been expected of you to protect others, you were in no position to do so. 

I wanted to though. I wanted to protect them. I wanted to save them. She sighed and closed her eyes leaning forward into him a little more. But I could not. I. . I want to be able to protect from now on. I want to be. . She trailed off not sure what she wanted.

Safe? She nodded. 

I do not want to be afraid any more. 

You think warriors are not afraid? She shook her head no. That is false, we can get very scared when facing our enemies. He smiled at her expression. What makes warriors strong is their ability to face that fear and fight in spite of it. You are already a warrior. 

If I am a warrior then where are my weapons? 

Your determination and spirit are you weapons where my bow and sword are mine. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. 

I still want leggings. Haldir smiled.

And you shall have them. He dried her face off a little more before standing. Now come we must get back home. 

Do I have to take a bath tonight? I was already in water. He smiled as he stood. 

Yes, as I told you before. He heard her sigh as she stood as well ringing out her dress. 

Why do you not take baths all of the time? 

I take mine before I wake you, he said with a small laugh. Though I will be having one before bed tonight as well. He smiled when she ran up and grabbed his hand as they headed towards home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What else did you learn today? 

Well, Suvel told me a few more stories and then helped me to read a little more. Then we started writing and I spilled ink all over the table, but she said that it was fine because a school table without ink on it is like a cookers apron with no flour. She looked up to him pausing from her work. That means it is good because it shows that the person is working real hard. 

Ah, thank you for clarifying. She nodded and looked back down to her paper missing Haldir's smile. 

Then we walked and after that she let me draw. I do not have a picture for you today because I made one for Orophin. She looked back up. You are not mad are you?

No, Orophin needs more art in his home besides. Zinnia laughed.

That is what Suvel said. Looking back down to her letters she continued talking. I drew him a picture of a bird I saw on my walk. He liked it. He said it was very colorful. 

What color was the bird? 

Well it was yellow, but I thought it would look better if it was red, yellow and purple so that is how I drew it. Why be one color when you can be a bunch? 

A good question. 

Yes, so I drew the bird how it should have been colored. Then I was thinking that maybe the tree wanted different colors too. 

Most likely, what color were those? 

The leaves were blue and the bark was a mix of blue and green. 

It sounds colorful.

Oh it was. She nodded and finished tracing the letter she had been working on. Suvel also told me the story of Winter Solstice. She said that it is trad.. tradi.

Tradition.

Tradition that gifts are given to friends and family. 

It is. 

Then she said that you are not supposed to tell them because it is a surprise, but that sounds like a secret to me. She paused watching him obviously seeking guidance on the matter. 

A surprise is not a secret because you can tell all but who the surprise is for. 

So I could tell you what I will be giving others? 

Yes, and you could tell them what you are going to give me. 

But I do not know what to get anyone. Suvel said we are going to make a list and then she will help me make the presents for everyone. 

It sounds as if your days will be filled. 

I was thinking that I would give Rúmil a poem. He gives me so many. She looked up to him. Would he want that? 

I am sure that he would. Rúmil loves all poetry. 

It will not be as good as his, or what he reads in his books. 

How do you know that is truth? Have you written a poem before. 

No. 

I am willing to bet that Rúmil will love your poem because you put so much thought and time into it. That is the true meaning of Winter Solstice my sweet. The thought you give the person as you pick or make their present. Not what it is. Rúmil will love anything you make him, as will Orophin, as will I or anyone else you give a gift to. She nodded slowly and turned back to her writing thinking of what she wanted to give everyone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celeborn was on his normal afternoon stroll. Over the centuries it had become a well-ingrained routine to do such after council. It helped him work out any problems he had but it also helped him to relax and refresh after what was usually a boring and tedious affair. All of the inhabitants of Lórien had learned of this routine over the years and respected his want for solitude keeping off his normal path. All but one it seemed as he heard the soft sobs. 

He paused a moment and then turned following the sounds. He found the youngest resident of his woods huddled against a tree looking in her hands at something. Debating on if he should approach her or find Haldir he watched for a moment. Making up his mind he took a few steps towards her and made some noise so she would hear him. Her head snapped up and looked to him the tears running down her face. 

What is wrong youngling? she sniffed and held up a stick that had hair tied to the end of it. He moved around in front of her and it was then he saw the chunk of her hair missing from her head and the scissors sitting next to her. 

It does not work. 

What does not work? he asked quietly sitting in front of her. 

I wanted to make ada a present he would love. 

And what is it you are trying to make? She started crying more. 

"I can't do it." She threw it down. "I knew I couldn't and now he'll be angry because I can't." 

"He will not be angry." Celeborn picked up the stick she had thrown down and inspected it. "A little surprised at your new look but not angry." 

"I wanted to give him something special for Winter Solstice, but I can't." 

"Perhaps if you explain your reasoning to me we can come to a solution to this problem together." She sniffed and wiped her eyes along the sleeve of her dress. 

"Ada likes to paint and I do too, I borrowed his brushes and now they are all bent. I tried to fix them but they were still bent. He said he didn't mind but I heard his sigh, I know he did." She sniffed again. "And then I heard uncle Rúmil say how those were expensive because they were made from someone's real hair and not from a horse."

"So you wanted to make him new ones to replace them." She nodded.

"That doesn't look like a paint brush though." She pointed to the attempt she had made. Celeborn had to admit that no, it did not. It looked more like a twig with hair tied to it. He didn't have the heart to tell her that though. 

"It was a very solid attempt." He looked back to the girl. "Do not be sad, I'll have you know that the person that made Haldir's brushes before had many, many years of practice. His first brushes were not how his last ones were." 

"But now he'll know." She touched her hair where she had cut out the portion she had tied to the twig. "He'll know and it won't be a surprise and he won't like it. And I don't have anything for him and solstice is in less than a week." She started crying again and Celeborn frowned. 

"Do not cry, all is not lost." 

"But I don't have a gift for ada!" 

"You have gifted him with more than you know." She looked up to him not understanding his meaning. "Now, I told you I would help you find a solution, and I think I have one. Come, we shall have your ada a fitting gift." He stood and held out his hand. She looked to him as if debating something and then gathered her supplies standing as well. "Come little one." He smiled at her and she took his hand before walking off. 

"Where are we going?" 

"To a crafters." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

What has happened to your hair? Zinnia looked up to Haldir and bit her lip. After they had left the crafter's shop Celeborn had taken her and cut her hair so it was even. Now it just reached above her shoulders. 

It is a surprise not a secret. She looked up to him and squared her shoulders. Lord Celeborn knows but he promised not to tell anyone else. Haldir looked to Celeborn.

It is truth I gave my word. Celeborn smiled as both watched Zinnia let go of his hand and ran to her room. 

I hope she did not bother you. Haldir looked back to Celeborn. 

Not at all, she was good company. Haldir was about to say something else but Zinnia ran back out thrusting one of her paintings at Celeborn. 

See I drew you and Lady Galadriel. Celeborn smiled then chuckled looking to the painting. 

I have green hair? 

Well no, but I thought you would look good with it. 

Ah, I believe Galadriel would like her hair. Pink is one of her favored colors. 

You can have it if you wish. 

Such a treasure, I shall keep it always. Zinnia smiled at him and leaned forward wrapping her arms around his legs as she could not reach his waist. 

Thank you. 

You are welcome. She turned to Haldir.

Ada can lord Celeborn stay for dinner? Haldir flushed slightly at the thought of having his lord eat with him. It was not unusual to find Haldir sharing a table with his Lord and Lady though it was normally theirs. You can only have desert if you eat everything on your plate though. Even the nasty things. She made a disgusted face causing both Haldir and Celeborn to laugh. 

He is welcome if he would care to. She looked up to Celeborn hopefully. 

It would be a pleasure. 

After her bath, which she had unsuccessfully tried to deal her way out of, they had dinner. Zinnia chatted happily as she normally did telling Haldir of her day then asking of his. She was drilling Celeborn on his day when Haldir got them all desert. The only time she was quiet was when she was chewing her food. Neither of them minded though. 

You have to wash your plates. I will show you how. 

I will do his Zinnia, said Haldir flushing again as Zinnia was trying to tug the lord of Lórien to the washbasin to do his dinner dishes. 

But you said one should always do their dishes and clean after themselves. She looked to Haldir and blinked. 

Yes, but he is a guest in our home. He was invited, as such he does not have to do his dishes. Celeborn laughed at the confusion written across her features. 

Then let me offer my services. Zinnia smiled.

You wash them over here. She grabbed her plate and glass walking to the kitchen area. 

My Lord you do not.

Haldir do you think me so incapable that I cannot wash my own dishes? 

No, said Haldir with a sheepish grin. 

Honestly I do not mind Haldir. She seems much improved from the child I had first met was it almost a year ago? 

Yes, we found them in march. Haldir looked over to the girl scrubbing her plate then back to Celeborn pitching his voice lower. She still has nightmares, and sometimes other things will set her off. Though for the most part she is overcoming her grief. 

That is good news to hear. 

Come on, the sooner these get done the sooner we can go over my lessons and then draw before bed. She reached over the table and grabbed Celeborn's plate. I will take this you bring your glass. Celeborn smiled and did as he was bid. 

The night passed quietly as both Celeborn and Haldir helped her with the work that Suvel had assigned her. Celeborn was content to sit back and watch as Zinnia took the book she had been working through and climbed up on to the chair Haldir was sitting on situating herself in the small space left open to her. Haldir gave him an apologetic look but Celeborn only grinned and shook his head telling him it was fine. It reminded him of his Celebrían. She used to love to read on his lap. He missed his child. 

It didn't take her long to read through her assignment Haldir helping her on the tougher passages. After that she put the book away and grabbed her pencils and paper keeping herself occupied as Haldir and Celeborn talked over a game of chess. Every now and then she would show them her drawing before starting a new one. The visits became more infrequent and by the time they had finished their game she was asleep her head on the table a pencil still in her hand. 

I believe this is the latest she has ever remained awake. Haldir gently pulled the pencil out of her hand and picked her up. 

I am not tired ada. She yawned as she spoke and put her head on his shoulder closing her eyes again. Haldir chuckled and looked to Celeborn.

I shall return in a moment.

Take your time Haldir. Celeborn smiled as Haldir nodded and turned going into the room that Celeborn knew used to be Haldir's office. Turning his attention back to the drawings that Zinnia had made his smile grew. Many of the ones she had created tonight she had given to him to keep or given to him to take to his wife. He smiled again looking at a particularly colorful rendition of what he assumed to be was some animal, though he wouldn't be able to name it without the child's help. 

She should sleep peacefully tonight. Haldir moved over and started clearing the table. Her new haircut has nothing to do with any sort of trouble I trust. Celeborn chuckled.

No trouble. Haldir smiled and shook his head. Do you regret it? Haldir looked up from gathering the many colored pencils putting them back in their container. Taking her in, I saw your hesitance. 

At first, yes. He sighed and set the container down reclaiming his seat. I was scared I could not give her what she needed. 

What of now? 

I have no regrets, and I am glad that I did not listen to my self-doubts and abandon her to another. Even if it means I no longer hold the position I had worked for, I enjoy caring for her. He refilled Celeborn's wine glass before his own. In fact I may be a bit over eager. There are no more places to hide all of her gifts. Celeborn grinned over the rim of his glass. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You must sit still aier. Zinnia wiggled again causing him to have to stop his motions on her hair. Your braids will be crooked. 

I want to give Suvel her gift first! He smiled and righted her head before finishing her braids. She practically shot out of his lap when his hands left her running to grab the correct gift from her bed. Then we have to give this one to Lord Celeborn, this one to Lady Galadriel. As she recited her list again and he chuckled having heard it enough over the past weeks to have memorized it himself. 

First you must put your shoes on. 

Oh. She ran to her closet and came back out with her slippers on. They had planned on meeting his brothers for dinner and to exchange gifts among each other then. The rest of their day was going to be spent giving her many gifts to all of the people on her list. How am I going to carry everything? His eyes ran over all of the things on the bed with a small grin. 

It seems that every elf she knew was going to get something. Most were nothing more than rolled up parchment carefully tied with colorful ribbon. Drawings or paintings she had made. He knew the real question she should be asking was how was she going to carry all of her presents back. He also knew she had no idea that would be the case.

I think I have the perfect solution. Twenty minutes later found Haldir o' Lórien, his travel pack once again on his back. Only this time instead of being filled with various supplies needed for survival at the boarders it was filled with the creations of the child tugging him through the woods. 

Five hours later Haldir's pack was just as full though now they were from gifts that had been given to Zinnia and a few were his own as well. Almost every place they had stopped she had gotten one type of sweet or another. The result was a very full, very hyper child running circles around him as they headed back to their home. She was carrying something Celeborn had given her. It was a gift of some sort wrapped in a dark blue fabric. When he asked why she hadn't opened it she only said that it was a surprise and continued her hyperactive movements.

After they returned home it took some convincing but he got her to play with her new toys in the main room while he readied the dinner. She had received a few puzzles that had captured her attention immediately. The puzzle box she was playing with at the moment would keep her occupied for hours if she let it. And judging from the intense look of concentration on her face she would. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you like it? 

Very much. She looked up to Orophin. What is it? 

A way to torture his brother even when he is not around. Orophin shot a warning glare to Rúmil. 

Do not listen to him. I chose it for you because you love the music. It had only been after he started making it that he realized the secondary benefit of being able to annoy his brother without being close enough for Haldir to retaliate. It is a recorder, an instrument, he said looking back to the child on his lap. 

I can make music now! Orophin grinned at the excitement in her voice. 

Yes, here in this book are a few well-known songs that are well suited to learning. Each note here is numbered and matches a hole on your recorder. 

I am sure that uncle Orophin will be more than happy to give you lessons and help you with your playing. Orophin grinned at Haldir. 

Of course I would. He looked back to Zinnia and helped her wrap her hands around it correctly. Now blow on it. Zinnia took a deep breath and did as she was told resulting in a loud screeching noise all of the elves winced at. Not so hard aier. 

The thoughtfulness you display is astounding brother. Orophin only smiled at Haldir's comment. 

Look here little blossom. He moved her attention down the side of it. Can you read it? 

To my n. . ne. . neese. . niece! she looked up to him and he smiled nodding at her to continue. Who br. . brings. she looked up to him. Will you read it to me? I want to know what it says now! Orophin grinned at her. 

To my niece, who brings laughter and joy to all who know her. 

It really says that? She looked up to him from inspecting the inscription. 

Yes, it does for it is truth. 

Thank you uncle Orophin. 

You are more than welcome. I look forward to teaching you. She smiled and hugged him clutching the recorder in one of her hands. 

And I do not think you will be a bad teacher. Orophin chuckled.

Thank you. 

Uncle Rúmil said that you would not be able to teach a fish to swim, a plant to grow, or the sun to rise.

Did he? Orophin looked to Rúmil who only toasted him and drank some wine. 

Yes, but I do not think he meant it. 

Why is that? 

He was trying to cook by one of your recipes at the time. She leaned forward to whisper though all heard her. He forgot to add the flour. He said you taught him how to cook. 

I attempted. Corrected Orophin with a smile as Haldir chuckled and Rúmil reddened. 

Zia perhaps you should give Orophin his present now and then give Rúmil his? 

Oh yes! She jumped off her lap at Haldir's suggestion and ran into her room. 

Zinnia. Haldir's tone held a warning.

I know ada do not run with Orophin's present. Orophin looked to Haldir and raised an eye but he only smiled at him. She came back out walking though all could see the itch in her step to run. This one is yours. She put a wrapped bundle in Orophin's lap then turned to Rúmil. 

Then this is mine? She nodded and handed it to him then crawled up on the couch between him and Haldir. Who should open their present first? 

I believe Orophin, said Haldir with a smirk. Orophin shrugged and pulled the ribbon off the fabric revealing the contents. 

They are. . . beautiful. Zinnia smiled as Orophin held up the arrow. The shaft was painted a multitude of colors in stripes with other designs added along it. The fletching was dyed as well. The ones on this particular arrow were pink though inspecting the others he saw a rainbow of colors. 

Ada helped, he made them after I painted them. 

They are wonderful, much better than the plain ones. Zinnia smiled and nodded enthusiastically. At that moment he didn't care at the fact that the others in his patrol group would tease him mercilessly. I will have to take good care of them in the field. 

So you will take them? Ada said you might wish to keep them for display. 

Yes they are worthy of that, perhaps I will choose a few to leave behind, but at least one will go with me every rotation. She smiled at him even more and he couldn't help but respond. Now allow Rúmil to open his present before he bursts. She looked to Rúmil her pleasure at Orophin's reaction still obvious on her face. 

Then it is my turn. She nodded. Perhaps first you would like your gift from me. He reached down into his cloak pulling out a stuffed dear with a bright blue ribbon tied around it's neck. 

A dear. she said happily and reached for it. 

A dear for my dear one. Rúmil smiled as she hugged it. 

His name is Baru. Haldir smiled at the pleasure on her face and the sureness of her tone. 

A most fitting name. She grinned at Orophin and nodded. 

Now open yours. Her attention shifted back to Rúmil though her grip didn't loosen on her new toy.

What is it? asked Rúmil as his hands started untying the material.

A surprise! He chuckled, more for her tone of complete and total annoyance than her answer. 

A surprise, perhaps I should try to guess what it is. He looked at it for a moment. Could it be a horse? 

Uncle Rúmil! 

Then not a horse. A new pair of boots? 

Valar Rúmil stop torturing the child and open the gift. Orophin laughed as he spoke seeing the look on Zinnia's face.

Yes stop torturing me! 

Very well dear one. Rúmil laughed and finished pulling the covering off the small bundle.

I made it all myself, even the frame. I only glued it to the table once. The pride she held in that statement was easy for all to hear.

You wrote this? 

For you. She nodded and looked to him. 

It is lovely Zinnia, a masterpiece. 

As good as the ones in your books? He grinned and hugged her.

Better. She hugged him back and Orophin laughed at the two. 

You have more presents blossom. 

I do? Her head popped up excited and Rúmil grinned. 

Yes, your ada has them. 

Ada? Haldir laughed at her expression and held up another present. 

A few more. She shifted taking the gift from Haldir then moved to the floor before opening it.

More paint! she started opening the lids looking at the colors. Haldir chuckled and got her attention by putting another present in front of her. She grinned and grabbed it pulling the covering off carefully but eagerly. 

Is something wrong aier? She had frozen at opening the box. 

It. . it's a sword. When she looked up to him he saw the mix of fear and astonishment in her eyes. Not understanding the reasoning he frowned a little.

You wished for one did you not? A trainee needs a sword to practice with. This one is wooden, when you know the basics we will replace it with. He grunted cutting off the rest of his words as she jumped on him wrapping her arms around him. Relaxing he smiled and put his own arms around her. Rúmil and Orophin only smiled at the display. 

Thank you. Her grip tightened on him and his smile grew. 

You are more than welcome aier. She pulled back and looked at him. 

I am going to be a warrior. 

I have told you that you already are, but yes, you will learn sword skills. And though it will ruin the surprise of your final gift, archery as well. She practically squealed as she hugged him again.

You are the best ada ever! Her declaration was accompanied by a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Haldir blushed slightly but grinned happily at her words. 

I am glad you think so my sweet. She jumped off him and grabbed the sword from the box. 

Look! Look! Orophin gently grabbed the excited child's wrist before she could follow through on the swing that would have broken his nose, or at the very least hurt considerably.

A beautiful sword for a beautiful warrior. He grinned at her while lowering it as she redden then giggled at his words.

I have leggings now too! 

Yes we saw them dear one. Rúmil grinned. 

Would you like your bow? Haldir held up the bow that he had made for her.

Yes! I even got an arrow holder. The others laughed.

A quiver is what holds your arrows. 

I do not have any arrows. Haldir smiled at her as he helped her put it on. 

Not until you know the basics of the bow. 

Oh, then you can put Baru and my recorder in there. She handed him the items and turned so he could place them in the quiver. And a quiver for my sword? 

A sheath for your sword a quiver for your arrows. He turned her around and started buckling the sheath around her waist. There now you are the perfect image of a warrior trainee. She beamed at him and put her sword back in its sheath. 

Now I get to give you your present. She turned and went back into her bedroom. When she returned she was carrying the same blue wrapped box that Celeborn had given her earlier in the day. I helped with it but I did not make it. Lord Celeborn said that it was still from me because I tried to make them but I did not have the right skills and it was more the thought that went into a gift than who made it. She set the box in his lap. 

That is a true statement. He examined the box briefly before he started pulling the material off of it to reveal the wood the box was made of. It had many decorations and his name largely emblazoned across it. The script was familiar to him as he had helped Zinnia with her letters enough to know her writing. He looked up to her and she smiled slightly.

I helped decorate the box. 

It is wonderful thank you. She laughed. 

You have to open it ada. 

There is more? The box is a fine gift in and of itself. He smiled at her and opened it though. Immediately he realized why her hair was shorter. Reaching up he moved his fingers down one of the brushes tracing the small sliver stars that were painted on the deep blue handles. The inside of the box was painted as well and in her script on the top of the box was the phrase 'Amin Mela Lle Ada.'

Do you like it? He looked up to her and smiled.

I love them tinuamin. Leaning forward he put his hand on her cheek. The best gift I have ever been given. She smiled at him. 

Good, now come help me with my puzzle. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ada? Haldir finished pulling the sleeping gown over her head and laid her down on her bed.

Yes my sweet? She yawned. 

When are we giving everything back? 

What do you mean? He asked confused. He pulled the blankets up to her shoulders and placed Baru under her arm. She turned on her side looking at him with heavy lidded eyes. 

Now that everyone knows that what I gave them was worthless and they bought expensive things they're mad right?. Will they want it back tomorrow? Can I stay up and play with the puzzle again if they do? He frowned realizing that she had misunderstood. 

What you gave was not worthless. 

But it did not cost anything for me I did not give as good as they gave me. Her eyes started to drift shut again. 

Worth is not determined by money price Zinnia. You put thought, time, and effort into everything you gave. That makes those presents beyond price. A small frown found its way to her face and he knew that she was still struggling with the concept. Do you want the gifts you gave back? 

No. She opened her eyes wide and looked to him. I gave them to everyone because I wanted to. Because I was thinking of them and thought they would like it. 

That is how all that gave you gifts feel, no mater what they received from you in exchange. 

But they spent so much money. Why? 

They did so because they could. They bought for you and gave you what they did because they thought that you would like it. They wanted show you that they were thinking of you as you wished to show you were thinking of them. 

Then why did they buy me something instead of drawing me a picture? He smiled and started taking her braids out. 

Would you have preferred a drawing? There was a pause and he looked to her thinking she had fallen asleep. 

I really like everything I got. I have never had a puzzle before. Or pants, or toys, or any of it. He smiled at her softly. 

Then enjoy your presents and worry not for anything else. Sleep with the knowledge that everyone you gifted today loved the present that you gave them. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. Perhaps later this week we can work on shelves to put all of your toys on. 

Ada. He looked back to her. 

Yes? 

I know . . well I know that I'm not allowed any more. . but. . just tonight. . until I fall asleep. . will you stay with me. 

Of course I will stay with you, let me go get a chair. She grabbed his hand a little tighter stopping him from leaving. 

No, on the bed. He looked to her. 

Only tonight. She nodded and grinned. And only until you fall asleep. She moved against the wall and he laid down next to her above the covers. He settled but she was unsatisfied with the arrangement and moved his arm so she could put her head on his shoulder. She shifted again and her hand went to his chest settling over his heart trapping Baru between the two of them. Good night ada. She smiled and snuggled closer to him.

Dream well my sweet. He stayed with her for a few more hours though she was asleep before he finished speaking.

===============

ada = father

tinu = daughter

toro'tinu = niece (toro' = brother tinu = daughter) literally brother daughter.

Arda = Earth (world)

Nin Kemen = Wet Earth (Nin = Wet Kemen = earth as in soil)

Baru = brown (name of the stuffed dear)

Amin mela lle ada = I love you father

Tinuamin = my daughter

A/N: Wow this chapter was looooooong! I probably could have split it up into two but I wanted to keep the whole thing together. The next chapter is probably just as long. . still working on it and hope to have it up shortly after thanksgiving. Have to see how family/work/shopping goes. Hope everyone has a great turkey day as well! 

As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter as all the others. The reviews submitted to me have been great! Thank you so much for everyone who takes the time to submit one. And thanks to everyone else for reading the story! The rest of this note is just to explain why I am doing this particular holiday and not a birthday. If interested read on! Also just to plug myself again I made a banner for the story. The url is at the top of the page.

I have decided not to do a birthday for two reasons. One, I think after thousands of years elves would tend to not hold the same significance as humans would. And though Zinnia is human the ones raising her are not. Two, I wanted to write the Winter Solstice idea. They would be too similar to write both and I had to pick one. This is the one I picked. I thought having to deal with Zinnia both giving and accepting presents would be much more interesting. 

As far as any of the holidays that I am going to have the elves celebrate they will have more of a pagan spin than Christian. They were not Christian, they believed in the Valar, which were about 14 Lords and Queens of the Valar. I think that with their relationship to nature they would be more likely to celebrate with the seasons as in most pagan religions besides. 

Now I only took the names and the most general meanings not the traditions or feelings/spiritual meanings behind the holidays. Those I will make up and will give my own meaning to. For example, gift giving on Winter solstice. As I am not Pagan and do not celebrate that holiday, therefore I do not know if giving presents is part of the Winter Solstice celebration. I hope I have not offended any, as it was not my intention. I simply didn't want to put Christmas in there, as it is in no way shape or form a holiday that would have been celebrated by the elves or even the humans of middle-earth. 


	15. Lessons Learned

Here is the correct URL for the banner. www. geocities. com/ maeluiril/ chbanner. html (remove spaces for it to work.) Again thanks to Hannah for telling me it didn't work.

Another huge thanks to Mellon1 for helping me out with this and the next chapter. Also want to thank everyone else who offered their help. 

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 15: Lessons learned 

Haldir come retrieve your daughter! Rúmil's scream was mingled with a giggle that could only come from Zinnia. Haldir sighed and closed his book, going to the patio of the telain and looking down to the forest floor. A dripping wet Rúmil was holding Zinnia upside down by her ankles. 

Ada! Zinnia pushed off Rúmil's legs and tried to look up. Haldir chuckled as he leaned against the railing.

Is something wrong Rúmil? 

I got him wet! Zinnia laughed again and put her hands against the ground moving forward, causing Rúmil to follow her. 

Child. Rúmil's strict tone was broken by his laughter as he lifted her higher pulling her hands away from the ground. Oof. . I will only be able to do this for a few more years.. She had grown in the past two years from the shy little nine year old to a very bold eleven year old. 

I had to though! Elladan said that if I did not do it, I would not be able to go to Rivendell. 

And what did he say that you must do? Haldir asked as he went down the steps. 

He said that I had to pour water over an elf. Only if I could sneak up on one, would I be good enough. Both Rúmil and Haldir frowned at that. I waited forever but I got Rúmil! Her tone was victorious and joyful. I showed them that I could do it. Haldir looked to Rúmil and he shrugged not knowing what she was talking about. Rúmil put her on the ground and she rolled to her back, looking up to Haldir. Can I go now? I know I didn't pour it on Erestor but I figured Rúmil was an elf too so it would still work. 

You were supposed to pour the water on Erestor? She nodded and stood slightly dizzy from the blood rush. Haldir steadied her as she grinned at him and practically bounced on her feet. 

Can I go tell them that I did it and I can go with them? 

With the twins. She nodded at Haldir's words. To Rivendell. She nodded again. And were you not supposed to ask me? She shook her head.

No they said that they would ask you once I had completed my tasks. 

What was your other task? Her smile slipped some. 

I. . I don't know if I should tell you. Haldir crouched down in front of her making her look down slightly.

What have I told you of secrets.

They are bad and shouldn't be kept especially if one can be harmed by it or if it harms me. . you. . well you say you but you mean me. Rúmil smirked as Haldir nodded. 

Did they tell you not to say anything? 

They said that . . . I'm not going to Rivendell am I? 

Perhaps, when you are older, but I must know what else they told you to do? 

I had to put a friend in Arwen's bed. 

A friend? asked Haldir slightly concerned.

Yes, I put Hiss there, he likes to snuggle and take a nap in the dark place under the sheets. She looked to him. They said she needed a friend and I told them that Hiss likes people. Elrohir said that Arwen would like him. Hiss was an ordinary garden snake that Zinnia had declared her pet though Haldir had only found out when she had fallen out of a tree trying to get him a small cricket for a snack. She had broken her arm but had only been concerned because her 'friend' needed to eat. Did I do something bad? Her tone was hesitant and slightly fearful. 

Arwen does not like snakes aier. She looked to Haldir and her eyes started to tear. 

It is only Hiss though. 

Dear one, Rúmil, you and I know that, but does Arwen? She shook her head slowly. 

N. . no. 

Do not fret so. We will go and retrieve hiss before Arwen finds him and then apologize. She nodded then turned to Rúmil.

I am sorry. She looked up to him and a tear fell down her cheek. 

You are forgiven by me dear one. Rúmil took a similar position to the one Haldir had been in when talking to her. Though perhaps you will show you penitence by helping me with some chores. She nodded slowly. Now a hug before you go fish for your snake. She held him tightly and he hugged her back. I am not mad at you, do not worry. 

Come Zinnia we must arrive before Arwen. Zinnia sniffed as she took Haldir's hand and they walked to the main royal telain Arwen was staying in. They were able to successfully rescue the snake from Arwen's bed. It only curled around Zinnia's small arm content to rest there as she carried her friend to safety. Once Hiss was slithering through his familiar hunting grounds, they went off to search for Arwen and complete their mission. 

"Ada I didn't mean to be bad." He looked down to her and then reached down picking her up easily. 

"I know such aier." 

"I wanted to go to Rivendell." 

"I know that as well." 

"I'm sorry." She put her arms around him and hugged him. 

"Zinnia you must think of your actions before you do them. Do you think Rúmil enjoyed the water being poured over him?" 

"He said he needed a bath anyway." Haldir smiled but she didn't see it as her head was pressed against his shoulder. 

"Yes, well that was not a bath."

"It was a shower." Haldir had to hold back his laugh. 

"Be that as it may, I believe he wished to take a proper bath. Would Erestor have liked it?"

"I'm guessing no." 

"I think you would have guessed right, and Arwen would not have enjoyed finding Hiss in her bed either." 

"I thought she wanted a friend." 

"Perhaps she does, but one should always ask before entering another's private rooms or home."

"She wasn't there."

"Then you should have waited until she was and asked if you could enter. As well as asking if she would like to befriend Hiss." 

"But we went and got Hiss when she wasn't there."

"Yes, and we are going to both apologize for entering her rooms uninvited." Zinnia bit her lip as she heard that the tears threatening to fall faster at getting him in trouble too. She decided she would take all the blame and punishment. 

They found Arwen in a glade near the middle of the city. She was sitting with Galadriel, Celeborn and Erestor. Haldir could feel Zinnia's mounting tension and anxiety but knew it would be best to get this over with now than to drag it out. He set her down then put his hand on her shoulder and continued walking into the glade. 

Haldir, Zinnia it is good to see you both today. Galadriel greeted them and all the others looked. 

Yes, I believe Zinnia has something she would like to say to Lady Arwen. Haldir gave her a soft nudge and she took a step forward towards Arwen.

And what would that be child? Arwen smiled slightly confused but warmly to the girl in front of her. 

I'm sorry. She started sobbing. "I thought Hiss would like you and they said that you needed a friend then he likes covers and you weren't there. Don't be mad at Ada! He only did it because of me." Anything else she said was unrecognizable in any language as she started hiccupping making it hard for her to talk. All of the elves in the glade looked to Haldir obviously confused as to what she was apologizing for. Haldir only crouched down and hugged her before picking her up in his embrace and allowing her to burry her head in his chest continuing to cry. 

Would you care to . . fill in the details? asked Celeborn. Haldir smiled slightly before explaining everything to them. Celeborn and Galadriel were both highly upset to learn of the twins' behavior. The twins were known as tricksters but for them to use a child, Haldir knew they were going to be in trouble. Arwen tried to tell Zinnia that all was well but she only succeeded in making Zinnia cry even harder. After Haldir reassured Arwen that it would be better to speak with her tomorrow he left the glade his tunic soaked through and Zinnia still crying. 

He started singing softly as he carried her back home. Her sobs slowly started to stop as well as her tears. By the time he was climbing his steps her breathing was even and deep. She had fallen asleep on him. Still humming he laid her down on her bed and took off her boots and outer tunic before tucking her under the covers. He grabbed Baru and put him in her arms before pulling the covers over her.

Rest well my sweet. He kissed her forehead and left the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was fast approaching and Zinnia still hadn't woken up. Haldir checked on her and pulled the covers she had kicked off back up to her neck. There was a soft knock at the door and he sighed. Deciding to leave her to her rest until the last possible moment he left the room closing the door to a crack and then answering his main door.

What do the two of you wish? Elladan and Elrohir were there both looking extremely uncomfortable under Haldir's heated gaze. 

We have come to apologize.

To the little one, for our actions.

It was only a joke. Haldir raised an eyebrow at them. He remembered when they were still elflings and they would come on visits to the woods. They had only managed to cause more trouble then.

She is sleeping, the crying has worn her out. They both looked down ashamed but Haldir took a step back. Please come in I will be waking her shortly for dinner besides. 

We also came to invite you to dinner, you and your daughter both. Haldir nodded and motioned for them to sit. 

Thank you for your invitation. I shall have to ask if she wishes to accept. 

We did not mean any harm. He looked to the twin that had spoken. 

We thought it would be funny. 

Meant to or not you have caused harm in your foolishness. Haldir's tone was harsher than he had intended it to be but he settled himself. She does not understand. 

Atada has told us of. . of her circumstances. 

We swear we did not wish to hurt her. Haldir was about to respond but was cut of by a loud scream from Zinnia's room. Without even looking to the others, he ran to her.

ADA! He pulled her into a hug and she practically clamped on to him.

I am here. 

"I'm sorry. . I'll be good I swear, I swear don't leave. Don't leave me." 

"I will not, I am here. I am here." 

"I didn't mean . . I killed him I killed him. I told him I would protect him but I put him there to die. Don't hate me, please, I'll be better." 

"Shhh, it was just a dream. You were dreaming aier none are dead." 

"But. . b. . but Hiss. . we didn't save him. It's m my fault. . my fault." 

"My sweet we did retrieve him. Remember we went to Arwen's room and pulled him from her bed before she got there." She shook her head and pushed against his shoulder another wail ripping from her. 

"You said you couldn't live with a killer!" She pulled on him more tangling her hands around his hair in a painful grip. He winced slightly but his only reaction was to hold her closer. "Don't leave me." Her tone was desperate and frightened. 

"A nightmare my little one. I love you and I will never leave you." She broke down in sobs again still clutching to him tightly and mumbling about how sorry she was between tears. He moved her so she was situated better on his lap and she screamed thinking he was trying to push away from her. 

"Please! Please I tried to stop him, I tried but he kept hitting and hitting him. He was so big I tried. I didn't want him to die. I swear I swear please Ada don't hate me. Don't leave too. I'm sorry." Haldir frowned and pulled the hysterical child closer. She hadn't had the nightmare of her brother's death for a while now. He looked up seeing the twins at the doorway.

Leave, we will not be making it to dinner. 

Haldir we. His own anger snapped at the twin.

You did not think! She had done nothing to you and look what you have done to her. You best thank the Valar that nothing did happen to that snake or she would be inconsolable. I hope you realize that you have broken her trust. Years of progress shattered because two immature elves wanted to trick their teacher and sister. Get out of my home. One was about to say something when the other grabbed his arm and shook his head before leading both of them out. 

"Ada I'm sorry." Haldir's attention immediately went back to Zinnia at the frightened tone.

"You have been forgiven for what you have done today, and there is nothing else to forgive." He stood and she whimpered holding on to him. "Hush I will never leave you. I love you, you are safe and wanted." Walking out to the main room he sat in the chair and started rubbing her back and kept whispering reassurances to her. It had been months since she had been this upset over anything. When her tears slowed and her breathing became even again he pulled her back to meet her eyes. "Do you wish to tell me of your dream sweetling?" 

"No." She sniffed and pressed her head against his shoulder. She moved closer and curled into him. He started stroking her hair and she sighed relaxing into him. 

"It always helped you before." He felt her shake her head against him. "It was only a nightmare my Zia. There is no reason to be frightened of it now that you are awake." For a while none said anything. Haldir kept his soothing motions over her hair and she would occasionally shift slightly trying to move closer.

"You said you didn't want me." When she finally spoke her tone was almost whispered and her words accompanied by her hands fisting in his tunic. 

"That is not true." He said softly. 

"It. . it was just a dream?" 

"Yes aier, only a dream." 

"It was too real." He felt the shutter through her and wrapped his arms around her a little tighter before putting his cheek on her head.

"Sometimes dreams can be." She started playing with some of his hair and he smiled resituating both of them. 

"Hiss died because I put him there and. . and Alar said I killed Hiss, just like I killed him." 

"But Hiss is not dead, and you are not to blame for your brother's death." She looked up to him and he smiled at her softly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Alar knows this and he would never blame you either." She sighed and closed her eyes leaning into his hand in a show of affection and trust. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before she moved and lay against him again. 

"Ada I'm scared," she said after a while of just laying with him.

"Of what Zia?" She nuzzled his neck and wrapped her arms around him. 

"I don't want you to leave me." 

"I will never leave you permanently. I may have to spend time away from you, but you will always see me again." 

"No. I want to be with you forever." 

"Forever is longer than you imagine. One day you will wish to be rid of me."

"Never," she said shocked and tried to pull him closer though it was impossible. He smiled and put his cheek back against her head. 

"Never is also a very long time." 

"I love you Ada, I never want to leave you." 

"I love you too aieramin." He peeled her back so they could look at each other. "But eventually your wants will change, as you grow." She shook her head.

"Then I don't want to grow." She looked at him with moist eyes her cheeks red and tear streaked. 

"But you must." He smiled and wiped a few more of her tears away. "Know that I will always be here for you though. No matter the year, no matter your worries. We may part but eventually we will always be reunited." She sniffed and blinked at him still not understanding him. Still refusing to even think about ever leaving the one person in her life that always brought her safety. "That will come later. Now, are you hungry? It is nearing dinner and you have slept through lunch." She nodded. "Then there is enough time for you to wash before we eat." 

"I took a bath yesterday," she said frowning. 

"And you shall take one today."

"I didn't get dirty at all!" 

"Oh?" He held up her hand and inspected it seeing the dirt under her fingernails. The only way the child on his lap ever remained clean was if she took a bath before going to bed. Even then it only lasted until she woke the next morning. She sighed and pulled her hand away.

"I am not dirty enough to have to take a bath." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him as if daring to refute the statement. 

"Well then it leaves us with a choice. You can either take a bath before dinner and then after dinner we can go to the gazing platform and watch the stars." She smiled at him obviously excited. "Or you can not take a bath until after dinner. Of course by the time we are done with the dishes and going over the lesson Suvel gave you for the day, not to mention also taking your bath it will be too late to do such." 

"Fine I will take a bath before dinner." She sighed. "The lesson is not that hard though. I have it done." 

"You do?" 

"Yes," she said proudly. 

"Then we will go over it together after dinner." 

"Why do I have to wash if I am just going to get dirty again? Wouldn't it be easier to just . . not?" 

"You would smell as an orc!" He tickled her and she laughed trying to get away from his hands. He laughed and righted her when she almost fell off both him and the chair. 

"But you would still love me." She had a half formed smile on her face but questioning in her eyes.

"Aye I would but my nose would not." She grinned at him and he set her down so she was standing. "Now off to the bath with you." She leaned up and hugged him before kissing him on the cheek.

"Will you braid my hair?" 

"Yes, go and I will make dinner." She smiled and ran back to the bathroom. He went to the kitchen and started pulling out the necessary things to fix a simple dinner. 

"I forgot my clothes." He heard her run back to her room and grinned. When she was done there she ran back to the bathroom. The door closed and then opened again before footsteps padded to him. "What are we having for dinner?" He sighed and looked down to the girl.

"I should not have let you sleep so long." She only grinned at him and bounced on her feet slightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'I'd rather be swimming.' Zinnia thought with a small frown as she continued to wash the tunic in her hands. She sighed and wiped her forehead before leaning back down. Doing his wash had been the chores Rúmil had wanted help with. Not that she minded all that much. The problem was normally at this time she would be able to practice archery, but she couldn't today. Or for two more weeks as the rest of her punishment was no training for that time period. 

Instead Suvel had given her more work to complete. Secretly she didn't mind the extra work, the lack of training bothered her more but she wouldn't tell Haldir that. Finishing the shirt, she rung it out and threw it back in the basket before grabbing something else that needed to be clean. Seeing a pair of legs, she looked up with a grin expecting to see Rúmil but instead it was one of the twins. The grin left her face and she snatched another article of clothing angrily, starting to clean it. 

We have come to apologize. The voice came from behind her and she figured it was the other one. She was slightly embarrassed they had seen her cry last night, just as she was embarrassed she cried in front of the others. That and that she had been so inexcusably stupid to believe the two. Haldir had always told her not to speak in anger for many things could be said that were not meant. It was the reason she was not talking now. 

We did . . we did not mean to cause such harm. Her hands fisted into the shirt she was washing but still she ignored them. 

Are you not going to speak with us? 

It seems she is not brother. They walked around her. Perhaps you would like some help? 

No, I do not wish for your help or your company. She reached over and grabbed the towel one of the twins had and put it back on the dirty pile. 

It will go faster if you have help. 

I do not care. This is my punishment, go find your own. The one still standing laughed and the anger in Zinnia boiled a little higher. 

Let us help aier and then.

Do not call me that! She screamed causing them to quiet. You have no right to call me that. You have no right! She stood up and glared at the elves that were still at least three feet taller than her. Ada and my uncles, and my friends can call me that. You can not. 

We are sorry that you got in trouble. 

I do not care that I got in trouble. I care that I did something bad. 

You did not do anything bad. It was just a joke. 

A joke? I poured the water on my uncle, and. .well that did not really matter because well. . he's my uncle, but Hiss? Hiss matters. Hiss matters more than that. Why did you not tell me Arwen does not like snakes? 

We did not because. . 

Because you knew I would not do it then! I promised Hiss that I would protect him because he is my friend. Then. . then I put him in that bed and if Arwen had found him, he could have been hurt. That would have been my fault, not to mention telling me that it was allowable to enter her room. 

But your friend did not get hurt. She looked to the one that had spoken and glared. 

He could have. She crossed her arms over her chest. You think just because I am young that I do not understand. I do understand though. I understand lies and hurt and. . and pain. I understand all of that. I understand what it is to loose a loved one because you could not protect them, do you? 

Yes, said one lowering his gaze. 

I do not believe you. If you did you would never have. . have betrayed me like you did, you would not have put me in the position to have it happen again. You said you were my friends, you said that you wanted me to come visit your home, you. . you both lied. You almost made me loose my best friend . . and. . . . and if I would have lost Ada because I believed you I. . I. . She turned her back on them her tears starting to fall not being able to finish her thought. 

We are truly sorry. Elrohir reached out to touch her shoulder. When he made contact she jumped from him and turned her eyes wide and startled. 

"Don't touch me!" she screamed. She took a step back and fell on her butt with a small grunt. 

"Are you injured child?" Concerned he moved forward to help her up but stopped when she cringed from his hand. He slowly pulled his hand away from her when he saw the fear in her eyes. 

"We would never hurt you," said Elladan as his brother backed away from the girl. 

"I believed you and you lied to me. How does that not hurt me? Liars always hurt, they always cause pain. Always! He always lied to me, always lied, lies!" 

"We are sorry." 

"We honestly meant no harm." 

I no longer trust your words. Go away! I told you to leave, do so. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face between them. She didn't hear them leave but she figured they had as there were no foreign sounds in the clearing. 

Zia I have found more soap… Rúmil trailed off as he entered the small clearing seeing her silently crying. She tried to wipe her eyes clear but there was no hiding the evidence of her tears. 

I will need it. She moved back over and started washing the shirt she had abandoned. Hands closed over hers and she stopped.

What is wrong dear one? 

Nothing. 

Nothing does not bring tears to one's eyes. She slouched further, a few more tears falling. Do you wish me to retrieve Haldir? She shook her head not wanting to bother Haldir for something she felt was her fault. Then will you tell me? 

I am mad, she answered. 

At the twins? 

Them and myself. I. . why did I believe them? She wiped her face with her hands again. I could have lost everything. Ada would hate me if I failed. He wrapped his arms around her and she moved wrapping hers around him. 

I know for a fact that your Ada could never hate you. He loves you, you are his daughter. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. Do not let those two children shake your faith in that knowledge. He moved and kissed her temple. It is an unchangeable fact. 

But I embarrassed him in front of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel for what I did, and also Lady Arwen and the others. I do not want him to be ashamed of me, for what I have done or have not done. Rúmil smiled slightly and pulled her back to look at her.

Dear you could run off and bond to an orc and he would not be ashamed of you. 

I do not want to bond to an orc. She made a face and he smiled even more. 

My meaning is that nothing you do or any action you may or may not have taken will ever shame your Ada. He is so proud of you. We all are. 

Even when I do something bad? Even when I could have gotten Hiss hurt. . or. . or worse? 

You did nothing malicious, misguided, but not intending harm on any. It was a mistake, all make mistakes. 

Everyone? 

Everyone. He smiled and moved them so they were sitting. We must learn from them so not to repeat them. That is the challenge with mistakes. 

Then I learned not to trust anyone I do not know. 

Ah, that could be one view, though perhaps the lesson is that you should trust. 

I do not understand. Rúmil smiled at her. 

I wonder, when they told you to pour water over Erestor what was your first thought? 

That . . he might not like it. 

But then the twins talked you into doing it any way. She nodded. Did you have the same doubts about placing Hiss in Arwen's room? 

Yes, but they said that it was what she wanted. Who am I supposed to learn to trust? 

You must learn to trust yourself. 

Myself? 

Yes, you had a doubt, which is usually an indicator that it would be wise to seek council on an action before it is taken. 

I have to think on my actions, Ada has told me. 

Not only think but also trust that you are making the correct decision regarding them. 

What if I do that and still make the wrong one? 

Then you must learn from it so you will not repeat it. That is how one gains wisdom, it is how you learn. She wiped her face again and nodded understanding. Now, let us finish these so you will not be late to lunch with Lady Arwen. 

=========

Ada = Father

Baru = Brown (stuffed dear)

Atada = Grandfather

Aieramin = my little one


	16. Friends and Feasts

_If you skipped over chapter 15 go back and read it!! I replaced the authors note with a real chapter. If you don't you will probably be confused._

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Thanks to Mellon1 for looking over this chapter for me!

Chapter 16: Friends and Feasts

Dresses are stupid. Arwen smiled slightly. 

I have grown accustomed to them, though when I was your age I used to wear tunics and leggings as well. Arwen offered Zinnia another pastry which she took and started eating. Much easier to climb trees in leggings. Zinnia nodded her head emphatically agreeing though she couldn't speak. It had taken some coaxing to get the girl in front of her to open up, but once she did there was no going back. 

Do you know archery and sword fighting too? Zinnia wiped her mouth off with the sleeve of her tunic leaving a large smear of the fruit filling on her clothing before taking another large bite of the sweet she had in her hand. 

Yes, my brothers taught me. The face Zinnia had made at the mention of the twins didn't go unnoticed. They are very protective and caring. Even if at times their maturity can be called into question. 

Well Ada is teaching me and he is better than your brothers. Your brothers are mean and selfish. I don't like them. 

At times I can say they annoy me as well. Know that they are truly sorry for what they have done. Have they not apologized to you?

They. . . tried. I do not want to hear any more lies. 

They are not lying when they say they are sorry. 

I do not care. Arwen held back her urge to sigh. The truth was she had not seen her brothers this distressed in a long time. She had been there when they returned from Haldir's the night before. They immediately went to spar, something they only did when highly upset or angry. If she was any judge, she would have to say that they felt ashamed of what they had done more than anything. On one hand, she was glad that the girl in front of her had stood up to them, on the other she hated to see either of her brothers in pain. 

Then you do not plan on forgiving them. 

They could have made me kill . . . no I am not going to forgive them because words are just words. They tricked me. 

Yes but their purpose was not mean it was in jest. A poor attempt at such a thing but still in jest. They did not mean to hurt you.

They did. 

Yes, they did. Know that they are hurting themselves for that very fact. I am not trying to excuse their behavior, for it was wrong, but they know that. Others have forgiven you for what you have done; perhaps you can find it in you to forgive them for what they have done. Zinnia shrugged and took another bite of the pastry. I know they have wronged you but they wish to make repairs. 

I do not know if I can, they. . Hiss is my best friend. He trusts me, he let me take him, and he believes that I will protect him. He could have been hurt because of me. I promised him that I would not let any one hurt him. I could not promise Alar that but I promised Hiss and . . and. . She jumped when Arwen wiped the stray tear that had fallen off her cheek. 

I am sorry aier, I forgot you do not like such things. Arwen pulled her hand back. She had been with the twins when their grandparents were scolding them. The short version of what had befallen the child next to her had been told. It had been enough.

It is not. . Zinnia sighed and finished the pastry. Arwen only smiled slightly and handed her some more water. I do not know if I can do it. What if I do and they still do something mean to me or one I love again? I do not know if I should let them near me again. Maybe I am being selfish but I am not letting someone else I love die! 

You are not being selfish you are being cautious. It is understandable to feel that way after what has been done to you. Zinnia looked down to her hands and fidgeted. She didn't have the words to tell any how betrayed she felt by the two elves. How angry she was at them and how angry she was at herself for believing them. The fact that she could have gotten Hiss killed, frightened her more than anything she had known in years. Emotions were warring and she didn't like the uneasy feeling that it caused in her. 

While I do not have the empathy of my Grandmother I do have some knowledge of what you are feeling. Arwen sighed slightly. I as well as the twins lost a loved one and can know some of your pain. Zinnia looked up slightly surprised. Our mother was captured by orcs. She had injuries that she could not. . that none here could heal.

Did she die? 

No, no she sailed west, but was lost to us just the same. Elrohir and Elladan, they blame themselves for not finding her sooner. For not escorting her party to the city as was their normal routine.

They did not do it though. It was not their fault. Arwen smiled softly.

No. That fact does not stop them from blaming themselves though. The guilt they feel is born out of grief of loosing one that they held so dear. Their feelings of loss have given way to feelings of self-doubt and self blame. Their thoughts focus on what could have been, what if they had been there, what if this or the other.

Those thoughts hurt. 

They do. 

Ada says that sometimes bad things happen and there is nothing that could have been done to change them.

As my Ada told us, as is truth. Arwen held out a napkin and Zinnia took it wiping her face though most of the mess had already been wiped on her sleeve. They still think that had they been there they could have stopped our mother's pain. 

Sometimes I wish that I would have died and Alar was here instead. Arwen wanted to lean forward and put her hand on Zinnia's head. She held herself back though knowing she would need to seek permission. Then when Ada and I are reading or when he is painting with me, I am glad that I am here. Does that make me bad? 

No. It is normal to feel that way. Silence fell between them for a few moments. 

I do not want to be bad like him. Zinnia pulled her knees to her chest and sighed. I am human but I am not bad. Even with her elvin hearing Arwen had trouble hearing that statement.

Your race does not automatically sway your actions aier. 

I try to be good like everyone but I am not like them. 

Your differences do not make you bad. Just as your race does not make you bad. Zinnia moved her head and looked to Arwen but put it back down on her knees. 

Can you show me how to braid my hair like yours? 

Yes. Arwen smiled and Zinnia returned it. 

Will I have to wear a dress at the feast?

It is formal. Zinnia sighed and frowned. 

Dresses are stupid just like baths. 

Bathing is an important part of a daily routine. 

You sound like Ada. Arwen smiled again as Zinnia leaned back and supported herself with her hands. I will try to forgive your brothers. She was looking at her feet as she started to move them so they banged together. But I can not promise that I will do more than try. 

It is all that can be asked of you. 

Do you think if I told Ada I would try to wear a dress, he would let me wear leggings instead? Arwen laughed.

Do you think he would let you?

No. Zinnia sighed and flopped back on the ground. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor's head snapped up from his reading when he heard the ear splitting sound of wood scraping against wood. Annoyed, he slammed his book shut and stood intending to find the person making the noise and tell them to leave. He had gone to the library to find some quiet from the twins; he did not intend to put up with anyone else. Mentally he started working on some scathing comments he could use when he finally found the culprit. All of which vanished when he saw who was making the noise. 

Do you require assistance my Lady? The girl jumped surprised. I am sorry, I did not mean to frighten you. 

I was not scared! Just. . surprised. He walked over to her.

Can I help you? 

I need the book on the top shelf. The red one. Suvel would get it for me normally but she was needed somewhere else and Ada says I am old enough to be in the library alone. 

Old enough but perhaps not tall enough? 

That is why I pulled the chair so I could reach it. 

Would you be able to reach it? Zinnia shrugged her shoulders. 

I was going to try and if not then. . then I would choose another book to write my report on. 

You could have asked me for help. He looked to her raising his eyebrows and she looked down to her feet.

I did not want to bother you. It looked like you were enjoying your book. I do not think you even heard me enter the library. She looked back up to him a small blush highlighting her features. I know that I dislike when I am interrupted during a good part in a book. Not that I think you are me but I thought if I was you, not that I am you. 

I understand your meaning. He smiled at her and she returned it though she was slightly hesitant. The red one you said? She nodded. 

I have been reading that one for weeks now. It is very hard. I have to look up most of the words because I do not know what they mean. Erestor reached up and picked the book off the shelf glancing at the title. 

You chose to do your report on Fëanor? He looked back to her. Perhaps you should try something a little more understandable. 

I understand it. Her tone was defensive. It just takes me a little longer than you. 

Child, I did not mean my words as an insult. I am sorry if you felt that they were. My meaning was his actions, you should find something more understandable in regards to why they did what they did. 

I think I know why he did it. 

Why is that? 

Melkor killed his father. The jewels were just a reason to go to get others to follow him. The real reason was the death of his father, he wanted revenge. I. . I could understand that. Erestor paused for a moment as the girl studied her feet again. 

Then perhaps it would be better if you focused on a smaller part of the story rather than the large part. She looked up to him. When is your report due? 

In two weeks. I have to give it to Suvel with no mistakes and it has to be at least six pages long. 

That is a large report. She shrugged slightly.

It is because I, a blush stole over her features again, because I was bad earlier. I can no longer train until I have this done. I thought that if I chose a hard book it would be better than choosing an easy one. 

How far are you in the book you currently hold? 

Chapter six. They are starting to gather to march out of Valinor. Erestor looked to the book and frowned. It had to be at least forty chapters. The girl would never finish it in time for the report. She was just setting herself up to fail in penance for her guilt. 

Does Suvel or your father know the book you chose? She shook her head.

They said I could do whatever book I wanted. 

You do realize that you will never finish that book in two weeks, let alone write a report on it. 

I will just have to work extra hard! 

Again I did not mean to insult you. She stared up at him defiantly.

Will you please give me my book? He crouched down and held it out. 

Here child. He held it a little further when she hesitated in approaching him. Slowly she reached out and took it from him and backed up a step. I will be here until dinner. If you have any questions please come ask me. I will do my best to answer you. He stood and walked by her going back to his desk. The scraping sound was heard again and he winced but opened his book to where he had been. 

It was hours later when he heard the sniffing. Looking up he saw Zinnia standing just at the edge of peripheral sight as if she was scared to approach him. Tears were falling down her face and he was holding the book she was reading to her chest. He frowned as she blinked at him.

This book is a lie right? 

A lie? 

This did not happen. I do not believe it. It is a lie. 

Will you show me what you think is false? She walked up to the table and opened the book. He realized what was wrong when he saw the illustration of the burning boats. 

Elves do not hurt each other. They do not. They do not hurt anyone but orcs. 

I am sad to say that this did happen. It is a darker moment in our history but the kinslayings are truth. Fëanor needed the boats and in his quest to get the jewels back he attacked the Teleri to have theirs. 

Why? Why? He could have made his own boats. Why did he do it? 

It is not known. The reasons for his actions can only be guessed by those who now live and know the events. My opinion is that his grief of loosing his father in such a horrific way along with his want for the stones made him slightly mad. He was not thinking clearly any longer. The only thing that drove him was his quest and he was willing to sacrifice anything to get what he wanted. 

But elves. . do not. If elves do it too then. . then. She started crying again. 

Come here child. Will you allow me to comfort you or do you wish for your father? Her answer was to walk into his arms. He smiled and lifted her on his lap as he wiped her face with the cloth of his robe. 

I thought elves never hurt anyone that did not deserve it. 

We strive not to. Though sometimes mistakes are made. Fëanor made his mistake when he swore to retrieve the jewels at any cost. He allowed his sons to make the same choice though most of them eventually learned that it was in fact a mistake. Some tried to correct it and others regretted it terribly.

This book holds the truth; it is part of elves just as Valinor is. We must accept the bad with the good, but know that we have learned from it. Kinslaying now is the greatest crime that an elf can commit. Fëanor and later his sons were punished for their behavior. It was wrong and it was against everything elves are. 

Humans are like that though. I remember seeing it. 

Not all of them. He touched her cheek softly. Not all of them are, perhaps the ones you were surrounded by. This is a difficult issue. Humans are not elves, they do not have the same traits nor spirit that elves do. That does not make humans bad or wrong, it just makes them not elves. 

I do not want to be a human. 

Do not say that; never wish to be anything other than what you are. You must embrace your heritage as it is you. I embrace being an elf as that is me. 

Elves are better than humans. 

Better? she nodded. That is not true. We may have better eyesight or hearing, perhaps even longer lives but that does not make us more than a human. Again it only makes us different. Humans have a strong spirit, stronger than elves. 

Stronger than elves? The disbelief in her voice made him smile. 

I have seen men fight with a passion that would rival any elf and I have seen them survive trauma that would have killed any elf. You can not compare the two races for the only thing you would be able to measure is what is on the surface. That is nothing compared to what lies underneath. She sniffed and nodded slowly accepting his answer. Now, do you still think this book would be logical to choose for a report due in only a few weeks. 

No. 

Then we must choose another book. 

We? 

If you would like my help I would be more than happy to give it. 

But you were reading your own book. I should not have bothered you. 

It is never a bother to help one learn. I enjoy teaching, it has been a long while since I have been able to help such a young mind grow. He smiled at her and she returned it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia put your dress down. 

I can't walk in it when it is longer than me Ada! 

You will wrinkle the material if you hold it bunched to your knees aier. 

Wrinkles. Zinnia rolled her eyes and dropped the dress.

I heard that. 

You always hear. He chuckled and reached down picking her up under her arms. She giggled as he hoisted her up. 

I hear because I am the father! He blew a raspberry on her neck and she practically squealed trying to pull way from him. Besides you look very lovely in a dress. 

You said I looked lovely in my leggings. 

You do. 

Then why can I not wear those? He smiled and shifted her so she was against his hip as he walked.

We wear formal clothing to show respect. You do not want to be disrespectful do you? 

No. Her tone was sullen though. 

It is only for a night. I promise tomorrow you can wear leggings again. 

Always? 

Until the next time you are required to wear a dress. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. It is only for one night. He laughed when she stuck her tongue out at him. You must watch aier or else one will steal your tongue! He reached up to grab it and she laughed turning her head away. 

Ada what is an escort?

An escort? 

Yes, I heard Rúmil say he was going to ask Varwen to be her escort but Orophin said that a balrog would have a better chance tiptoeing through Rivendell. Rúmil then told Orophin to shove an orc blade up his.

I think I can guess the rest of the conversation, and remind me to talk to your uncles. 

Well I told Varwen and she laughed and said that Orophin was just jealous because he would have to go alone.

Yes.

But I heard Trelian say that Orophin was sexy and she would go with him. What is sexy? 

Valar, how can elves be so loud? 

They weren't yelling as loud as Rúmil and Orophin were. 

I doubt it, at times your uncles act younger than you.

Does that mean I can tell them to go to bed? Haldir chuckled.

No. She slouched slightly. But you can tell them to eat all of the vegetables tonight. She smiled at that. To answer your question, sexy is a term one would use to denote attraction.

Attraction? Haldir sighed not really wanting to have this conversation before a formal feast where she would only ask more and more questions. 

Sexual attraction, is. . well a feeling one would have for another if they wanted to become involved in a relationship that progresses beyond friendship. 

Like bonding? 

That is one type yes.

So Trelian wants to bond to Orophin? 

Not. . necessarily, no she may simply wish to spend more time with him and get to know him better. It is an attraction between ones that you love beyond family and friends. Ones who are special to you. One of the many emotions that a bonded pair would feel toward each other. 

Oh, then what is an escort? 

In the way Rúmil meant it an escort is a companion for one during special occasions such as feasts or dances. 

Will you allow me the honor of being your escort for the evening Lord Haldir? He looked to her and smiled. I heard Rúmil practicing. 

The honor would be completely mine my lady. 

Am I supposed to give you a flower? Rúmil was worried on taking a flower or not. Haldir laughed then.

Yes he would be. I would much rather give you a flower. He leaned over and picked one before continuing on the path. It will even match your dress. She turned her head and he placed it in one of her braids. 

Does this mean you will dance with me? 

If you would like to. 

Yes, and I will dance with Lord Celeborn. 

Will you? She nodded.

You have to dance with Lady Galadriel though so she does not get mad at me. 

She will not be angry aier. 

Can I dance with Erestor? I like him. She scratched her nose and he smiled. 

You will have to ask him. 

Are you going to dance with Arwen?

Perhaps. 

I like her she is very nice and pretty. She showed me how to braid my hair. 

That was very nice of her. 

Ada, Suvel wants to know why you have not found a bond mate yet. You should ask to bond to Arwen. He looked to Zinnia who had a resolute expression on her face. 

It is more complicated than that. 

Why? Haldir had to hold back his grimace. He knew he would have to keep a close eye on her tonight or she would take the initiative and ask Arwen herself. Stopping he set her down and kneeled in front of her fixing her dress. 

Aier to find a bond mate is . . well it is normally a very lengthy and involved process. Zinnia tilted her head in an obvious sign of confusion. The two must love each other, and though I value and respect Arwen as a friend, I do not love her in the way that is necessary to bond to her. 

Why? 

I do not know aier. The heart is one thing that can not be logically defined. 

How do you know that you have found the one you want to be your bond mate? 

That is hard to explain as well. The feelings you have towards the other will let you know. You are still too young to know of such emotions. 

Will I ever find a bond mate? 

We will see in time, but I do not know the answer to that question now. 

Will you ever find a bond mate? 

I do not believe I will on these shores aier. 

You will when you go to Valinor? 

Perhaps, that time is far into the future and there is no reason to worry for it now. When you get a little older you will understand more. 

You say that all the time. When is older old enough? He smiled. 

When it is enough. Zinnia sighed and Haldir laughed standing before she could protest or ask another question. Come aier else we will be late. She grabbed his hand and they started climbing the steps. 

Dinner was a large affair. The final dinner before the Lord and Lady's grandchildren as well as the rest of the visitors from Rivendell left. Normally Haldir would have been seated at the table to the left of the Lord and Lady befitting his status as march warden. Now though he was seated at the high table with Zinnia, both guests of the Lord and Lady. Otherwise they would have been in the front tables with the other citizens. 

Zinnia do not. 

Orophin started it. Haldir sighed and looked over at the guard table and caught Orophin quickly pulling in his tongue. Giving a warning glare at Orophin he turned back to Zinnia. 

It is not polite to do such, Orophin should know better and now you do as well. 

I am hungry, when do we eat? 

Soon, the Lord and Lady must enter and then there will be a speech. 

Not a long one? Like when Rúmil said his poem, that took longer than an age! A few around the table chuckled and Haldir smiled. 

It will not take that long. 

Where is Arwen? 

She will be here when the Lord and Lady enter. 

She has to wear a dress too right?

Yes. 

Good, she said she did not mind dresses but I think that is because she is a princess. Why are the boys dresses called robes and my dress is a dress? There was more laughter. 

Robes are not dresses. 

Well they look like dresses. 

Tunics and leggings are worn under robes aier. 

Why do you get to wear leggings under your dress and I can not? 

As I said before robes are not dresses. Now quiet for a few moments until after the speech. 

Yes Ada. When the Lord and Lady entered all stood as a show of respect. They smiled and nodded going to their seats the Rivendell elves, which consisted of their grandchildren and Erestor behind them. True to her word she stayed silent during Lord Celeborn's speech though she started fidgeting after a few minutes. 

Dinner itself passed by with little incident. Haldir was slightly worried as it was Zinnias first real formal feast. She sat quietly talking to him and the other elves around her for the most part though. Dancing started after the meal was served. Zinnia pulled him out on to the dance floor excited to be able to learn something new. He couldn't help but smile at the child who was stepping on his feet as he moved around the floor. After dancing for a few songs they sat back down for a short rest. 

Ada can I go see Lady Galadriel? 

Of course, let me see your hands first. She held them out and he wiped off the fruit juice she had managed to get all over her. There. He helped her off the chair and watched as she made her way down the table to her current target.

Child how fares your evening? 

Very good lady Galadriel. She paused a moment and Galadriel smiled feeling her curiosity. Do you think Lord Celeborn is sexy? Galadriel laughed merrily as did the others that heard the question. Haldir's only reaction was to redden slightly and close his eyes mentally cursing his brothers and she-elves. 

Well my wife, do not let the child's curiosity go unsatisfied. Celeborn smiled at Galadriel. 

Come here little Zinnia. Zinnia smiled and moved up into Galadriel's open arms sitting on her lap. Now first I must ask where you heard such sentiments. 

I heard Trelian say that about uncle Orophin. Galadriel smiled. Ada said it is one part of what bonded pairs feel for each other but then he said that Trelian may not wish to bond to Orophin. I do not understand and you said I could ask you questions. 

Yes, I did at that. 

Ada also said that it is when you are attracted to another. 

There are many emotions behind that one simple word, and to answer your question yes I find my husband very sexy. 

Because you are bonded? 

I found him that before we bonded. You do not have to bond to one to find them attractive. Galadriel laughed at the expression on Zinnia's face. This all still confuses you does it not? Zinnia nodded. You will not appreciate this answer but you will understand when you are older. 

I am older than when I first asked Ada. Galadriel smiled and Celeborn chuckled. 

Ah little one, these are sentiments of grown-ups and you are still a child are you not? Zinnia looked to Celeborn. 

I am eleven. Her tone was offended and he smiled at her.

No longer a child but not yet an adult aier. 

Not yet an adult. She agreed but crossed her arms over her chest. I will understand when I am an adult? 

You will understand when your body and your mind deem you ready to understand. A few more years will see to that I believe. Zinnia looked back up to Galadriel and smiled. Now go dance with your Ada as I believe your uncles will thank you for his distraction. She helped Zinnia off her lap and the child immediately ran over to Haldir.

At least this time it was not one of ours to ask the difficult questions in the middle of a feast. Galadriel laughed and turned to look at Celeborn who was watching Haldir take Zinnia off to the dance floor. 

~~~~~~~~

Erestor watched the dancers with a small smile and took another sip of his wine. A tugging on his robes caused him to look down spotting Zinnia as the culprit. She was shifting her on her feet from side to side and looked decidedly nervous about something.

Can I help you aier?

Will you dance with me? He smiled.

Of course, I would be honored. She grinned and took his hand as they moved out on the dance floor. 

Ada lets me step on his feet like this. She moved and put her feet on Erestor's and looked up. I do not know all of the steps. 

It is a good way to learn. He spun her around and she giggled happily. 

I wanted to thank you for helping me with my report. 

You are very much welcome. I enjoyed our time together. She nodded and bit her bottom lip. 

I am going to miss you when you leave tomorrow. The music turned to a slower song and Erestor picked her up continuing to dance. 

I will miss you as well, you are a very bright student. She blushed and he smiled. 

Then stay and be my bond mate. Erestor looked to her surprised. I do not know what sexy is but when I get older I will know and I like you not like I like my uncles and Ada but. 

Child. 

I am _not_ a child. 

You are right, you are not a child. Would you like to take a walk with me? We need to talk for a short moment and then perhaps some cake?

Cake! I like cake. Does it have icing on it? Suvel made me a cake with yellow icing before and it was really good, but uncle Rúmil made one with green icing that was really bad. I ate my piece though because I did not want to hurt his feelings. Erestor chuckled. 

We will have to find out. He set her down and she took his hand as they walked out of the dining hall. 

~~~~~~~~~

Where is Zinnia? Haldir looked around the dance floor and did not see her. 

I believe Erestor went to speak with her after she asked him to bond with her. Suvel smiled at Haldir's expression. At least someone in your family will find a life partner. 

This is not funny. Haldir shocked expression turned to a scowl that had no real effect on Suvel.

It is a childish infatuation. She laughed and put her and on his arm. Tell me you did not notice how she spent all her time in the library.

She was researching her report. 

Haldir, she was spending time with Erestor. 

Orophin you are not one of my most favored elves tonight. Orophin laughed.

Yes news of her earlier conversation with our Lady was rather entertaining. Orophin quieted at Haldir's glare but the smile didn't leave his face. 

I am going to sort this out. 

There is nothing to sort. Suvel's words fell on deaf ears as Haldir made his way out of the dining hall and towards the gardens at the base. 

'Nothing to sort!' He sighed and continued down the path. 'She asked to bond with him for Valar's sake and there is nothing to sort. Eleven years old and asking to bond to another! She does not understand what she asks she does not even understand what love is. She is only eleven!' Zinnia's laughter floated through the air and he followed it. 

He found the two on a bench talking quietly. Erestor was smiling at her and she was smiling up at him. He saw it now. The affection in her eyes was easy to read as she looked upon the dark haired advisor. Caring was reflected back down to her in Erestor's features as he looked down on the child. A fierce wave of protectiveness washed over him and he almost growled. Just as he was about to storm into the small clearing Erestor looked to him and raised an eyebrow in clear questioning. He frowned at the other elf not knowing if he should trust his daughter to him. 

I think you are very pretty too. Erestor's eyes moved from Haldir back to the child sitting next to him. 

Thank you. 

So if we are bond mates does that mean that you will help me with all of my reports?

Bond mates help each other when they are needed, but Zinnia I can not be your bond mate. 

Why? Her tone was defeated. You said you liked spending time with me and that way you can stay here and spend even more time with me. 

What of my responsibilities to Elrond? What of my friends? My belongings? 

I do not know? She shrugged and sighed. 

Your sentiments flatter me, but I can not answer a yes to your question. 

Why? I like you Erestor, we could have fun together and play, then you can teach me all the time. Not that I do not like Suvel but I just. .

Enjoy having some one new around? She blushed but nodded. 

Bond mates have to stay together so I thought if we were bond mates you would stay. 

What if I said you would have to come with me? 

I do not want to leave Ada! Or my uncles, I want to stay here. 

You are not ready to do such, no. Just another reason why we can not become bond mates. Zinnia sighed again more annoyed than anything. 

I thought I had solved the problem. 

Some problems have many solutions; some are more likely and probable than others. Your solution would work if it were not for factors that you did not understand had to be taken into account. 

Like you are living in Rivendell. 

Yes that is one. 

Can we find a solution to the problem?

I must return to Rivendell, you must stay with your father. I think the solution you are trying to find is for something that is not necessarily a problem. 

Then you do not care that you have to leave me? 

I care, do not doubt that. I care for all of my friends. 

So we can not stay together? 

I am afraid that we can not. She slouched and Erestor looked back to Haldir who was still hovering in the distance. Haldir took that as his cue to enter the clearing and did so. Do not be so sad. We can still be friends. 

There you are my sweet I have been looking for my dance partner. 

Ada. Her face broke into a wide grin. Erestor and I were talking. 

Talking? He moved in front of her and lowered himself so he could look her in the eye as she nodded at his question. 

Yes, but I believe we have come to an understanding. Erestor put a hand on her shoulder and she smiled up at him. 

Can we have cake now? Erestor smiled.

That sounds like a wonderful idea. She grinned and looked to Haldir. 

Then we must hurry as I saw Orophin spot the sweet table before I left. 

He is going to eat everything! She jumped off the bench and took off towards the dining hall, both adults watching with a smile. 

She is a precious child Haldir. You must be very proud. Haldir turned his attention back to Erestor before standing. 

I am and I thank the Valar every day for letting me find her. He smoothed down the front of his robe before speaking again. I hope she did not embarrass you with her questions. Erestor chuckled and stood shaking his head slightly. 

Not at all. Do not fret, she only wished for me to stay and thought that bonding with me would be the only way to make me.

Thank you for explaining it to her. 

There is no need to thank me for that. They both looked back to the path when they heard hurried footsteps. 

You were supposed to follow me. She sighed and grabbed one of each of their hands.

We were? Haldir smiled as Zinnia tried to pull them both back towards the path. 

Yes. She planted both of her feet and put her entire body weight into tugging them. 

Then we should go. Haldir and Erestor glanced to each other before they both lifted her up and swung her as they walked. She laughed and both smiled as she hung in the air. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia squared her shoulders as she watched the Rivendell elves prepared to leave. The horses were gathered at the gates and there was a small crowd that was saying their goodbyes. She looked up when Haldir put his hand on her head and messed her hair. He smiled at reassuringly.

Go aier, if you let them leave without speaking to them, you may not have another chance for a number of years. 

Yes Ada. She still hesitated slightly. 

I will be here my sweet, speak with them and tell them. He smoothed her hair down and she gave him a smile before walking off towards the twins. 

Aier. She stopped and smiled at Arwen. I will think of you often. Arwen leaned over and put her hand on Zinnia's cheek.

I made you a picture. Zinnia handed Arwen the paper and the elf smiled at the child. 

May I open it? Zinnia nodded and Arwen opened the rolled paper. The drawing was of what she assumed to be a dear in a small glade. 

Beautiful. Have you come to say goodbye to Erestor? Zinnia nodded but her eyes glanced to the Twins.

And to talk to your brothers. Arwen nodded. 

Then I shall leave you to it. It was a pleasure meeting you, I hope our paths cross again. 

I as well. Arwen smiled again and righted herself. I will tell my brothers that you wish to speak with them. Zinnia watched as Arwen walked over to the twins and directed their attention to her. They walked over slowly and both bowed to her.

Our sister has told us you wish to speak with us. Zinnia looked to the twin that spoke and nodded. 

I have decided to try to forgive you. She shuffled her feet slightly. I am not sure that I will be able to but Arwen said the most anyone can ask is that I try. 

I hope one day we can earn your forgiveness. They both bowed to her and she sighed. 

Arwen told me about your mother. I wish that would not have happened. 

As do we. 

It was not your fault and you should not blame yourselves. I have bad dreams sometimes about my brother but. . but Ada says that it was not my fault. He says that I could have done nothing to stop it. Arwen said your Ada said the same thing. 

It is different with us ai.. Lady Zinnia. We are trained warriors, we could have stopped what they did to her. 

No, no because you did not know that they were going to hurt her. Bad things happen but we must understand that it is not our fault.

Some one is to blame. Elladan's words were spoken harshly but Zinnia didn't react to the tone. She reached over and grabbed his hand.

Then blame the ones that hurt her and not yourself. That is what Ada says and he is always right. Elladan smiled and held her hand.

Always? Zinnia nodded without hesitation. Elrohir smiled as well and held out his hand to her. She let go of Elladan and held out her hand to Elrohir who took it in a warrior's embrace.

Good bye little warrior. I hope when you make it to Rivendell you will speak with us. She grinned and nodded. 

I made you both something. She handed them a rolled up piece of paper tied with a ribbon. You can not open it until you have left Lórien though. She held them out but pulled them back when they went to take them. Promise? 

We promise. They spoke at the same time and she smiled giving them their gifts. 

I hope you have green and golden paths. The twins smiled at her and bowed again.

Farewell little warrior. 

Come now we must leave. Erestor ushered the two twins off before turning back to Zinnia. This is farewell aier. 

I made you something too. He smiled and crouched down to her level before taking the paper from her. 

I am sure it is beautiful. She blushed slightly and looked down. Do I have to wait to open it as well? 

If you want to. She looked back up to him. Will you make sure the twins do not open theirs until I said? 

I will make sure they keep their promise. 

Are you sure you will not be my bond mate? You can sleep with Ada since his bed is big enough and we can draw in the afternoons. At night you can read a book with me. He smiled warmly and she returned it.

You will make someone a very special spouse aier. You are loving, warm and very thoughtful. I however will not be the lucky person to win your heart. 

How do you know? I like you. . you are fun. He laughed and opened his arms, which she immediately stepped into for a hug. 

You are fun as well aier. He picked her up as he spoke and walked over to his horse. 

Is it because I'm young? Everyone says I'll get older. They say it all the time. 

That is part of the reason. You still do not understand what you ask. In a few years time you will. And I know that in ten years you will be making a trip to Rivendell.

Really? she asked excited. 

Yes, I have already arranged some of it. Your Ada wishes me to seek permission from Lord Elrond. He will say yes and you can come when you are older. You will be of age then and will understand most of what everyone says you will. 

Ten years is forever! 

For one of your years yes, a week is forever, a day can be forever, an hour even. She smiled but nodded. We will be friends aier, and sometimes that relationship is all that can come between two people. 

Will you write me? 

I promise. 

Everyday? He laughed and she smiled.

As often as I can. You must promise to write me. 

I promise! He chuckled and set her up on his horse before rummaging through his saddle bag. Do you not want to be my bond mate because I am human? Erestor met her eyes and she only blinked at him.

No aier, that has nothing to do with my answer to you. 

Do you swear that? I think it does. 

It does not and I swear it upon my every book I have ever read. 

Have you read them all? He smiled at her. 

Not all. He pulled what he had been looking for out of his pack and picked her up again before setting her on the ground and kneeling in front of her. I want you to have this. 

But that is your favorite inkwell! she said surprised. He smiled and took her hand putting it in her palm. 

Now it is yours, every time you write a report, or letter, or even a note I want you to think of me. 

I will. She pulled the inkwell to her chest and he smiled. 

And I shall think of you every time I see your lovely drawing as I will hang it in my study. The gates opened and the groups escort as well as many of the ones leaving mounted. I must go Zinnia. Do not forget to write me. 

I will start a letter as soon as I go back home. Erestor smiled and cupped her cheek with his palm.

Of that I have no doubt. 

Come Zinnia, it is time for them to leave. They both looked up to Haldir. Erestor nodded and stood as Haldir took Zinnia in his arms and lifted her so she could see over the horses. 

Bye Erestor. Erestor mounted and looked back down. 

Bye Zinnia, until next we meet. He gave a small wave before he followed the others. 

It was very grown up of you to speak with the twins. Zinnia nodded still watching Erestor. What did you draw them? You never showed me. She turned to him and the smile she gave was decidedly impish.

That is because it is a surprise. She gave a small laugh and gave one last look to the exiting party. I need to start my letter to Erestor. Haldir smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~

Erestor the end of the boarders is within sight! Erestor almost laughed at the impatient tone in Elrohir's voice. 

You promised not until you left said boarders child, stop whining. 

I am not whining.

Yes you were.

Elladan you are one to speak as yours is in your hands as well. Elladan reddened slightly.

Only so you do not look like such an immature elfling. 

Elfling! May I remind you that you are younger than me.

By five minutes and no you may not! Erestor let them argue knowing that it would keep them occupied until they reached the boarders. 

Finally! Despite his words Elladan was the first to open his drawing followed closely by Elrohir. They both broke out into fits of laughter. 

It would seem she has gotten us back. they looked back to Erestor and chuckled seeing his was open as well. 

What has gotten you two in a laughing fit? Arwen rode up and they grinned at her. 

The little one has given us drawings. Arwen laughed as she looked at them. Both had a face sticking their tongue out in a taunting gesture. 

What of yours? The three looked to Erestor who rolled his back up and put it in his travel bag.

It is private. 

That is not fair! Erestor smiled at the whine in Elladan's voice. 

We will show you ours. 

I already know what yours are. He grinned at their expressions. Now, turn around and pay attention to the trail. It gets uneven ahead. All three rolled their eyes and moved their horses forward. None of them noticed him pulling it out again and inspecting it further. He smiled at the picture easily pointing out Haldir and his brothers. Zinnia standing next to another elf with dark hair. Smiles on all of their faces and all reading books. 

===============

aier = little one

Ada = Father

Atada = Grandfather


	17. Realizations

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Really sad chapter! More specific mentions of child abuse. 

Thanks to Mellon1 for looking over this chapter for me! 

Chapter 17: Realizations 

He was hurting her Ada! I saw it! Haldir looked to Tonan who blushed slightly. 

Aier, perhaps you should tell me what happened. He turned back to Zinnia waiting for further explanation.

I was running ahead to Orophin's like you said I could and I heard a noise. When I went to look I saw Tonan he was on top of Ethiel and he was hurting her!

Tonan would you care to explain? 

Sir, we. . we were simply.

Lord Haldir we were only having a little fun. Haldir understood what Ethiel meant at her tone.

You do not have to lie Ethiel, I saw him. Lord Celeborn will punish him. Haldir looked down to Zinnia and saw that she was heatedly glaring at Tonan. They will make him go away! And you will be safe. 

Zinnia I was not hurting her. Tonan's tone was imploring.

You were!   
Come Zia we must talk. Haldir tried to turn her and take her back down the path.

No! No he has to be punished for hurting her! You said it was wrong. 

Aier we must talk about this. 

No! She stomped her foot. He needs to be thrown out of the city. 

Child we were both involved in what you saw. He was not forcing me. Zinnia looked to Ethiel and frowned. 

Why would you want that? It hurts and Ada said it was wrong. The two elves in front of her got a saddened look in their eyes and Haldir moved down in front of her turning her to look at him. 

Aier I said what was done to you was wrong, it was. What Tonan and Ethiel were doing was not wrong it was natural. This is going to be a long discussion my sweet let us return home. 

But Ada he should be. 

Zinnia. She quieted at Haldir's tone. I have never lied to you and I will not begin today. He has done nothing wrong. There is no reason to punish him. He reached up and turned her face to him as she was glaring at Tonan again. Zinnia he has done nothing wrong. 

Lord Haldir. . perhaps you should speak with her and after, if she decides I must still be punished, I will go before the Lord and Lady. 

You should go now orc spawn! 

Zinnia we do not use that language. 

Ada! She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. 

No, Zia we are returning home and will talk about what you witnessed. 

I will hold to what you decide Zinnia. She looked to Tonan and growled when he moved closer. 

You need to leave! Haldir grabbed her and stood when she went to take a swing at Tonan. He noticed the guard stayed still to take the hit. No! You can not just leave him with her what if he does it again? She started struggling in his arms when he turned to walk away. Ada you have to protect her! Please Ada! 

She is safe my sweet. Zinnia shook her head and looked to Tonan her eyes filled with a mixture of hate and fear. 

Sir I will go to my telain until she feels it is safe. 

Is that acceptable aier? 

We can not trust him! Haldir adjusted his grip on her and made her look at him again. 

Aier, this is a misunderstanding. 

If you will not protect her then I will. She started wiggling and caused him to put her down so he wouldn't drop her. When she landed on the ground she ran to Ethiel and stood in front of her glaring once again at Tonan. I will not let you hurt her again! 

Aier he was not hurting me. Ethiel put her hands on Zinnia's shoulders. 

You do not have to be scared any more. Zinnia patted one of Ethiel's hands but kept her eyes on Tonan. 

Aier, Zinnia looked to Haldir, he will return to his home and so will we. 

Ada what if he leaves? 

Zinnia. Haldir sighed. I will have Orophin make sure he stays there. Will that ease your mind? 

No. . he. . he will run away. 

Zinnia he will not. She shook her head and pressed back into Ethiel as if guarding her. 

What if your Ada escorts Tonan to his home and we can tell Orophin to relieve him? Ethiel looked to Haldir apologetically. 

That will be best. 

Very well Zinnia. We will talk when I return though. She nodded and took Ethiel by the hand.

I will make you some tea and you will see that everything is fine now. 

I am sorry Haldir. Haldir looked back to Tonan and put his hand on his shoulder. 

There is no reason you need to apologize. Haldir took in the bloody nose and frowned. Do you need a healer? Tonan wiped the blood off his nose and smiled slightly.

Nay, though for being only fourteen she is stronger than she looks. 

~~~~~~~~~

It is not weakness to cry Ethiel, many times tears help. Haldir sighed as he approached the door to his telain. He had been trying to think of how to broach the subject for a while now. In retrospect now he might have pushed back talking with her for too long. Would you like some tea? Tea helps sometimes or we can have cake. Cake usually makes me feel better. 

Child honestly, I am fine. 

Would you like to draw? There was a pause. Or we can talk about it if you like. It helps when I talk with Ada about what scares me. But you do not have to be scared any more because uncle Orophin and Ada will make sure that Tonan stays away. He made enough noise that Zinnia would hear him before he opened the door and both looked to him. Ethiel was seated in one of the chairs in the main room. It was obvious that Zinnia was trying to comfort her as Baru was firmly situated in Ethiel's grasp. Ada is back see everything is fine now. 

Zinnia we must talk now, Ethiel will return to her own home. Ethiel stood but Zinnia frowned and grabbed her hand.

Ada what if she has bad dreams? She can stay with me tonight. Ethiel bent down and drew Zinnia into a hug, which was returned. 

Your wish to protect me warms my heart aier. I must thank you for your intentions. She pulled back and they looked each other in the eyes. 

You are my friend Ethiel. 

Is not Tonan?

He was but not anymore! Her tone was harsh and Ethiel sighed. 

I hope that is not the case. She put her hand on Zinnia's cheek. Will you and your Ada have lunch with me tomorrow? I have a feeling that there will be many questions that your Ada may not be able to answer for you tonight. If you would allow me I would be honored to help you with your confusion. She smiled and handed the stuffed dear back to the child in front of her. 

You should not be alone tonight. 

If I have trouble I will return here and take you up on your offer. 

Are you sure? 

Yes, you must speak with your father. Remember we will have lunch tomorrow and any questions that you have I will do my best to answer. She hugged Zinnia again before standing and going to Haldir. 

Thank you for your offer I believe you will be correct. Ethiel smiled and put her hand on Haldir's shoulder. 

It does not require thanks. I am sorry. Haldir smiled and shook his head slightly. 

As what happened requires no apology. We will speak more tomorrow and I trust that perhaps we will have one more for lunch? 

I will go to him now. She pitched her voice low enough that Zinnia wouldn't be able to hear her. Haldir walked her to the door and saw her out. When he closed it he turned around to see Zinnia sitting on the chair Ethiel had vacated. 

I really think she should stay here tonight Ada. 

She will be safe enough. He moved and sat on the couch and sighed. We must talk my sweet. What we speak of may be very confusing and we must work together to make sure that you understand completely. 

What are we going to talk about? 

What you witnessed tonight. 

I know what I saw! He was touching her and going to hurt her like. . She trailed off and frowned looking down to the stuffed animal in her hands. 

Aier, do you remember what we talked about before? When you started your cycle? She nodded. I should have spoken to you of everything that entails and not just your body's changes and new functions. I believe I have done you a disservice by not doing so. 

Why? 

I believe you have had to fill in the gaps of your knowledge with information that is false. Perhaps you guessed on certain questions instead of asking them. It was wrong of me to have allowed that to happen. 

Maybe I guessed right. She sat up a little taller. 

You could have, more likely you have guessed small things right and others are still a mystery. Aier, tonight what you witnessed was not wrong or bad, it is natural. 

You said letting someone else touch you there was bad. 

It is, it is wrong unless your consent is given. And as a child you can not give consent for another to do something to you that is not understood, nor something you are not ready for. We have spoken of sex before. The differences between males and females, and also of reproduction. She nodded. What you saw tonight was how the differences. . bring the two together. Tonan and Ethiel, while I am not sure exactly what position you found them in, were participating in sex. 

No. . no because you said sex is how the female gets pregnant and well. . She trailed off again and looked to the stuffed animal in her lap.

Well what aier? 

I thought the female gets pregnant when the male sticks their tongue in her mouth. Then she swallows his spit, which is really gross! He smiled slightly. Then the baby grows in her stomach. Tonan had his mouth somewhere else. 

Yes. . ah. . well what you mentioned before, that is kissing. A female can not become pregnant by kissing. 

Oh. . . then I do not understand. He was not kissing her face. 

'A very long discussion.' Thought Haldir as he saw the look in Zinnia's eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Zia. She blinked and looked to Suvel who had a look crossed between concern and amusement on her face. That is the fifth time I called your name. What are you thinking of aier, as it is not about the lesson that sits before you. 

Ada and I had a talk the other day, and then yesterday I had lunch with Tonan and Ethiel. 

That sounds pleasant, though I must ask why your mind is there and not here. 

I was thinking of what we talked about and . . . I do not know if I made a right choice. 

Would you like to speak of it? She nodded slowly and Suvel took the book from in front of Zinnia and closed it setting it to the side. 

I forgave Tonan and even apologized for hitting him but I still think he was wrong. If I am wrong though that would mean Ada and Ethiel lied to me. 

You hit Tonan? She nodded again and looked down to her hands.

He was hurting Ethiel but Ada said they were having sex. She looked up when Suvel didn't respond to her. 

Then he was not hurting her. 

But she was moaning like she was hurt and. . and I know it hurts. The last was said in a whisper as she looked back to her hands. Ethiel said it did not hurt though. How can it not hurt? 

That is a very good question. She looked back up to Suvel who had a smile on her face though her eyes were touched with a sadness. Did not your Ada answer all of your questions? 

He tried but . . well I think they hurt him. It looked like he was becoming sad. I do not want him to be sad because of me. 

So you did not ask him? She nodded. Did he eat lunch with you as well yesterday? Zinnia nodded again. Then I see why you still have questions. You have many? She paused a moment but nodded once more. A lengthy discussion calls for a snack and a more comfortable resting spot before we begin then. Once they were settled on the couch, each with a warm cup of tea and a large tray of cookies between them they started talking again. 

Have you had sex before? 

Yes. Suvel's answer was unhesitating and mater of fact.

Why? She looked down in her tea cup. I do not understand why you would want such pain. 

Aier, it is not meant to be a painful act. Sex, is meant to be pleasurable and positive experience. 

But it is not! Why does no one believe me when I say that? 

Your memories are not of pleasant experiences we know this and we believe you. Zinnia looked up to Suvel. Your Ada believes you as well though maybe he did not understand that you thought his words mean otherwise. You have to understand that what happened to you was wrong. Technically it was sex yes, but it was nonconsensual. 

Sometimes I wanted his attention so he would not hit Alar though. 

That does not matter. It was still wrong. He should never have treated you in such a manner. What he did to you was traumatic and very scary, it is not how sex is supposed to be. That is rape, it is abuse, force and coercion are not supposed to be part of what sex entails. With the right person sex is everything your Ada and also Ethiel and Tonan told you. It is beautiful and powerful, something to be treasured with those you care for.

Do they want to hurt you? 

Who? 

The. . the males. . your partner. Do they want to hurt you? Tonan said he did not wish to hurt Ethiel. That he cares for her and wanted to express that. 

No, no real pain is intended. No pain that is meant to cause fear. Sex is usually how close couples in relationships that pass beyond friendship express their joy to be with the other. Suvel watched as Zinnia disregarded her tea and pulled her legs to her chest. 

I will never let another touch me like that again. 

It is your choice aier, but please do not use what you have went through as the way it is meant to be with a partner. Suvel frowned slightly as she saw the pain that marred Zinnia's usually joyful face. Perhaps you would like some books on the topic? There are a few in the library that might answer any other questions you do not know how to ask yet, or maybe help you to think of some that you would like to ask.

I. . I would like them. 

Would you like a cookie? I made them myself and know that Rúmil was no where near them. Suvel picked up the tray and held it out but it was ignored as was her attempt at humor. She moved it to the table and then slid closer to Zinnia pulling the child into a hug. 

He took so much from me. Suvel put her cheek against Zinnia's head, which was pressed against her shoulder. 

He did. 

I want it back. Zinnia's voice was full of tears and Suvel closed her eyes pulling Zinnia closer to her. Alar. . and everything else he stole from me. 

I wish I could give them back to you, as does everyone else. I know your Ada would sacrifice much to be able to do that for you. 

But you can not. Suvel's own eyes started to moisten.

No, none can. Zinnia broke down in tears and Suvel started rocking her and comforting her as best she could.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aier = little one

Ada = Father

Baru = Brown (the stuffed dear)


	18. Separations

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Mushyness!

Chapter 18: Separations 

Haldir looked over the city as he climbed the steps to the royal telain. It had been a long while since he had been summoned to the Lord and Lady for a formal audience, since he had been relieved of duty eight years ago. The messenger had arrived this morning and he had been ordered to report that afternoon. He fixed his formal robes as he entered the main hall and waited to be called. 

Haldir. He looked up and stood at the handmaidens call. They wish to meet with you now. She walked down to Celeborn's study and he followed her. It was the Lord's favored place to meet with a small audience. He had been there often when he had turned in his reports as March Warden. Upon entering he saw that Celeborn's was at his desk reading some scrolls. Galadriel was sitting in an empty chair by the fire place. 

Thank you Velindel. the handmaiden curtsied slightly and then left the room closing the door behind her. 

Lord Celeborn, Lady Galadriel He bowed and straightened seeing the smile on Galadriel's face.

Come sit with us Haldir. Galadriel motioned to the chair beside her and he sat. 

I hear that Zia is doing very well with her training. Haldir looked to Celeborn and smiled.

Yes, she is a fair shot with her bow, though her skill and true interest lie in the sword. The pride in his voice was an almost tangible entity and both Galadriel and Celeborn smiled. 

That is good news indeed. Galadriel leaned forward and poured herself some more tea. Would you care for some tea Haldir? He nodded and Galadriel poured him some. 

Is that news from the boarder? Celeborn smirked and rolled the scroll close.

Yes, do not your brothers keep you apprised of such information. Haldir grinned.

They do.

Zinnia has grown quite a lot of the past years. 

That she has, she nearly reaches my shoulder now. You know this and I trust did not call me here to talk of my daughter alone. 

You are right, though she does have something to do with our business today. He looked to Celeborn. She is a very capable young woman. Eight years have passed since you took a leave from your duties as March Warden. In those eight years not only has your daughter grown, but so has the threat from Mordor. It is known now that what was sensed from Dol Guldur, the Necromancer, is none other than Sauron himself. Haldir took a moment to digest the information. 

Then there will be another war? 

Yes. Galadriel's answer was soft. Though in the future, not an immediate concern, and not, I believe one that the elves that remain on these shores will dominate. 

It will fall to humans. Haldir Looked to Galadriel.

Humans will be the main targets of Sauron's wrath, as humans will be the source of hope for this war. There was silence for a few moments. 

Has orc activity increased much? 

Not alarmingly. There has been a slight raise in the average number of orc attacks, Nothing that can not be handled. Nenya still protects us from Sauron's eye. 

I can not go back to my full duties. I can not be gone for months. 

No. Celeborn smiled slightly. We propose light duty. The main concern at the moment is deployment of the guards and training. Your duties can be fulfilled within the city. You would be in charge of training as well as the roster. Though we would ask you to personally guide visitors to our realm, as well as certain meetings between messengers. It would be guaranteed that at least one if not both of your brothers would be in the city every time you are away. As well as your time at the boarders would be limited to a month at the longest. Haldir paused for a moment. He would like to return to duty. Lately Zinnia had become more independent and not as needful of him as she once was. 

My active days? 

Any five of the week you wish. Haldir thought about it for another moment. 

You do not have to answer now. Haldir looked to Galadriel. Speak with your daughter of this proposal. We expect your answer at the end of the month. If yes you will begin duty immediately. 

~~~~~~~~~~

You shall not win! Zinnia laughed and dodged another blow.

I hope I never win Gebrir for it would shatter the pedestal I have placed you on. this time Gebrir laughed and dodged a sword strike from her. 

Pedestal? It must not be very high judging from how you treat a poor old elf. Zinnia snorted and jumped out of the way of his sword. 

You try to make it sound like you are a physical invalid. She dodged another strike. Physically that is not the case, though mentally . . . She smiled and ducked as he swung at her. Well that is still questionable. Gebrir chuckled and barely moved out of the way of her hit. 

You wound me. 

Not yet, but do not doubt my lack of sincerity for trying. He smiled at her and she returned it as they circled the other. 

I would never doubt you. they met in a flurry of blows that left Zinnia on the ground at the end of Gebrir's sword. He pulled his sword back and was about to say something when she moved suddenly knocking his feet out from under him and brought her sword down on his chest. Gebrir let out a breath. I never taught you that. 

Ada showed me. 

Remind me to thank him. 

You are most welcome. they both looked up and saw Haldir grinning at them. 

Hello Ada. Zinnia stood and helped Gebrir up before going to give Haldir a hug. You are very finely dressed for the practice field. 

I had a meeting this morning. He looked to Gebrir who was dusting himself off. I trust I can steal her back for the rest of the day. 

Yes, it is almost lunch besides. 

Lunch! I said I would meet the others for lunch. Haldir laughed at her tone.

It is more than half an hour away, you have

Half an hour! Zinnia's surprised outburst cut him off. I have to go get cleaned up. Here. She handed Haldir her practice sword and ran off. Bye lord Gebrir! 

Bye young one! Gebrir laughed at Haldir's confused expression. 

Who is she meeting for lunch? 

Some of the guards. Gebrir's tone was dismissive though he had a grin on his face. 

I do not see why she must rush, it is only guards. 

No you would not. Now my friend let us go have lunch. We have not spoken in a long while. 

What do you mean by I would not? Gebrir only laughed and took the Zinnia's training sword from Haldir. 

Its nothing, I have been meaning to come see you. I would like to discuss Zinnia's training. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia ran down the path braiding her hair as she went. She would have been on time except that she had changed her tunic three times. As she approached the meeting place she slowed down and smoothed out her shirt. She had chosen one of her better ones but not her best. It was a deep blue with bell sleeves and a high collar, though the neckline came down a little lower than any of the other tunics she owned.

'Calm, you must calm. He might not even be there.' She took a deep breath and smoothed down her tunic once again. 'Valar I am over dressed for a simple lunch.' Sighing she wiped some imaginary dirt off her dark gray pants. 'I should go change.' 

Zinnia. she jumped slightly and looked back.

Hello Endil. 

You look very nice. her face reddened.

Th. . thanks. You. . She cleared her throat. You look good as well. Endil's smile grew slightly. 

I trust you are on your way to lunch with us. 

I. . uh. . was. . yes. 'Great you stupid orc!' She hissed at herself. 'Just act a fool in front of him.' 

Then allow me to escort you. Zinnia's face grew more heated as she took his arm before he led her down the path. After lunch many of us return to training, though you must go to lessons. 

Yes. . well. . only for a few more years. Then Suvel says that it will be my decision to continue my education. 

And are you? 

Am I what? Endil laughed softly. 

Going to continue your education. Zinnia blushed and cursed her stupidity again. 

I. . I have not yet decided. 

You have years. She nodded. Your lessons end the same time training does correct? 

Usually yes. 

Perfect, then you can join me for a walk after? The redness of her face doubled. 

I would enjoy you. . that. . the walk. Endil only smiled and nodded as she stammered.

~~~~~~~~~~~

One moment! Rúmil sighed and put his latest attempt at a meal in the wash basin. He sighed and wiped his hands on a small towel as he made his way to the door. Good afternoon dear one. Not that I am complaining of this unexpected visit but are you not supposed to be at lessons? Zinnia smiled and nodded.

I asked Suvel if I could come see you for a while. She agreed as long as I promised to agree to double the work for the next time. I smell that you have tried to cook again. Rúmil chuckled as he moved out of the way to allow her in. 

Yes. Unfortunately it did not go as planned. 

Not many of your meals do uncle. she walked into the kitchen and looked at the pan. What did you attempt this time? Rúmil sighed and looked into the pan as well.

It really does not matter now.

Well. . . it is thoroughly cooked. She looked to him and grinned. 

That is a nice way to put that it is charred. 

It is rather . . . burnt. She put her hand on his shoulder. One day uncle Rúmil. . one day you will cook something wonderful. Just imagine the look on Ada's and Orophin's faces. If the Valar is with me perhaps I will be there to see it as well. 

I trust you came by to do more than console me over my latest disaster. 

Yes. She walked over to the table and sat watching as he started cleaning the mess he had made. You can come over to dinner with Ada and I tonight. Unless you would want to darken more of your cookery. She laughed at the look he gave her. 

I may have to. He started scrubbing the pan and looked back to Zinnia as she started putting food items that were on the counter away. Now does something bother my niece or did she smell the fire coming from my telain and decide to be of some help? 

Perhaps a bit of both. She grinned at him and he chuckled as he continued to scrub the blackened flakes of burned food out of his pan. I think I am in love. He stopped scrubbing and looked up to her.

I hope you told Suvel you would most likely not be back for the remainder of the day. Zinnia smiled but nodded. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought you went for lunch. Zinnia looked up and saw Haldir sitting on the couch looking at her. A book was in his lap but he was obviously waiting for her.

I. . well some of us went for a walk after. . Well a while after lunch. Were we supposed to be doing something? I do not remember any plans. 

No, we had no plans. He smiled at her. Will you sit for a moment there are some things I wish to speak to you of. She moved over to the chair and sat in it pulling her boots off. 

Are you making dinner tonight? I stopped by Rúmil's and invited him. He tried to make lunch and burnt whatever it was into his pan. I think he is a little depressed over the incident. She looked up to him when he didn't answer. There was a smile on his face that was hard to place. I can make it if you wish. 

We can both make it. She nodded. 

What did you wish to speak of? 

I had not planned on this for a few more months, but I had a talk with Gebrir today after you ran off. She gave him a lop sided grin. If you would like, it is about time your training turned to other things besides weapons work. 

Such as what? He could see the excitement in her eyes though she tried to hide it. 

The ways of the forest, tracking, hunting, as well as stealth, and some simple herb knowledge. The excited glint in her eyes only grew. I have arranged for us to be gone two weeks this time, and if it is an avenue you would like to pursue we or you and another of your choosing can go again in a few months. 

Ada you are the best! She moved over and hugged him. He laughed and returned the embrace. When are we leaving? 

Tomorrow morning. 

I have to ready a pack! And my sword. . and I have to check my arrows. She went into her room and Haldir chuckled as she continued to list things that had to be done.

I can make dinner. He stood and went to the kitchen. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

Ada I can put on my own cloak! He chuckled at her outrage that he knew was more embarrassment than real anger.

Yes but the look on your face is most humorous. 

Ada! He missed the glance she shot to some of the guards that were readying for their own patrol. 

Fine my sweet I will cease dressing you. 

Ada! This time he was confused as to what embarrassed her. Others can hear you. 

Yes. He was still confused and she sighed rolling her eyes before going to pick up her pack. Haldir looked over to Gebrir who chuckled. What is so amusing? 

Nothing Haldir, nothing. 

Very well. Haldir reached into his own bag and pulled out a small map. This is going to be our route. We are not passing much beyond the Celebrant, and will be going no where near the first patrol post. Gebrir nodded taking the paper and looking it over. 

I have already informed the patrols besides. They will know you are out there. Gebrir looked to Zinnia when she moved up next to Haldir. Ah, you seem ready. 

I am. The excitement in her voice couldn't be masked though she tried to hide it from her features. 

Of course she is! She is my niece. Zinnia turned and smiled at Orophin. 

Thank you uncle. Rúmil cleared his throat. Uncles. 

That is better. We came to see _our_ niece off. Rúmil glared at Orophin a moment before smiling at Zinnia. I have made some Lembas for your trip. 

You are not trying to kill them are you? Orophin raised an eyebrow at the offered food.

That is kind of you Rúmil but we have plenty of supplies. Though Haldir's tone was pleasant Rúmil's face did slip some. All of them even Gebrir looked down to the small bag with a sort of apprehension. 

Though one can never have enough food on a trip outside the city. Zinnia took it with a smile. I am sure that none will return with us. The gates started opening signaling that the time for departure was close. 

We will be back in two weeks. Haldir shouldered his bag as Zinnia put the Lembas in hers. Orophin, Rúmil and Gebrir watched as the two along with the patrol left the city. Once the gate closed Orophin sighed and looked to the others. 

I am off to practice, care to join me brother? 

I will be there in a moment there is something I must speak to Gebrir of. 

More likely you are wishing to delay your eminent embarrassment when I best you on the field. 

No it is so you can warm up. I would not want an unfair advantage over you. Orophin snorted but left heading to the practice field. 

What is it you wish to speak with me of? 

You know all of the guards correct? 

Yes, I have taken your brother's position until he returns to duty.

Then it will be no trouble to point out Endil. 

~~~~~~~~~

It has almost been a week should we at least not try his Lembas? 

If you are feeling adventurous please, eat your fill. She smiled and shook her head but opened the bag and smelled it. 

It smells like Lembas. Haldir chuckled and watched as she broke a small bit off and then put it in her mouth. She had barely started chewing before making a face and spitting it out. How can one that has been alive for thousands of years not be able to cook? 

It has been a mystery that haunts Lórien for centuries. 

_I_ can make Lembas. Haldir laughed again and sat back from the fire where a rabbit was roasting. She tossed the bag to the side and took a sip of water wanting to get the taste out of her mouth. 

His cooking is lacking, though on patrol he is the first to be asked to cook when it is permitted. His fire roasting skills are beyond that of even mine. There was silence for a few moments.

Is it like this on patrols? 

Depending on how deep you are in the woods. We are still near the heart of Lórien. Nothing would get by here without word being sent first. The closer one is to the borders the less is permitted. It is all for safety. He looked over to her as she laid back and put her hands behind her head looking into the canopy of trees. 

So none know you are there. 

Yes. It is best to blend into the trees when you are close to the boarders. Trouble is rare, but there is no reason to take chances. 

It is peaceful here, not like the city. The city is peaceful but I mean, this quiet. She looked over to him. Do you miss it? He smiled at her.

I would miss it if I did not have something else to occupy my time. Truth be told staying at the boarders for months does not hold the same attractiveness that it once did. She smiled at him and looked back to the sky. Haldir sighed and straightened deciding that this was the moment he had been waiting for to tell her of the proposal by the Lord and Lady. I have been asked to return to duty. He heard her let out a breath. 

Are you going to? 

I wished to know of your opinion on the matter before I gave my answer. She sat up and looked to him across the fire. It would be only light duty. The only times I would leave the city is to escort important guests or to meet with certain messengers. Both Galadriel and Celeborn have assured me that my time out of the city would not exceed a month. One of your uncles would be with you as well. She gave him a small smile.

I am old enough to be able stay alone for a few weeks. It is not . . forever. 

No. A month at the most. 

Then. . if you wish to I think you should do so. 

I have not yet decided. Silence fell back between them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been days since he had spoken to her of the proposal. Those days were filled with more silence than he was used to. She paid close attention to what he would speak to her of. When he would point out a new plant or give some advice on life in the trees. Her attention in her training never faltered. It was when they would set up camp that she became almost distant. They were camped at the top of a small hill and she had moved sitting next to a tree looking out into the forest. 

What is on your mind my sweet? He sat next to her and she looked over to him with a small smile before looking forward again. 

A few things. She sighed and put her head on his shoulder but kept her eyes to the distance. Do you realize this is the furthest from home I have ever been? 

I know that fact but I did not realize that it would hold such meaning to you. I have been further for longer, perhaps I have forgotten of my feelings the first time my father took me out to the wilderness. 

Part of me wants to keep going. Part of me does not want to go back but to go on. To see all of the places that I have read about. He put his arm around her but stayed quiet. The other part wants to run back and never leave. To stay where I have never felt anything but safe and loved. 

I believe that is natural. 

You chose to stay? 

I have been to all of the Elvin kingdoms on Arda, as well as a few of the men's. My position as March Warden allowed me that on various diplomatic missions over my service to this land. I have always returned though. Lórien is my home; it is a place I do not think I could leave unless it was for the undying lands. My family his here, my memories, my heart. He pulled her a little closer and she put her own arm around him. 

What if I wish to do the same someday? What if I wish to travel? 

We are going to Rivendell in a matter of years.

Five. Was her automatic response. Haldir smiled slightly.

In five years we will leave. Perhaps you will find that traveling is not suited to you. 

And what if I find that it is? 

Then we will make sure that your maps are correct and your travel paths clear and as safe as possible to wherever it is you wish to go. They stayed quiet and watched the forest for a while before she spoke again. 

Have I ever thanked you? 

For what my sweet? 

For loving me. For keeping me safe. For giving me everything I never knew that I longed for. 

You gave your thanks every day. You still do. She looked up to him a questioning in her eyes. You thank me every time I hear you laugh, every tear I have ever wiped from your eyes, every question you have ever asked and all of the answers you have so readily asked more questions of. She smiled and he returned the gesture. Every smile that has ever touched your lips. 

Well, anyway, thank you. She turned her attention back to the woods. Have you decided yet? 

I believe that I have. I would like to answer them with a yes. 

Then you should tell them yes. They stayed there for a while longer watching the distance and enjoying the peace around them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orophin that is ridiculous! 

So my niece thinks that because she has gone to the wilds of Lórien and back that she should not be subjected to rules? Zinnia raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips. 

Rules? Not even Ada, not even when I was ten did I have to be back to the telain before the sun set. 

Your Ada has given me the duty of making sure that you are looked after while he is gone. I will take that duty seriously. 

Valar Orophin! Besides I have been asked to dinner with some of the guards and I have already accepted. I was not expecting to have to stay in the house the moment dark fell. 

Then you can tell them that you can not make it. 

Why do I just not ask if they will rescue me from an overbearing relative! 

You could ask but I doubt they would. 

I will not ask them that because I will not have to. I am going to dinner with them as planned. Then, most likely I will take a walk in the gardens as I have done many nights before and as I will do many nights in the future. Orophin went to open his mouth but silenced at the look that Zinnia gave him. After my walk, if I feel so inclined to do so I may go to the library, or I will go back home, or if I am feeling very adventurous I will go for a swim. 

Who will you be eating with? 

Relian, Vaorn, Lianra, Morna, and Endil I believe. Orophin's own eyes narrowed when he realized that there was the same number of females to males should Zinnia show. Rúmil had told him of what Zinnia had told him of Endil. You act as though I have never done anything on my own before. Rest assured I have been accomplishing many difficult tasks without aid of another for years now. Just yesterday I walked to Suvel's without any to lead me or hold my hand.

Zinnia. 

Orophin. Orophin sighed. 

Are you this willful with Haldir? She smiled.

Only when necessary. I do not understand it is just dinner. Had they asked me to join their patrol or something dangerous I would understand and would be giving up with the argument soon. 

Then I have no chance of winning? 

No. 

Be back after dinner. 

Uncle. 

Be back after your walk. She only raised her eyebrow again. Let me know before you return home. 

Yes uncle. She moved over and kissed him on the cheek before leaving to go to her practice. Once she was gone Orophin sighed and sat on the couch.

Thank the Valar that Haldir raised her else I would most likely be the one with the curfew. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia sighed as she dipped her feet into the water. Dinner had been fun as it always was with the guards. Haldir would probably not let her go if he knew some of the stories and songs that they shared but he didn't know and she was not about to tell him. She felt like an adult with the guards. Not once did they ever call her child, little, or any of the other names she had been called over the years. All were said with love and affection but they were childish all the same. 

'I am a child.' She kicked at the water watching the ripples the action caused. 'It is just for three weeks. He will be back in 21 days. 20…today is over.' She sighed again and closed her eyes. The fact was that she didn't want to go back home. She didn't want to walk in the door and be alone. It was the first time she had ever been away from her father and she was scared. To admit that would have hurt her pride though so she told no one. Not even her uncle. 

I thought you were returning home. She looked back and smiled at Endil.

The water looked inviting. He watched her as she turned back to the water to stare at her feet. Rúmil had told him of her feelings toward him. Then her uncle had threatened him that if he hurt her Haldir would be the least of his worries. He pulled his boots off and joined her sticking his own feet in the water. 

Very inviting. Endil had known of course. One would have had to been blind not to see it. Blind or her father, though he was thankful that none had brought it to Haldir's attention. He doubted that he would have gotten a warning had it been Haldir. They sat quietly together for a few moments. 

I. . He looked over and saw her blush. I thought I loved you. She looked over to him. I am sorry. He smiled at her.

For what? She shrugged and looked back to her feet.

For not, for thinking that I did, for telling you. I do not know. I feel as though I should apologize. 

There is no reason. He looked down to the pond. When I was your age I was positive I was in love with another as well. At least you did not try to win my affections by singing me an awful love song that you had written. 

You did not. 

Yes, I even had some of my friends playing the music. Rather embarrassing. 

It sounds as though it was. 

My point is that we feel towards others what we do when we are ready. One day you will find love and you will see that what you felt toward me was nothing but a candle flame compared to that of the sun. 

That is almost the same thing Rúmil told me. I thought it was real though. 

I am not saying that it was not. It was only . . fleeting. At times that is all that we are ready for. She nodded and they sat side by side in silence. May I walk you home? 

Actually, would you walk me to my uncle's? 

Any where you wish. 

~~~~~~~~~~

I see you have decided to at least allow me the illusion that I have any authority. . Orophin trailed off as Zinnia walked right over and hugged him. He put his own arms around her. Blossom? 

I do not want to go home because Ada is not there and I miss him. It does not matter to me if you think I am a baby anymore I just do not want to be alone. Orophin smiled and put his hand against her cheek making her look up to him.

Blossom I do not think you are a baby, and though Haldir is not here you are not alone. 

I am scared to go home because Ada is not there. I know I should not be but.. 

Why should you not be scared? Orophin cut her off. 

I am old enough to realize that. . that.

That it is the first time you have ever been parted from him and such feelings are only natural. He smiled at her then led her over to the couch. I am sure he misses you as well. It is the first time either of you have been away from the other. 

He would not feel as alone as I do. She sighed and put her hands in her lap. 

I believe he does. He smiled at her again. If you wish to stay here tonight you may. Or I can stay with you.. A faint red tinge touched her cheeks.

I. . you do not have to. 

Of course I do not. So it is lucky for you that I wish to. She looked up to him and smiled. Do not worry blossom, you will find that though you still miss him what you feel now will ease. We will even wait for him when he returns. Perhaps surprise him with a nice lunch that consists of more than Lembas and whatever game they could catch. 

I would like that. He smiled at her.

Then we shall do it. Now come join your uncle in a game of chess. 

~~~~~~~~~

Haldir sat back against the tree with a sigh. He had taken the others joking that he had gotten soft with ease. Especially as it had been them that had been trying to keep up with him. It had taken another to ask what the rush was before he had slowed his pace. The rush had been to return to the city sooner. To return to Zinnia. He hadn't realized he had been practically running until they had pointed it out to him.

'21 days my sweet.' He pulled his Lembas out and frowned when something fell out of it. Picking it up he saw it was a small folded piece of paper. Writing was on it and he smiled. _If it is night when you are reading this then already a day has passed. One less in the time that separates us. I love you Ada. _He chuckled and refolded the paper placing it in his pack. '20 days then.' He admitted to him self that he would be counting down each and every one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ada = Father

A/N: ROTK ROTK ROTK! Oh in only a little more than 17 hours I will be watching it!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

Thanks to all of my great reviewers!


	19. Visitors

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse. 

**A/N: **I know that I said there would be no romance between elves and my oc but she is growing up and she is surrounded by elves. Who is she going to have a romance with a tree? Let me just say that though she may have a relationship with an elf, it won't be a romantic love. Deep friendship and love of a sort, but they are not going to run off and get married. I hope you understand but I had to write this because I think this is something that would happen. 

Thanks to Mellon1 for looking this and the next couple of chapters over! 

Chapter 19: Visitors and New Friends

_I do not understand why Ada has to be so difficult in this. It is a feast, I am old enough, and Galadriel even personally invited me. One would think that your ruler, a ruler that you have sworn an oath to would hold sway over such a thing. No, I am too young, I do not understand, I do not. . well fill in whatever you would wish._ Zinnia sighed and dipped the pen in the ink well again. 

_Though I will admit that he has accepted it to a degree. It only took two weeks of not talking to him to accomplish that feat. I was prepared to go at least a month. The dress he commissioned for me is going to be very beautiful. Even if it is a dress. I am sure you have guessed that it is white, but there are going to be many layers to it. I have asked for some color but I guess that goes against tradition. My crown will be red; I will have to be satisfied with that. Of course I will probably spill something all over me and will have my color then._

_Truthfully Erestor, I am excited to go. I feel that I am ready, I am eighteen, I am old enough. Though sometimes I do not feel that way. I feel young and small, not unknowing, but simply,_ she thought for a moment and refilled her pen with ink before continuing, _confused would be the proper word I believe. But it is not a confusion I would be able to ask questions to clarify. I am confused as to why I am confused and so do not know the questions to ask to not feel as such._

_Only three more years! Three more years before I can see you again. To one of my age is three years supposed to feel as a lifetime? I know the past seven have. I hope the Summer Solstice feast in Imladris is as joyful as the one here. We are having visitors from Mirkwood this year. The crown prince and some other advisors. They should be arriving today as well as Ada. He is escorting them. They are staying for almost three months, leaving a week or two after the feast. I wish I could visit Mirkwood. Ada would never let me. I trust this letter will find you well and happy._ She signed her name at the bottom and blew on the ink to let it set. 

Once the letter was sealed and addressed she put away her writing supplies, grabbed a book, and left the telain. It was late morning and she would have just enough time to drop off her letter to the messenger then find a suitable spot to sit and read her book waiting for the party to arrive. It had become a tradition of a sort to both her and Haldir. She would greet him at the gates and they would go have a small meal together to catch up on missed events. Already reading she sat in her customary place to wait for her father. 

One would hardly have to know the rotations to be sure Haldir was returning. Simply watch and look for you to know if the day is the correct one. She looked up and smiled at Celeborn. 

Good afternoon my Lord. She went to stand but he put his hand on her shoulder and sat on the bench next to her instead. They will most likely not be here until later in the day. Are you going to wait until they show? 

Manners would dictate that I be here to welcome a visiting Kingdom's party. He looked down to the book. I see you have come prepared. 

Suvel has suggested some more books for me to read as I have decided I wish to know more. 

The quest for knowledge is the most monumental for no matter how valiant one is that quest will never end. She smiled and nodded.

That is a statement I believe with no reservation. Celeborn looked over the city and Zinnia shut her book. Would not a prince from another realm also dictate more than a single greeter? 

Am I not good enough to meet them alone? He looked to her offended and she only smiled more. 

That was not my meaning and you will not scare me into thinking I have offended you. He chuckled. 

You have grown, that worked many a time. 

That worked on my father, I was always blissfully ignorant of such occurrences. 

Ignorant or uncaring? 

Mostly ignorant. He grinned at her. 

To answer you yes, there will be many more here. An advanced scout will announce their arrival time. Haldir would have sent one as is required for visitors of such importance. 

Ah, so my vigil at least this day is not required. She smiled. Though if I did not read here it would be elsewhere under the sky. 

And that is a statement I find no reservations in believing. She smiled at him. I have actually come to seek you out. 

Oh? What have I done to earn the honor of such lofty company? He laughed again.

Child I would be much more apt to believe your sentiments should the sarcasm not enter in your tone. 

Do not doubt my respect for you my lord. She grinned at him and he smiled.

I would never, my wife would like your company for lunch. It seems she enjoys the company of witty children. 

My lord she asked for my company not yours. 

Go you cheeky little sprite. She tried but failed to dodge the hand that ruffled her hair. He laughed at her expression as she tried to smooth what he had messed. 

I. . do you know when they will return? 

I do not. He saw her hesitation and smiled warmly. If you are still absent when they return I will tell him that you were here. She smiled and then stood. 

Do I have time to change before Lady Galadriel is expecting me? She wished to as she had only put on one of her training outfits hoping to have a chance to do so a little later.

If you do not tarry. Now off with you. She bowed and then took off at an easy jog. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir never showed it to the others but he had been slightly disappointed when Zinnia had not been there when they arrived. Celeborn had told him that Galadriel had requested her presence but it was still a disappointment. He had been required to stay until he was dismissed, which meant he had to escort the Mirkwood elves to Galadriel even though Celeborn was there as well. Really all he wished to do was return to his home and listen to Zinnia tell of her month. He glanced to Galadriel and the smile on her face as well as her eyes directed at him told him that she knew of that as well. 

Legolas Thurandillion, It is good to have you in Lórien once more. Legolas smiled and bowed to Galadriel before taking her hand and kissing the back of it as was customary.

It is good to have returned. He righted himself. The beauty of these woods never fades. It brings hope to my heart for my own realm. Galadriel nodded as Celeborn moved up to her side. 

I trust our main business can wait until after you and your company has rested. 

That has been my hope since we have entered your boarders. Legolas smiled again. The road was not as easy as it once was. 

You have met with the enemy then? Celeborn frowned slightly.

Aye, a small company of orcs. Nothing that we could not handle. None were injured in the skirmish but orcs. 

At least that is some good news. Legolas nodded in agreement with Celeborn.

Then we will not keep you from your rest. I will have you shown to your rooms. At her words a few handmaidens appeared at the door and waited patiently. 

Thank you my Lady. She nodded and the Mirkwood elves followed the handmaidens leaving Haldir with Celeborn and Galadriel. 

I also trust that your time in the boarders was uneventful. 

Yes my lady. She smiled at him. 

Then I see no reason why we must have a report until tomorrow afternoon. Have a nice evening. 

Thank you. He bowed to both of them before leaving to his own home. The door was barely open before arms were thrown around him.

Sorry I wasn't at the gates but Lady Galadriel asked me to do a few errands for her and then I set up dinner. Are there many elves from Mirkwood? 

About twenty. Mostly some soldiers. There are five advisors and the Prince. What errands did Lady Galadriel have you do? She took his sword and bow from him going to the weapons cabinet to put them away. 

She had me go to the kitchens and have trays of food prepared for a few of the rooms. That is how I sneaked some of the meal they had made. The cook gave me a tray for helping her. He walked over to her and she took his quiver with a smile. Tomorrow Galadriel wishes for me to be a guide for one of the visitors. If that is acceptable to you. 

Of course. 

Good because I already agreed. Now go wash up so we can eat. He chuckled. 

Yes my sweet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Zinnia hummed to herself lightly as she made her way up the steps to her destination. It was exciting to do something other than the normal routine of lessons or practice. Though she hoped she could fit in some practice. 'Perhaps she has assigned me to one of their warriors.' The thought thrilled her. She would be able to not only ask them questions of Mirkwood but perhaps learn a new style of fighting as well. 

Hello. She smiled and nodded at two elves that passed her. They were obviously some of the Mirkwood advisors that Haldir had spoken of. Their robes were in dark reds and greens. Most in Lórien wore lighter colors. That coupled with the fact she did not know them made it even more obvious. They gave her a strange look and she stopped. Did you need directions to a certain place? 

No. There was a tone in the elf's voice that she could not place. 

Well then have a good day. She bowed slightly and continued on her way. Before she turned around the corner she looked back and saw they were whispering to each other with frowns on their faces. Shrugging slightly and pushing it out of her thoughts she continued. A few more steps and a couple of turns led her to the door Galadriel had sent her to. Knocking quickly she straightened her tunic waiting for a response. She wasn't forced to wear her nicest but she had decided to dress in something other than her normal wear. 

One moment. The door opened and she smiled instantly relieved. The elf in front of her was wearing a simple tunic and leggings not robes of state. He also wore a variant on the warrior braids that Haldir always wore. 

Good morning my lord. Lady Galadriel has sent me here to be your guide if you would like. I believe she said that she thought you would appreciate one. 

Did she? he asked with a laugh. Zinnia nodded. Well the last time I was here I would have only reached your knees. A guide would be most welcome. He stepped back and pulled the door a little wider. Come in, I must retrieve my boots. 

We do not have to go now. I am to be at your disposal. . well during the day. The nights are mine. Zinnia walked in the room and looked around. She looked back to the other when he laughed again.

The nights are yours. I will remember that. So does my guide have a name? 

Zinnia Haldirtinu. May I have your name? 

Of course. It is Legolas. 

Now that we have that settled Lord Legolas wh.

Please just call me Legolas. She smiled and nodded.

Where would you like to go first? He pulled on his last boot and looked to her. 

Any daughter of the march warden should be able to hold her own on the archery range. 

~~~~~~~~

It is not the same defending against two blades compared to one. You must keep your eyes on both hands. Zinnia nodded and moved back into a defensive stance. Now try to keep up. She smirked but he attacked not giving her time to respond. It was the second week of their visit, Legolas and Zinnia spending many of the days together sparing, practicing archery, or Zinnia leading Legolas to wherever he needed to be. She had asked him about his fighting knives and he had showed her. The sparing naturally progressed as she continued to ask questions and for demonstrations. 

Very good! They moved apart circling each other. This time unlike all of the others Legolas had not managed to score a hit. Shall we try again? 

Unless you are tired. He smiled and this time she attacked. She was trying to cut down the effectiveness of his daggers by closing the distance between them. Unfortunately it also left her sword just as useless. Had her strength been more than his she would have won the match.

Your tactic would work had you a dagger or a small knife. Before he even finished speaking he moved around grabbing her and bringing one of his blades to her throat. Perhaps you should attempt with one. He let her go and she took a step away before turning. 

Well at least that time I did not end up in the dirt. She sighed and wiped her forehead with the back of her sleeve. 

Do you have a knife? 

No, I have never trained with one. Though perhaps I should borrow one of Ada's if it will let me win at least one match before you leave. 

I know your trick now though and can combat it. 

Perhaps. She gave him a sly grin and then sighed. Shall we go again? 

Of course. He smiled. They circled each other attacking when they saw an opening. Legolas could have had her down a few times but he pulled back and told her how to correct herself. 

Perhaps you could show me some basics with your choice of weapons later. 

We do have a while yet together. He blocked her sword strike but not her fist that connected to his cheek.

Valar I did not think I would hit you! Are you all right? They both lowered their weapons and she reached forward touching his cheek. He laughed and pulled her hand away from him.

I do not know, you are much stronger than your appearance would suggest. She blushed slightly and pulled her hand from his. 

Yes, well, I have been training for years. I am sorry. 

Do not be. He laughed. You surprised me I will admit. 

I really did not mean to hit you. 

Then why did you swing as though you did? He smiled when her blush grew darker. 

Prince Legolas, I have been searching you out for the past hour. They both looked over to the dark robed elf that entered the training grounds.

Prince? Legolas looked back to Zinnia and shrugged slightly still smiling. You are the Prince? I thought you were a soldier. 

The dinner with the Lord and Lady is less than two hours away. You must ready. The other elf walked closer and then his eyes narrowed seeing the growing redness on Legolas' cheek. What happened? His tone was almost a hiss and his eyes fell to Zinnia in a glare. 

I accidentally hit.

You attacked him! Zinnia took a step back surprised at the vehemence in his voice. 

Enough Noran! 

It is enough. If she attacked you then you should bring it forth to the Lord and Lady. You are here to represent your father not to play human. 

What in Mordor does that mean! Legolas stepped between them and looked to Noran. 

I will be ready in time for dinner Noran. You can leave. 

Sire you.

I said you are dismissed Noran. Noran's mouth snapped shut and he nodded. Before he turned and left he shot another glare at Zinnia. Legolas sighed and turned to face Zinnia.

I did not mean to hit you. I thought you would move, Ada always moves. 

Then we have seen that I am not as great a warrior as your Ada.

That is not what I meant, I only. 

Zinnia. He laughed and shook his head. We were sparing. Do not worry for it. I must go though for that much Noran is correct. 

Of course, I am sorry Prince Legolas. Legolas sighed. 

Please, only Legolas. Will guide me tomorrow still? 

Unless you do not wish it I will be there at the normal time. 

Then lirimier, I shall see you then. She blushed at the endearment but he only smiled before leaving. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia walked the same path she had each of the days she had on her way to Legolas' room. Only this time her head was down and she watched her feet as she walked. Her thoughts centered on not only Legolas but also the elf that had yelled at her the day before. She had been trying to understand why he would have thought she would attack Legolas. It wasn't like she had a reason. She had almost asked Haldir about it but something in her didn't want to bother him about something so trivial. Sighing she looked up and nodded at the two Mirkwood guards by the stairs. 

You can not go up there. She looked to the guard who had grabbed her arm holding her back and frowned.

I am sorry. She took a step back and he let go of her arm. Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding I am to escort the prince. The lady asked me. The other guard cut her off.

There has been a misunderstanding. We have been given orders that you specifically should not pass. Your services as guide are no longer needed. She frowned.

I told Legol

Prince Legolas. She looked to the guard that spoke.

I told Prince Legolas that I would meet him. He is expecting me. 

You can not pass. 

I have been doing this for the past weeks. 

Our orders were clear. 

What were your orders if I may ask? 

You may not human. 

I do not understand. Why am I not allowed to do what my Lady asked of me? 

You would not understand. Now leave, you are not even to be near our Prince. She looked at them confused as to why they would not let her up there.

I know humans do not hear as well as elves but should we speak up for you. The guard sneered. 

No. . no I. . I will leave. She turned and walked down the path feeling their eyes on her the entire time. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Legolas was becoming concerned when Zinnia had not showed up. For the past days she had never been late. It was almost an hour past their meeting time when he decided to search for her himself fearing that something serious was wrong. He left his room and started down the steps frowning when the guards came into view. 

My Prince. They bowed slightly and his eyes narrowed even more. They were the body guards that had been assigned to Noran.

Good Morning, should you both not be with Noran at the council? 

We were ordered to stay here Prince. 

By Noran? 

Yes my lord. 

What were your orders? 

We were ordered to stay here and make sure that you were not bothered. 

I am not stupid Morin. 

No prince. . I would. 

Tell me your exact orders. 

Sire we were not to let the human pass us. She was not to see you. Noran believes that.

I do not care what Noran believes. He is the King's advisor not mine. The guards both quieted at the anger in his tone. You are to go back and give him this message. I will choose whom I will and will not associate with. I am very disappointed in him for what he has done and I expect him to apologize to Lady Zinnia if she finds that it is required of him. The two nodded. I also want it known to all of the others here that she is not to be harassed by any. The first one that is brought to my attention doing so will be punished severely. Is that understood? 

Yes sir. They both answered as one. 

Where did she go when you turned her away? 

Down the path sir. He looked down and spotted her trail easily as they were the heaviest footsteps on it. 

Why are you both still here? I believe I gave you orders. He glared at the two guards and they took off after bowing to him. Sighing he started down the path hoping that Zinnia had not been hurt too badly. 

~~~~~~~~

'Why would they not let me go see him?' She let another stone go counting each time it skimmed the surface before sinking. 'And why did they call me human? I am. . but. .' She let out a breath with a small growl and threw another stone. 'Do they think that I actually attacked him? Maybe I should go back and explain.' 

What do I care for them besides. She threw her last rock harder than necessary causing it to just sink instead of skip. She sighed and frowned thinking of the words that were spoken to her. Slowly she reached up and traced the shell of her ear frowning more at the roundness of it.

You are late. She turned and looked to Legolas who was standing there.

I am not late, I was not allowed to pass. 

That has been taken care of. It was a misunderstanding. 

It was not a misunderstanding Legolas. They do not like me. Do they think I attacked you? 

No. He took a step forward and sighed. They do not think you attacked me. Legolas knew that she had never been treated poorly because of her race. He did not want to be the one to inform her that was why they had not let her pass. Nor did he wish to be the one responsible for her to find out that such a thing existed.

I would not have. The last person I attacked was. . well I thought he was hurting someone. And he was the only one I really ever meant to harm. . I apologized. She blushed and looked down to her hands. I was only fourteen then and I did not mean to injure you yesterday. 

Zinnia you speak as though you maimed me. He chuckled and she looked to him. A bruise nothing more. Nothing that is unexpected while sparing. The mark is mostly gone already, by tomorrow no one will know it was there. 

Have I done something to offend them or you then? 

No Zinnia. You have not done anything to offend any. She looked back to the pond with a frown. 

There is something. There has to be a reason. 

Since I have healed from my grievous injuries we can spar before lunch. 

Ada would not give me a dagger since I have not trained with one properly. He suggested that I get a wooden training one from Gebrir or one of the other guards. 

Then let us do that. 

Are you sure that you do not have anything that is more pressing to attend to today? He smiled at her.

I am sure, now I believe you are my guide. Please, guide me to the practice fields. 

Very well. As he watched her walk he frowned a little knowing she was still worrying over the incident. 

~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia shifted on her feet slightly nervous. After spending the day with Legolas and getting a little more information from him she had found that it was Noran who had ordered the guards there. Though she felt she should have known as he was the one that suspected her of attacking Legolas. Not that she could blame him, Legolas was his prince. She reasoned that she might have reacted the same way had she been in his position and had Lord Celeborn or Lady Galadriel been in Legolas's. Reaching up she adjusted the desert tray in her arms and knocked on the door. The cook agreed to have her deliver it.

Enter. She opened the door and entered seeing Noran at the main desk. There are some clothes to be taken to the laundry and I wish to have my room cleaned tomorrow. She walked in a little and set the tray on a nearby stand.

I will make sure that it is done Lord Noran. His eyes shot up from the letter he was writing and to her when she spoke. He frowned and she swallowed nervously

What are you doing in my room? 

I. . I brought your desert that you had requested. . and I came to explain about what you saw between Legolas and I on the practice field the other day. His eyes narrowed and he stood. 

If you touched the tray then take it back for I do not wish for anything on it. Send another for my laundry. 

Lord Noran I swear to you on everything that I am that I meant no harm to your prince. We were sparing and when I do so with my Ada, Haldir, he moves when I throw the punch. I was not thinking and. 

Enough! She stopped talking at the outburst. I do not wish to hear your excuses human. I know what I saw and you hit him on purpose. 

We were sparing! Of course I hit him on purpose, well I did not wish to hurt him but I damn well meant to hit him yes. Neither noticed Legolas at the door way. He smirked at Zinnia's comment. It is what one does when you spar. You try to best the other. 

Do not speak to me in that tone. Zinnia balled her fists to hold back her answer to that comment. 

I am sorry if I have offended you in any way. I do not know what I have done to provoke such a response from you. My intention tonight was not to upset you further. 

Your very presence upsets me. 

May I at least know what it is I have done to offend you so? 

What of you does not offend me? Your look, your smell, your ears.

Noran, you have said enough. Legolas walked into the room with a frown. You have let this go on long enough.

My ears? Noran looked to her and she suddenly realized what it was in his eyes that she recognized. It was disgust, the same look that had been in her master's eyes so long ago. I have not wronged you then! 

Of course you have. You feel as though you have the right to speak with me. Anger filled her at that. 

The right! At least I can say that I have never disliked another because of their race. You are more human than I am. The years of training with the other guards, along with the fact that Noran was himself not trained as a warrior were the only things that allowed her to stop his hand from connecting to her face. 

Noran! Legolas moved forward stepping between them pushing him back and causing Zinnia to release her grip on him. That is enough. 

You were going to hit me! They both looked back to Zinnia at her outraged shout. You were going to hit me! None will ever hit me again! Guest or not, elf or not, if you ever raise a hand to me again I will strike you first. I would rather face Celeborn and Galadriel's wrath than ever be hit again! 

Zinnia. She slapped Legolas' hand away before it could touch her shoulder. 

Tell the lord and lady, I do not care, but if you come near me again you will regret it. She gave a last glare at Noran before leaving the telain. Both heard her footsteps fall into a solid run after she left their sight. 

Zinnia! 

Let her be gone. You saw how she reacted. The typical human threatening violence. Legolas turned back to Noran and growled. 

You were the one that was going to hit her. 

Regardless, she threatened and insulted me, you heard it. I will report her and have her punished for that. Legolas took a threatening step forward causing Noran to take another back.

If you so much as think of trying to get her into trouble I will send you back to Mirkwood tomorrow. Legolas kept walking forward and Noran kept taking steps back. The only time we will appear in front of the Lord and Lady to speak of this is if she decides to bring you up on charges for almost striking her. Had that hand connected you would be in serious trouble as not only would I have punished you, the Lord and Lady would have, not to mention her father would have something to say of it. 

Her father. Noran scoffed. Haldir is not her father, he is her victim. 

SILENCE! Noran's knees hit the back of the desk chair and he fell back as Legolas leaned forward putting his hands on either side of the chair trapping Noran. If I hear one more derogatory word said about her from your mouth you will not like the consequences. Legolas' tone was low and quiet. His eyes were alive with the anger that he felt though. This time it was Noran's turn to swallow nervously. You have your opinions and I can not dictate how you should think. However, as your _prince_, I _can_ dictate how you behave on a diplomatic mission representing my land. 

My prince.

Never interrupt me again. Noran shut his mouth silencing his next words. You have shamed me and you have shamed Mirkwood. Not only could you have caused a diplomatic incident but also you would have hurt an innocent. That woman did nothing but try to resolve what she thought was a problem. She proved herself to be much better than you tonight no matter her race or yours. From this point forward I am holding you personally responsible for the others. If they mistreat or even look at her wrong I will be punishing you. Is that understood Noran? 

Yes my Prince. Legolas straightened glaring down at the elf in front of him. 

Do not doubt my word on this Noran. I know my father allows such things but I will not. 

I do not doubt you. 

See that the others feel the same on that matter as you. With that he left following after Zinnia. It veered off into the forest and though her path was harder to find he was able to track her to a tree. Looking up he spotted her high within the branches and started climbing. She looked down to him but seemed content to ignore him and looked back to the sky. Saying nothing he found a branch next to her and settled himself down. They sat in silence for long moments. 

If he wishes me to go in front of the Lord and lady I will without protest. 

He does not. You are the only one that have any reason to bring charges. She glanced over to him and then away. He followed her sight once again and looked to the stars.

The gazing platform is just over there. Ada always takes me there because I like the stars. I found this spot . . a while ago. Everyone has allowed me to think that I am the only one that knows of it. 

I did not mean to intrude on anything so private. She sighed and wiped the evidence of the few tears she had allowed to fall away. I will leave if you wish it. 

I do not wish you to leave. You can stay if you like. I would have brought you here besides. Silence fell again.

Zinnia I am sorry that you had to experience that. 

I have had others hate me, despise me even. But never since. . never since I came here. I forgot what it felt like. 

If you wish to bring him up on charges you should do so. I would be the one with no protest. 

I do not wish for any more trouble. 

Then I release you from your guide duties. She looked to him. Though I would miss our time together. 

I do not wish to stop, I have fun as well. She sighed and looked down to her hands that were in her lap. I suppose you would like to know why I reacted as I did. 

He was going to strike you, you defended yourself. That is all I need to know of the situation. 

You are not curious as to how a human came to live here? He looked over to her and shrugged.

Curious I may be, but I do not need to know the story. You are here now that is all I need to know. She dropped her eyes and he reached over taking her hand in his. Though lirimier if you wish to speak of it you can. I do not mean to silence you only to make sure you know that it is not necessary for me to know of it. I know that sometimes the past can be hurtful, to speak of it only brings back pain. 

Or help heal. He gave a small smile as she looked back up to him.

That as well. He squeezed her hand gently. 

I just do not wish you to think of me any less than you do now. 

Zinnia I do not think less of you. I think less of Noran. He is the one that is wrong. He is the one that should be ashamed. 

Thank you for those words. 

Do not thank me for the truth, as that is what those words are. There is nothing in your past that would make me think otherwise either. 

That I am not so sure of. Though, I. . for some reason I wish to tell you. I want you to know. 

Then tell me and know that I will not disappoint you. 

Before here, before Ada, before my uncles, before Lórien I lived in Rohan. I think it was Rohan as it is the closest to here. I was a slave, treated as such. She closed her eyes lowering her head. Legolas squeezed her hand in comfort again. Many things happened there that. . that I would choose not to remember. The beatings and other abuse. She pulled her legs to her chin wrapping one arm around them but letting Legolas continue to hold her hand. I had a brother then, Alar, one night. . one night we ran. I do not remember why. She opened her eyes and looked to Legolas when he moved to the tree branch in front of her. He took her other hand and nodded at her to continue. 

We ran forever. It seemed like it anyway. We were only children. A few tears started falling down her face.

How old were you? 

Eight I think. His hands tightened on hers and she sighed. Alar was younger by two years. I remember that clearly. We ran, we ran and ran but he still found us. He found us and. . and well he. . Alar tried to stop him but master just turned on him and kept hitting him. Over and over and over yelling and screaming. She looked up to him. I found a rock and hit him as hard as I could. After that we ran into the woods. Haldir and my uncles found us soon after. 

What of your brother? He knew that she had no brother now and could guess at his fate, but he also knew that she needed to speak of it.

He did not last past the night we ran into the woods. His. . his wounds were too serious. Ada said he was bleeding internally, I was too young then to understand. So. . I know why humans are not liked. 

It is unfair to think of a whole race poorly for what one or a handful of others have done. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. You possess a strength that passes my capability to comprehend lirimier. He moved back and she looked into his eyes. To have survived such torment and still become the joyful spirit that you are. Do not let someone as trivial as Noran dishearten you. With a small smile he let go of her hands and wiped the tears from her face. She leaned forward and he wrapped his arms around her as she put her head on his shoulder. 

You are the first person I have told other than family. 

Then I can only hope I prove myself worthy of your trust and friendship. She closed her eyes with a sigh and pulled him into her own embrace. 

You already have Legolas. Legolas smiled and held her a little tighter. He pulled back after a few more minutes of holding her and smiled even more. It has been a long time since I studied the night sky. Will you help me remember my constellations? 

Would you rather go to the gazing platform? The view is slightly clearer. 

If you would not mind, I would like to stay here. 

I do not mind. She smiled at him and he returned it. 

Then we must resituate. Expecting him to sit on the limb next her he surprised her by motioning her forward. As she moved forward he moved around behind her sitting back against the tree trunk. Much better, now which is your favorite? She laughed slightly.

Favorite. I do not know if I have a favorite. I always see the trees of Silver and Gold first. Though I believe that has more to do with their easy shape than the fact that they are a favored of mine. A small thrill ran through her when he laughed and his arms settled around her waist. 

Then show me that one. She did not believe that he did not know such a simple constellation but she did not call him on it. Instead she pointed it out and told him of it. He seemed content to listen to her and she was content to have something to keep her mind off her nervousness of the position that they were in now. When he asked for another she leaned back into him relaxing but wary that he would push her away. His only response was to move his arms tighter around her and prompt her to answer. She smiled and did as he asked relaxing fully in the process. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldirtinu = Daughter of Haldir (see below for more information) 

Lirimier = Lovely one

Language: I took the form of Haldirtinu from the LOTR dialogue in which Haldir refers to Legolas as Thranduilion. I realize now that the elvish I have been using is Gray Company Elvish. I did not realize that anything was wrong with that until I was reading another fan fiction that had the information on it. It seems that Gray Company elvish is a butchered form of elvish and Quena with most of it made up to suit their purposes. They are a role playing game so they made it easier for them to use, which is completely understandable. 

I have decided that I am not going to fix any of the past chapters for the simple reason that I feel it is not necessary. I am going to keep using the Gray Company language for the rest of this story. If I ever have anymore stories I will use proper Sindarin though. 

Thank you for all of the reviews! I get all warm and gooey inside every time I read one.


	20. Preparations

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse. 

**A/N:** I plan on updating with the next chapter tomorrow or the next day. Have a great holiday!

Thanks to Mellon1 for looking this over for me.

Chapter 20: Preparations 

Zinnia sighed happily as she sat down. She was back to her old routine of reading in the mornings and practicing with the other guards in the afternoon. Legolas was called into the negotiations simply for traditional purposes. He would attend the last of the negotiations and sign the treaty in his father's place. It was nothing more than ceremony but it was still observed. Until the feast she would only be able to see Legolas in the afternoons or nights. Smiling as she remembered the feast was only a few days away she settled down to read. As always she was lost in the writing on the page within a few words. 

Have you seen the human? Zinnia's head lifted from her book at those words. Hours had passed as she had sat under her favorite tree reading her history lesson. It hid her from the path directly behind her. 

Indeed how could one miss her? In a wood of such beauty she stands out as a shadow in a lighted room. The voices were unfamiliar with her and she guessed that they were some of the elves from Mirkwood. I do not see why they allow her to stay any longer, or even why they allowed her to remain under these branches in the first place. 

And that she claims to be Haldir's daughter! Like any elf could sire that. There was laughter and Zinnia's face flushed red. He must have great pity for her to keep her and allow her to call him that. 

I wonder if he can hide his grimace when she speaks to him. 

She has been assigned to the prince as well. I do not believe this is what his father had in mind when sending him here. The king wanted Legolas to spend time away from men. Had he known there was one of those dirty beasts roaming these woods I doubt Thranduil would have let Legolas out of the kingdom. 

I will never understand the Prince's fascination with the world of men. They should not be associated with. There is no point. They are only dirty and rude, some more than others. There was more laughter and tears started running from Zinnia's eyes as the voices drifted away. She stayed where she was at until she had her tears under control then left to go back to her room. 

She knew she wasn't like the others. It was obvious in every way, but it had never been spoken of before. Not since she had gotten to the woods had any words of malice towards her ever been spoken. 'Not to my ears.' She thought another tear falling. 'Not to my round ears.' Fear that they were right ripped through her. As she walked she tried to remember any times when she was speaking to Haldir or any other and they grimaced at her. 'He calls me daughter though. He. . he doesn't think those things about me.' She ran up the steps and immediately went into her room when reaching the telain. 'Orophin and Rúmil call me niece.' 

'Ada. . Haldir has never given me any reason to think that he has ever not loved me. He says it all the time, the very fact that I am still here. If he did not wish it I would no longer be here. He is not one to let things continue that he does not like. And he has never lied to me, not once. Not once.' The doubts still ate at her though. 'It is just them. Just those elves from Mirkwood! No one else here has ever treated me as they do. They have never called me human or. . or looked at me as they do.' 

She laid on her bed for hours trying to convince herself that the elves words were false. That Haldir did want her and love her as a daughter. But she knew they were right in that she was human. No elf would have ever made her and she suddenly wondered why Haldir would want her as a daughter. She wasn't pretty like the others, she wasn't really good at anything, she couldn't sing, she couldn't paint, she couldn't draw, she was no where near the level of an elf on anything. She heard laughter and voices coming closer and figured Haldir and her uncles had returned. 

Zinnia. Haldir called out. He walked back to her bedroom and knocked on the door.

Come in. 

Zinnia, come dinner is approaching. Orophin invited us to his table this night, he said with a smile. 

I am not hungry. Haldir paused when he heard her voice. There was sadness in it. I think I would rather just sleep. He watched her back as she curled even tighter under the covers. 

Are you not feeling well? Should I fetch a healer? 

No, I am just tired. Go ahead without me, I had a late lunch besides. 

If that is your want. 

It is. He paused for a moment. 

Do not forget your appointment at the tailors tomorrow. Your dress needs fitted. He smiled at her sigh.

I will not forget ad. . She trailed off before finishing the word. I will be there. 

Are you sure you wish to stay? asked Haldir.

Yes, do not worry for me. He still hesitated hearing a note to her voice that unsettled him. Go and let me sleep. 

Very well, do you wish me to bring something back for you? 

No, I am fine. Haldir nodded silently and left the room with a frown. He missed the tears falling down her face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I do not wish to go to the feast. Zinnia's sudden admission caused Haldir to look to her. Breakfast had been quiet when normally it was loud and filled with laughter. He knew something was wrong but he was at a loss as to find out as to what. 

You were so excited before, what caused you to change your mind? She shrugged as she continued to wash the dishes. 

I am no longer interested. I would rather do something else. Haldir frowned and stood walking over and taking the dish from her to dry. 

Will you tell me what is wrong? 

Nothing is wrong I just no longer wish to go. 

I do not believe this sudden change in you happened without a cause. 

Cause or not I no longer wish to go. 

You begged me for months. He set the dish down and went to touch her and frowned even more when she shied away from him.

I simply do not wish to go! She walked away leaving a very confused and unsettled Haldir behind. He finished clearing the dishes before tracking her down intent on finding some answers. She was curled up under her favorite tree looking over the small glade. 

It would help me if you would make me understand this sudden change. She didn't startle as he had made sure to make some noise approaching. 

I have simply decided that. . that I would rather not go. Why can you not just accept that? 

Perhaps it was because you would not speak to me for over a week because I told you that you could not go. 

I was wrong. Haldir raised an eyebrow at that. It usually took much persuasion to get that statement out of her. 

Were you? Then I was not wrong? You are too young. 

Yes. 

What happened to the argument that if you were in a human city you would already be receiving marriage proposals? 

I am not in a human city. He sighed as she was using his own words against him as he used hers against her. Though perhaps I should be. He looked at her a moment before responding. 

Do you wish to visit a city? If you do I will speak with Lord Celeborn and see if we can accompany the next.

You are not listening to me! Haldir quieted at her rather uncharacteristic outburst. I wish to do more than visit. 

Another sudden change. 

The hearts of mortals are unreliable and shifty are they not. 

Who said that? 

I read it in a book. Haldir moved forward and put a hand on her shoulder, which she immediately moved away from.

Aier please. . I only wish to understand. His tone was sad as he pulled his hand back.

Why did you let me stay with you? The question took him off guard and he wondered why she would ask it.

I took you in because you needed a home and I had one to share. 

Because you pitied me. 

No, because I wished to protect you. She was silent and sat down her back facing him. Where are these questions coming from? He heard her sniff and saw her wipe her face. 

Maybe it is time that I found my own place. 

You are only a child aier I can not allow you go alone. 

I. . I am old enough for my race. They were right I should not stay here anymore and. . and I should just leave. 

Who was right? 

It does not matter. 

It does, said Haldir softly. He heard her sniff again and moved closer. Tell me what has you so troubled.

Do you mind that I call you father? 

Never. He was slightly surprised she would even question that and put his hand on her back. 

I would never have come from an elf. He moved next to her and put his arm around her pulling her closer to him.

No, you would not be you if you had. She looked to him and he wiped a few tears away. You would not be so full of life, so vibrant, so unique. 

I am only that because there are no other humans here. 

You are special even among other humans. 

Why? She sniffed again and looked away. I am not special in any way. I can not do the things you can or. . or anything. . . I do not even look as an elf why should I remain among you? 

Do you believe that matters to any here? 

It matters to some. He frowned and automatically thought of the Mirkwood elves. It was no secret what Thranduil thought of humans, his thoughts and those of his kingdom did not extend to all elvin Lands. Thranduil blamed humans for his father's death, as he blamed Elrond and Gil-galad.

It does not to me. At one time. . I will not lie in saying that I have always thought as such. I have been to human cities before and my opinion has always been low. He felt her tense at try to move away but he held her closer. My opinion has changed, it changed the night a small child threatened me with a stick protecting a loved one. He pulled back and tilted her head up to make sure that she was looking at him. It kept changing the more I was with you. The more you became a part of me, the more you became my daughter. I do not care what race you are, I do not care what blood flows through you, for above everything else you are my daughter. 

It is wrong for an elf to love a mortal or a mortal to love an elf. You should not love me and I should not lo.

It is not wrong. Haldir pulled her closer and she went with him almost clutching. Love is never wrong. 

None would love me besides . . . they say I am dirty. 

You are not, said Haldir fiercely. You are not dirty, you are not soiled, you are not anything less than any elf. 

Then why did they say it? Why do they think it? She looked up to him and a few tears ran down her cheeks. It must be based in truth for them to think it valid. 

No, no my sweet none of their words held any truth. He wiped the tears away and pulled her closer again enveloping her in a hug. They are. . close minded and biased. I believe they are frightened of humans. Our time here is ending and all know that ultimately it will be humans who remain. You will inherit the earth that we have held on to for so long. Many of my kind do not like change. We fear it after living for many endless years. You represent change in a changeless land. 

They have to justify their fear by making you less than them. They have to be able to tell themselves that they are not frightened of you by trying to degrade you. Their words are not truth daughter. They are not but lies. Do not listen to them and do not be affected by them. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her head. Besides I love you and since I am the best elf in these woods, aside from the Lord and Lady of course.

Of course, she said in a sniff with a smile on her face.

As I was saying since I love you obviously all your doubts are groundless. 

Ada. He looked down to her upturned face. I love you too. He smiled. 

Then I am the luckiest elf in all of Arda as well as the best in these woods. 

Except for the Lord and Lady of course.

Oh of course, he said with a nod. She smiled then laughed and he smiled hearing the sound that had brought him such joy over the years. No more tears today? She shook her head slowly and wiped her face. Now truthfully do you wish to go to the feast this year? 

I. . I do not know. She sighed and sat up straight. I want to but I do not wish to be a joke to them. Maybe it would be better if I go next instead. 

You are not and will never be a joke. Haldir took her hand in his. Do not let them influence you. He tilted her head up until they were looking at each other. Show them they are wrong. 

How? 

Do not let them control your actions my sweet. They are wrong and let them know that by ignoring them. Show them by going and having the fun you would have without them there. 

I will. He smiled at her and she returned it. 

Good, now I believe we were supposed to practice our archery this morning as Legolas is in meetings and I am not. She nodded. Then we shall until your tailor appointment. 

~~~~~~~~~~

That night Haldir ended up being called to a meeting after dinner and Zinnia decided to stay at Orophin's for a while. Zinnia was sitting on a chair reading a book and Orophin was sprawled out on the couch doing the same. It worked out for her because she had some questions she intended to get answers to. Answers she needed to help her decide something that had been on her mind for the past weeks.

Uncle?

Humm Orophin's tone was distracted.

How do I know if I want to have sex? Orophin spluttered his wine and started coughing and wiping it off his tunic and book he had been reading. He looked over to Zinnia who had a serious but amused look on her face. 

Perhaps you should ask your father about that. Zinnia sighed and rolled her eyes.

He has told me about sex. If I asked him he would only repeat what he has already told me. All he talks of is the act itself. Besides after all that he would simply say I am too young then leave it at that. 

Rúmil? 

He would start spouting poetry. I love him but his poetry is slightly . . . boring. No if I wanted to know more of the physical specifics of sex I would go to Ada. If I wanted to learn about love poetry and songs I would go to uncle Rúmil.

Though I get the other questions. She nodded and smiled at him. 

I have heard some of the other elves talking and you are well liked in that area. 

Oh? 

Yes. The first Summer Solstice feast is usually when elves take their first lover. 

That is true.

And I think why Ada was so insistent I not go. 

That is true as well. He sighed and sat up turning to her. 

Galadriel specifically invited me this year. I think that means I am old enough. 

Blossom . . . He sighed again. Yes, for men you are old enough. Your age would be the equivalent of an elf who first attended this feast. 

But for elves I am still a baby. She looked down to her hands and sighed. I will always be a baby. 

No. She looked back up to him. You will not, you are no longer despite Haldir's obvious refusal to see with his eyes and not his heart. He looked to her for a moment. Perhaps we should have this conversation over cake. They settled at the kitchen table. A generous slice of well iced cake was in front of both of them before their conversation resumed.

So how do I know? 

Well, when two people care about and respect each other. She looked to him and raised an eyebrow and he couldn't help but laugh. She could have been Haldir's daughter. She was Haldir's daughter he corrected himself and smiled at her fondly. Covered?

Ada. 

Ah. He took a small bite of cake. Do you have a specific person in mind? She nodded. And what do you feel when you think of this person? 

I like him. He is fun to talk to and. . . and I like him. 

You trust him. She nodded slowly. You must be sure. Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship. 

I trust him. He has never been anything but nice and caring towards me since I have met him. Though it has only been a short time . . . it is like. . I know he would never hurt me. I. . . I even told him everything and he. . he did not pity me. Orophin digested this information for a moment. Her past was very tumultuous for her and she hated telling anyone. She would have had to trust this person with her very being to speak of it at all. 

Do you like him in that manor?

I find him attractive. She fidgeted slightly. I count moments to see him again. He smiled and took another bite of cake as she did. 

Love?

No. . . I do not think so. He is a good friend and. . . . no it is not love. Something less but something more. She sighed. I do not know, but I feel I have known him much longer than any other here. I feel comfortable with him. And. . and I think that he would . . he would make this enjoyable for me. He was slightly relieved that it was only harmless infatuation. 

I can not answer your question my blossom. She looked up to him her mouthful of cake and he smiled. Only you will know if it is right. The question you have to be asking yourself is do you have any doubts? If you do, it might be best to wait. I will not lie to you; sex can be a wonderful thing. Between two people who care for each other it is . . almost beyond description. Something uniquely shared between you and your partner no matter how many times one engages in it or with however many partners. 

But it can be bad. She started squishing the cake with her fork and he watched her. He knew of her past experiences. The ones she had at the hands of the monster that had her before she was with them. Haldir had spoken to him of it when he could no longer hold it in. 

It can be used to dominate and control. Agreed Orophin. Though no elf would ever use sex as a weapon over another. It is against everything we stand for, everything we are. Sex to us, is something to be shared and treasured. Something of beauty and magnificence, something of nature both physically and mentally. It can only be as such when all are willing and even eager participants. 

Will he want me like that? I mean after everything. . he knows. . not the details and all but.. . She trailed off and slouched slightly. 

Zinnia, if he is the right one to share your true first experience with then your past experiences would not matter to him. Not in regards to being with you. Perhaps how he approached you. Your past will have no sway in his decision to share this with you. It should not. He should be honored you have chosen him. She sighed and put more cake in her mouth. There was silence while she chewed. 

How do I let him know? 

Traditionally, at the feast the female offers the male she is interested in her crown. 

I know that, I have read the books, she said with an eye roll. I do not wish to do it so publicly. I will not be made a fool of in front of the other Mirkwood elves. There was an edge to her voice he understood and accepted. He knew it had to be hard for her to live with elves as she was a human. Even harder now that some of the more biased Mirkwood elves were here.

Then my advice to you, would be to ask him before the feast. Tell him that you would like to choose him. 

What if he says no?

Then he was undeserving of your gift. 

And if he says yes? 

I will try to enlist Rúmil to help me keep Haldir from killing him. She looked up to him and smiled. You think I am joking? She laughed as he did. 

What if he says yes and. . and I end up not being able to. . She trailed off again and he looked to her.

It is your decision. Simply because you have chosen him does not mean that you must complete the act. Sex is. . sex is more than just sex. She looked to him confused. There is more to it than what Haldir told you I am sure. He clarified. Perhaps you will not be ready to fully participate in joining but that does not mean you are unready for kissing, touching, or any of the other various activities that sex entails. Your partner will respect that and if you wish to stop or not continue at any time just tell him. You do not have to do anything you do not wish to. 

He will not think me weak for not being able to go through with it then? 

No. There was a moment's pause. If you do not mind me asking . . . who are you thinking of choosing? 

Legolas, she said quietly. Maybe, I have not decided if I should even try. She looked up to him. Do not tell Ada. 

I will not. Orophin smiled. He wasn't suicidal there was no way he would be informing Haldir of this conversation. If I may offer some more advice. She nodded. Ask him. If you feel that you wish for this, ask him. You will never know if you do not try. It will be better to look back at this moment and know for certain what his answer would be than look back and wonder. There was another pause. And if you ever tell Haldir I said that I will deny it beyond the end of Arda. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After reading the same sentence for the fifth time and still not knowing what it said Zinnia shut her book and laid back on the bench she was sitting on with a loud sigh. She had been thinking of her conversation with Orophin since last night but still couldn't come to a decision. 'Do I want to?' She had been asking herself that question for days now. It was common knowledge that many elves took their first lovers the night of their first feast. Though she had never met anyone she had ever thought of in that way seriously, until she saw Legolas. 'Will I be able to let him touch me like that? Would he even want to?' She sighed loudly again.

What troubles you friend? She jumped into a sitting position opening her eyes. Legolas only smiled at her and sat down on the ground. I would have heard your sighs even if I were a dwarf. She looked to him and then smiled. 

Perhaps just a lesson. He looked to her book and plucked it from her fingers. 

I do not think that a history of Rohan would be that vexing. There are but a few battles between all the horse grooming and breeding. He thumbed through it. 

True. She reached over and took the book back from him. He only looked to her and grinned. 

Is that all you do the days you are not forced to lead me around? Read. Do you not have a feast to ready for?

The feast is more than ten hours away. Even with all of the hair twisting and other tortures Suvel will inflict on me it should only take an hour to ready myself. Perhaps your time would be better spent primping. 

I do not primp. 

Of course not. Her tone was nothing but sarcastic as she set the book next to her. 

I do not.

I agreed with you. She looked to him innocently. 

Of course you did. 

We are together in this then, she said with a nod and a smile. Should you not be off with some of your many advisors or some such? 

Nay, the meetings are done, the treaty signed. Now all I must fulfill is my appearance at the feast. All of the other items of business are being taken care of through said advisors. 

Ah, so you decided to come bother me? 

I decided to take a walk and found you, and then decided to bother you. He grinned cheekily at her. Who decides your lessons besides? Rohan is rather boring. 

That would be Suvel; I should tell her you said that. Prince or not you would most likely hear something over it.

That I am right. Have you learned of Gondor yet? Of their line?

Yes, Suvel thought I should at least read a book of Rohan. I have no plans of ever going there though. There was silence for a moment and Legolas cursed himself for bringing that up. 

You have plans of going other places? 

I would like to see Rivendell, perhaps Gondor. Mirkwood has ever fascinated me but I doubt I will ever travel there. 

No? Is there something against my homeland? She looked down and he tilted his head.

Well beyond the fact that Ada would never allow such a dangerous journey I doubt I would be well received there. 

Oh, and what makes you say that? he asked with a smile. 

My ears are not pointed. She sighed at his change in expression. I heard. . some others talking. They do not wish for me here I can only imagine should I be in your forest.

Who? His tone was cold and harsh causing her to look to him. 

It does not matter. 

It does, tell me who they were and I will deal with them. 

I only heard their voices, honestly I. . . I have dealt with it. Ada has helped me to understand. 

Not all from Mirkwood feel as they do Zinnia, said Legolas in a sigh. I have never understood my father's or the others feelings towards other races. Most of the humans I have met were no different than any elf. Other than physical appearances and capabilities one would not know the difference. He shrugged slightly. I have never met a dwarf, but I hope that should I ever I would try be open minded and courteous. 

To a dwarf? The scandal. He looked at her and smiled. 

I did say try, my success is another matter. She chuckled and his smile grew. If you ever wish to visit Mirkwood you are more than welcome. That is should your father allow you, you would be my guest. 

I thank you prince. She sighed and stretched her legs out. But Ada would never allow it. Perhaps further in the future. 

The invitation is for when you wish to claim it. He stood suddenly. Let us walk; it is too nice of a day to say in one spot for long. She smiled and took his hand so he could help her up. 

They talked for most of the afternoon, even having lunch together in a small clearing. He actually helped her with the lesson that she was supposed to be studying by telling her of Rohan. He had been there once when he was younger. As the day passed he noticed that she was becoming slightly more agitated and more introspective. His suspicion that something was bothering her was only proved when he asked her the same question repeatedly. 

I am sorry what did you say? He smiled at her and pulled the blade of grass from her fingers. 

What I had said is of no importance. What bothers you? His eyebrow rose slightly when she blushed. 

I. . have been trying to make a decision. 

It must be terribly important if it is taking up so much of your thoughts. Perhaps talking through it would help. 

I have spoken to someone of my thoughts.

And?

And he said that it would be only I that would know how to decide.

As most decisions are. There was silence for a few moments as she started playing with the grass again. If you do not wish to talk to me of it I will not ask again. 

No, it is not that. . just. . She sighed and blushed a little more. I am no good at this so I will simply say it. She sat up and looked to him. This is my first Summer Solstice feast and I wish to know if you would consent to being my first lover. She couldn't look at him and started fidgeting with her hands. 

Traditionally one would ask by offering their crown. 

I know. . I know but I . . I can not do that if you will say no. Not in front of the others. 

You are so certain my answer will by no? She missed the tone of his voice and thought that he had answered. Her shoulders slumped slightly and her face reddened more.

Of course. . I mean I am human and young. Not to mention it is not really my first expe. She was cut off when he grabbed her hand and pulled her chin up gently. 

Never think that it is not. He let his hand drop from her chin and placed it on top of her hand which he was still holding with his other. Do not take those experiences as what lovers share. Those were a warped perversion of what it should be between two people. She looked up to him and he smiled softly bringing her hand up and kissing the back of it. You honor me. He kissed her palm. Should you offer me your crown tonight lirimier I will accept it with pride and affection. She blushed and he smiled at her. 

I do not know if I will be able to fully. . He only smiled a little more. 

There is no set. . course of action one could say. She looked up to him. Nor is there any time limit. Nothing will ever be forced upon you again. He leaned in closer and brushed his lips across hers in an almost chaste kiss. Almost but not quite. He continued moving his lips brushing against her cheek before settling near her ear. 

If you decide to offer me the crown I will accept it. If you feel you are not yet ready do not rush things. They will come in time. She leaned into him a little more and her eyes closed. He pulled back slowly and they looked at each other. Either way you decide I will be your friend, always. 

Will you kiss me again? He grinned at her but complied. This kiss was more solid and lingered a little longer than the first. His hands reached up and cupped her face before he pulled back. 

The hour grows late and we both must ready. She nodded and he pulled further away from her before standing and offering his hand to her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The prince? 

Yes Rúmil the prince! Will you pull the muck from your ears and listen to me. 

Well, she is old enough, why are you telling me this Orophin? 

She is old enough yes, but only to us. Haldir looks to her and still sees a ten year old hanging upside down from a tree branch.

Well in all fairness she still does that. 

Rúmil. Orophin sighed. Rúmil, what will Haldir's reaction be at seeing his daughter, his daughter that he thinks still a child, his daughter that he thinks still needs his absolute protection, offering her crown to Prince Legolas. 

Ah, yes we will have a problem. 

That is a mild statement to war between Mirkwood and Lórien when their prince is killed by Lórien's march warden. Rúmil laughed at his brother. 

Do not fret so. He put his arm over Orophin's shoulders. It will be fine. Haldir will understand. Orophin looked to his brother and raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief at the statement. She must grow to his eyes at some point. Do you remember your first feast? 

Yes. Orophin said with a fond smile remembering.

Mother almost locked you in your room before we left. Lamenting that her baby was to young to participate. Orophin reddened slightly at that. 

Yes, well I was fifty. Mother had fifty years of having me grow under her love and guidance. Of her protection and she understood that I did not need it all of the time. Haldir has had only ten years Rúmil, ten years. Though I believe that every day of those was filled with as much love and protectiveness as mother filled my thousands. He will not understand because he does not see her as human. She is his daughter and as such she is still a baby to him. She is only eighteen to him, not fifty, not of age. He even went to the lady to protest her invite. 

What? Rúmil was surprised at that news not having heard it before. 

You were away at the boarders. He marched up to them and said she was too young. Our cheeky little niece wouldn't talk to him for two weeks after that. Not until he agreed to let her go. 

Oi, we have a problem. Should we tell him? Warn him of it. 

That Rúmil is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. Why do we not go knock on Mordor's gates and see if Sauron will play a game of cards with us. That would involve less risk of our meeting Mandos than telling Haldir his daughter plans on bedding the prince of Mirkwood! 

You make an excellent point. Perhaps I should just tell him that you helped her decide to do just that. 

You do that and I will tell him that you were the one that gave her the idea to dye all his shirts pink when she was twelve. 

You gave her the dye. 

How was I to know she would dye her hair as well? Besides that would not matter as I would already be dead. 

Perhaps we should involve the Lord and Lady. Orophin thought about that for a moment. 

It is a private matter they should not be involved.

It will not remain private if we are pulling our brother off the prince. 

True.

Perhaps we should try to get him to a high level of drunkenness. 

His aim would be off then. Legolas's chances of survival could only improve. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aier = Little One

Lirimier = Lovely one

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays! I hope everyone is having a great time and got everything they wanted! 

You could always spread the holiday cheer and review! Thanks bunches!

A/N: I just wanted to explain a little of my views on elves and sex. Maybe clarify anything if you are confused. I think that elves, as mature and old as they are wouldn't have the same views on sex we would. They would simply see it as another expression of emotion as well as friendship. That said I don't think they just run around having sex with everyone they meet. I think that they must have a strong relationship with the other person, but they wouldn't wait until marriage. 

In my world, to elves sex is just another step in growing up. Another thing that all adults do that is part of their lives. I hope that came through in this chapter and that this explanation was unnecessary. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that this isn't just some light decision between either Zinnia or Legolas. They formed a deep friendship. One in which Zinnia is comfortable enough to tell him of her past and also to trust him enough with this part of her future. Everything gets wrapped up in the next chapter! It will be up within the next couple of days. 


	21. The Feast

A/N: **Zinnia is not really in love with Legolas, and Legolas is not in love with Zinnia**. I just wanted to make sure that everyone understands this. They are good friends, at least I hope I established that as that was my intention. The author note at the end of the last chapter explains a little more about elves themselves. She chose him for this because at that moment she felt ready. She was attracted to Legolas, as well as comfortable with him and trusted him completely. They do love each other, as friends, really close friends, but they are not in romantic love with one another.

Zinnia will find romantic love, and marriage is in her future. But neither is going to be with an elf. I know that crushes some hearts out there, but I hope the end result will repair some of the damage ;-) Just see. . I can't have her fall in love with an elf or the ending just doesn't work. You'll meet the lucky man in the next chapter. . or should I say Zinnia will meet him in the next chapter. . bwahahahahaha.

Chapter 21: The Feast 

Zinnia took a sip of her drink and watched the others dancing around the court. Many of the females had already given their crowns to males. Orophin already had one on his head and was dancing with the one that had given it to him. She sighed and looked over the crowd seeing Legolas. He was almost resplendent in his formal robes. They were of a dark green and silver. He was dancing with a very beautiful she-elf.

'They are all beautiful.' She thought with an eye roll. Fidgeting she looked down to her dress and sighed. There were so many colors in the room, the dancers looked like a swirling rainbow. They were all there from the palest of yellows to the darkest of blacks. She was the only one wearing white though. To symbolize that it was her first feast. Normally there would be others, but she was the only one of all in attendance that had never been to a Summer Solstice feast before. Reaching up she scratched her head under her crown of red roses. Again, she was the only one wearing a pure red crown. 

Looking back to Legolas she almost sighed again but held herself. Taking another small sip of wine she put her glass down and grabbed a few grapes to wet her mouth instead. Ever since she had gotten drunk on finding some of Rúmil's wine when she had been younger, she lost her taste for it. She almost choked on the grape in her mouth when she saw the elf Legolas was dancing with offer him her crown. He smiled widely and kissed the back of her hand before placing the crown back on her head. The elf bowed to him then left looking for a new partner. He met Zinnia's eyes from across the dance floor and his smile grew a little larger as a blush ran across her features. 

Will you dance with me?

Valar Ada you are trying to kill me! She slapped her hand over her chest from the sudden jolt of adrenaline. He chuckled and leaned down looking to where she had been but saw nothing but dancers.

What has your attention so captured? 

Nothing, just watching the dancers. Her stammer and her blush told him otherwise though.

You should not be watching aier you should be dancing. He held his hand out to her and she grinned before taking it. 

But ada you have already danced with me this night. 

Then I shall dance with you some more. He answered with a grin taking her out to the dance floor. She laughed as he spun her around. 

Should you not be looking for your own partner? They came back together. 

My own partner? She grinned at him.

Yes, I am sure you would get offered a crown if you danced with one other than your own daughter. 

I enjoy dancing with my daughter. Her grin turned into a smile as they continued dancing to the music. As another song was to begin Galadriel walked up to them. 

May I cut in? 

Of course my lady. Zinnia bowed to Galadriel and Haldir kissed the back of her hand before Galadriel took her place. As she turned to walk back to the table she faced the one person she had kind of been avoiding. 

May I have this dance my lady? I have not yet had the honor this eve. 

I. . do not. He took her hand.

It is only a dance, nothing more. Your decisions are yours, but know I will wait for it. 

I would love to dance with you. He grinned and pulled her to him as the music started. Why did you not accept? 

Accept what lirimier? She blushed lightly. 

Her crown. She is beautiful, even for an elf. 

She was fair, yes. He agreed. There are many types of beauty in this world; you are young yet to have seen many of them. Know that not all beauty is without; the most stunning beauty is found within. One may have to look a little harder for it but when it is uncovered you will find it was well worth the effort. The dance turned from an almost lively tune to a slow dance and they transitioned easily as the other dancers did. Besides hers was not the offer I wish to accept. Zinnia blushed again. Let us not worry for that now, for now, he spun her around with the music, let us dance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia looks stunning tonight. Haldir smiled widely at Galadriel.

She does. I tried to tell her that and she only rolled her eyes. Galadriel laughed. 

You are her father Haldir. Of course she would. 

Yes, she took compliments from her uncles easily enough. 

She has grown into a beautiful woman, though she was a beautiful child, it should not come as a surprise. Haldir smiled slightly.

She still has many years to grow yet. 

She has many years to learn, she is done growing in the sense that you mean Haldir. She should have guessed that Haldir would not have been prepared for tonight. Her hope had been that the invitation itself would have been sufficient. 

Done, I do not think so; she is young yet for such a statement. 

Ah, but done she is Haldir. She will grow no more, and soon her nurturing will pass beyond your complete influence. The song ended and Haldir frowned looking at Galadriel.

What do you speak of my Lady? His tone was thoroughly confused as he was. Her only response was to smile at him. 

My lady may I have this dance? She smiled at the young guard and then looked back to Haldir.

She is a woman Haldir, you must remember that. Treat her like a child and all progress you have made will slip. She turned to the guard and took his hand. Haldir bowed to her though it was more reflex than thinking on his part. His mind was still trying to unravel her meaning behind her last statement. 

Haldir. Haldir turned to Celeborn. I trust your evening is going well. I see that Zinnia's is. Haldir followed Celeborn's gaze to the dance floor and saw Zinnia blushing heavily at something that Legolas whispered in her ear. A surge of pure protectiveness washed over him. The only thing stopping him from walking over and separating the two was Celeborn's hand that went to his shoulder. I remember Celebrían's first feast. Haldir looked to Celeborn. I glowered at any that approached her until Galadriel distracted me. 

She . . she is too young. He is taking advantage of her youth. 

Haldir. Celeborn handed him a glass of wine. She is of age.

She is eighteen!

She is human. 

She. . she is too young. She does not understand what she is doing. He will hurt her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remember when I would stand on my father's feet in order to dance. Legolas smiled at her. 

Then you have much improved. 

I am nervous Legolas. 

There is no reason. He pulled her a little closer and she blushed. Her eyes flickered over to some of the Mirkwood elves who were scowling and he felt her stiffen. Lirimier do not worry for them. They are inconsequential. What matters is you, your feelings, your wants and needs. Not theirs, not their prejudices or biases. She smiled at him though she was still nervous. 

You are a good friend. He smiled at her.

I am. 

I especially enjoy your modest nature.

I am at times a bit too unassertive of my character. Perhaps I should work on it. 

You should, I am surprised that one would find such bashfulness in a prince. 

It can be a deficit, but I find that my charismatic personality makes up for such failings. She chuckled. Not to mention my highly above average looks. Though none has said so directly to me, I know I outshine even the Evenstar. 

I think Arwen would have something to say about that. 

Oh she would titter in agreement I am sure. He smiled then laughed with her. 

Though I was only eleven last I saw her, I can assure you that Arwen does not titter. 

You are correct. Perhaps I was thinking of her brothers. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir, she is of age. You knew that she would age faster when you took her in. He sighed when Haldir's eyes narrowed as Zinnia laughed openly and freely at something Legolas had said. Do you have that much doubt in her? He understood what Haldir was going through having had to let go of a daughter himself once. It had come as no surprise when Orophin and Rúmil had come to them asking for help.

Her I have no doubt in, it is the one that is deceiving her that worries me. Haldir sharply looked to Celeborn when he laughed. 

I am sorry Haldir, but those were close to the same sentiments that I spoke when Celebrían gave away her crown the first time. Celeborn sighed again but smiled knowingly. Have faith in her Haldir. She more than any of us will know when she is ready. If she feels that now is the time and Legolas is the person, who are we to say anything against it. You have raised her well, if she trusts Legolas than you must trust her decision. 

I. . Haldir looked back to the dancers spotting the two he wanted to see. I do not wish for her to be of age yet. 

No parent ever does when faced with the fact that their child is no longer a child. Celeborn looked over just in time to see Zinnia hold her crown out to Legolas. He smiled when Legolas bowed and allowed her to put it on his head. Come my friend. Celeborn put his arm over Haldir's shoulders. Let us share a drink together. He thought for a moment Haldir was going to ignore him and charge forward to rip the two apart. The moment passed and Haldir sighed.

Perhaps more than one. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir looked up from the drawing in his hand when he heard footsteps climbing the stairs. He had left the feast shortly after finishing of a bottle of wine between him and Celeborn. If he had stayed he knew things would have probably only grown worse for him. He couldn't stay and watch the others now that he no longer had a child.

Zinnia? 

Hello ada. She closed the door and dropped her dress from her arms. I swear, how can one wear dresses all of the time? Impractical inventions no matter their beauty. She paused a moment and looked to him before smiling. What are you looking at? He looked back down to the drawing as she moved around and leaned on the chair looking over his shoulder. Valar, she laughed and he smiled at the sound, that is hideous. 

It is not. It is beautiful. 

Ada, that is the ugliest bird I have ever seen. I think it is a bird. 

It is a bird, one you drew for me when you were ten. She smiled and looked to the wooden box that was sitting on the floor. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw all of the papers in there. 

My drawings? You kept them. She moved and sat next to it pulling out a few and looking through them.

Of course I did. I could never throw such away. You loved to draw. 

I still do, I just. . am not very good. She pulled a few more out and smiled at them. 

Not that I mind you are here, but should you not be with. . He trailed off not wanting to say it in fear that she would leave.

Legolas? I am meeting him tomorrow for lunch and then most likely archery practice. Then maybe dinner. He is here for a few more weeks. She looked up to him with a small smile. I. . well I needed to make sure that you were . . that you did not think I was making a mistake. Her expression grew serious as she watched him. Do you think I am making a mistake? 

I. . I think that what you feel is more important. He looked to her meeting her eyes. I do not wish for you to hurt anymore. 

Thanks to your help I do not. She reached over and took his hand. You, Rúmil, Orophin, Suvel, Galadriel, Celeborn, the list would include most of Lórien should I continue. He smiled at her. Legolas can help me in a way that none of you could though. I feel that I am ready, I feel that. . that I need to know this to be complete. To . . take back what is mine. I want a positive memory of intimacy, one that I helped to create. 

Then you are ready to do such. I only wish I had more time with you. 

I am not leaving. She moved up and hugged him, which he gladly returned. I am still your daughter. You are still my father. That will never change. You have given me so much I will always treasure. So much I would never have had without you. 

Such wisdom from one so young. She pulled back and gave him a cheeky grin.

Do not worry, in a few years you will catch up with me. 

I did not give you your mouth. She chuckled and he smiled.

I blame Orophin and Rúmil for that. 

As do I. He sighed and pushed some of her hair behind her ear. You have grown so much. 

I have, though I did not think you had noticed. 

I tried my best not to. She smiled at him and he returned it. 

Well even the oldest of us must sleep. She stood and leaned over kissing his cheek. Good night ada. Do not stay up too late looking at ugly drawings. 

They are not ugly. She laughed again and went into her room. They are not ugly. This time he said it more to himself as his eyes traced the lines of the drawing once more. He looked back up when she came back in and put a small book in his lap.

These will go well with your collection. 

Your sketchbook? 

It is full. These are slightly better, at least many of the forms can be named without a guess. He opened it and then looked up to her. And a few of the portraits are close enough to be recognizable if you squint. He chuckled. I love you and you are the best ada that any child could want. I am lucky to call you mine. 

I am lucky to call you daughter my sweet. She smiled at him before hugging him again.

Say that name in front of Legolas and I will have to do something horrid to you as retribution. He only smiled and held her a little closer. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye Legolas. I will miss you. 

And I you lirimier. The months have passed too fast. She smiled and then hugged him. 

I have . . I wish to give you something. 

And what would you give one that has everything? She rolled her eyes and he chuckled as she held a cloth bundle. You should not have. Red is not even my color. 

Do not be an ass Legolas. 

That is a royal ass. . that did not work as I had planned. He unwrapped the cloth and smiled. Vambraces. 

Yes, a real leather worker made them but I etched the design on them. I thought you would like them. 

They are almost as beautiful as you are. She laughed and shook her head. He smiled but touched her cheek. They are beautiful, thank you. He leaned forward and replaced his fingers with his lips. 

You are welcome. He pulled back with a chuckle. 

I am glad you got me something so you do not feel awkward when I present you with this. She looked down at what he had pressed in her hand and her eyes widened slightly when she realized what it was.

I can not take. 

You are not taking anything. You are accepting a gift. 

This is your Warrior Knife. You received this when you were accepted into the guards. It can not be replaced. 

No, it can not. The knife you hold is one of a kind Zinnia. When showed to any Mirkwood guard it would be recognized instantly. The one who holds that knife will be recognized as my friend, as one I have given leave to enter Mirkwood's boarders at their will. Besides, a warrior such as yourself should be trained in the use of a small knife coupled with your sword. Your father has agreed. She smiled then laughed hugging him again. 

Thank you for everything. 

Thank me for nothing Zia. They pulled back and he kissed her gently on the lips. Except the knife. It is irreplaceable. 

You are shameless Legolas. She laughed and took his arm in a warrior's embrace. You better write or I will be showing up in your woods sooner than you would hope. 

It is only a threat if one fears the consequences. Though I will write you even if it postpones your visit. He smiled at her. 

I will not lie to you Legolas. I may never see your kingdom. 

We shall see, but I have a feeling this knife will be returned to me. 

Then I hope your feeling is true. 

~~~~~~~~

I told you we had nothing to worry over. Rúmil looked to Orophin with a poignant stare. 

I believe that you were the one who was worried brother. Orophin just grinned and looked back to where he saw Zinnia and Legolas walking to Legolas' horse. Let us hope she did not ask to bond to this one. 

Let us. They both turned and saw Haldir standing there. 

I'm sure she did not. She was young then, she is not so young now. Rúmil smiled at the expression on his brother's face. 

Yes. His eyes traveled to his daughter and the prince that he would be escorting out of his own woods. She is not so young. The soft expression on his face turned back to the arrogant mask. She is still young enough to require watching while I am gone. 

Yes Haldir. Both Orophin and Rúmil spoke at the same time then laughed. 

Do not worry Haldir, as always she will be well taken care of during your absence. Orophin grinned and Haldir only sighed and walked over to Zinnia and the Prince. 

Prince Legolas. Legolas looked over to him and smiled. We must depart soon to stay on schedule. 

Yes Haldir of course, I will ready my group. Legolas handed the reigns of his horse to Zinnia and walked off. 

A new piece of weaponry my . . she looked at him raising an eyebrow and he smiled, daughter? He had been torturing her with that since she had warned him off it. 

Legolas gave it to me. It will offer passage through Mirkwood. 

It will at that my sweet. 

Ada! He chuckled.

He is not within hearing range. Be good for your uncles while I am gone. 

Of course. Be careful and come back to me safe. 

Yes daughter. She hugged him and he smiled. I will see you in a week. 

I will be waiting for your return. 

My people are ready. Legolas put his hand over his heart and bowed. We are now under your command march warden. Haldir returned the symbolic gesture with a smile. The vambraces did not escape his notice. He had seen Zinnia sketch that design on paper and knew they had to be from her.

Thank you Prince Legolas. We will leave as soon as your people are mounted. Legolas nodded and took the reigns from Zinnia. 

I will leave you to your goodbyes. 

Our goodbyes are over. Haldir smiled. I will have the gates opened. A few minutes more are left to tarry. He walked away and Zinnia looked to Legolas. 

Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet melonamin. He smiled at her words and put his hand on her cheek. 

My world will be a little darker without your light. The horn sounded and the gates started to open. She leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek and he turned his head kissing her on the lips. Until next we meet Lirimier.

Until then Legolas. They moved apart and he jumped on his horse grinning down to Zinnia. 

I am disappointed you would not ask to bond. Do I not rank as high as Erestor? She flushed red and he laughed.

Where did you hear that? 

I have my sources. He grinned. Await my letter. 

Oh yes, my world shall stop until I hear from you. 

Then my work here is done. She laughed and slapped his thigh lightly. 

Safe journey. 

How can it not be now that I am even more protected? He smiled mischievously. It was Orophin. He whispered before moving off. She got a surprised look on her face before smiling and backing off the path of the ones leaving. Legolas kicked his horse into a faster trot and joined Haldir at the front before dismounting and walking next to him. 

Do you need consoling? She looked over to Orophin and smirked. 

No uncle, though you may after I get you back for telling Legolas that I asked Erestor to bond to me. Her eyes went back to the caravan leaving the city. 

He told you that did he? 

Yes. 

I do not suppose an apology would suffice. 

Nay. 

A cake? 

Nay. 

A new bow. There was a moment's hesitation. And lessons with your knife. Her head tilted but she still did not answer. 

Plus the cake. 

Deal. Agreed Orophin immediately. 

Apology accepted uncle. Rúmil chuckled. 

Speaking of Erestor the mail came earlier today. A letter for you. The gates closed and she looked to Rúmil taking the envelope with her name in neat lettering. I am off. I will prepare dinner tonight. 

I will help you. Rúmil sighed. 

If you insist Orophin. Rúmil kissed Zinnia on the head. Dinner is at my telain tonight. 

Yes uncle. Rúmil smiled at her distracted tone as she opened the letter. 

Come Rúmil let us start arguing over tonight's meal. Orophin patted Zinnia's shoulder before leaving with Rúmil. 

'Erestor, no matter how good your Summer Solstice was mine was far better.' She smiled as she opened the letter and started reading. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Lirimier = Lovely one

Melonamin = My friend

Aier = Little one

A/N: What the hell are vambraces you may ask? Good question, I had to look it up myself! The official definition is 'armor used to protect he forearm' so says dictionary. com. Still need visualization go here. . www. geocities. com/ maeluiril/ legsarmor .html. (take the spaces out) And yes it is my intention that the ones he wears in during the Lord of the Rings are the ones she gave him.

Thank you so much for the reviews!! Just so you know it might take a little while for the next couple of chapters. I'm working on them as hard as I can.

I hope you also understood why I did not write exactly what happened between Zinnia and Legolas. My thoughts are that no matter how I wrote it, the scene itself, just the content of it would ruin the tone of this story. I am playing with the notion of writing some stand alones that would be part of this little universe I created. Filling in some of the gaps, and maybe some of the scenes that were more implied or just left out. I had this one plot bunny of her getting sick when she was younger that I'm messing with. We'll just have to see what my muse tells me to do. ;-)


	22. Imladris

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Shameless plug: I wrote another story that goes along with this called Ailment. You can find it by going to my profile page and then my stories. 

A/N: Everyone reading this chapter should give a big thank you to Mellon1. Without her I don't know how long this would have taken to get out. Thank you so much! You are a wonderful beta. Even if you think I have issues. ;-)

Chapter 20: Imladris

So how do you like the open road so far? Zinnia looked at Haldir's questioning face and frowned. He knew full well that she was sore from the horseback riding. She had never done so much in her entire life.

"My ass is sore." He chuckled knowing she had answered in common so the others they traveled with would not understand her. "Other than that, I am enjoying it." 

We are almost there. A few more hours. 

The joy will end. I am saddened. 

You wished to travel, I must say that most of the road is just saddle sores. She looked over to Haldir, giving him a glare that had no problems putting others in their place. Haldir only smiled and looked back toward the road.

The sun was high in the sky by the time they neared the boarders of Imladris. Zinnia was only mildly surprised when the guards stopped them. She had not seen or heard them but had been expecting them for a while. Unlike her party they were dressed in deep browns and reds. Colors that would hide them easily in the area they patrolled. They were welcomed and then led the rest of the way into the city. 

Astonishment was the only word that Zinnia could use to express her feelings at first seeing Rivendell. The sight of the main house made her smile. It was everything that Erestor had ever told her. The waterfalls were also magnificent to her. The only rushing water she had seen before was the fast water currents of the celebrant. Large waterfalls were new to her. She found the sound they made oddly pleasing to her ears. Her eyes went to Haldir who was smiling watching her. 

Breathtaking is it not? She could only nod. It is much different from home. before she could respond they entered the courtyard and she smiled seeing Erestor as well as the twins and Arwen. A few others had gathered that she did not recognize. She assumed the tall dark elf with the circlet was Elrond. Another blonde haired elf stood behind him as well. Her guess was that it was Glorfindel, but she could not be sure. She followed her father's lead as he dismounted from the horse. 

Greetings Lord Elrond. He bowed slightly. 

March Warden Haldir. It is good to see you in Imladris once again. Elrond's gaze turned to Zinnia and she looked back unashamedly. He smiled then. Haldir motioned her forward and she walked up to stand at his side. 

May I introduce my daughter. Zinnia. She bowed.

Lord Elrond, it is a pleasure to finally see your land. He smiled and nodded as she straightened. 

Your journey must have been long. Especially for those not accustomed to such travel. Zinnia blushed slightly but shifted her weight to relieve the aches for a few moments. Please rest and relax tonight. There is much time for formalities tomorrow. With that he turned and left the blonde elf following him. 

The little warrior has grown! She looked over to one of the twins who walked forward with a large smile. 

It seems you have not. He laughed then but hugged her which she returned. 

Not at all. He moved back and looked to her. A warrior grown, I shall endeavor not to upset you this time. My heart could not take another of your mocking drawings. She blushed then and the others laughed. 

Both of you deserved that. 

We did, neither Elrohir or I will ever say anything different. Elladan walked over and hugged her as well. So you have forgiven us. 

I have, it was long ago. As your brother so deftly pointed out I have grown. Haldir cleared his throat and they looked to him.

If you do not mind, the horses need to be stabled before I or my party can rest. 

Of course, I shall lead you. Elladan smiled at Haldir then took the reins of Zinnia's horse. And leave you with time to catch up with others. Zinnia smiled and looked back to Haldir.

I shall see you later. He smiled and walked off following the twins, the others in their small group following their captain. 

I see you still dislike dresses. She laughed and hugged Arwen. 

More with each passing year. Arwen laughed and pulled back then. 

Then you will be happy to know that you will only have to wear one once during your stay at the feast tomorrow night. 

I did not bring one. 

I had one made for you. Zinnia looked to Erestor. Though you will not like it, it is a gift. Zinnia laughed and moved over hugging him.

I will like it well enough if it comes from you. Even if I have to wear it. He laughed and pulled back so they could look at each other. 

You have grown. She smiled at him.

I hope you took that into account when you had the dress made. He chuckled then and hugged her again. 

I knew I was forgetting something. 

I shall go make sure that your dinner will be delivered to your room tonight. 

Thank you Arwen. She smiled and nodded at Zinnia before leaving. So, what has happened since your last letter? Erestor laughed and took her hand placing it on his arm. 

I shall tell you as we walk. He led her towards her room. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hold still ada. He laughed and relaxed. 

This is a change. Normally I am telling you to hold still. She smiled but continued to braid his hair. 

True. You may do so tomorrow. He smiled and shook his head. Ada. Her tone was a warning and she put his head back into position. 

Do I have the honor of escorting you to the feast tonight or will Erestor be here shortly. This time she laughed. 

Erestor is escorting me tonight. 

Will I be at a bonding any time soon? 

Ada. Her tone was enough to betray her embarrassment. Arwen is still available if you wish to witness a bonding. He smiled and she tied off his braid. There as handsome as ever. Perhaps if you ask nicely she will accept. As he stood, he turned around and smiled at her. 

Perhaps. She grinned at him. You look lovely tonight. 

You do as well. She brushed some non-existent dirt off his shoulder. Red is most suited on you, though perhaps a brighter shade would look even better. There was a knock at the door.

Go, I shall meet you there. She smiled and walked to the door. 

Ada. He looked to her. I forgot to tell you that I told Arwen you would escort her. She is expecting you shortly. She grinned widely at his expression. I would not mind a mother. She laughed and closed the door leaving him alone in the bedroom before he could react. 

~~~~~~~~ 

You look lovely. Zinnia smiled at Erestor. 

The dress is lovely. Thank you. He smiled at her and nodded. 

I had hoped you would like it. 

Ada was wondering if I was going to ask you to bond to me again. Erestor laughed. 

And are you? 

You were right all those years ago. I know more now, I am finally old enough. You are a great friend Erestor, and I do love you as such. 

Then what more do I have to ask for? She grinned at him as they walked into the dinning hall. He led her over to the table and helped her to sit, pushing in her chair then sat next to her. 

The dinner passed pleasantly for Zinnia. Mostly she was in conversation with the twins, Arwen or Erestor. Though occasionally she would speak with Glorfindel. He had been the blonde elf that had been next to Elrond when she had arrived. He was actually quite funny. 

Once dinner was over she went with the twins and Arwen for a walk while Haldir and the others talked some more. She had wanted to go back and change but the twins wouldn't let her. Insisting that if this was the only time they would get to see her in a dress she wouldn't be allowed to cheat them out of any of their time. She had blushed scarlet at that and they had laughed making fun of her. Arwen had come to her aid yelling at her brothers and leading Zinnia up ahead of them. 

They talked pleasantly as they walked through the various paths and gardens found in Rivendell. Zinnia had stared wondrously at the waterfalls. The others had smiled at her expression before starting to head back towards the house. As they made their way up the path, horse hooves could be heard and all looked back. A dark figure approached them, the horse in a slow trot. It slowed down to a walk then stopped in front of the four. 

Megilindir! the name was said with much affection from Elrohir as he walked over to where the rider dismounted. You return early. The figure laughed a hearty rich sound. 

Yes, there were not enough orcs to keep me as busy as normal. He dismounted and Zinnia pointed him out as human as soon as his fit the ground with a loud thud. No elf would ever be that noisy coming off their horse. 

I hope you are here to stay for a while. This time Elladan spoke. 

Yes. The figure pulled back his hood grinning at the twins. I could use a rest from the wilds.

'Defiantly human' Zinnia's suspicion was confirmed when she saw his round ears. She judged his clothing and his ragged appearance that he was a ranger. The fact that he knew the twins so well only and his answer to Elladan's question only helped to support that assumption. 

You remember our sister Arwen. They turned toward Zinnia and Arwen at Elrohir's words.

Of course, my lady. he bowed slightly and Arwen nodded with a smile. 

And this is Zinnia, daughter of Haldir March warden of Lórien. They are visiting as well. 

Ah Haldir, yes I met him once, delivering a message to your realm. He smiled and bowed. Good evening my lady. I am known as Megilindir to the elves. She raised her eyebrow slightly. 

Bladesinger, does the name fit you? She could tell he was taken back slightly by her question but Arwen laughed and put her arm through Zinnia's. 

A nickname my brothers gave him when he was but a child. 

Yes, when he was but three he almost bested Elrohir with his toy sword. Elladan laughed.

That is a lie! Elrohir sighed then shook his head. Megilindir has since grown to his name though, now he can best Elladan with but a single moment. 

Brother, you know she believes me over you. 

I doubt she believes either one of you. Zinnia smiled at the ranger nodding in agreement with his words. 

Enough talk here! Let us stable your horse then you can tell us of your adventures over a good bottle of wine. Elladan slapped Megilindir on his back lightly. 

Good eve ladies. The ranger bowed again and so did the twins with smirks on their faces. Zinnia was about to take a step forward and voice her slight outrage at being ignored from a good story of the road and wine when Arwen tightened her grip. 

Zinnia. Zinnia looked to Arwen's smiling face. You are in a dress, at least change before you track them down to yell. 

Dress or not why are we excluded from that? Arwen chuckled and started walking back towards the house, effectively dragging Zinnia with her. 

They are good friends, leave them their time. You will have enough time later to ask all of the questions of the ranger that are brimming in your mind. Zinnia sighed and started keeping pace with Arwen instead of having to be dragged.

I suppose you are right. She sighed. Another reason to hate dresses. Arwen laughed again as they continued walking.

~~~~~~

A few days later Zinnia was once again walking the paths of Imladris, only this time she was alone. The twins, Erestor, Arwen, and even her own father were involved in meetings that she did not wish to attend or had not been invited to attend. Intending to either find someone to spar against or practice her archery she headed to the practice range that had been pointed out to her in one of her earlier tours of the grounds. 

She wasn't surprised when she saw the ranger there. He was fighting with another elf, one of the sentinels. Not wanting to interrupt but wanting to watch she walked over to one of the benches and sat. She had never really seen another human, other than before Lórien. He was much different than what she had remembered of her race. 

Most of the men she remembered were shorter with blonde hair. The ranger fighting in front of her was tall with dark hair. Now in the brighter light she noticed more about him. He had gotten a change of clothes and she wondered if he was so familiar with this place that he had storage here. She didn't remember any bags with him when he arrived. 

'That is strange for a ranger. Perhaps he has more ties to this place than it appears.' She tilted her head slightly following his movements. His fighting style led her to believe that he had been trained by elves, but then he would pull a few surprise moves that she had never seen before. 'Rangers travel. I wonder if he has been to Mirkwood.' Her lips curved into a small smile as she remembered she had to write Legolas. Sighing she turned her attention back to the two sparing. 

Megilindir was holding his own well enough but she could tell that he was tiring. Not that she expected he would win against the elf he was sparing with. Though she did not doubt he would be able to hold his own against any other race. Among men she guessed he would be a top swordsman, and from his comment earlier orcs were of no problem. A few moments later the elf had Megilindir on the ground, sword at his throat. The elf laughed and helped the ranger up with a few words that she couldn't hear. She sat straighter when they started to walk her way. 

Good afternoon Lady Zinnia. I trust you now found my name suited enough. She looked to him.

Yes. She gave a small smile. You handled yourself well. 

Have you come to practice archery. He looked to her quiver and bow with a small nod. 

If I could not find one to spar with. Would either of you care to? 

I am afraid that I am required elsewhere shortly. The elf smiled and bowed. Good day Lady Zinnia, Megilindir. Zinnia watched him walk away before turning her attention back to Megilindir, who was drinking from a water skin.

What of you? Do you have time? 

I would not wish to hurt you. Zinnia's eyes narrowed. 

I doubt you would, your skills are of a high enough level. She smirked. I would give you time to rest from your last match. So you are not so tired. He laughed and her anger grew slightly. 

I am not tired enough to stop from sparing. 'With you,' wasn't said but she heard it in his voice. 

Great. She stood and unbuckled her quiver setting it against the bench with her bow. 

Are you sure? Zinnia gritted her teeth at the question but walked out into the practice field. 

Positive. Unless you wish to rest. 

The fight lasted only a matter of moments before Zinnia had him on the ground. She knew that had he not been underestimating her and if he hadn't been so tired already there would have been no chance she would have won. It didn't stop the smirk from growing on her face as she held her sword to his stomach though.

Next time I suggest that you do not assume that one can not handle a sword because of a lack of points on their ears or dangling flesh between their legs. She turned and walked back to the bench as she replaced her sword in her sheath. 

Will you not even give me the chance to redeem myself? She looked back as he stood. I would not make the same mistake twice. Laughing she slung her quiver over her back and turned to him as she fastened it. 

I did not think you would ranger. However I would not make the mistake of matching with you again until you feel that you do not have to redeem something that was never taken. Good day. He chuckled as he watched her leave.

Good day Lady Zinnia. She only raised her hand not stopping to turn to look at him. 

~~~~~~

Ada = Father

Megilindir = BladeSinger 


	23. Upsetting News

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Another angst filled chapter! Sorry, but it will get better as we go along. I promise!

A/N: Megilindir is not Strider. Completely different people, even though he is a ranger! Besides Aragorn is Arwen's.

Chapter 23: Upsetting News

Almost two months had passed since Zinnia and the rest of her party had arrived in Imladris. Most of her time was spent with Elrond's children or Erestor. The library there was almost larger than the one in Lórien. She had never thought such a thing was possible, and took advantage of it as much as she could. 

When she wasn't in the library she was wondering around the grounds, usually with a book in her hands. The twins had teased her about it but she brushed them off easily enough. One thing that didn't change was her training. She would always go down to the practice fields in the morning for either archery or sparing. 

Many times she ended up with the ranger. It seemed he was there in the mornings as well. She hadn't been able to best him since the first time, but she could tell that it was harder for him to beat her than he had thought it would have been. A slow smile spread across her features as she thought of Megilindir. 

Though she would never admit it to anyone she found him attractive. At first she thought it simply the novelty of him being a human. Then as time passed she found it was other things. His eyes, his laugh, his nicely muscled chest. 

'He's damn infuriating!' She shifted in her chair and a slight frown took the place of her earlier smile. 'He's annoying, irritating, and smug. It doesn't matter if he has a nice ass, he is still an orc.' She blushed red then as she remembered Arwen catching her watching said ass as he walked away. The elf had only smiled knowingly and not said a word. 'Get a hold of yourself. You are not a child anymore!' 

Child. Zinnia looked up from her thoughts and into the calm eyes of the Lord of Imladris. She stood and bowed slightly.

Lord Elrond. 

You wish to see me? 

Yes. She tried to stamp back her embarrassment but failed. 

I hope you have not been waiting long for me.

No my Lord, only a few moments. I. . . I have a question for you in regards to well, your roll as healer. 

Ah, then please walk with me. He held out his arm and she put hers through it as they walked down the corridors. 

I must say that your land is beautiful. I would never have thought something could be as lovely as Lórien. He smiled at her.

Yes, the lands are much different but each hold their own form of beauty. She smiled at him nodding in agreement. Though we do not have the trees as your land, it is one thing Celebrían missed the most. 

The stairs I do not miss. Elrond chuckled slightly and led her into a room. She supposed it was a healing room as there was a large bed and rows upon rows of herbs and the like on the self lined walls. 

Please sit. He led her to the chairs next to the bed sitting in the one next to her as she sat in hers. What do you wish to ask? The nervousness fluttered in her again and she started wringing her hands. 

I.. . do you know of my past? 

A little. She paused for a moment. 

Before Lórien I was. . mistreated, badly. She looked up and Elrond who nodded. When I turned 18, I went to Garan for a mixture he made for me. He is our healer. Elrond smiled.

Yes Garan was a student of mine long ago. She smiled slightly. 

It was before my first solstice feast, the mixture he said was one of your recipes. For human conception. Elrond nodded again. He examined me before. . and. . well he told me to give this to you when I came here. I put thoughts of it out of my mind as he did not wish to tell me for certain. She handed him a letter that Garan had written. He did not feel comfortable telling me for sure as I was the first human he had ever worked with. He told me you would be more experienced in these matters. Elrond took the letter and read it over. 

Garan found scar tissue? 

As I said. . mistreated. She looked down then sighed before looking back up. I wish to know if I can have children. 

~~~~~~~~

'Load. Aim. Release. Load. Aim. Release.' These were the only thoughts going through Zinnia's head as she let arrow after arrow fly from her bow. Her showing was horrible as her mind was not really focused on where her arrow was going but what Elrond had told her. She pushed the conversation forcefully out of her head not wanting to hear it again. Not really wanting to remember the answer. Her mind went back to the rhythmic movements of firing her arrows.

"For a March Warden's daughter your aiming is pitiful." Her eyes snapped to the smirking face of Megilindir and pure fury grew in her. "Perhaps you need the practice more than I." 

"What the hell do you know of me! You insignificant little bug! You have no idea! Not a single realization of who I am or what I can or can not do." Megilindir was surprised at the anger he heard in her tone. He had meant it as a jest, as they had been throwing insults at one another. Neither had meant it in true spite. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Why would anything be wrong? No I'm perfectly fine. . just. . just." She growled and threw her bow towards the target with a scream. 

"Zinnia." She smacked his hand away when he touched her.

"Don't ever touch me human! You're all the same! I know it, I know you are." She pushed him causing him to stumble back slightly. He only grew more confused at her reaction as tears started running down her face. "All worthless, filthy, monsters. Lower than any orc! Lower than any other living thing." She went to hit him but he grabbed her hand before she could. The other hand connected to his cheek before he could grab it though. 

"Zinnia." His tone was a cross between anger, concern, and a command. He was thankful she had only slapped him as his cheek throbbed painfully.

"I should be happy I can't bring any more into this world. I should be happy." She sobbed and her knees buckled the only thing holding her up. "Why does it hurt so much?" She screamed again and he dropped to his knees holding her. "He took everything. Everything." She started crying and he held her closer.

"Who Zinnia? Who caused this in you?" 

"He took everything. My mother, my brother, my childhood and now he took my future. He took it! He took everything." She stared sobbing uncontrollably and he shifted so she was more comfortable in his arms. Her own arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer as she continued to cry and scream. He looked up when he saw one of the sentries run into the practice filed.

Go retrieve Elrond! She needs help. The sentry wasted no time leaving at a full sprint. He kept trying to calm her down and comfort her but it seemed her hysteria was only growing. 

~~~~~~

Megilindir sighed as he turned and paced to the other side of the hall. It had been almost an half an hour since he had helped to bring Zinnia who had still been crying and screaming to the healing rooms. He was about to turn again when a hand fisted into the front of his tunic pushing him hard into the wall. Before he could even really react a blade was tight against his throat and he was staring into the blazing eyes of Haldir.

What did you do to her? As a ranger he had faced down many things. Orcs, trolls, goblins, wargs, even a few humans now and then, nothing, absolutely nothing in his entire life scared him as much as the elf that was currently threatening him. 

Nothing Lord Haldir. The knife tightened. 

I do not believe you. The words were a growl and Megilindir swallowed nervously. 

Then ask Lord Elrond. I swear to you I did not harm your daughter. The knife relaxed fractionally but did not move from his throat.

Haldir. Neither Haldir's or Megilindir's eyes strayed from the other as Elladan put his hand on Haldir's shoulder. He would not have hurt her, he is a friend. Haldir's eyes only narrowed. Come, father will allow you in to see her. 

Friend or not, if you hurt her I will hunt you down and hand out what justice I deem fit. 

I understand. Haldir sneered as he moved away from the ranger.

Your understanding is not necessary in this matter. What I stated is a simple fact. It would be of no use to run if you lied to me this day. Both Elladan and Megilindir watched Haldir walk into the room and close the door. Unconsciously Megilindir let out a breath when the march warden was out of sight.

Haldir did not mean it Megilindir. He is just protective of his daughter. Megilindir looked to him.

Elladan, he meant what he said with every fiber of his being. Elladan smiled slightly.

True. Let us go have lunch. Megilindir shook his head slightly.

Nay, I wish to know of her condition. I will stay here. Elladan sighed as he watched the other straighten his tunic before sitting down in one of the chairs across from the door Haldir had entered.

Father gave her a rather strong sleeping mixture. She will most likely not wake for a day or so. 

Then I shall wait. Megilindir looked to Elladan. She was screaming that 'he' took something from her. Do you know who she was speaking of? Elladan moved and sat next to his friend. 

I do, but it is not my story to tell. It is hers, and I do not think you would ever hear it. 

Yet she told you. 

No, no when I first heard her story she was but a child. Ten, perhaps a little older. My brother and I. . we. . well I am surprised Haldir did not have us at the end of his sword for what grief we caused her. It was unintentional but we still caused it in our foolishness. Our grandfather told us to better enable us to understand just what damage we had done. Even that telling was short and lacking details. Not that I would have wished to hear the long version besides. 

It is that horrible then. 

More so. The silence stretched between them as they watched the door.

~~~~~~~

Is she injured? What happened? Will she heal? Elrond looked up from wiping down the sleeping girl's face and into the very worried eyes of her father. He stood and gave a small smile hoping to alleviate some of Haldir's concern. 

She will be fine, right now she is only resting. He held the cloth out. Would you rather this task? Haldir nodded and took the cloth before taking Elrond's place on the bed next to Zinnia. He could tell that she had been crying, her eyes were still puffy and red from tears. 

Zinnia. His soft word was accompanied by a caress down her cheek. 

She will not wake Haldir. I gave her something to help her sleep. Haldir looked back up to Elrond. 

What is wrong? 

I am afraid that, this is partially my fault. Elrond sighed and sat on the chair next to the bed. She came to me earlier asking me to examine her. 

Why? Is she growing sick? Elrond looked at Haldir a moment.

She did not tell you. 

Tell me of what? Elrond pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked to the sleeping girl. 

When she came of age she went to Garan for an elixir that I created that would stop her body from being able to conceive for a period of a few months. I assume that it was for the Solstice feast. Haldir nodded. Garan examined her, something I told him to do in one of our letters. 

Letters? 

Garan has never worked with humans before. We converse occasionally when he has questions. Haldir nodded. He found scar tissue from earlier. . abuse Haldir's eyes widened slightly as he realized what Elrond was saying. He did not feel comfortable informing your daughter of the consequences of that as she is the only human he has ever treated.

So she waited to speak with you of it. 

Yes. Haldir looked back down to Zinnia and caressed her cheek again. I told her earlier that with the amount of damage found, there would only be a small chance that she would ever be able to have children. The more likely situation would be that she would never be able to conceive. Haldir's eyes closed as he continued to lovingly stroke his daughters cheek. 

That is why she is so upset. Haldir opened his eyes and looked to Zinnia's face. She never spoke to me of this. 

I am sorry Haldir. I should have waited until you or another she is comfortable with was here to help her. She seemed calm enough when I told her, it is why I let her go. Haldir sighed and then started to wipe her face again. 

Do not be, she can hide things when she wishes. He looked to Elrond. She is not in any danger though. This affects nothing else. 

No, she is healthy. Nothing is wrong with her. Haldir nodded and turned his attention back to his child. She was hysterical when Megilindir brought her here. It is why I gave her something to make her sleep. She had to calm. 

Thank you Lord Elrond. I am in your debt. Elrond smiled slightly though Haldir didn't see it. 

Nay, you are not March warden. He stood and put his hand on Haldir's shoulder. Do you wish me to send you some lunch. Haldir shook his head slightly.

I am not hungry. He wiped down her other cheek as he spoke. 

Then I shall have dinner sent here later. Elrond paused a moment before speaking again. She will be fine, though perhaps saddened when she wakes. I will check on her again tomorrow. 

Thank you. Elrond nodded taking one last look at the two on the bed before leaving the room. Haldir didn't hear him go, too absorbed in his thoughts and his daughter. 

'Why did you not tell me sweet?' He sighed as he moved back slightly. She had never confided anything of the like to him. The thought of her having children had never really entered his thoughts though. Her having children would most likely mean that she had a husband. A husband who would most likely not come from Lórien, a husband that would take her away from him. 

A feeling of relief swept through him. Relief that his daughter would not leave him, relief that was soon replaced with a deep feeling of shame for being so selfish. He picked up one of her hands and cradled it in his. His eyes closed as he brought it to his lips and kissed it before leaning his cheek against it. 

I am sorry tinu, I am so sorry. A few tears fell down his cheeks when he opened his eyes looking back at her peaceful face. He kissed the back of her hand again before pulling the chair closer to the bed and sitting in it. Leaning forward he held her hand between his and started singing. 

Hours passed as he sat there with her. He would wipe her face occasionally between songs and stories. Dinner was delivered but sat untouched where it had been set. She never moved once as he sat with her. 

A few hours before sunrise he stood and stretched slightly. His mind had not let him rest nor relax. Anger had been steadily growing in him as he had time to think. He wished once more that he had been there to see the human's demise all those years ago. More over he wished he had been the one to end the monster's life.

I shall return shortly my sweet. He leaned over and kissed her forehead intending to go for a short walk and also get her a change of clothes. As he opened the door he was surprised at what he found. Megilindir was still on the chair. His head was tilted back slightly, his eyes closed in sleep, but he was still waiting. The tray of cold untouched food sitting next to him didn't go unnoticed either. Haldir turned to walk towards his intended destination but stilled turning back towards the ranger. 

Megilindir. He shook the humans shoulder gently. The boy's eyes opened almost immediately and Haldir stood straight again taking a step back.

Is she awake? The ranger stood and looked to Haldir.

She will still sleep for hours yet. Perhaps you should go find your own rest. Megilindir tilted his head slightly trying to figure out if that was a warning to go away or just a polite suggestion. 

I would rather wait Lord Haldir. He paused a moment as Haldir regarded him. Is she well? Elrond only told me that she was uninjured. 

Physically she is. . well. Go back to your room Megilindir. If you wish to see her come back after lunch. Should she want to see you, you may then. There was another awkward pause. Thank you for helping her. 

It does not require thanks Lord Haldir. I shall return after lunch. Haldir nodded and watched as the human walked down the hallway. 

~~~~~~~~

Ada = father

Megilindir = Bladesinger

Tinu = daughter

A/N: Unlike other things, such as how an abused child would react, or various other details, I did not research any medical stuff for this chapter. I have no idea what the effects of Zinnia's past would be on her adult body. This is simply something that I wished to address plot wise. 

Also a big, big thank you to all of my readers and reviewers! I am sorry that it took so long to start updating again but I was stuck on the last chapter. Now that is over though and everything is rolling along smoothly! Another big thanks to my wonderful beta, Mellon1. 


	24. Intervention

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse.

Chapter 24: Intervention

She does not wish to see you. Megilindir frowned as he took in the elf in front of him. If anything he swore that the March warden was worn out. His appearance was as impeccable as ever but there was tiredness in his eyes, a sadness that was taking much out of him. 

It has been two weeks. Haldir sighed.

I know, she still does not wish to see you.

Or anyone it would seem. Megilindir watched as Haldir ran his hand down his face. Has she even moved from the bed? 

No, she will not eat but small amounts, she will not move, she will not speak with any, if she were an elf I would say she is fading. 

What does Elrond say? 

It is nothing physical. She is saddened. . by. news she received. I do not know how to help her. 

May I try? Haldir raised an eyebrow at the mortal. Just a few moments alone with her. 

I do not. 

I will not hurt her. I only wish to help. 

Very well, I will give you a short time with her. Megilindir nodded and walked into the room past Haldir. 

~~~~~~~

Zinnia didn't react as she heard the door open then close again. It just wasn't important anymore. Nothing was important. Her gaze stayed fixed on a point in the distance outside of the window. Tears were slowly but steadily rolling down her cheeks but she didn't notice them. 

Lady Zinnia. She blinked at the unexpected voice, but otherwise didn't react. Zinnia it is time to get out of bed now. The bed dipped as another sat on it. Zinnia you have lazed about enough. 

Go away. She curled around the pillow in her arms tighter and closed her eyes. The sound of a sigh reached her ears then the bed moved again. Slowly she relaxed wanting to go back to sleep. To return to the peacefulness she felt there. Just as she was about to drift off the blankets were pulled off her. 

Get up. She ignored the voice and simply pressed her face into the pillow. One way or another you will be getting out of this bed. 

Leave me be. As soon as she finished speaking she was lifted from the bed. Put me down! 

In a moment. 

Now! 

As you wish. She screamed at the top of her lungs when she was dropped into the cold water he had filled the tub with. 

"You irritating beast"

"Irritating beast I may be but at least you are out of the bed. You need a bath besides." This time he was able to catch both of her hands before she slapped him. "Once is enough thank you." 

"Let me go!" Megilindir let go of her hands slowly ready should she try to slap him again. He wasn't prepared when she splashed him practically drenching him as well. "Why do you care?" 

"I care because I can." She shivered and looked down then frowned seeing how transparent her night gown was wet. 

"What do I have to survive or fight for any longer?" She pulled her knees to her chest to cover herself. 

"Your friends, your family, yourself." He reached over and tilted her head so she was looking to him. "I do not know of your past, but I know you are a survivor. You are a fighter and acting like this does not suit you. You are scaring everyone who loves and cares about you." Zinnia pulled her face away from his hands and put her cheek against her knees.

"I do not wish to, it is. . just so hard to keep fighting. It is so much easier to sleep." 

"It is at that." She looked up to him and he smiled slightly. "Though I have a feeling that you have never been one to take the easy path." 

"No, I have not." 

"Then do not start now, do not let whatever monster that haunts your steps win by giving up." He stood and looked down to her. "It is your decision, but know that it will effect more than yourself." She sighed and turned her head away from him. "I hope to see you at dinner tonight." 

"And if I am not there." He paused as he was about to walk out the door. 

"You are light enough for me to carry." Zinnia heard him shut the door as he left and sighed. She shivered again and stood stepping out of the cold water. 

'I could use a bath.' She thought as she started draining the cold water and adding warmer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir glanced to Zinnia as they strolled down the garden path. He had been surprised when Megilindir had left the room, his hair soaking wet. Even more surprised when he entered the room to find the bed empty and Zinnia in the bath. He didn't question it though, to happy to have his daughter once again responding to the world to care. She had even agreed to go to the dinner in the main hall, eating everything on her plate. 

I am sorry ada. She looked up to him. 

For what my sweet? She gave a small smile but broke away from him and sat on a bench. 

For being selfish enough to do what I did. To scare you like I did. He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her when she leaned into him. 

You are not selfish. Though, I wish you would have told me of this. 

I did not wish to bother you. 

You never bother me. She looked up to him with a smile.

Never? He smiled then, pulling her a little closer. 

Once or twice, but it would not have been a bother to tell me of this. Your concerns are mine, you are my daughter. She sighed and wrapped her arms around him. Have I led you to believe that I would not want to know anything that holds this much importance for you? 

No, you are always there for me. Even some of the more inopportune times, but you are still there. He smiled and put his hand against her hair and kissing her forehead. 

As I will always be when you need me. 

I know. . I. . just wished so hard for this not to be. For Garan to be wrong, I did not prepare for any other answer. There was silence for a few moments.

I did not know you were thinking of children. She laughed and sat up looking to him. 

I do not wish for one now, though I had thought. . She trailed off and sighed. I had thought maybe when I was older. She moved forward resting her elbows on her legs and her head in her hands. Now that is gone. He put his hand on her back and she moved to rest against him again. 

It is not gone, perhaps the Valar have decided that you will not have a child of your body, but that does not mean you will never know the joy of a child in your life. I never once imagined being a father. An uncle to one of Rúmil's, yes, but not caring for one of my own. He moved and tilted her head up. I could love you no more even if you were of my body. You are of my heart, you are my daughter. She smiled as a few tears fell from her eyes. 

And you are my father. She wrapped her arms around him again and put her ear over his heart. Why did you decide to raise me? There was no answer for a moment and she pulled back looking at him. When you first found me I could not have appealed to you immediately. My race, my appearance, my manor. He smiled though there was a touch of sadness in it. 

You were filthy, and skittish, but you were just a child. The first time you wrapped your arms around me and trusted me to comfort you, to hold you and chase away your sadness and fear, it was the last time I knew I could let you go. I have always been one to hold others away. 

I would never have guessed. He smiled at her comment as she smiled at him.

It took you to show me that was wrong. How you were ever able to affect me as you did, I will never be able to fully understand. I only know that my life would be darker and poorer had I denied what I felt. Had I let another care for you and carried on how I had been. The joy you bring me is never ending, though it is sometimes tempered with a test of patience. She laughed and put her head back against him. 

Like when I decided that your hair was too long. 

Yes. 

Or when I baked you a pie of mud. 

A warning would have been nice. 

Or when I decided to paint your bow. 

It did look better blue. He laughed and hugged her. There are many more examples of things I would never have been able to experience had you not stayed with me. Things I would never know how much I would have missed. 

And I believe I was able to do many things I would have never thought of had I not been with you. She sighed happily and closed her eyes focusing on his strong heartbeat. A sound she had always cherished through the years. I love you ada. 

As I love you tinuamin. 

~~~~~~~~~

Where are you two heading in such a rush? Megilindir smiled as the twins practically ran by him. 

We are. . going to the stable. Elladan nodded at his brother's answer. 

The stable is the opposite way. 

What my brother meant to say was we are going to the archery range. Megilindir only raised an eyebrow at the twin's behavior. 

Yes and we must not tarry. Elrohir pushed his brother so they could continue on their way.

Should you not wish to take your bows and quivers? The lack of them makes the archery range very dull. 

We were going for a stroll. What is it with nosey humans? 

Elrohir! Elladan! I can see you, I may have human eyesight but I can see you! All three turned to see a very angry Zinnia glaring at them as she stomped towards them. Of course the effect was ruined by the fact that she was wearing a dress and lacking any weapons of any sort. The twins turned to run. Do not even think about it. Both sighed and turned to the girl. The only thing I hate worse than wearing a dress is wearing a dress as I track down elves. 

Lady Zinnia how is your day? Her glare moved to Megilindir at his words and he quickly quieted. 

Where are my clothes? The questions was nothing but a thinly veiled threat to the twins. 

Did you not check your closet? She growled at Elladan.

I did though all I found were dresses. It seems unless my leggings and tunics walked off by them selves to make room for the dresses, another had to help them. Or perhaps two others. Both twins smiled. 

Ah, now lady Zinnia you look very lovely in a dress. This time Elrohir received the glare.

I will say this slowly so that the both of you have a chance to comprehend my words. I. Want. My. Clothes. Returned. She shifted her gaze from each of the twins with each word.

You wound me by thinking that I or my brother would have had anything to do with a trick so cruel. 

Elladan, you and your brother are the only elves I know that are foolhardy enough to do such a thing. Both of the twins grinned with pride. I know where your rooms are as well. Do not doubt my word that I will retaliate in kind with the both of you. 

Another drawing? 

Something much worse. Despite herself she chuckled slightly at the hopefulness that had been in Elrohir's tone. I am going to the library to meet Erestor. Most likely I will then go to lunch. If my leggings and tunics are not returned to me before dinner, even I shudder to think what should happen to the two of you. 

Then we shall make all efforts to find the culprit, or culprits as you suspect, and have them return your clothes. I swear to you my lady. Elladan bowed deeply and Elrohir rolled his eyes. 

They are right on one thing, you do look lovely. Zinnia looked to Megilindir surprised as a small blush crept up her neck. Allow me to escort you to the library. 

I would be delighted. She took his arm and they started to walk towards the library.

I will be delighted as well should you refrain from trying to slap me this time. She smiled and looked to him.

Endeavor not to anger me. Megilindir laughed and her smile grew. 

I shall try my best. The twins watched them walk away identical expressions of surprise on their face. 

Did you see?

I did. Do you think?

I do. Should we?

Aye, we should. 

~~~~~~~~~

Megilindir = bladesinger

Ada = father

Tinuamin = my daughter

A/N: I have the next chapters outlined now it is just a matter of writing them. I'm still working on it so don't worry! Also, it was my birthday yesterday! I may be hung over but I have a smoothie machine now! My Haldir muse really likes the strawberry banana one.


	25. Matchmakers

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 25 – Matchmakers

Are you sure I do not look. . strange? Arwen smiled and finished the small braid she had been working into Zinnia's hair. She had been surprised when the girl had sought her out a few hours before dinner. Shock could only be the word used to describe how she felt after Zinnia had asked her to help her ready. 

You look lovely Zinnia. Arwen could tell that her friend was still a little hesitant though. 

I never wore lip shine before. Zinnia pressed her lips together looking intently in the mirror. Nor any of this other coloring. 

Then I thank you for trusting me to help you with this. Arwen turned and sat on the bed as Zinnia kept regarding herself as though she was a complete stranger. Will you tell me why you have suddenly decided to change your normal style of dress. Zinnia froze before looking to Arwen in the mirror. You do not have to. 

No. . I. Zinnia cleared her throat and shifted so she was facing Arwen. I received a flower today. 

A flower? Zinnia nodded slightly. A red rose, the thorns had been removed. . and. . well there was a note. 

What did it say? Arwen's interest only heightened as Zinnia turned a shade of red. 

It. . well it . . it said that my beauty was beyond the stars and sea, then something about the dress I wore the other day. Zinnia's face only turned redder as she spoke, Arwen's grin only grew. 

So you thought to wear another? Zinnia looked up to her then away with a sigh.

Yes, it must sound stupid to you. 

Why would it sound stupid? Zinnia shrugged and looked back in the mirror. Zinnia, you maybe a warrior but you are also female. Zinnia looked back over to Arwen who was smiling softly. It is a nice affirmation of that fact when you receive tokens that only speak of truth. Is it not? 

It. . it feels nice. Agreed Zinnia. Though I do not know, if I should do this. She picked at one of the layers on the dress. 

Why should you not? You look beautiful, feel beautiful, it is what you are. Zinnia gave a small smile and looked up to Arwen.

Will you sit with me? I can only guess at the others reactions but I know your brothers will tease me beyond all hope. 

Let me take care of them. I'll make sure they sit at the furthest side of the table. They will not bother you at all. At least tonight. Arwen smiled and stood. Come let us go to dinner. Zinnia nodded and stood as well. 

Are you sure it is not too much? 

It is perfect. Do not worry for how you look. Worry for how you are going to figure out who sent the flower. Zinnia grinned as Arwen took her arm and led her out of the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

What has your heads close together in such conspiratorial whisperings? The twins looked over to Glorfindel. 

Nothing. The blonde haired warrior only raised an eyebrow at the chorused answer. 

Yes, the picture of pure innocence sits before me. They grinned. 

We are not planning anything that would interfere with your life. Glorfindel chuckled and took a sip of his wine.

Ah, but now my curiosity is peaked. What has your mischievous little hearts all atwitter? 

We should not tell him brother. 

He could be useful. 

Should he agree to help us. They looked back to Glorfindel who only smirked and took another sip of his wine. He had known the twins since they were born, they would tell him. 

We wish to help. . two of our friends. Glorfindel laughed and leaned forward putting his glass down. 

Somehow I think that your definition of help is more along the lines of everyone else's definition of interfere. 

Not interfere only nudge what nature seems to be doing. Elladan nodded emphatically.

Nature? Glorfindel raised an eyebrow once more. 

Megilindir and Zinnia. Glorfindel's other eyebrow raised and he looked down the table to where the subjects of the discussion were sitting together talking of something.

They are friends. Besides, they will handle themselves if they wish to be anymore than that. 

Friends. Elrohir scoffed. 

She is wearing a dress. Pointed out Elladan.

Yes, maidens do that occasionally I am told. 

Most, but not Haldir's daughter. You should have seen how livid she was when we stole her clothes and replaced them with dresses. Actually one she is wearing right now. Elladan looked back to Zinnia.

I must say we have good taste. I think that dark blue suits her best. The twins looked to each other and nodded. Glorfindel cleared his throat and they looked to him.

Stole her clothes? 

You are missing the point of this discussion entirely. 

Then please refresh my aged memory. Glorfindel's tone was nothing if not sarcastic. 

We are trying to figure out ways to get Megilindir and Zinnia alone together. 

Without weapons. Stressed Elrohir.

A worthy challenge, said Glorfindel drolly. 

Yes. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Even if he was interested, Elladan, I am not interested in one who must work through friends to ask such silly questions. 

He was just curious of you; he wanted to know about you. I told him I had met you when you were but a child. 

Oh? And what exactly did you tell him. He heard the accusation in her voice.

Only that you were inquisitive and adorable when you were shorter. Zinnia rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her book. 

Is there a specific reason why I am being tortured with your presence or are the Valar just with me in that respect? 

I do feel the touch of the Valar today. Elladan grinned and reached to take her book from her. Even if you feel you are tortured. He shut the book and pulled it back from her grabbing hand. Come with me for a walk and then lunch. The day is too nice to sit in the library and read. 

Will you give me back my book if I say no?

Chances are not good. He smiled and she grinned at him.

Very well. 

That was much easier than I thought it would be. She chuckled and took his offered hand.

~~~~~~~~~~

She did not say that. 

She did Megilindir. She asked of you. To know if you had a wife or betrothed. Megilindir smiled and shook his head. 

A shy little maiden from a village would ask a friend and beg for gossip. Zinnia would ask me directly. She would not use others to find out something so simple. 

She was embarrassed. 

That. . . I do not believe either. Elrohir managed to keep the smile off of his face. Megilindir's tone was enough to suggest that he was thinking of it. 

Then you are not interested in such news? 

I would not. . . say that. However, I do not need you or your brother meddling in this. 

Meddling? Elrohir took an offended tone. I never meddle in anything. 

Then it must all be your brother. 

Most defiantly. He laughed and took the brush from Megilindir's hands. You can groom you horse later, come join us for lunch. 

Us? 

As far as I know it will only be myself, my brother and you. 'Unless Elladan does his job and manages to persuade Zinnia out of the library.' Megilindir sighed and looked to the elf not really trusting his word but hungry just the same. 

Very well. He would never admit it but he was looking forward to seeing Zinnia besides.

~~~~~~~~

You did not mention that there would be more than us for lunch. Elladan looked to Zinnia and smiled. 

I did not know. 

Somehow I doubt that statement. 

Zinnia what a wonderful surprise. She looked to Elrohir and raised an eyebrow then looked to Megilindir. There was a knowing smirk on his features and she grinned. 

Yes, a surprise. How is your day so far Megilindir? 

It is better now I am sure. 

Thank you Elladan, I would never have found words to answer her. 

You are welcome. Zinnia laughed and shook her head leaving Elladan's side and going to Megilindir. 

You would be less annoying company. She grinned at Megilindir before looking back to the twins. Besides I am hungry. Where is the food I was promised for being in your company? 

~~~~~

This is not going as we planned. Elrohir sighed and looked over to where Zinnia laughed as she flipped Megilindir on the ground. He landed with a loud grunt. 

I told you it would be easy enough. Megilindir stood and wiped himself off as he smiled at Zinnia's words. 

Let us try that again. 

If you wish. Elladan sighed as they started fighting again and looked back to his brother.

They are spending time together. 

But he is not romancing her. There was another grunt and they looked over to see Zinnia on the ground this time. 

That does not count. Zinnia's tone was joking.

Oh? Megilindir laughed. And why is that? He helped her up.

It does not count because I said it does not count. She grinned and they circled each other again. 

Perhaps that is his way. Elladan shrugged his shoulders slightly, his motions showing his confusion more than his tone.

Then perhaps, Megilindir threw Zinnia back down again, we should have a talk with him. Elrohir saw his brother nod his agreement as they watched Zinnia trip Megilindir causing him to join her on the hard earth.

~~~~~~~~

Zinnia opened her door and immediately looked down. She was not disappointed as she found another flower and a note attached to it. Over the past week one had been there every morning. She had a thought to stay up one night and catch the person, but not knowing was too exciting for her. A smile formed on her face as she picked up the rose and smelled it before opening the note.

_I enjoy being with you for not only your company, but what I am when you are near. _She blushed as she read the note but smiled at the same time. Slowly she twirled the flower under her nose sniffing it even as she walked back into her room. As she sat on her bed she tried to think of who would be leaving her the flowers. 

It was a mystery that she wanted to solve but also one that she enjoyed. The flower tickled her nose as she waved it around but her mind was too deep into the thoughts of who was leaving the flowers to care. There was a knock at the door and she pulled the flower down setting it behind her.

Come in. She smiled when she saw Arwen. I received another. 

As I can tell by the smile on your face. Zinnia blushed again as she pulled out the flower. And what does this note say? Arwen sat next to her and took the offered flower. A lovely note. Arwen handed Zinnia back the flower with a grin. 

Yes. Zinnia stood pulling the note off the flower. I am still at a loss as to who is giving them to me. If it were not for the notes I would suspect ada. Though with the notes he would not be the culprit. As she spoke she added the flower to the vase holding the others she had received.

Culprit? Arwen had to laugh at the word. You speak as though the one leaving such tokens committed a crime. 

Yes. . well, Zinnia shrugged and ran her fingers over the other flowers, perhaps it is a jest. 

The one leaving you such gifts would not do that. Arwen's tone turned serious as she spoke. You have an admirer, it is not a jest. 

Just the same, I believe I would rather not know if it was or was not. I am enjoying this too much. She sighed as she put the small note into her journal with the others. Are we still going riding today? 

Of course mellonamin. Let us go. 

~~~~~~~

Arwen slammed the doors open to Elladan's room. She had already been to Elrohir's and knew that they would be in there. Both of them jumped as she entered the room and a grin settled on her features because of it. 

Eru! What has you storming through the house like an orc with a whiff of fresh meat? Elrohir had jumped hard enough to knock over chess board on the table.

I want you both to stop. Did you not learn your lesson the first time? Normally I would not care for you to get caught again but I do when it means that one of my friends will be hurt in the process. 

What are you speaking of Arwen? Elladan started picking up the pieces.

I am speaking of Zinnia and Megilindir. Both of the brothers looked away at that. They were unable to hide anything from Arwen. 

We have done nothing obvious. 

Nothing obvious? You try setting them up every day. At dinner you maneuver so they are sitting together, indeed I am surprised that you haven't made up a story so they must share the same room. The twins looked at each other and she slammed her hands down on the table. Haldir would kill him first. Listen to me and take my words to heart. She waited until they were looking at her. 

If you hurt her again no one will be able to stop her father. And no one would wish to. Stop sending her the flowers. Stop trying to put them in situations together. Just because they are mortal does not mean that they do not have time for courting. Let them go at their own pace. 

We are only trying to aid. Arwen cut Elladan off with a sigh and an eye roll.

You are meddling. If their fates are tied to each other you will not aid anything. It will happen when they are ready not when you are. Is he interested in her beyond friendship? 

Well. . we. . 

You do not know! She looked at Elrohir accusingly. You are playing with her heart and you do not even know if he cares for her in that manor? 

We are not playing with her heart! Elrohir looked at Arwen just as angrily. They are both our friends we only wish to help them. 

I know Elrohir. I know. She sat down in one of the chairs her anger fading. Just stop. Let them find their own way. The oldest may only be 32 but neither of them are children. They are adults, neither needs guidance in this matter. Stop forcing them together and stop sending her the flowers. The twins looked at each other and sighed. 

Very well sister. Agreed Elrohir. We will stop. 

Just one thing. Arwen looked to Elladan. What flowers are you speaking of? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So you are the one that has been mangling the rose bushes. 

Sauron's balls! Megilindir jumped about three feet and Erestor smiled. Erestor, how fares your evening. He pulled the now bloody finger to his mouth. The thorns had cut him. 

Much better than yours it appears. Especially since I shall have to tell Elrond you have been butchering his lovely rose bushes.. 

I have permission for the flowers. 

Elrond gave you permission? Erestor raised an eyebrow.

Yes, and he swore he would not tell another. This time Megilindir raised the eyebrow and Erestor pulled his hands up in a placating gesture.

He did not tell me. Megilindir only looked back to the rose he was cutting off the bush. Any particular reason? 

For what Anthaer. Erestor grinned at the use of the endearment. Megilindir had been his student when he was younger. At first the boy had used the name as an insult but soon it settled into an endearment. 

I would not have to be so watchful if you were not so reckless. 

I am never reckless. Argued Megilindir as he carefully started cutting off the thorns. 

No? Erestor moved and sat on the near bench watching his former student. You know the only reason she does not know it is you is because she has not tried to find out. 

Megilindir paused a moment. Of course he should have realized that Erestor would know. Erestor knew everything that went on around him. He did not become one of Elrond's chief advisors simply because he was knowledgeable. The fact that he could be cunning, crafty, and very observant helped. 

How long have you known? 

Since she wore the dress to dinner. Of course I only found out about the flowers the day after that. Megilindir sighed and finished striping the thorns.

Yes I know that is why the one giving her the flowers is still a mystery. She is Galadhrim, and I have spared with her. I know her skill level. There was a silence as Megilindir joined him on the bench and looked down to the flower. Perhaps she does not care to know. Megilindir looked to Erestor sharply when the dark haired advisor let out a bark of laughter.

She wishes to know, she just does not want to find out. 

The wisdom that comes from you is stunning. Erestor only smiled. 

I may have only been with her for a few months, but I have been in contact with her for much of her life now. If I were to guess, and it would be a guess as I have not spoken to her on this matter, I would be inclined to say that she was scared. 

Scared? She does not seem to be one that would frighten easily. 

Fear can take many forms. Erestor looked down to the flower pausing for a moment. You have to understand that she was . . raised in Lórien. With and surrounded by elves. It would be hard for her, all would see her as a child. She has no real peers within her city. No one that she played with as a child that grew with her. No one that was younger than her.

She has that somewhat now for the twins and Arwen are young. They were not with her when she grew. Though they saw her when she was younger they see her now as a grown woman. They treat her as such. All here see her as such. You see her as such. Lórien sees her as a woman, but a child at the same time. 

They treat her as a child? 

No, but all who look on her see a child. Do you understand my meaning? 

They see her as their child. 

Yes. All have watched her grow into the woman you see. They helped raise her to some extent or another. It is how a mortal child would be treated were one to be brought here. Haldir is her father but Lórien is her family. Do you understand? 

I think so. Megilindir sighed. I do not want her to be scared of me. 

She is not scared of you. She is scared that it is not you. Megilindir looked up to him confused. She wore a dress for you. That is a sacrifice for her. 

She wore a dress for the one giving her the flowers. Erestor gave a small smile.

Perhaps. He stood. Though I did not see her looking around the hall. I did not see her trying to find out who would have given her the flowers. I did not see her smile at another as she did at you. 

Maybe I am the one that is scared. Megilindir looked back down to the flower. What if she does not wish it to be me. Erestor sighed.

You are blind Megilindir. I would suggest you show her it is you before she finds out. The twins are investigating this now. It will not be long until their curiosity is satisfied. They already had to be warned off trying to play matchmaker.. Megilindir chuckled slightly.

I shall have to remember to thank Arwen for that. 

Tell her, I for one do not think you will be rebuked. Though I would make sure she is unarmed when you reveal yourself. Megilindir looked up and grinned.

I will take that into consideration. 

She leaves in but a few weeks. Tell her with this one. Megilindir looked up to him. Besides I do not think the garden can take anymore of this game. They smiled at each other before Megilindir looked back down.

I. . will think on it. Erestor nodded and silently left the garden leaving Megilindir looking at the flower.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mellonamin= my friend

Megilindir = bladesinger

Anthaer = watchful one

A/N: I still can't believe all of the wonderful reviews I keep getting. Thank you so much guys! You really know how to make an author swell with pride and joy at her baby!

Also the curse, Sauron's balls, I think it is original. I do read a whole bunch of fiction though and it might have been put into my head by another author. I didn't mean to steal it. I honestly though a few moments before writing it. So if I did take it, the act was completely unintentional. If anyone has any cool middle-earthy curse words they would be willing to share I am all ears. ;-)


	26. Revelations

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 26: Revelations 

Megilindir resisted the urge to either bang his head off the nearest wall until the welcoming arms of darkness took him or bang both Elrohir's and Elladan's until they shut up. Directly after breakfast they had started in on him. It seemed as though now they were focusing on him instead of splitting their attention between him and Zinnia. 

You must be gentler with females, kinder. He rolled his eyes and looked to Elladan. 

I know how to treat a female, I am old enough. I do not need you to tell me this. 

If that is the case then why are treating Zinnia like one of your trainees? his attention turned to Elrohir. 

She does not seem to mind it. 

That is not the reason we are having this discussion. 

Oh, then please remind me as to why we are having this discussion.

Because your attempts at romancing her consist of shoving her to the ground. 

She started it. The twins both looked to him and he threw his hands into the air as he stood. She did! She was the one who wished to spar. I am not going to stay here and listen to this. I need no help from either of you! 

Help for what? All three looked to the doorway to see Glorfindel standing there a smirk on his face. The twins paled slightly seeing Haldir standing next to him though his expression was unreadable. 

They were just trying,

To help him grasp the realities that his archery could improve, said Elladan quick to cut off Megilindir's answer.

What? My archery skills, 

Leave room for improvement. Nodded Elrohir standing. In fact we were on our way there now. Good day. The twins practically dragged a confused Megilindir out of the room. 

They are up to something. Glorfindel looked to Haldir and smiled.

Ah when are they not? I would not worry for it, even though he is younger the ranger tends to calm them down more often then not. Haldir raised an eyebrow at Glorfindel who only laughed in response. Come the maps are in here. 

And these are the most detailed you have? 

Yes. Glorfindel smiled knowing the reason he asked of them was for his daughter. The rangers are actually one of our biggest resources for these. They travel over the land collecting much of the information we have outside our own kingdoms. Haldir only nodded as he went through some of them. 

How long would it take to copy these? 

For all of them 8 months. They would be done by solstice if you wished it. Haldir smiled slightly. It would be no problem to have them delivered to Lórien when they were completed. 

That would be best. I know she will like them. 

Have you told her of your plans yet? 

No, I thought it best to wait until solstice when I gave these to her. I will study these and make a few routes I think she would find acceptable. 

You have asked your Lord and Lady for a leave from duty though? 

Yes, I have been planning this since she was 16 and expressed a desire to travel. A year should be sufficient to visit the places that are allowable. The maps in Lórien are not near as detailed as these. 

Well then let us take these to Erestor and he can have them copied. Glorfindel rolled the maps back up and gestured for Haldir to walk ahead of him. 

~~~~~~

For the last time Elrohir no I do not need any help! They had made it to the archery range though none had their equipment. Instead they had settled and relaxed on the ground continuing their argument from earlier.

You do though, we only wish to aid our friend. We know for a fact that another has already begun a courtship. Leaving her flowers. 

I know about the flowers. This perked up the twin's slightly.

Oh? Then who is sending them. Megilindir sighed and relaxed back against the tree. He hadn't wanted to tell them of it until he had word defiantly from Zinnia. It would be easier to explain everything to them at once than to wait to tell them the end result. For elves they were quite impatient.

I am. 

You? Elladan voiced enough surprise for both the twins. 

Do not sound so surprised. Megilindir laughed at their expressions. I have told you I have had experience in these matters. Not much, but some. He sighed then and leaned back against the tree. In the note today I left a meeting time and place. 

When?

Where? Both twins spoke at the same time causing Megilindir to smile and look at his friends. 

Tonight in a place I have always found to be quite enchanting. If she shows up she does, if she does not. . . well then perhaps it will be for the best. He shrugged slightly. 

~~~~~~~~

Arwen I need your help. There was almost a desperate quality in her voice and Arwen frowned slightly. 

Come sit and relax. Arwen led her to a chair and sat across from her. What do you need my help with. Zinnia didn't answer but simply handed Arwen a note. A note that was written in the same hand that all of the ones the girl had received with the flowers had been. 

_If you wish to know me, meet me in the night gardens before dinner. _Arwen read the note twice before looking up to Zinnia. It seemed as though the girl was in an almost flat out panic judging by the nervous picking of her clothes and movement. 

What am I going to do? 

Why are you so scared? 

I do not know. Zinnia stood and started pacing the room. What if it is not him? What if it is? I do not know how to act with this. The flowers were nice as I could . . I did not have to speak with him of it. And. . I do not know what to do. I mean. . with Legolas it was different. It was more a curiosity than anything. I was nervous but not this nervous because I knew that . .well he was my friend. This is different and I do not know how to explain it any better than that. Arwen smiled slightly as Zinnia kept pacing. 

You do not need to explain it any more. I understand your feelings to some extent. Zinnia looked to her a moment before resuming her pacing. 

What does he expect of me? I have never been around a human before. Not one I did not have to be around. 

You are so sure that it is Megilindir. 

It has to be. There are none others that I interact with that have various scratches and bloody gashes on their hands and fingers from rose bush thorns. Arwen laughed and Zinnia smiled calming somewhat. 

Since when have you known? 

Since the second one. she sighed and sat back down in the chair. I had thought. . that it was just a fancy of his or. . something. I did not think he was serious. I do not think. She groaned and relaxed back in the chair. I can tell you that I never expected him to want to meet. 

Do you not wish to? If not simply do not go. 

I think I do Arwen. I think I do wish to go. 

That is what scares you then. Not that it is him, not that he is human, not that you do not know how to act, but that you wish to go. Zinnia bit her lip for a moment.

Yes. Arwen smiled. 

You have feelings for him. Zinnia tilted her head and thought.

I could have feelings for him. Do I now? He is a friend. Not as close as Legolas, but I know. . well I think should I become closer friends with him. . well. . it. . 

It might turn into something other than friendship. 

It might. Agreed Zinnia slowly nodding her head. I am intrigued by him, not only because he is human but he is a ranger. I have never told ada but since I heard the stories I have always imagined that life. I know that I could never be a guard, I am simply not qualified enough. Had I been an elf, then yes, that would afford me the years to train that it takes to meet their standards. I do not have those years.

I believe that I could become a ranger though. My skills are above any other of my age I would think. Ada says I am competent, and he does not give compliments freely. Perhaps about my drawing or carving. Something done for leisure, but not my weapons skills. He would never tell one that they are anything other than what they are with skills that could make them over confident in a battle. Not even to his daughter. 

No, if Haldir says you are good enough with a blade then you are good enough with a blade. Arwen smiled slightly. He trained me and my brothers for a few years when I was younger. I remember those sessions. Though I have never fought in a real battle I know the fact that he deemed me able to hold my own fact. 

Then you understand. Arwen nodded and there was silence for a few moments. I do not know if it would be wise to meet him or not. I do not even know my own feelings on this matter and perhaps meeting with him in anything other than friendship will only confuse me further. 

Zinnia, I think that would be wrong. Zinnia looked up to Arwen. Meet with him tonight. Talk to him of this. She blushed and Arwen smiled. Perhaps not of your growing feelings for him, but your confusion. Tell him that you would like to be friends. Nothing in any of his notes or manner suggests that he would be adverse to that. Nor do I think he would be adverse to anything more than that. Perhaps he feels the same as you.

I have known Megilindir since he was to my knees. His parents brought him here frequently and his friendships here run deep. Never in all the years that I have known him has he been shy. He actually reminds me a little of you or you of him. There are similarities between you that would draw you together as friends. Do not deny his friendship for fear that you could feel more for him. 

Zinnia propped her elbow on the arm of the chair before resting her chin on her hand. Her gaze was settled out the window as she thought on Arwen's words. In her heart she knew that Arwen was right. In the end, she would leave and go back to Lórien most likely never seeing Megilindir again. Even if she did, it would probably be years until their paths would once again cross. She didn't think she could take years of not knowing how she truly felt. Speaking to him of it might clarify her emotions. 

Well I do know one thing. She sat up and grinned at Arwen. I am not wearing another dress. 

~~~~~~~~~

Megilindir once again smoothed out his tunic as he waited patiently in the garden. Nervousness was making him twitchy as he sat there. It had been building in him since he had written the note, only growing through the day. As he sat there now once again the question of her showing up or not weighed on his mind. And once again the foolishness of this whole thing slapped him in his face. 

He had never done anything like this before. Normally if he found a female attractive he had no problems approaching them. Of course none of them had stirred his interest as the human Galadhrim did. He had been with a few maidens before, enough to know what he did not want. Zinnia made him wonder what he was looking for, or even if he was looking. 

He knew that her spirit was strong. That was even more attractive than how her eyes would spark with annoyance at one of the twins or even himself. And though he would never admit it, a few times when they spared he allowed her to best him simply to feel her weight on him. As ungentlemanly as he thought that was, it was a temptation that he had been unable to resist. He smiled when he realized that had only been a few times, the others she had taken him to the ground with a skill that had surprised him at first. 

'Perhaps that is it.' He drummed his fingers on the small table he sat at. Though they were few, he did know of female warriors. There were a handful in the ranks of the rangers. Even more along the out skirts of Rohan. The settlers far away from the protection of the King did not hesitate to train their women. Two swords were better than one, no matter the gender holding it. That was only in the world of men. Elves saw no gender, if one wished to be a warrior one was trained. If they had the skill for it, they were allowed their wishes. 

He had to admit that she was as well trained as any of his rangers. She may not have the experience, but the skill was there. Thinking further he decided that he liked that. The knowledge that he would not have to worry for her safety. A frown formed on his lips then. 'Why am I worried to protect her? She is not my charge. . she is. . a friend.' He sighed and shook his head once again smoothing out imaginary wrinkles from his tunic. 

"Thank you for the flowers." He jumped and turned seeing Zinnia standing at the entrance way. She was wearing a high collared tunic with matching leggings, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "You were distracted, I could not resist." 

"I did not think you would come." 

"For a few hours I did not think I would either." Her eyes traveled to the table behind him before looking back to his questioning. 

"I thought you would like to share dinner with me this night." He held his hand out to the chair across from the one he had been sitting at. Her answer was to smile at him and move to the chair sitting down. He sat across from her a small silence stretching between them as they regarded each other. He suddenly realized he was happy that she wore leggings instead of a dress. She was beautiful in a dress, but even more so when she was comfortable. 

"Your notes. . . they were very flattering." She blushed slightly but didn't drop her eyes. "Thank you for such sentiments." He cleared his throat and shifted slightly. 

"You are welcome, I'm afraid that I am not the scholar that you seem to be though. I have no head for writing." 

"They were lovely." She moved and sat up straighter pressing her palms against the table. "I do trust you will not be mangling the rose bushes any longer though." He grinned at her playful tone.

"You have been talking to Erestor." 

"No, simply saw the aftermath." 

"The bushes will grow back." She grinned and her eyes dropped to his hands.

"I was also speaking of your hands. It was how I knew it was you." This time he did blush not even having thought of that. He looked down seeing the various scratches. 

"An oversight." She was still smiling when he met her eyes again. 

"You had this all set up just for me?" The table they sat at had been brought out from the main house. A tablecloth of a deep blue covered it with plates set up fit for any meal at Elrond's table. 

"Yes, I had some help." He would have to remember to thank Glorfindel and Erestor for setting this up for him. Glorfindel had caught him ordering a simple plate of fruits and bread for dinner. After a short interrogation the reason had come out and the Eldar had dragged him down to the library enlisting the dark haired advisor's help to make sure no one else knew of it. They had of course then, in their wisdom, expanded on his plans slightly. Silence stretched again before Zinnia moved and settled back into the chair. 

"Are you as confused as I am?" A sort of relief came over him. 

"I. . think I am." She nodded slowly and looked down to the empty plate in front of her. 

"I like the time we spend together." Her eyes moved up to meet his but otherwise she was still.

"As do I." He moved forward grabbing the wine bottle and opening it. She nodded when he motioned to her glass and he filled it before filling his. "I propose we spend more time together before you leave." Moving forward she took her glass and looked down into it as if thinking. 

"As what?" 

"Friends, I would like to know you more." She looked up to him. The answer had been immediate and she relaxed slightly knowing that he was not expecting anything more. If he had answered any other way she would most likely have left. 

"Then it is a proposal I can not refuse, it is my want as well." He smiled and relaxed himself. 

"A toast." He said holding up his glass. She smiled and leaned forward. 

"To what?" 

"Friends." 

"To friends," said Zinnia with a nod as their glasses clinked together. They both took a drink. "Now friend." She set the glass down and leaned forward. "Tell me more of being a ranger." He laughed seeing the curiosity in her eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~

Megilindir = bladesinger

Ada = Father


	27. Intentions

Chapter 27: Intentions 

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. 

ARTWORK!!: I've made a banner for this story! To view it go here: www. geocities .com/ maeluiril/ chbanner .html (take the spaces out)

~~~~~~~~

So how do you think our Megilindir will fare with our dear Zinnia? Glorfindel looked to Erestor and smiled. 

He will. . survive. Should he not act as an orc. 

You seem concerned. 

I. . am.

What for? They are both adults, and besides they have enough in common to at least hold a decent conversation. 

That is not what worries me. It is something else. Glorfindel followed Erestor's eyes and saw Haldir sitting next to Arwen. They were talking quietly but he noticed that Haldir was scanning the area. Dinner was to officially start soon and Glorfindel guessed he was concerned as to his daughter's location.

Her father?

Partly. Erestor sighed and relaxed in his chair. He would never hurt his daughter though he may chase Megilindir for a while. No, unless he hurts her, there will be no reason to fear her father. 

Then that is what is bothering you? Him hurting her? I could not see that either. 

No, not physically. And I do not see him intentionally harming her any other way, but the fact remains that she is still young. She has never met another human, and the contact she had with her own kind before was not. . Beneficial. 

Not beneficial? What do you mean by that? 

Why would the Lord and Lady of Lórien take a human child from her family and put her in their March Warden's care? It is not an every day occurrence.

No, one would have thought that had the girl been lost she would have been cared for but returned to her family. Or at least an attempt made. Erestor only looked pointedly at Glorfindel. Then she was not lost? I assumed that she had gotten separated from her traveling party. Again there was no answer and Glorfindel sighed annoyed. At times the advisor sitting next to him was damned irritating. If you are not going to tell me why must you hint at the answer? 

You are old enough to figure the mystery out. Erestor smirked before his expression turned slightly more serious. Besides it is not my place to speak of her past. 

Your expression speaks of something ill. Erestor didn't answer but looked back down to Haldir giving Glorfindel all the answer he needed. He thought it over a moment. The only reason the Lord and Lady, or any elf for that matter, would take a child from their own race would be to protect it. He had to guess that the only reason she wasn't returned to family was because she was in danger with them or because she had none. He shook his head at that though. It would have had to been because she was in danger. They would have put her back with her own kind if they could have. 

Regardless of her past experiences with her race, they will not be repeated with Megilindir. He is honorable and trustworthy. I do not fear for her while she is in his company. Erestor's only response was to nod slightly. 

~~~~~~~

Haldir had been slightly concerned when Zinnia hadn't shown up for dinner. She hadn't discussed any other plans with him. He was going to make an inquiry to Arwen, they seemed to be good friends, but held his tongue when he noticed that the ranger, Megilindir, was absent as well. As he thought about that mystery he kept up his conversation with the others around him. 

The twins were speaking quietly to themselves and shooting him glances every once and a while though he pretended that he didn't notice. That alone was enough to confirm his suspicions that something was going on. There were other subtle hints though. One large one had been the flowers that had been appearing in front of Zinnia's door for the past week or so. She never spoke to him of it so he never broached the subject, though now he was reconsidering that course of action. 

His curiosity was peaked more than anything else. At the moment he saw no reason to be highly concerned. He did guess that this had something to do with both Megilindir and Zinnia. Despite what the others thought he wasn't oblivious, he had noticed the twins always pushing the two together, he had noticed the looks that both Zinnia and Megilindir would give the other when they thought the other wasn't looking, and he had definately noticed the night she had worn a dress to dinner when she didn't have to. That coupled with the fact that she had been wearing make-up signaled something significant. 

He didn't know how to react to the fact that she hadn't come to him to speak of it though. She had told him nothing of the flowers nor had she even spoken of Megilindir other than in passing. He knew she had spared with him a couple of times, and they had lunch together, but never alone. The twins had always been mentioned with the ranger's name. 

All of those thoughts running around in his head only caused his curiosity to grow. He could make a few assumptions, but he wished to know the facts. That had been what led him on the walk after dinner to make sure he had his thoughts organized before he approached Zinnia. He stopped on one of the bridges and leaned against the railing crossing his arms over his chest.

'He would not hurt her.' His eyes narrowed slightly. 'I hope he would understand that if he did he would be seeing me shortly.' He sighed and looked over the horizon watching the waterfall. 'She should have some contact with her own kind besides. There would be worse for her to become infatuated with than the ranger.' As he made his way back to the house his determination only grew. He would find out what exactly was happening and then base his reaction on fact not assumption. 

He was almost to her door when he heard laughing. It was Zinnia's mixed with a lower pitched. Footsteps were heard and making a decision he stepped back into the shadowed alcove effectively hiding himself from view. Only seconds passed before both objects of his recent contemplation stepped into view. They seemed to be enjoying one another's company judging from the smiles and continued laughter. 

"Thank you for dinner, it was lovely." 

"You are most welcome Zinnia." He grinned and kissed the back of her hand before dropping it. "Do you still wish to meet in the morning?" 

"Of course, I would never dream of missing a chance to best you yet again." He laughed and she smiled. "Though I will admit I will miss the flowers I am glad that the game is over."

"As am I." There was an awkward silence before Zinnia quickly moved forward and kissed him. 

"Good night Megilindir." Before Megilindir had a chance to respond she had already entered the room and shut the door. The boy stood there almost shocked before a horse 'goodnight' left his lips and he turned to walk away. Haldir only sighed, he was going to have to have a talk with the ranger. 

~~~~~~~

Glorfindel hadn't been that surprised when Haldir approached him and started inquiring about Megilindir. He answered as truthfully and with as little obvious embellishment as possible. The truth was that Glorfindel thought highly of Megilindir. He was a solid warrior, and a solid man as far as he judged. Even after their conversation he could tell that Haldir was still wary. Perhaps not of whom Zinnia was becoming increasingly involved with but the fact that she was becoming involved with any. 

Perhaps you should get to know him for yourself. Haldir looked to Glorfindel and raised an eyebrow in question. There is normally a patrol that goes out at the end of every month. They only gather messages from the posts and deliver others. Usually they are gone for no more than two nights. Megilindir has taken that ride many times, he will again if I ask him to. Go with him. Speak to him. . Though do not threaten him. Haldir grinned.

I would not threaten him without provocation. Glorfindel only laughed and sat back further in his chair. 

And is not the fact that he has your daughters attention provocation enough? Haldir's smile faded some. 

She deserves. . .

More? A touch of coldness had entered Glorfindel's tone at the thought of Haldir thinking so low of his friend without any reason.

Stability, something long term. We leave in but weeks. This romance will be ill-fated if that is indeed what it is. Though there will be none to blame. . one if not both will be hurt. Haldir sighed. Had we been here longer. . or. . it does not matter. We will leave for Lórien and there is but a very small chance that he would join us for even part of the way. 

Perhaps it is not a romance that can withstand distance, perhaps is. In the end it will be their decision, will it not? Haldir sighed again but nodded. Then worry not for that, both know they will be parted and when I am sure. There was a small silence. Go with him and ease your mind in regards to his person. You will find him very likeable, perhaps enjoy his company. 

I have met him before; he delivered some messages to the woods. Though there was not much of an exchange beyond business. I have no reason to distrust him other than I do not know him. You are right, this trip would be wise.

Of course it would be wise, I suggested it. Glorfindel shuffled some papers and found the scheduled roster missing Haldir's smile. I believe it would also be wise to get the twins out of range of your daughter for a while. Both she and Arwen have been much too secretive when they enter the room for it to bode well for the House's well being. 

She would do nothing permanent. Glorfindel chuckled. 

Arwen or your daughter? Haldir only smiled not really knowing the answer to that question. 

~~~~~~

Farewell ada, have fun and do not kill him. He chuckled and took the package of food Zinnia handed him. 

I would not. 

We would all know it was you no matter where you hid the body. She cut him off and raised an eyebrow in perfect imitation of him. 

Very well, but only because you insisted. She grinned and hugged him. I am surprised you do not wish to go. Zinnia rolled her eyes as she chuckled. 

Surely you jest. You think I or anyone else does not know why the roster mysteriously changed? Or why Glorfindel asked Megilindir to accompany you when the twins would most likely have been a more suited choice? 

I only wish to know him more. She smiled and nodded. 

He is a friend ada, nothing more. He gave her a look that clearly said he knew she was not telling him something and she sighed. Nothing more yet, perhaps not ever. I enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. She smiled up at him. I must remember to thank Glorfindel for sending the twins away besides. It gives Arwen and I more time to plan and less chances of them overhearing us. He chuckled and shook his head. 

I do not believe that was Glorfindel's intention. Zinnia only shrugged and grinned. 

Are you ready Lord Haldir? They both looked over to Megilindir who had his and Haldir's horse saddled and was leading them. 

Yes, let us be on our way. Megilindir handed the reins of Haldir's horse to Haldir before mounting his own. 

Safe journey. Zinnia smiled at the both of them before looking to Megilindir. Ada tends to leave his right side open after a swing jab combination. 

What? Megilindir's tone was confused as Haldir started laughing. 

It is only her attempt at humor. 

~~~~~~~

Megilindir admitted to himself that he was nervous. Haldir had let him take the lead as he knew the land more, and that is how they had spent most of the two day journey. In between posts they simply rode, side by side, in silence. It was almost more intimidating than when he had cornered him in front of the healing room. Not that he thought the Elf wished it to be so, if anything he seemed contemplative. 

Personally he did not understand all of the warnings that the Twins had given him. Yes, Haldir was the March Warden, a very high and respectable position. Yes, he was protective of his daughter, a fact he had learned very quickly. But he did not seem rash or cold. There was no way Haldir of Lórien was as heartless as the twins painted him. Not if his daughter loved him the way she obviously did, and not in the way that he loved her back. Arrogant perhaps, but even that slipped when he was with friends and family.

Megilindir viewed him much as his own father. Depending on the person he could be the most arrogant, most irritating and demanding man on middle-earth, or the most caring, the most unselfish and loving man on middle-earth. The indifference and coldness was just a way to assert the authority that was necessary for his job, not his personality. The elf next to him was no different. 

Oddly, he felt comforted by that fact. No danger would be in his path from Haldir, not unless he provoked it. He smiled slightly as he rubbed his neck where the knife had been pressed during their first meeting. 'A major way to do such would be to harm his daughter. Perhaps that is what this is all about.' Out of the corner of his eye he observed Haldir but nothing was given away in the elf's features or body language. He could think of no other reason for the sudden interest in his company though. Not wanting to feel so uncomfortable in Haldir's presence he decided to speak of it. 

I would not hurt her. Haldir slowly turned his head and looked at him before turning his attention back to the road. I would not do so on purpose. . though I would never unintentionally either. At least I would hope not, I would not . . He sighed and stopped talking. I tend to ramble when I am nervous. He looked to Haldir who had a distinctly amused look on his face. I have not been that nervous since I had Erestor as a teacher. 

It was not my intention to make you nervous. Haldir looked to Megilindir and smiled at the disbelief on the ranger's face. Not my main intention. 

Then why did you wish to go on this round with me? If you wished to simply get away from the house you could have easily taken this task alone. You do not need a guide, even in a forest you do not know. 

You are right. I do not need a guide. Haldir paused a moment. I was simply curious of you. My daughter is very dear to me; I simply wish to override my concerns with you by knowing you. Glorfindel as well as all of the others have told me my worries are groundless. I respect their opinion enough to trust their judgment of you. However I also wish to achieve this opinion through you not words of others. 

Then I hope I will be able to earn your respect Lord Haldir. 

You have my respect Megilindir. Without your help it is plausible that Zinnia would still be suffering. I do not know what you said to her but it helped her and for that I will always be grateful. She seems to like you as well, and I have to trust her even if I do not know you. If she feels that you are worthy enough of her time and perhaps affection, well, that sways me more than Lord Elrond himself.

Thank you lord Haldir. Haldir gives a slow nod.

Know that it would pain me should I ever have to deal with you for hurting her. 

It would never come to that. The conviction and immediacy of the rangers answer surprised him slightly. I would not hurt her. 

Then we have an understanding. 

No offence lord but I came to that understand when we first met. Haldir gave a small smile. 

A quick study as well. Come, we must still visit four outposts and return to the city by dinner. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Are you sure this is going to work? They have only been gone two days. Arwen smiled slightly. 

It is a tradition of theirs. When they come back from patrol they go to the pond and swim, no matter the patrol length. I will take care of their clothes in their room, you take these and get the clothes from the lake. Zinnia took the dresses Arwen handed her. 

They are going to be so angry. Despite her words Zinnia's tone was joyful. Arwen laughed not having had this much fun at her brothers expense since Erestor had helped her to put ink in their shampoo. Though the twins still had no idea who her co-conspirator had been. 

They will get over it. Though I would be very careful to keep alert until you are safely back in the borders of Lórien. 

It will be worth it whatever they do. They both laughed and went their separate ways to fulfill their part of the plan. 

~~~~~~

Zinnia bit her lip hard to keep from laughing as she crept closer to the bushes that she saw tunics and other clothes laying on. The sounds of the twins laughing and splashing was heard and she peaked through the bushes making sure their attention was not towards her area. That and making sure to get a good view of them naked. Slowly she pulled the clothes she could reach from her hidden position. There was still one set of leggings too far out of the way for her to reach.

She gave a small sigh and debated her options. Leaving them was not one of the paths she could take. She had to get them and to do so would give her away. The plan had been to do this in secret but now it appeared as though it wouldn't happen that way. There was no way that she could get the leggings without them noticing her. Deciding that between the shock of her finding them and the shock of them realizing that they only had dresses, she would be able to make it back to the relative safety of the house before they could get to her. With a grin she simply stood in plain view and walked out revealing herself. 

Good Afternoon! Both twins stopped trying to dunk the other and looked to her. My, my you really are identical. She laughed when both realized where she was looking and slid under the water hiding their lower halves. 

What are you doing here? 

I just wanted to repay you for your lovely gifts.

Gifts? 

Those amazing frilly, lacy, pale, dresses. Each word was stressed through her sarcastic tone. So here you go. Enjoy. With that she bowed picked up the pants laughing as she took off as fast as he could towards the main house, clutching the twins clothing in her arms.

~~~~~~

Your move. Elrond only smiled at Erestor as he sat back in his char a smirk on his face. It was a custom of theirs to play chess before dinner. He was about to respond when there was the sound of loud laughter echoing through the halls. They both turned their attention to the door way and saw Zinnia run by, the obvious source of the laughter. Paying no attention they turn back to the chess game until a few moments later there is a loud shout.

You best run.

And pray we do not catch you. This time two figures ran by, capturing both Elrond's and Erestor's attention entirely. A few seconds passed before they looked to each other. 

I believe I may be growing old. Would you please confirm that my sons just ran by, wearing dresses, chasing the March warden's daughter. 

Yes I believe that was the case, your eyes do not deceive you. Erestor nodded and looked back to the chess board. 

And she was carrying their clothes? 

Only some of them. Erestor moved his piece and sat back again.

Ah, then I shall not worry. Check. 

~~~~~~~~

Megilindir = bladesinger

Ada = Father

A/N: This is the first time I've done this. . but I have found a great fiction. It is called Married to the Marchwarden and is about Haldir's wife. You just have to read it, I'm hooked and begging her for a new chapter every time I read one. The author's name is GreenWood Elf and to get to her profile go to the following url:

http:// www. fanfiction. net/ ~GreenWoodElf

Just remember to take the spaces out or it won't work. I haven't had a chance to read over her other stories yet, but if they are anything like the one I mentioned I know I will love them. 

As far as Captured Heart goes, I will try my best to update every week or two. Right now I'm working a two chapters ahead of what you have. So I have the next chapter written and until I finish the one after that won't post. That way if something should happen I have a little buffer space so I don't leave you waiting too long. 

This story is turning into a saga, and I hope I can keep all of you with me until the end. Know at this point, this story is one of my main priorities in my life. It has kept me sane over the past couple of months with my real life. And I just wanted to let all of you know that your reviews really mean a lot to me, even if I don't have the chance to send you an e-mail and thank you personally. Thank you so much for your support.


	28. Leaving Imladris

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: Many thanks to Mellon1 and Gwen for looking this chapter over for me!

Chapter 28: Leaving Imladris

Zinnia laughed as Erestor spun her around. The months had passed and now she and the other Galadhrim were leaving in two days. Elrond had thrown them a feast, and despite having to wear a dress she was enjoying herself immensely. It even succeeded in distracting her from the jumble of thoughts in her head. He pulled her back to him and they continued to dance to the lively music. The song ended a few moments later and they began to clap, turning toward the small ensemble of musicians. 

Come walk with me? Erestor held out his arm, and she took it, smiling. 

I need a rest besides. He grinned and led her out towards one of the well established paths to the gardens. 

I am glad you could make it here, meldir. She hugged him tightly and smiled.

As am I. 

I trust Imladris was everything you had ever thought it would be. She chuckled.

That and more. It is beautiful. I will be sad when we leave.

Ah, then you will be happy to know I have decided to answer yes to your earlier proposition. She looked to him, confused slightly, not remembering having proposed anything to him. He looked to her and grinned slowly, raising an eyebrow. Are you not even happy? You are engaged. She flushed red and Erestor laughed.

Oh! You are cruel, Erestor. She punched him on the shoulder lightly but joined his laughter. I would not take the proposal back. At that point in my life you were the only one I wished to be bonded to. 

And now that is not the case? The blush that had just begun to fade started to crawl back up her cheeks. Then there is one. 

No… yes… I mean… we are friends. She shook her head slightly. It is of no consequence. I leave in but two days… and I… he is a ranger and I live in Lórien. I see no possibility of it becoming more. Erestor frowned deeply at that. Megilindir had questioned him more than a month ago about her schooling. Erestor knew that his questions were not for an interest romantically but for an interest in her as a ranger. 

'If he hasn't asked her yet…' his thoughts trailed off. This would not be good, was he planning on asking her before she left? Had he changed his mind? Erestor knew that Zinnia would make a good ranger, not only because her fighting skills but for her observation and general knowledge of the wilderness as well. He also knew that Zinnia would be overjoyed to do such, even if, he knew, her father would hesitate.

And you would follow him if you could? She shrugged. 

I do not know him that well as of yet, Erestor. I have fun speaking with him… and sparring with him. She grinned. He is a friend. I do not know how many times I have repeated that phrase this past month. She rolled her eyes. Perhaps I should send letters stating such to my uncles before I leave. 

I am sure the lady has already informed them. She laughed again and smiled. 

True, perhaps they will take her word then and leave me alone. No one seems to believe me anyway. She turned her attention back to the path and Erestor smiled, watching her for a moment before doing the same.

'It is not that we do not believe you, aier, it is that we see what neither you nor Megilindir can as of yet.' He smiled at the thought, knowing it would be of no use to speak it out loud. Mentally he sighed as he realized that he was going to have to arrange a talk with Glorfindel. Megilindir would not take advice in regard to the rangers from him alone. He would need back up. 

~~~~~~~~

You are a fool chieftain of the Dúnedain. Glorfindel scoffed and rolled his eyes. She would be a welcome addition to your forces. Her experience is not extensive, but the training has been ingrained in her since she was younger than most of your rangers. Erestor shook his head slightly. He had told Glorfindel to be subtle. 

'That is subtle for Glorfindel.' Erestor thought drolly. She leaves in but a day. Tomorrow she is gone. You cannot ask this of her and expect her answer in a few moments. Megilindir frowned and looked down at his hands which were folded on the table.

I am not going to ask her. It would be… wrong of me.

How? Megilindir sighed. 

I am biased and am not sure if I would be asking her for the correct reasons. I am not going to put her or any of my other rangers in danger. Glorfindel snorted.

She could hold her own in a fight. Her temperament would suggest she is a little rash at times, but she is young, and that is normal for youngsters. 

If I ask her then I must sponsor her… as are the ways of the Dúnedain. I have never taken on a novice before. I have led some of the lesser experienced, but I have never trained another as a Guide. 

Then I would suggest that you take her as your first student. She has been taught everything, though the hardest part would be to show her how to use her skills. Glorfindel sat forward and Megilindir looked to him. Ask her. Megilindir opened his mouth to speak but Glorfindel held his hand up to quiet him. You are hesitant because you have feelings for her.

I would not say I have- 

Child, I am not done speaking. Megilindir snapped his mouth shut. As I was saying, you have feelings for her. And were she some maiden, just some village woman or even an elleth I would be advising you to accept that hesitancy. She is none of those things; she is a warrior at heart. You should not be hesitant.

I just wish to know that I would ask her for the right reasons and not just to… keep contact with her. Erestor sighed and leaned forward as well.

Then what you have to ask yourself is, if you had no feelings one way or the other, would you ask her to join your rangers? Megilindir thought for only a moment.

Yes, there would be no hesitation on my part. I know that she is skilled. I also know that she wishes to be a ranger, or at the very least to travel. But… I know too that… I may not be the best person to sponsor her. 

If you would have no reservations if had you not been friends with her then why should you have reservations now? Erestor sighed before continuing. You are nervous for your actions: do not deny her this chance because of your fear. She is most suited to be a ranger. Sponsor her. Megilindir smiled and looked to Erestor.

Is that an order? Besides, why are you both so set on this? 

It would be a waste to let her skill whither in Lórien. She will never be anything there, Megilindir. Her skill, though great for a human, will never hope to match that of an elf. She does not have the years to train to even the most novice warden level. If you were in her position, would you wish to spend your years simply training and never have a chance to prove yourself? She has a want to travel, she has a want to put her skills to use. Give her that chance, meldir. You are the only one who can. Megilindir frowned slightly looking down at the table.

I do not wish to make the wrong decision on this matter. 

If you decide not to at least offer her the choice, you will be making the wrong decision. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia sighed as she put the last of her clothes in her pack. She had at least another bag full of items she had accumulated while in Imladris and smiled already thinking of the disapproving look she was sure it would evoke from her father. Sighing again, she sat on her bed, looking around the room. It was her final day in Imladris. Tomorrow she would be departing for Lórien.

'I wish…' she sighed again, 'No, I want to go home as much as I wish to stay here.' She pulled one of her dresses onto her lap, running her hand down the fabric. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving her friends and of leaving all of the places in Imladris she had grown to love. Her mind also wandered to the image of Megilindir, and she frowned at her lap. It was the same dress she had worn to the dinner with him. 

'Perhaps it just was not meant to be.' She stood and went over to the closet and neatly placed the dress on a hanger. 'I can't stay, and he can't go.' Her emotions were so scattered that she wasn't sure how she felt about that beyond knowing that she would miss him. His friendship and their talks, his firsthand knowledge of the world, a world she wanted to explore. 

Her fingers trailed across her lips remembering the one brief kiss they had shared. The one she had given him in front of her room the night he had revealed himself as the gift-giver. She knew it had been a rash act on her part, but she had not been able to stop herself. She had just wanted to know. Neither of them had mentioned it, and though she didn't know it he thought about it as often as she did. She was taken from her thoughts by a knock at the door. When she opened the door she saw Megilindir standing there a smile on his face and a picnic basket in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Zia, I was wondering if you would join me for one final picnic." 

"I would be delighted." He led her to the glade they had first had dinner in. It hadn't been the last time they had visited there. Many picnics and talks had taken place between them and many laughs and stories shared. "You seem as though you have something on your mind." She took the blanket from him and spread it out before sitting. He smiled and sat next to her. 

"Nay, simply admiring the view." She chuckled and shook her head at him as she started pulling various food items out of the basket. Despite the opening, he did not wish to waste his last picnic with her discussing rangers. He knew he was being selfish, but he wanted her to himself. 

"Yes, well admire it all you can for I leave tomorrow." She said it in jest but he frowned.

"I know." Their eyes met and there was a small silence, heavy with things unsaid and feelings unvoiced. "I have been to Lórien before."

"Oh?" She smiled at him. "I do not remember you." 

"To the borders, I gave some letters to your father. I never saw past the outer perimeter. I have spoken to you enough of the cities I have traveled for you, tell me of Caras Galadhon." 

"It is the city of light, my home." They settled down both starting to pick from the food. "The trees are much larger than any here. It is hard to describe their enormity. Twenty men or even elves with their arms spread in a circle might make the smallest of them, which are mostly outside the city. In the city they grow to even greater heights and thickness. So much so I would not be able to guess at their diameter." He smiled at her and nodded for her to continue. 

"We live in the trees. Most everything is in them." She got a far away look and a grin on her face as she continued. "Some are higher than others. Ada and I live further out of the city than most. It's not that we are isolated for we're well within the absolute safety of the gates. It is perhaps a ten-minute walk to the main part of the city, another ten to reach the center. Even within the gates there is much land to explore. Gardens and paths that wander between branches of the mellyrn." 

"You miss it." Her eyes cleared and she looked to him. 

"I miss it." She agreed. "But I will miss Imladris as well. The waterfalls, gardens, and… and my friends." She smiled almost shyly. "It is so different from home, but it is no less enchanting." 

"Perhaps one day I will see your mellyrn." 

"I would vouch for you. As would my father, I'm sure. If you wish to, send word and I will petition to the Lady. Though I am sure she will know of you going to the woods before you do." He smiled at her and she returned it. 

"I would enjoy that. Perhaps one day." He shifted slightly knowing that he had to eventually ask her to join the rangers. Both Glorfindel and Erestor had been right. She deserved the choice at least. He hadn't told him what truly bothered him though. Should she join the rangers he would not be able to enjoy her company as he did. They would be nothing but teacher and student, nothing else for he would not allow it. Distraction was dangerous in the wild. He could think of no lovelier distraction, but any feelings beyond seeing her as a student would be a potentially life-threatening force.

"I would as well. You brought a book?" She pulled the book out of the basket and smiled. "This is one of my favorites." 

"I know. I had that copy made for you. Open the cover." She blushed lightly and did as he asked.

'A man could not be bested by a greater opponent.' She chuckled and looked up to him. 

"Thank you, Megilindir." 

"The pleasure was truly mine, meldir." He reached over and took her hand, kissing the back of it. She grinned before pulling her hand away. 

"Enough talk, I am hungry." They both laughed before turning their attention back to the food and began to talk of which twin looked better: Elrohir in the green dress or Elladan in the blue. 

As their talk turned to different subjects, the wine and food slowly disappeared. Soon after Zinnia rested on her stomach reading the book aloud. Megilindir smiled as he lay down as well. He turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand as he watched her. Her legs were bent, her feet swinging slowly around in the air as she read. 

'She is so young.' He thought suddenly. Her pose only made her look more so. To him it would be easy to imagine the rambunctious child she had been still inside the woman that was before him. There was an innocence about her, but not the naiveté that usually accompanied it. An open curiosity tempered with a slight mistrust. It seemed a strange combination to him. But a combination that would aid her if she decided to follow him. 

"Do I have something on my face?" Her question startled him out of his thoughts, and he focused back on her. She had arched an eyebrow at him and tilted her head slightly.

"Nay, only your nose." She grinned as he did. "Zinnia… I must speak to you."

"I believe that sounds serious." Her grin slowly faded. 

"It is serious but not harmful." He sighed and sat up. "I have been postponing this because I have felt that I was not ready. Perhaps that was a mistake… but I was not expecting your answer until many months later." She gave him a lopsided grin.

"If you are going to ask to bond I have already received an offer this week." He looked at her slightly surprised.

"You are going to be bonded?" She laughed.

"A joke between old friends." She sat up and faced him. "Ask me your question that I must not answer for many months. It sounds highly interesting." He smiled slightly before becoming serious again. 

"You speak of the rangers often enough to make your infatuation known, but not your seriousness. I sit before you today asking you to become my student and accept me as your teacher, your Guide."

"Guide?" She asked, not completely understanding but realizing enough that a ball of excitement was growing in her stomach,

"It is how one is able to join the rangers. Another ranger must sponsor you, to be willing to Guide you in training and in traveling for at least two years. Then when your teacher is willing to put you through trials, which are held yearly, you attend. If you pass then you become a ranger. You will be given assignments of your own, though until then you will be working with your teacher and any others that are deemed fit."

"You… you are asking me to join the rangers?" 

"I am giving you that choice. Your fighting skills are there, only your experience must be improved. Also, I am sure you know the basics of tracking and hunting." He saw her growing excitement and smiled mentally.

"I have wanted to join the rangers ever since I learned of them." 

"I have guessed as much." He smiled, unable to keep it from his face. "I ask not for that though, but because you are what every ranger would look for in a recruit: eager, skilled, and knowledgeable. Know that my… my friendship with you has nothing to do with this. I would have asked even if had you never spoken to me beyond calling me an insignificant bug." She blushed slightly. 

"Yes… I apologize for that." He chuckled slightly.

"There is no need." His smile slowly slipped as he watched her. "You must know there are things to consider." She looked to him. "Accepting would mean many things beyond you having your wish to be a ranger." 

"I would have to leave my father." 

"You would." Megilindir nodded slightly. "Not only that, but you would loose much contact with him. Sending letters is not impossible, but chances would be more rare than you have now. Receiving letters would not happen. All of them go to a single camp that will await for you to return to claim them."

"The road is dangerous, meldir. Very much so. It is normal for a guide and student to travel in a group of at least two more, though each situation is different. You will fight, you will most likely kill, you will be injured, and there is a chance that injury could be fatal. I am not going to lie to you, Zinnia, the life is not for everyone." She opened her mouth to speak but he hushed her by holding up his hand. "Even some of those who have wanted it have failed to pass the tests, and even those who do pass the tests do not decide to actually become rangers. You are still young, not a child." He hastily added seeing her slight anger. "Not a child but still young. There are many paths open to you yet."

"What paths?" She held his gaze with hers. 

"That… that is what you must think on, Zia. It is not my place to show them to you for only you would know them. Just know that a ranger's life is not an easy one. It is not a romantic thing. It is dangerous, dirty, tedious, and even lonely at times. You must be prepared to face those trials." He smiled and took her hand in his. "I would not have asked you had I not believed that you would be able to accept that life. To make it your own and live happily with your choice. I enjoy being a ranger, but others would not." 

"I have put off asking you this for many reasons. At first it was because I wished to make sure of your skill. Woman rangers are rare, but those we do have are usually the best of us. It is just safer to know more of your skill level."

"Is that why you sparred with me all those times?"

"One of the reasons." He smiled. "You were also a worthy challenge." She grinned. "Also, as I got to know you I was concerned that my friendship with you was damaging my objectivity. I did not want to put you in danger by asking you simply out of a want to keep your friendship. Erestor and Glorfindel corrected that notion." Her grin grew to a smile just thinking of how the two elves had convinced him. Together the advisor and sentinel could be a very persuasive force. 

"The main reason though… the main reason is you."

"Me?" She frowned confused.

"I… I do not know my feelings for you other than they are of friendship. But friendship that could grow deeper or perhaps into something else." Her confusion was slowly replaced by surprise. "If you accept, Zinnia, if you accept and become my student, even the feelings I have for you now must change. A friendship is allowable to a degree, but we will be relying on each other. There could be no more between us until you were no longer my student. You only have one chance at the trials. Should you take them too early, or should you fail, you have no second chance. You will never become a ranger and I would have failed in your training." 

"The fear, my fear, of being unable to sort my emotions was what truly held my tongue. I could not live with myself if I knew I had not prepared you to the best of my abilities. If I had failed you by not seeing things because I was blinded by friendship or… or anything else. So should you accept, you will be my student, I will be your guide. There will be nothing else between us. The friendship we have now must fade." 

"I… I understand your concerns." She put her hand on his cheek and he looked up to him. "But I do not share them. You are much like Ada in adherence to duty. There would be no chance of you being unable to prepare me to the best of your abilities. Though I do respect your thoughts on the matter. If that is how you deem it so be it… should I accept." She slowly lowered her hand.

"There are many things to think of. Leaving my home, my ada, my family, and everything else. It will be a hard decision to make. For even if I choose to go with you, I still must… I will have to find a way to leave them. To leave my safety." 

"I understand, meldir. You have many months, as I had said. When I leave here shortly after you, my journey will eventually take me to your borders. Should everything go as I have planned I would be there a month or so after solstice. That is ten months from now. I will need your answer then though. It will not be able to wait any longer, and I will most likely not return to your land for years." 

"Should I find that I do not wish to be a ranger… would I be able to return even after I left?" He smiled at her.

"Yes, at any time. Until you pass your trials you will be free to leave as you will. Though should you leave… you may not return."

"I understand." There was silence for a moment. "It would be difficult."

"Yes, the trail is hard and the dangers are." 

"That is not what I mean." He quieted and looked to her. "I meant that it would be hard to separate my feelings of friendship for you. I… I feel as you do." Silence fell again as they looked at each other. 

"Zinnia." His voice was a whisper as they each leaned closer to the other. "We should not." Despite his words he still moved even closer to her. Her lips began to curve into a small smile. 

"I have not agreed to your offer as of yet." Their lips met in a sweet and tender kiss. One that soon turned deeper as each moved closer to the other. Zinnia moved her hands up his shoulders even as one of his wrapped around her waist to pull her closer to him. His other hand moved to her neck, his fingers stroking her skin. He pulled back from her lips, but other than that light movement neither moved. 

"I leave tonight." He sighed and closed his eyes resting his forehead against hers. 

"Why?" She moved so she was embracing him more and he smiled.

"You tempt me." She pulled back to look at him, surprised, and he smiled covering her lips with his thumb before she could protest. "You do not mean to, I know, but still you do. And though I like to think my willpower is strong, I am only human." He smiled slightly and ran his fingers gently down her cheek before his expression flattened into something more serious. "That will not happen again." His features softened somewhat. "It cannot, please understand." 

"I understand." Her voice was a sigh and she sat up straighter moving away from him slightly. "Though you do not have to leave because of me." He smiled and took her hand in his.

"I do not leave because of you, but because of me." Gently squeezing her hand he grinned. "Enjoy the book, and perhaps think of me."

"I will." She smiled at him and he cleared his throat before standing, not trusting himself to hold back from kissing her again. 

"I will send a letter when I am closer to your borders. Your answer will be known if you are there to join me when I pass through. We will not tarry." She stood and faced him.

"I understand." He realized he was still holding her hand and almost blushed. 

"Choose carefully, Zinnia. Choose with your heart but temper it with your mind." He leaned down and kissed her hand before looking up to her. "I know you will choose wisely." He let go of her hand and hesitated as though he was going to say something but turned and left before doing so. She watched him until he had disappeared from sight completely. Sitting back on the blanket she pulled the book into her lap but didn't open it. She sighed, a small smile on her face, and laid down, putting her hands behind her head watching the sky. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir looked around the small clearing and frowned deeply. Many had shown up to see them off: Lord Elrond, the twins, Erestor, Arwen, and many others. That wasn't what made him frown though; the absence of a certain person had been the cause of his displeasure. He scanned the area once again but still no ranger. 

I would have thought he would have at least shown up to say goodbye to her. Haldir glanced to Glorfindel who had just walked up beside him.

Megilindir and your daughter said their goodbyes yesterday. He left during the night. Glorfindel stifled his smile, knowing why the ranger had left. 'That boy has too much self control sometimes.' I will be sad to see you go, old friend. You do not leave your precious mellyrn enough. Haldir turned and raised an eyebrow, causing Glorfindel to smile even more.

I do not remember you coming to visit in the past hundred years or so. 

Yes, well, unlike you, I have duties I must attend to. Haldir's eyebrow only raised higher at Glorfindel's words before they both chuckled. 

You have your duties I have my 'precious mellyrn' as you refer to them. They both looked over at the sound of rich laughter. It looked as though the twins had given Zinnia some sort of letter that she was laughing at. 

It was a joy to see both you and your daughter, meldir. Safe journey, and perhaps I will visit soon.

You should. Haldir smiled. You know you are always welcome. 

As are you. 

After all of the goodbyes were said, the Lórien Company mounted their horses and slowly left the gates of the city. Haldir noticed the slight sadness in Zinnia, but he assumed it was no more than to be expected. He knew she had made friends and also knew that she would miss them. She looked over to him and grinned slightly as he moved his horse side-by-side with hers.

And what is this? He looked to the rolled up piece of parchment she held. 

The twins' revenge for my stealing their clothes. She grinned. They say I am not allowed to open it until we reach Lórien. They said something about me turning around to help them reach the shores of Valinor before their time. Haldir chuckled. 

Then perhaps I should hold on to it for you? She smiled but tilted her head. 

No… no I think I will keep it. Besides, I must learn to resist temptation. She put the scroll in her saddle bag. 

As you wish. They rode a few more moments in silence.

Thank you, Ada, I had a wonderful time. I could not think of a better gift. He smiled at her thinking of the maps he had commissioned, knowing that her seeing Gondor and a few other places he planned on taking her would also be treasured memories of hers. 

Think nothing of it, my sweet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Megilindir = bladesinger

Meldir = Friend

Elleth = female elves

Ada = father

Mellyrn = Elvish plural of mallorn (Golden trees of Lórien)


	29. Goodbyes

Chapter 29: Goodbyes

Zinnia shut the book Megilindir had given her with a sigh. The time was approaching when she would have to make a decision. Though in her heart she knew that her decision had already been made long ago, Her only real decision now was how to tell her family that she was leaving within a few months. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought of it. Her fear was that they would be disappointed with her for wanting to go.

She swung her legs around the air as she put her palms against the tree branch. It had seemed like ages since she had a peaceful moment. Even there at her tree, her thoughts were plaguing her. The fear of telling her father, the fear of leaving, the fear of something new.

Something new. She smiled at the thought. Though she would never have admitted it to any there, she was growing more and more bored with nothing to do but read books or spar. She felt stilted there, and had only noticed it more after returning from Imladris. Lorien was her home, and she would forever think of it as such, but at the moment it was suffocating her.

Making her way down the tree limbs she landed on her feet with a soft grunt. She pulled the book to her chest as she started wondering the worn paths aimlessly. 'The hard part is over, I have decided to go. Now. . now I must tell ada.' She closed her eyes tightly ignoring the spike of fear that went through her. He had been not only her safety but her guide for so long she wasn't sure how she would handle his reaction if it was negative. She jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder.

It is best to walk with your eyes open. Celeborn smiled as she looked to him. She realized she would have walked into a tree had he not stopped her and blushed. Though perhaps your attention is focused more inwards than outwards.

Yes. . I…

You have been very contemplative since you returned from Imladris. He smiled as he reached out and gently tilted her chin up. Your smile has been behind a mask of thought. A shame, your smile brings much joy.

I have much on my mind as of late. She smiled at him and he took her hand placing it in the crook of his arm as he started leading her down the path.

Perhaps some of these, things, on your mind revolve around a ranger? He laughed when her face heated a dark red.

How do you know of that?

Aier, you are not the only one with friends in Imladris. Elrond found it rather amusing. Especially his sons wearing dresses. I must say that I agree with him when he said it was inspired.

Arwen helped me to plan it. She giggled softly and relaxed. And yes, he is one of the things on my mind, though…not the only.

Ahh. They walked in silence for a few moments. And yet from your actions I would guess you have not spoken to any of your thoughts.

I have not. She sighed. I am scared to speak of it. I… she cleared her throat. Megilindir has asked me to join the rangers. She glanced to Celeborn and saw that now he had a thoughtful look on his face.

You would make a fine addition to their ranks. Celeborn smiled at the surprise on her face. You thought I would advise you not to go?

I thought so yes. She sighed as they continued walking.

Why may I ask? He gave her a questioning look and smiled at her.

I…am young to you, to ada. I did not think that that you would wish me to leave.

I do not wish for you to leave, but I can tell you are no longer happy here.

I am not unhappy. She said quickly not wanting to offend him.

You are. He smiled at her. Do not think I do not understand. You have the opportunity for new more exciting things. I understand this, and give your ada a chance; he will understand it as well.

I am scared to tell him. I am scared to leave him. She looked up to Celeborn and he patted her hand.

Come help me with my falcons. He started up the steps smiling when he heard her footsteps following. They worked in silence, cleaning out the cages and adding fresh bedding and seed. Do you notice anything of my falcon cages aier?

She stood at the question and looked. Noticing nothing she titled her head. They were simple wooden cages. They are made of wood? She looked to him and he smiled laughing softly.

Yes, they are made of wood. Look at them closer, but not as close. He smiled when she rolled her eyes but looked back to the cages. A look of surprise came over her face and he knew she saw the answer.

They have no doors.

That is right aier, and yet the birds know they are free to return at any time. I have not had a single one that never did return, though all have left. And though I would never compare you to a bird, it is the same principle with children. You must let them go for them to return. You were a delightful child, and though I would love for you to stay here longer, not all of the experiences in this world are found within these city walls. Your ada will understand that, though it may take him a little while to figure it out.

Zinnia paused momentarily as she heard her uncles' loud laughter, it was followed shortly by Haldir's and she went back to her task of setting the table. She had made sure that all of them were going to be home that week, and made sure to invite both of her uncles to dinner. Not that was something rare in and of itself, but tonight would be different. She had decided to just screw up all of her courage and tell them of her decision.

Something smells wonderful. Rúmil was the first one in and had a large smile on his face.

Then we all know you didn't cook it. Orophin laughed as Rúmil elbowed him in the stomach. Sorry brother, you have improved…slightly.

Thank you for your show of support. Rúmil rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch sitting.

You did not tell me you were going to cook tonight. Haldir smiled and walked over to Zinnia giving her a kiss on the cheek before reaching out to grab a carrot to much on.

None of that. Zinnia smacked his hand and smiled as he dropped the carrot. It will be ready shortly.

Haldir only sighed. Very well daughter. Rúmil is right, it does smell good. I would go hungry without you here. He gave a small grin and sat with his brothers missing Zinnia's small frown. She hesitated momentarily before she finished setting the table and started putting the food out. After everything was set she made sure to fill her Ada's and uncles' wine glasses as much as she could before calling them to the table.

If anyone noticed her nervousness as the meal progressed, no one spoke of it. Though she was getting many compliments on the meal she couldn't force herself to eat anything. Her stomach was in knots and she only managed to push the small bit of food she had dished out around her plate. The others were in the middle of some discussion she hadn't been listening too when she suddenly spoke.

I…I have something to say and I wish to say it without anyone interrupting me until I am done. The conversation fell silent as they all looked to her. This only made her more nervous and she fidgeted with her fork before setting it down.

You sound as though you speak of something grave. Orophin gave an lopsided smile trying to lighten the mood slightly. She could only swallow the lump that had formed in her throat and nod slightly.

Then speak your mind dear one. Rúmil gave her a soft smile and she looked to Haldir. There was an expression of something she couldn't place on his face. Though his lips were turned into a slight smile there was another emotion in his eyes than humor.

I do not know how to say this other than what it is. I am leaving in two months…roughly. Megilindir asked me to join the rangers and I wish to accept. I wish to become a ranger. She held Haldir's eyes with her own, his reaction the one she was dreading the most.

You should work on your delivery, but it is a good joke. Orophin chuckled slightly and took another drink of his wine. She looked to him and frowned slightly.

It is no joke, he asked me before we left Imladris. He is to send a letter when he is to be around Lorien. In Imladris, he said to expect him a month after solstice.

It must be a joke, for you are not going. Haldir's tone was firm and Zinnia's attention went back to him.

I am ada, I am leaving with him.

The Mordor you are! Orophin stood and threw his napkin on the table.

Orophin, sit down and hush! Rúmil's tone was just as firm as Haldir's had been and Orophin sat almost without thinking. Zinnia's eyes never left Haldir's during the exchange.

You are not. She lowered her head as she closed her eyes. You are too young…and I will not let you go with him. Even if his intentions were pure I would not- He quieted when Zinnia slammed her hand on the table and looked to him.

Ada! His intentions are pure; he would have asked me even if we were not friends. Zinnia's anger only rose when Haldir scoffed slightly. Damnit I am almost 22 years old! I am old enough to make this decision. I am old enough because I am human. She stood as she nearly screamed and brushed her hair behind her ear.

It is round ada, not pointed. I am mortal, and as such may only live to reach 100 years. 100 years! And that is if the valar is with me, most likely it will not be that. Almost one fourth of my life is gone…gone and unlike you or anyone else that I love here I will not be reborn when I die. I will not go to Valinor to live until the end of Arda. I will die. I will die and that will be it.

As much as I love all of you, this place, and everything you have ever given me you can not ask me to stay within these city walls for my ever! You can not expect me to do nothing but spar, knowing I will never be able to use my skills. You can not expect me to be happy with only reading of these wondrous places. Please, accept that this is my path. Your permission or not I am leaving. Ada, please, I want your permission. It would break my heart if you…if you did not give it. She felt the tears in her eyes but refused to let any of them fall.

Haldir's only visible reaction to everything was a set in his jaw and hardening of his eyes. Slowly he picked up his napkin, wiped off his mouth, before standing and leaving the flet. The other three were left in silence, Zinnia's head bowed and struggling to keep the tears from her cheeks.

You are not leavening. Did you think of how it would affect us? Of your Ada! It will break his heart. Orophin threw his own napkin on the table before quickly following Haldir. Zinnia watched as he left then took a deep breath and started gathering the dishes from the table. Rúmil watched in silence before standing and going over to his niece, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Dear one? He felt the tenseness in her body and frowned.

Go, just leave too. Her voice was a near sob and she tried to pull away from him. He only pulled her closer and hugged her as she started to cry.

They do not leave you. He started stroking her hair wishing her to calm.

You do not hate me do you?

Zinnia. Rúmil pulled her back and tilted her head up. No one hates you, we love you. The thought of you leaving hurts, and we all react differently to that. Orophin yells and Haldir . . well your father simply goes away to understand his own feelings before speaking of them. He does not wish to hurt you will ill words. Do not take his leaving now as anything other than shock and surprise. She leaned forward and hugged him tightly putting her head against his chest. Give them time to . . accept what you have told them.

I did not just decide this. I . . I have been deciding this for a long time.

Why did you not tell one of us then?

I knew that you would not be able to hold from telling Orophin. She looked up and saw him blush slightly. I knew Orophin would react badly and end up telling ada, and I . . I'm afraid of what ada will say. He gave me so much and now I am . . I am just leaving. It is not as though I do not appreciate what he has done for me. What he has given me. . I just.

Dear one. She quieted and looked up to him. No one thinks any differently. It is natural to search for your own way, and it is more than natural to want to do that on your own. He smiled softly at her. Away from your family.

It will be the hardest thing I have ever faced. Leaving you and ada and Orophin, Lorien, everything. But. . I know, in my heart and mind that I must do it.

Then allow nothing to hold you back. Rúmil leaned down and kissed her forehead. Know that letting you go will be the hardest thing that any of us will do, in the past, present, or future. But know also that we knew that it would happen. All parents and families know this, we have just. . . refused to see that.

I do not wish to hurt any of you.

And we do not wish to hurt you. She sighed and moved her head back on his chest. I know that keeping you here would kill you, your spirit. Truth is, I have been expecting you to say something of the like for years now. Though I hope you will return to visit once and a while. She smiled and tightened her hold on him.

Whenever I can uncle, I promise.

Then I shall have to be satisfied with that. Come, I shall help you clear the table.

Haldir! Orophin's shout didn't stop his brother though. Haldir, wait. Haldir stopped and turned to look to his brother. She is just young and impulsive. Give her time to realize what she said and she will take it back.

Orophin, I need time alone. Please, leave me. Haldir turned and walked away missing Orophin's frown.

She will not leave. Orophin's statement was more to himself than any one else. He hesitated a moment before deciding to give his brother space and turned to find his own peace.

Haldir decided he needed to clear his head and walked toward the archery range. It had been a long time since restless thoughts had driven him there. As he reached it he cursed realizing he had left his bow and quiver at his Talan. Knowing Zinnia would most likely be there he hesitated on returning. Instead he sat down on one of the near by benches and put his head in his hands not knowing what to do. Her wanting to leave had taken him completely by surprise. Something that usually happened quite often with his daughter it seemed. Sitting up he ran his hand down his face and sighed leaning back against a tree.

What am I going to do now?

You are upset.

Surprised, Haldir's eyes snapped open at Galadriel's voice. Seeing her standing there before him he stood immediately. My Lady. I am sorry; I did not realize you were here.

Do not stand on my account. She motioned for him to sit again and took a seat next to him. No, your thoughts are very far from the here and now. She tilted her head slightly. Your daughter, she troubles you this eve?

I believe taking her to Imladris was a lapse in judgment. Haldir looked away as Galadriel raised an eyebrow. A ranger has put notions into her head.

Notions?

He has asked her to join him! I did not know when I met him that he would do such. He seemed nice; all of Imladris even seems to have a friendship with him. Yet he tries to…to-

Steal your daughter? There was a slight amusement in her tone that angered Haldir. He stood quickly and started pacing.

She…she is not leaving. There is no reason for her to go where she is not safe. It is folly to even think such. Yet now she says she will leave with or without my consent.

She would never leave without your consent. You are her father Haldir; she loves you too much to sneak away. To her leaving with anything less than your complete and total agreement would constitute a betrayal on her behalf. Have no worry for her going against your word.

Then she will stay. His shoulders sagged in relief and he sighed.

If you order it of her, she will stay. Galadriel stood and looked to Haldir for a moment. Come with me Haldir, I believe you must see something before you return to your daughter.

Haldir looked to her questioningly but followed her without hesitation. Galadriel had never led him astray before, and he knew that she never would. After a few minutes of walking he realized they were heading to her glade where she kept her mirror. When they reached to top of the steps he did hesitate. Never before had he been asked to look, and he knew for her to offer, would be important. He wasn't sure he wanted to look, afraid of what he would see.

It is your choice Haldir; I will not force you to look. Galadriel filled her silver pitcher before turning to face Haldir who had come down a few of the stairs.

I am unsure I want the answers that will be revealed.

Not many wish to know what they will see. She agreed with a small head nod as he finished going down the stairs. The mirror reveals nothing that should not be shown. Though it is your choice to gain the knowledge of what it would share.

What have you seen my Lady? Why do you bring me here now? Haldir watched as her only answer was to pour the water.

You shall know for yourself, should you look. She took a step back and turned her eyes to him.

He swallowed before moving forward. Knowing that if she deemed it important enough to show him, he should take her suggestion and look. As he leaned down over the mirror all he saw was his reflection. He was about to ask if he should do anything when the water started to ripple.

Immediately he recognized Zinnia's grubby face. She was completely filthy and her eyes were filled with such fear that he knew it was the night that he found her. She turned away from him and the image shimmered again. Once more she was dirty but she was running towards him with a large smile on her face holding some flowers. The angle switched and he saw himself pick her up and swing her around both of them laughing happily. Ripples distorted the pictures again and now instead of him swinging around a laughing child, Zinnia was the one turning. They fell back on the ground laughing and he saw that the child was a boy with dark blue eyes and dark hair.

He moved forward more as the images started changing again. Megilindir's face shimmered into view, only he was much older than he was now. Another man stood at his side, dark hair and dark blue eyes. He was smiling and as the image pulled back he saw a light haired woman standing next to him. It looked as though the young man and the woman were getting married. Another small child appeared only this time he was holding Zinnia's training bow and running around a glade that was in Lorien. As if the child knew he was being watched his face turned toward Haldir and he smiled widely. Haldir took in a breath when he saw that the child had the same eye color as Zinnia.

As more and more images flipped passed him, Haldir tried to understand what he was seeing. The changes were so fast that it was hard to see anything, though the child was in all of them. Imladris appeared, and Elrond's face, before it faded to another image. This time Arwen with a loving smile. Next was darkness, lit only by few torches. Lighting flashed and he realized it was orcs, an ocean of them. Light, The white city of Gondor, and then Arwen standing next to the grown child. A young boy was between them and the man was holding a girl who was hugging him and smiling towards Haldir. He recognized that smile as Zinnia's even as he recognized the man's eyes as his daughters.

Taking a step back Haldir tried to piece together everything he had seen. After a moment he looked up and met Galadriel's serene gaze. I do not understand what it is trying to show me.

You do not understand because you do not wish to. Just as you did not wish to see that she had grown beyond a child. Just as you do not wish to see that she is mortal. Galadriel frowned slightly when Haldir looked away. She decides not only her own path but others that are tied to her.

Megilindir. Haldir looked back to the clear water remembering the ranger's face.

He is but one that is tied to your daughter's path. His will either be with hers, or alone.

I did not see him with her. Haldir frowned when Galadriel raised an eyebrow.

Did you not?

No. Her fate…it lies here, in Lorien.

Ahh, one of her fates yes, though her destiny would lead her outside of these borders.

Her fate and destiny are here.

No they are not. Destiny and fate are two different things. Everyone has a destiny, though it can be unfulfilled. Fate is what is decided upon by our decisions. One has nothing to do with the other.

I will not allow her to leave. You said she would stay if I did not allow it. She is going to stay here, where she belongs.

You would deny her, her rightful destiny. Galadriel sighed. Haldir a flower, no matter how loved and cared for, will eventually fade and die without light.

There is light here, I would never deny her that.

Here she is shaded by not only the elves around her, but by the way she is treated, her limitations, her mortality. Galadriel paused as Haldir looked away from her. Beyond these walls is where her true nature will grow and blossom. You have laid the groundwork, but now she must be nurtured in a way that will be impossible by any here.

There is nothing out there that she can not have here.

Open your eyes and see how selfish you are being March Warden! Galadriel's anger finally showed through her calm mask. Taking a small breath she continued. She will not leave you physically if you say she can not. Her spirit though, her spirit will whither and fade. Do you wish to kill your daughter Haldir? For that is what you will do if you make her deny her destiny. If you deny her the one chance she will ever have at love, or adventure. She made sure he was looking to her before she continued. By forcing her to stay you are showing her that you lied to her.

I have never lied to her! Haldir's anger was almost palatable and Galadriel knew she had to break through it or he would listen to no one.

I thought all these years you wished to show her that you were not her master. You told her such, yet now you show her the opposite.

I am not her master! I am her father! She knows this and would never think otherwise.

If you order her to stay, tell me the difference between those two words. She knew she succeeded when he visibly flinched. Softening both her tone and her body language she went to him. You can not shield her from her mortality by keeping her here Haldir. She put her hands on his shoulder and he bowed his head, though she saw the tears that were falling down his cheeks.

You know your thoughts on the matter, but what of your daughters? Have you thought of what she must be feeling? Do you remember the first day you parted from her for longer than a few moments? The first day you left her at school? The fear she felt. She still feels that fear, though now maybe guilt as well. She sighed when Haldir looked up to her. Guilt in causing you and her family such pain. She did not make this decision lightly, and if you think she did you are a fool. She wiped his cheeks much as a mother would then kiss his forehead. Go speak with your daughter. Set this right, and remember what you saw tonight.

Yes My Lady.

Haldir climbed the stairs to the gazing platform with a heavy heart. Galadriel had been right about everything. He was being selfish, and that was hurting his daughter. Something he had always vowed he would never do. When he reached the top he easily saw her form. She was sitting down, leaning against a tree, her head tilted up to the stars. He knew that when he didn't find her at home she would be here. They had shared so many of their nights here. Her asking endless enthusiastic questions, him answering them with nothing but pleasure.

When he looked upon her face now though, he saw no pleasure, or excitement. What he did see saddened him, she was in pain and he berated himself for not noticing it earlier. A sudden flash of memory overcame him and he remembered the first night they spoke of the stars. She had been so frightened then, and the same fear was there now, though perhaps fear of loosing him instead of fear of him.

Do you have a favorite? He smiled slightly when she jumped and looked to him.

Ada. She trailed off and stood looking to him. I…I left some cheese and bread on the table for you. You did not eat much at dinner. She looked away and started fidgeting slightly.

Always so thoughtful my sweet. He moved forward and tilted her head up. What will become of me when you leave? He had meant it as an admitted that he was letting her go but knew she took it the wrong way when she started to cry.

I am sorry ada. She wrapped her arms around him. I will not leave if you do not allow me. I promise. I did not mean to be selfish or hurt you. He pulled her to him and put his cheek against her head.

I am the selfish one tinuamin. I have refused to see you for what you are, and not what I wished you to always remain. He looked to her when she pulled back slightly and looked up to him. I love you with my entire heart daughter. And that perhaps, is a detriment when it comes to me seeing you and not the image I have of you. A happy little ten year old is not the woman that stands before me. I must learn to realize that in both mind and heart.

I am sorry for my reaction. I am the one that has hurt you, and that is unforgivable. Because of my own fear, I reacted as I did. He smiled at her and pushed some hair behind her ear.

Your fear? She tilted her head slightly confused and he smiled leading them over to sit in their spot as they had come to call it over the years. Once they were situated he spoke again.

I fear for you leaving the safety here. I promised to always protect you aier, I can not do such when you are away from me. He sighed and looked up to the sky. You have endured so much evil already; I do not wish it to ever touch you again.

You will always protect me. She moved closer to him and put her head on his shoulder. The skills you have taught me not only with a sword and bow, but just the knowledge you have given me on everything. It will keep me safe.

I wish I could put my faith in such things. It will worry me, to have you out of my sight.

I will be safe. Megilindir is a fine warrior Ada. He will keep me safe in the wild, and I will return to you and tell you of my adventures. Of the places I have been.

At the very least. He smiled slightly and reached into his tunic pocket pulling out the parchment he had picked up at the Talan. I had thought to give these to you at solstice, though I feel they are more fitting in your hand now. She took the paper slightly confused and gave him a questioning glace before opening it.

Maps? Of Gondor. She turned through the others. All of middle earth. When she looked back to him he saw a hint of realization.

I had planned on a trip. Nothing like joining the rangers, though I had hoped you would enjoy it. I had not realized the want to explore ran so deep in you.

I…I did not know you had such planned. She looked to him surprised when he laughed.

Then Rúmil and Orophin were able to keep the secret. Truly I am surprised.

I'm sorry for ruining it Ada. She bowed her head not wanting him to see her tears any more.

You ruined nothing my sweet. Simply…gave the maps a longer life time of use. He gave her a small smile and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. Besides, without one of us here we both know either Rúmil or Orophin would manage to burn Lorien to the ground. He laughed and she joined in, and then hugged him tightly.

I love you ada.

I never had any doubt. And please never doubt that I love you.

I never have Ada, I never have. She sighed and relaxed but didn't take her arms from him. He moved slightly wrapping one of his own around her as they both turned their attention to the stars. Sing me a song Ada.

He chuckled. And what would you like to hear? She smiled softly.

One about elves.

As you wish my sweet.

Orophin sighed as he watched Zinnia pack her bag. It was the final time he would ever watch her do such and it pained his heart when he realized that. She looked over to him and gave a small smile before finishing. The day after she had announced her intentions, and the argument, Haldir had told him that she was leaving. It had been hard for him to accept, but eventually he had, and finally understood how much of an orc he had been. A few tears, hugs, and one cake later they had been able to move past it.

You do realize that with you gone it will be harder for me to escape Rúmil's cooking. He smiled as she laughed and turned to him.

You will just have to become more inventive.

That or my stomach shall have to grow stronger. He grinned and stood. I will miss you blossom.

I will miss you as well uncle. She moved forward and hugged him tightly. I will miss our talks, and you're making fun of Rúmil and Ada.

And I will miss your laughter and continual battles with all of us. He pulled back and smiled at her. You have grown to become a very beautiful and though somewhat arrogant, charming woman.

She laughed. I am what all of you have made me.

You make all of us very proud. He paused a moment. Close your eyes my niece. She looked at him strangely for a second but then did as he asked. You leave today, and though I know I will see you again, and that you could never forget me, your favorite uncle, she smiled at that. I wish to give you something to remember me by. He pulled her cloak on her and pinned it together. You may open your eyes now. She did and immediately looked down.

Uncle…it is beautiful. She slowly traced the pin he had given her. It was the shape of an Eleanor in full bloom.

It was the first flower that you ever gave me. And though I was made fun of by the others for having flowers in my hair, it is a memory I will always cherish. He smiled at her slight blush. Now come, your company leaves in less than half an hour and you still have more goodbyes.

She nodded and pulled her pack over her shoulders following him out the door. As they walked down the path many stopped and said goodbye. As a result it took them almost twice as long to reach their destination. Tears came to her eyes as she saw almost everyone in the city there, including Galadriel and Celeborn.

You are late! Rúmil shot a glare to Orophin as he took her hand.

Do not blame me. Orophin threw his hands up as he rolled his eyes. Rúmil only huffed and continued to walk.

I blame him. Rúmil smiled as she laughed. Oh I will miss you dear one! He hugged her. Who will cook things so I may say that I did?

She laughed and buried her face into the side of his neck. I love you uncle, and I shall learn new recipies for you to burn.

He laughed heartily and pulled back from her. Then you leaving shall not be for nothing. He sighed and kissed her cheek. Now go to your Ada. And here, I have made you some lembas. She took the bag with a grin and he laughed. Do not worry, Orophin was there to direct me so it will be edible.

Thank you uncle. I shall write as soon as I can. She kissed his cheek before going to Haldir who was speaking with Endil.

I shall wait at the gates for you Zinnia. Endil smiled and walked away giving father and daughter privacy.

You have everything?

Yes Ada. Zinnia smiled. He nodded and straightened her cloak. She moved and covered his hands with his. I have everything and am ready.

I know. He sighed. You are sure you do not wish me to accompany you to the borders.

No Ada, it will be easier to say goodbyes here. He nodded again and she smiled. Ada, I will write as soon as it is possible.

I know. He kissed her forehead and hugged her. I love you my sweet. And you shall return to visit as soon as possible as well.

She laughed and pulled him closer. I promise. A throat cleared and they pulled back.

I am sorry, but I can wait no longer. Endil fidgeted slightly obviously uncomfortable at having to break them apart.

Thank you Endil. Haldir nodded slightly. Goodbye my sweet. May your journey bring you all the happiness you can possibly find.

She only nodded not trusting herself to talk without starting to cry again. Slowly she turned and headed towards the gates. She knew that if she turned back she would see her father flanked by her uncles. When she reached the threshold of the gates she hesitated. Actually moving past that would be final, she knew she would not turn back. A hand settled on her shoulder and she turned slightly to see Endil.

The first step is always the hardest. If you can take that one, you can face anything in your path. Endil smiled at her before giving her shoulder a soft squeeze and continuing on. After another few seconds hesitation she took a deep breath and followed him. Leaving her family and heading towards her destiny.

Ada = father

Megilindir = blade singer

Tinuamin = my daughter

A/N: As far as the story Captured Heart is concerned, I am going to be jumping ahead and not following her to meet with Megilindir, nor any of the following adventures. Those will all be contained in another story of which I have not named yet. That story will be all about the missing years in Captured Heart, following Zinnia's days as a ranger. However, like I said in previous chapters, I want to finish with the Haldir centric parts of the story and therefore not putting them in this one.

As it stands right now, I don't know if I am going to start posting that story now during Captured Heart, or wait until Captured Heart is completed. I'm leaning towards waiting simply because I want to devote my energies to getting this story finished. Thank you again for all of your support!


	30. Questions

Chapter 30 – Questions

Warnings: None for this chapter per say. Overall story, mentions of child abuse.

Haldir ignored the curious glances of the others as he paced back and forth near the main gaits. Today was the day that his daughter was due home, a very awaited date. It had been two years since he had last seen her.

Two long years, of trying to build a life without his daughter in it. At first he had thrown himself back into his work. Tried to go on as though she had never entered his life or touched his heart. In the end it had been futile. There was no way he could go back to that solitary life. It no longer held any attraction to him. Not after knowing what else was out there.

Instead he had decided to become a more traditional March Warden. He would still patrol, though now that was tempered with weeks in the city gathering reports, making schedules, and helping with the training of other wardens. Before he had loathed those aspects of his position, but now he seemed to embrace them. Laughter greeted him as he turned again, and he looked up with a scowl.

Do not even start with me. Either of you. He stopped pacing and faced the gates smoothing his tunic. Both Orophin and Rúmil grinned at one another.

We will start nothing brother. Rúmil smiled and stood next to Haldir.

Yes, he will not at least, he is just as excited to see her again as you. Orophin grinned.

I am not the one that baked three cakes and over four dozen cookies Orophin. Rúmil smiled at his brother's blush.

Thank the Valar. Mumbled Haldir under his breath.

I wish both of you would help me rather than hinder on that issue. Rúmil sniffed indignantly and crossed his arms over his chest. At least Zinnia made an effort. You both simply irritate me further on it. Haldir and Orophin both chuckled.

It is too much fun not to dear brother. Haldir grinned at Rúmil but his attention soon went back to the gates when the opening bell rang. Before they were even fully separated Zinnia squeezed through and ran to her father's arms. He laughed and picked her up as he hugged her. Her arms around him just as tight as his were around her. You have returned!

As I promised! She took a step back when he set her back on the ground and grinned. Uncles. She moved and hugged them as well. Oh, I have missed you.

We have missed you as well. Rúmil kissed the top of her head. She pulled back from them and smiled more.

You are back now, though. Orophin grinned.

For a number of months. Three perhaps four. She smiled and looked back. It was the first time any of them noticed the other figure that stood far enough away to give them some space but close enough to show he was waiting. She moved away and went to the man bringing him up in front of her family. Ada you remember Megilindir, Megilindir this is my uncle Rúmil and my uncle Orophin.

Mae Govannen.

Megilindir, it is a surprise to see you here, your letter did not mention you were bringing a friend. Haldir turned his attention to Zinnia who only had a small unreadable smile on her face. She shrugged slightly before hugging him again.

He has agreed to join me this visit. She pulled back another grin on her face.

Then we are most happy to meet you. Rúmil grinned and took Megilindir's arm in a warrior's embrace. Come we have quite the feast prepared. As Rúmil lead Megilindir off Zinnia hesitated and looked back to Haldir.

The rolls and the glazed sweet potatoes. He answered knowing she wanted to be informed on what Rúmil had contributed.

You let him make the potatoes! You know I love those.

Orophin chuckled and put his arm around her shoulders. At least he did not make the desert. Now come, we must make sure your friend gets a nice helping of those potatoes and at least one roll on his plate.

======

Do not be such an orc. Zinnia chuckled at the expression on Megilindir's face.

You could have warned me.

I could have, but then I would have missed the shock on your face.

That was not shock it was disgust. The disgust still evident in his tone.

You hid it well. She laughed and leaned forward giving him a quick kiss. You have not had to live with it for most of your life. Besides had I warned you Orophin would have suspected something. And you wished to ask my father before any others in Lórien knew.

I do...but how should I approach him?

I would say before we go to sleep in the same bed. She smiled as Megilindir chuckled. I do not know, perhaps now? Just ask him, I am getting impatient.

Oh, Valar forbid. He dodged her playful slap on his arm but moved around and pulled her close to him in an embrace. It is your first time home in years meleth. I do not wish to intrude on that time.

Do not think like that. She kissed him pulling herself back before she deepened it. You will be part of this family from now on. The sooner you ask the sooner we will not have to be only friends to them. I want them to know.

He smiled and kissed her cheek before letting her go. You are right. I will ask at the first available moment. She arched an eyebrow at him and he laughed. Before we retire to bed tonight.

Good. She put her hand in his arm and started leading him towards the glade the small gathering was going to be held in. Let us go before one of my family comes to look for us.

They walked sedately to the small party that had been set up in honor of Zinnia's return. It was to be held in a glade on the forest floor, and already music could be heard. Zinnia didn't doubt that wine was already being drunk as well. She smiled as they walked happy to be in her childhood home, and happy to be there with Megilindir. He smiled at her as if he knew her thoughts as they entered the glade.

They had barely taken three steps before Zinnia was surrounded by elves. Megilindir smiled as he watched them. The deep caring and love for her obvious in all of the hugs and kisses. He was surprised when a group was suddenly around him speaking and pulling him over to the wine. They were mostly wardens that had escorted both him and Zinnia back to the city.

As the hours past he met many in the clearing, though he hadn't a chance to return to Zinnia's company. By the time he could work his way to her she had moved to another area. His eyes moved from her to where her father was sitting talking with Lord Celeborn and a few other guards. They were all grinning and he swallowed nervously, still remembering Haldir's reaction in Imladris. He heard Zinnia's distinct laughter and looked back to her a small smile on his face seeing her expression so open.

Megilindir! As Endil threw his arm over Megilindir's shoulder he felt the human jump and laughed. Come meet Gebrir! He is to blame for many of Zinnia's successful punches.

Megilindir laughed as he let himself be led by the slightly drunk elf. I thought that blame rested on her father's shoulders. Endil shook his head animatedly in the negative.

No, no the punches are Gebrir's fault, the kicks are Haldir's. Endil walked to the other side of the glade and up to an elf who was sitting by himself. Gebrir, this is Megilindir, the ranger that took fair Zinnia from our forest.

Thank you for clearing that mystery up for me. Gebrir smiled and looked to Megilindir. I hear that you have been taking great care of our young charge. I thank you.

I hear that you are to blame for her punches. I am not sure to thank you or not. Megilindir laughed as Gebrir did.

Having been a recipient of her sparing, I would not either. Endil grinned. Though I do believe I was lucky enough to not have the full brunt of any of her punches.

Then you trained with her? Megilindir was curious to know which elves she considered age mates. Having grown around them himself, he knew of the dynamics that could develop.

Yes, she was part of my training unit while we were in the city limits. Gebrir our teacher for hand to hand combat. Endil smiled as if lost in memory and his eyes rested on Zinnia talking to others further away in the clearing. Ah young love, a glorious thing is it not?

Love? Megilindir wasn't sure if they had been found out or if Endil was speaking of something different.

You know she has only grown more beautiful. It is a shame nothing worked out between us. Endil gave Gebrir a wink causing the other elf to chuckle.

Go get us more wine Endil. Gebrir had seen the frown on Megilindir's face and if anything it had only caused him to smile more. Once Endil was out of ear shot Gebrir leaned back a little more. You look jealous ranger.

I am not jelous.,,simply…simply surprised. Megilindir looked to Zinnia who caught his gaze and gave him a small smile before returning to her conversation. She never mentioned Endil.

Ah. Gebrir finished his wine before sitting the glass back down on the table. I believe that is because the love Endil spoke of was no more than an intense infatuation with awakening feelings and she was barely 16 at the time. He is drunk, details tend to get forgotten. Gebrir smiled more hearing the ranger's relieved sigh. You do plan on telling her family of your love correct? this time Megilindir did look surprise. I hope so, for Haldir will only be blind to it for a while.

We plan on marrying, bonding. Megilindir swirled his glass slightly. I must admit that it is I who am holding up the announcement. I wish to ask his permission, though I am afraid how the answer will be given. He looked up when Gebrir laughed loudly.

You mean you have enough respect for life you do not wish yours taken from you.

Megilindir smiled. Yes, that would be it. He sighed again. Though Zinnia has given me a deadline of tonight.

Most wise of her. Haldir will notice when you try to sleep in the same bed as her. The elf was silent a moment and then a wide grin broke out over his features. I have a way that will not only guarantee your success in at least a bet, but also it will be public enough that you will at worst loose a limb before someone can stop him.

Megilindir was about to ask what the elf had in mind when he was practically dragged over to the area Haldir was at. By now the table had gotten slightly loud for elven standards and he guessed that most if not all of the merry makers were drunk. He himself was a little tipsy, but nothing that would hamper him severely should he have to run for his life.

Haldir! Much of the table fell silent at Gebrir's outraged shout. Haldir do you want to hear what this upstart of a ranger just said? Megilindir swallowed heavily unsure of Gebrir's intentions.

I wish to hear! One of the other guards yelled with a slight slur. Garan put his hands on the table and leaned forward.

He said that he did not believe that a Lórien archer could fire and hit their target with a distraction. This time all of them fell silent and looked to Megilindir. I told him that our training covers that but he said that he would have to see it with his own eyes before he would believe such a thing! There was a general chorus of jeers.

You doubt the training of the Galadhrim. Haldir raised an eyebrow though he had a slight smile on his face.

Not doubt so much as curiosity. Garan quickly covered for Megilindir who was standing there an expression of unease on his face. I told him that we would have to give a demonstration then. Of course our March Warden would be the one to perform, as he is the best of us gathered.

Of course, I would be happy to clear up any confusion. Haldir stood and swayed slightly but other than gave no indication of his drunken state. Let us go to the archery range and we shall sate your curiosity ranger.

When the others got up to follow Haldir, Megilindir grabbed Garan by the arm. What are you doing?

Giving you the perfect opportunity to ask him. Garan laughed and moved so he had Megilindir by the arm. Come, he will not harm you. I do not see why you are so hesitant. You are not hurting his daughter but loving her. Though I can understand not just walking up and asking him, you should not fear him. Rúmil's cooking yes, Orophin's wit yes, Haldir's temper in regards to this question, no.

Very well. Megilindir sighed and started walking with Garan to the archery field. I guess I shall have to trust you. Garan only smiled in response.

=====

Zinnia's attention drifted from the conversation going on around her and to Megilindir as she saw Garan lead him over to her father. She smiled to herself knowing that Garan had figured it out, though she was surprised others had not yet. Galadriel had, she knew that much for sure, though nothing really passed the elf queen's knowledge. Her curiosity got the better of her and she excused herself to follow the loud crowd of elves as well as her husband to be.

I thought you held me in some affection. Should I assume your not speaking to me tonight is born of malice or neglect? Celeborn smiled as she turned around and grinned at him.

Neither. She moved forward and hugged him still smiling. He wrapped his own arms around her and chuckled.

It is good to have you back under these trees again aier.

It is good to be back. Even if it is temporary. A loud laughing sound caught their attention and they looked back over to the group leaving. I was about to make sure Megilindir did not get himself into anything he can not get himself out of. Would care for a walk?

Celeborn grinned and held out his arm for her to take. So this is the one that took you from us to begin with.

Please I have heard enough of that from Orophin. Zinnia rolled her eyes and Celeborn laughed.

Then I do apologize, I shall try my best to be original.

It is all one can ask. Zinnia laughed and looked forward seeing everyone gathered around her father. He was given a bow and an arrow. Do you happen to know what this is all about? She gestured toward the others and Celeborn chuckled.

It seems your friend has questioned the Galadhrim archery ability under distraction. Haldir is going to give a demonstration. Celeborn looked to Zinnia confused when she started laughing.

Poor ada, he does not stand a chance.

You question your father's ability? Celeborn watched as Zinnia clamed slightly but was still smiling broadly.

Never, no I do not do that. I just believe in Megilindir's ability to distract him.

I highly doubt that your ranger friend can sufficiently distract Haldir.

I do not. She looked to him and raised an eyebrow. I would even place a wager on it.

A wager? This time Celeborn's eyebrows rose. What would this wager entail?

Whatever you wish for winnings, but when you loose whatever I wish for winnings. She turned back to watching her father still joking with Gebrir and the others.

I would then make your payment the agreement that you would return more than once every three years. Celeborn smiled as she looked to him.

You do not have to wager that in a bet. I will get back as much as I can.

Yes, but now you are bound to it when you loose. Now what would you ask of me?

Zinnia laughed. You must host the wedding ceremony. She laughed more when the realization struck him.

Haldir does not stand a chance.

==========

The rules are simple. Everyone listened as Gebrir spoke. Haldir will fire a single arrow, and Megilindir will provide a distraction without touching Haldir..

By this time a rather large group had gathered. Most everyone that had been in the glade when the challenge was issued was now there, including Rúmil and Orophin. Looking around Megilindir caught sight of Zinnia laughing with Lord Celeborn. She looked back to him and grinned giving him a wink. He laughed and focused his attention back on those around him.

Does everyone agree? Gebrir's question was met with a chorus of agreement from all those around. Good, when you are ready Haldir.

You should admit defeat now ranger. Orophin laughed and took another drink of his wine. Many of the others laughed as well.

I think I shall go through with it. Megilindir smiled and nodded slightly to Orophin.

Then I shall wait until you are ready. Haldir notched the arrow and raised the bow. He was taking slightly longer to aim than normal from the alcohol he had ingested.

I am ready.

Then please proceed to distract me. Haldir smirked even as he lined up his shot.

Haldir of Lórien I request your permission to marry your daughter.

The shot went wide as Haldir released the arrow as he turned his head to look to Megilindir. All of the others fell quiet looking from the target to Megilindir as well. Haldir calmly handed Rúmil his bow, who took it automatically not really thinking of his actions. Crossing his arms over his chest he looked into the ranger's eyes.

You wish for what? Haldir made the most arrogant face he could.

Your daughter and I wish to marry.

Marry? Haldir raised his eyebrow a little further. Then I am to assume you are in love?

Very much. Megilindir met Haldir's eyes unflinchingly. He would not be intimidated, not on this matter.

Then you leave me no choice. Haldir sighed and paused a moment before smiling. I have a son! There were loud cheers. I believe this calls for more celebrating. Haldir threw an arm over Megilindir's shoulder. Where is my daughter?

Here ada. Zinnia smiled as he pulled her into a hug though he didn't move from Megilindir. She laughed realizing how drunk he really was.

And you did not tell me…us! Rúmil moved forward as well.

We wished to make it a surprise. She grinned.

Surprise. Megilindir grunted as Haldir slapped him on the back.

Let us return to the music. I wish a dance with my daughter. Just as they started to move out Orophin spoke up.

Wait! Everyone stopped and turned to him. We hardly know him how are we sure that he is good enough for our Zia?

Uncle Orophin.

No..he is right. Haldir smirked.

Ada!

Orophin said it first I was merely agreeing. Pointed out Haldir.

He's brave to ask you while you had a weapon in your hand! Shouted out one of the elves in the crowd causing much laughter.

He's handsome! yelled another though this time the voice was female.

Zinnia laughed and looked to Megilindir who was blushing slightly. Very much so. Agreed Zinnia as she wrapped his arms around his waist.

Thank you for agreeing. Megilindir laughed and hugged her as well.

He ate my cooking with a smile. Rúmil laughed as there were shocked gasps through the crowd.

It must be love! Exclaimed Orophin. More laughter ran around the crowd.

That is a good thing for our lovely Zinnia has tricked me into hosting the ceremony. Celeborn crossed his hands over his chest.

That was your own fault. Zinnia laughed as he smiled.

True. I do believe more celebration is in order though. Celeborn smiled warmly at her.

There were cheers through the crowd as they once again started moving back to the glade. Zinnia and Megilindir stayed behind as the others slowly left after congratulating them. When the final elf left Megilindir pulled Zinnia to him and kissed her passionately.

I have been waiting to do that since we arrived at the party.

She chuckled softly but didn't move away from him. Was it as bad as you had thought?

No, quite easy in fact. He smiled and kissed her again.

Wait until we must start planning.

You foresee trouble?

Not if you can withstand my family and friends.

At least I will not be bored. He smiled at her laughter and leaned in to kiss her again.

Come you two! They looked up to see Gebrir. It is not the wedding night yet. He laughed as they both flushed scarlet. Chuckling he returned to the music Zinnia and Megilindir following after a few more kisses.

=====

Ada = Father

Megilindir = bladesinger

A/N: Wow..i can't believe this story is as long as it is. Very soon you will see how I plan on all of this corresponding with the book and the movie..bwahahaha..very soon. Next chapter soon to be mater of fact, well for those of you who know book cannon. Otherwise you will either have to do some research or wait a few more chapters.

Thank you all for sticking with me through this. I hope you are still enjoying this as much as I am. The story featuring Zinnia/Megilindir is still in the works. I'm really focused on this story, and another I am coauthoring right now. In case any of you missed it I also put out another one shot. I hope to do some more of those as well.

Thank you for your reviews and support!


	31. Secrets Told

Chapter 31- Secrets Told

It was days after the announcement that Zinnia and Megilindir decided to go on a picnic. They had only planned on staying a few months. Everyone was busy planning for the wedding that they had to pull together in such a short amount of time. Especially when the elves were used to having at least a year to make arrangements. They had both told Celeborn and Haldir that they wouldn't mind something simple, but neither would hear of it. Celeborn saying that it was his duty as host to offer the best, and Haldir being her father wanted to give her the best. The picnic was a means of escaping the chaos that ensued.

Both of them sat quietly in a small glade having eaten their food already. Megilindir leaning against a tree, Zinnia resting between his legs, her head on his shoulder as she read a book aloud so they both could enjoy. He had long ago given up concentrating on the words, and now simply listened to the soft sound of her voice. His hand played through her hair as she read and she leaned into it enjoying the contact.

He suddenly took the book from her, shutting it and set it aside. She tried to protest but he turned her gently so she was facing him. An expression of mild annoyance was on her face and he smiled slightly, seeing so much of her father in her that they might as well have been related by blood.

"I was enjoying myself." She raised an eyebrow and he grinned putting his hand against her skin.

"Zia I must tell you something." She smiled and leaned into the hand on her cheek.

"What is it?" Her response was so trusting that he sighed, afraid of her response.

"You know I have many names." When she nodded he continued. "I, my given name is Arador."

"Arador is a nice name. Why do you not use it?"

"Because it marks me as the leader of the Dúnedain. It is safer to not be known by that name."

"Leader of the Dúnedain." She sat up slowly. "That would make you. . ." she trailed off.

"Isildur's heir."

"The rightful King of Gondor." Her tone was one of accusation as her eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Arador sighed as she leaned away from him. "I did not tell you because I was afraid of your reaction amel."

"You lied to me."

"Never once." He looked pleadingly into her eyes but saw what he had feared. Anger, betrayal, and a slight mix of fear that confused him.

"All this time! All this time and no one told me of this? Why was I not to know?" She slapped his hand away when he went to touch her. "No." Their eyes met for a moment before she stood and walked off leaving him behind.

Tears blurred her vision as she walked the path. Her destination didn't matter to her though, only the raw hurt and fear that pulsed in her heart. 'He's a King! A King.' She sat on the first bench she found and stared at the ground letting her tears fall. Her thoughts and emotions tumbling through her too quickly to name.

"Zinnia." Galadriel's soft voice caused Zinnia to look up. "Your heart is in pain."

"He lied to me, my Lady. He lied to me."

"He did no such thing and you know this."

Zinnia looked away, the tears that had been pooling in her eyes falling. "He's a king."

"He loves you. You love him. I do not see the problem that is vexing you."

"He is a king. A king." Zinnia shook her head slowly her eyes closing. "The king of men."

"He is many things, that is only a small portion."

"But. . . I. . I." She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. Galadriel frowned, feeling the deep fear from the girl in front of him.

"You have not told him either?" Galadriel gathered her in her arms and started stroking her hair as Zinnia sobbed .

"He. . knows something. He saw the scars, and knows. . knows I haven't lived here my entire life."

"Child, there is no reason to fear."

"He is a king!" Her tone was so forlorn that Galadriel pulled her a little closer.

"He loves you."

"Not when he knows. . not now. Not now!"

"You do not give him enough thought. He loves you now, and he will love you after you tell him. Did you not think he was scared to tell you for your reactions? That you would not love him because he is a king."

"I do not care if he is a king, ranger, or a cook. . but. ."

"Then why would he not love you?"

"It is not the same." She pulled away from Galadriel turning her back to the Queen.

"How is it not?" Zinnia froze hearing Megilindir's voice.

"You think too little of yourself as well. Do not deny your love nor your happiness because of your past fears. Those fears are over child, let him help you see that." With those last words Galadriel leaned over and kissed the top of Zinnia's head before turning to leave with a nod to Megilindir. Silence permeated the small glade.

"Go away."

"I will not." Megilindir moved closer and Zinnia moved so her back was to him. "Why are you so upset? Please tell me?"

"I do not wish to." Zinnia leaned forward more and covered her face with her hands. "I. . I don't want you to know. Just leave. Just. . . just go away."

"There is no way I can do that Zia. If you tell me you do not wish to see me again. . I will have no choice to accept it." He sighed and moved so he was kneeling in front of her. "But I love you too much to leave you in pain." He pulled her hands away from her face after a brief and slight struggle. "Your tears hurt me, more than any blade could. I will not leave you without making sure things are right between us. Nothing could make me leave you right now."

"I. . I don't want to tell you. I don't want you to hate me. I may not be an elf but if you leave me I will die from a broken heart."

"I would never leave you, and I could never, never for any reason hate you." He moved forward and pulled her into a hug. She went completely rigid at his touch. "I love you, Zinnia Haldirtinu. I love you more than life itself. I would give everything up for you, and if that means you wish me to officially renounce my title, I would do it. I would not hesitate."

Unable to stop herself any longer she leaned forward into him putting her forehead against his shoulder. Breathing in his scent and listening to his words only made her fear grow more. Even after all their years in the field, after their time together, and even after he had seen the scars she had never been able to tell him. Something had always held her back, something had always stopped her. She realized now it was the fear that he would leave her, disgusted by her past.

"No. . no it is not worth the sacrifice."

"Zinnia you are worth so much more."

She laughed then, a laugh caught halfway between a sob. "Only three gold pieces."

"What?"

"When my master bought my brother and me. The cost was only three gold pieces. I was so scared when he came to take us from our mother. He. . ," she closed her eyes tightly. "She tried so hard to keep us. Screamed and cried, but they only beat her. I think they killed her that day, but I never saw her again to know for sure." He held her tighter understanding what she was telling him and she moved forward sliding off the bench and onto his lap.

She didn't stop there though. Once she started she just kept talking, letting everything pour out of her. Things she had only ever told her father she ended up telling the one holding her. The tears never stopped and neither did her words. Throughout it all Megilindir only held her tight and let her talk.

Anger rose in him, a type of anger that he had never experienced before. It was so fierce and so pure that he had trouble holding it in check. Instead he tried to focus on the broken words that were coming from the woman he loved. He didn't realize that tears were falling down his face as well. When she stopped he didn't know what to say. Feeling her start to tense he held her closer not letting her move from him.

"He. . he was even able to hurt me after he died. In Imladris, when we first met. The time I . . when I reacted so badly to you."

"I remember." His voice was rough with the emotion he was feeling.

"Elrond told me that. . that I can't have children. The damage from when I was younger is too extensive. A. .. a king needs heirs, I am worthless to you."

"Worthless? I love you." He pulled her back and tilted her head up not allowing her to look away. "I. Love. You." He enunciated each word his voice strong and leaving no room for doubt. "You and none other. Ever. Do you think that I could love you any less for what that monster did to you?" Her eyes moved down and he sighed pulling her close again.

"You say that me leaving you would break your heart, but do you not understand that you leaving me would break mine? Your past holds no sway over my love."

"But I."

"But nothing!" She jumped slightly. "I am sorry, please. . I am so angry." She looked down again and he sighed nuzzling her neck. "Not at you my love, please never think that. I love you and it hurts me that you are in pain." He sighed and closed his eyes resting his head against her. "I am angry that this happened to you. That I was not there to protect you."

"You didn't even know that I existed."

"I don't care." his fell on her neck and she pulled her arms around him. "I don't care." They both held each other for a while, giving and taking comfort in the other.

"I. . I should have told you before." Zinnia still looked to the ground. Megilindir pulled back from her and wiped a few tears from her face. "I should have told you before you asked me to marry you, before I said I would, before we traveled all the way back here."

"Perhaps." Megilindir replied. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. "My words would have been the same then as they are now. I love you Zinnia, I love you and I want you to be my wife. I want to be yours and I want you to be . . ." he trailed off not sure if he should say that in light of what she had just revealed to him.

"Mine. Say it." She looked up to him.

"I want you to be mine." He leaned into her hand as she reached up and wiped a tear off his cheek. "But I do not wish to own you." He almost let out a relived breath when she smiled slightly at him.

"I know you do not. I have never, not once felt owned by you. I know the meaning behind your words is not the same as. . as when I was a child." She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. His only response was to move around slightly so they were both more comfortable. "A king need heirs."

"Kings have adopted in the past. I am not a true king besides. A king without a kingdom, a king who can not reclaim his throne, I am nothing but a ranger, chief of the tribe. My reach extends no further than that. I do not believe it will fall to me to achieve any further rank besides."

"Then it really does not bother you. . my past?"

"Nothing of you bothers me." He paused a moment. "Save your stubbornness and unfailing ability to irritate me." She laughed and looked up to him. Smiling he leaned down and kissed her. "No. Nothing of you could ever bother me." He reached up and caressed her cheek.

"Your arrogance bothers me." She put her head back on his shoulder.

"You love that of me."

"Ah, that is true enough." She chuckled softly.

"Do you still wish for me to leave?"

"Never. Do you still wish me to be your wife."

"Always." He accompanied his statement with the tightening of his arms around her.

"Then we have an agreement." She moved closer and hugged him tighter to her.

"A very solid agreement." Megilindir smiled and kissed her gently.

=====

Haldir sighed as he opened the door to his home, a headache forming. 'Who could have thought that a wedding would entail so many details?' As he walked towards the bathroom, intending to take a nice long, hot bath he heard laughing and then a very loud 'thud' from Zinnia's room. Stopping in front of her door he paused only a moment before opening it and finding Zinnia and Megilindir in a passionate embrace. He cleared his throat and both of them pulled away and looked to him, red flushes forming on their faces, this time from embarrassment not exertion.

Ada I, she blushed more as Megilindir quickly pulled his hands from under her shirt.

Haldir held up his hand to stop her. Please do not explain. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. I believe for everyone's well being you both should petition for a guest telain to stay in for the remainder of your visit. You would have more room and privacy. He looked back to them. I am going to my brother's. Before he reached the front door he heard more laughter and shook his head. Children.

==========

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next one should be out soon. Most of it is already written.

I want to thank Mellon1 as well as Cee for looking over this chapter for me. Please check out their stories! Some awesome stuff. You can go to my site that features original character fiction at www. foxyfiction. net or find their stories on www. fanfiction. net. (remember to take out the spaces)

For those of you who are waiting for the ranger tales…they are coming. Just please be patient. Right now I really want to focus my energy on finishing this story. It has been a long time coming..lol..the end that is. But I'm glad all of you have been with me for the ride.


	32. Ceremony

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: A big thanks to Mellon for being such a wonderful beta, and thank you to Cee for helping me over some blocks. Check out their stories! They rock.

Chapter 32: Ceremony

Suvel smiled softly as she ran the brush through Zinnia's hair. It had been many years since she had helped the child she considered kin ready for anything. The last had been the solstice feast, and Zinnia was even more nervous now then she had been all those years ago. At least as far as Suvel could tell, judging from her shifting and fidgeting.

Relax Zia or I shall never have your hair finished. Suvel's smile grew as Zinnia stilled.

Sorry Suvel, I cannot help it. Zinnia straightened but Suvel put the brush down and walked in front of her young charge.

I know precious. Suvel reached up and put her hand on Zinnia's cheek. I remember the first time I saw you. You were so scared and small, so alone, it broke my heart. Though now, now I am amazed at the beautiful young woman who sits before me. So strong and brave.

Zinnia reached up and took her hand. Which is why I am so thankful the Valar led me here. She squeezed Suvel's hand slightly and grinned. Without you or ada, or everyone here, I would not be alive. Even if I had survived, I do not believe it would be a life I would want.

No such thoughts on a day as happy as this. Admonished Suvel lightly. We only have but a few more minutes before your father and uncles will come to collect you. She started arranging Zinnia's hair around the circlet. You look so radiant, I am glad that you found love.

Zinnia laughed softly. I found love the moment I found these woods Suvel. Now the love I hold takes me from them. She sighed and reached out touching Baru who was sitting on the vanity watching. I miss all of you terribly, but I love my life, I would not change it.

I am glad that you have finally found your path. Suvel finished with her hair and moved around Zinnia smiling. You are ready. Laughing slightly Suvel stopped Zinnia's hand from touching her hair. That is for your husband to mess, not you.

Suvel! Zinnia flushed a deep scarlet and Suvel only laughed.

My little student, no longer so little. Suvel smiled and put her hands on Zinnia's cheeks before leaning forward and kissing Zinnia's forehead. Time passes much too quickly. She pulled back a sad look in her eyes.

Zinnia reached up and took Suvel's hands in hers. No such thoughts on a day as happy as this. They both smiled then laughed. A knock on the door calmed them slightly.

Come, that will be your Ada and uncles. Suvel turned to go but Zinnia held her hands.

I do not know if I have ever told you this Suvel, but I love you.

I know you do little one. I love you as well. They smiled at each other as the knock was heard a second time. No we must go, you know how impatient they are. Suvel wiped the few tears off her face before turning to answer the door.

========

She will be late if she does not hurry. Orophin huffed slightly and pulled at his collar. Haldir rolled his eyes at his brother and looked to Rúmil who had the same reaction. They both knew Orophin was acting so impatient because of the formal robes he now wore.

She will not be late. Haldir looked back to the door and knocked once again.

Besides you remember how long it took for her to ready for the solstice feast. And that was only meeting Legolas. Rúmil laughed slightly. She must be much more nervous now.

Yes, I thought she would fret herself into sickness. Orophin joined his brothers laughter until Haldir's voice was heard.

You knew of her and Legolas? Haldir raised an eyebrow as both brothers looked to him with varying degrees of nervousness on their face.

Ah what does it matter now? It is in the past, and should be forgotten about. Rúmil gave a grin and shrugged slightly.

Any response was cut off as Suvel opened the bedroom door. She is ready, and will be out in one moment. I shall meet you all at the ceremony. Even before Suvel had shut the front door Zinnia stepped out. All of them stared at her surprised at the woman before them.

It looked better while the seamstress was making it. Zinnia shifted and smoothed the fabric down her stomach in a nervous gesture.

Nonsense my sweet. You look lovely. Haldir smiled at her embarrassed grin. We have something for you. She looked to him questioningly.

From all of us. Orophin grinned as Rúmil reached for the small wooden box.

It belonged to our mother and passed to us, to go to the first in the family to be bonded. And it seems that honor goes to you dear one. Rúmil opened the box and Zinnia gave a slight gasp.

It is beautiful. She reached out and ran her finger gently over the surface. Inside the tear shaped crystal was a delicate Mallorn tree crafted of gold and silver. I cannot take this, your mother wished it to go to one of you.

She would have wished it to be worn, not waste away in a box. Orophin smiled and took out the necklace handing it to Haldir.

And worn it shall be my sweet. He opened the clasp and put it around her neck, closing it when she lifted her hair to allow him to place the chain against her skin.

It looks so fragile and delicate. I have never seen it's equal. She lifted it from her chest and inspected it.

Our father made it for our mother long ago. It was his gift to her, on their bonding. Rúmil grinned and touched Zinnia's cheek.

Though she always said it was his bribe to get her to agree. Orophin laughed slightly as Zinnia smiled.

Ah now I see where the wit comes from. She laughed at Orophin's mock hurt expression.

Enough, we must go or we shall be late.

Yes, Orophin and I shall go retrieve your bondmate, and meet you there. Rúmil took her hand and kissed the back of it with a smile before moving back allowing Orophin to move forward.

It would not due for him to get lost on his way. Orophin took her hand but instead of kissing it used it to pull her to him in a tight hug. She laughed and hugged him back just as tight.

Go before he runs from what he has gotten himself into. She smiled as Orophin laughed.

If anything he is already there waiting for you. Orophin pulled back and kissed her hand before following Rúmil out the door.

For some reason I do not trust that they would take him to the proper place. She grinned and looked up to Haldir.

They would take him to the right glade. He smiled at her and she laughed slightly before shaking her head and taking his hand.

Then come, I will not be late to this. I wore a dress for Valar's sake!

=============

Even before one reached the glade, most of Lórien could be seen, all gathered to witness the marriage. Inside the circular glade garlands of flowers hung elegantly from the golden boughs of the Mellyrn. The petals drifted down in a rain of velvety colors. At the opposite side of the glade Celeborn waited under a canopy of red rose vines woven together in an intricate pattern. At his side was a small table. It was covered in a flowing blue satin and on top of it, perched on a velvet pillow was a long silver cord.

Megilindir waited at Celeborn's side in a tunic of deep blue velvet. The color and sleeves were trimmed with silver matching the leggings he wore. His stomach churned with an anxiety he had never felt before as he stood before this large gathering of fair folk. Was it his imagination or had time slowed painfully down. He glanced down at his black boots and nudged a stone at his feet. A hush fell over the crowd. Megilindir jerked his head up and his breath caught in his throat.

At the edge of the glade Zinnia stood next to her father in a long silver gown of silk. The neckline was low and embroidered along the edge in a blue to match his tunic were tiny flowers twisting and looping like vines. Atop her head was a small crown of silver, simple yet elegant in it's design, and throughout her hair there were woven tiny blue flowers.

'Beautiful.' was the only thought that went through Megilindir's mind as his future wife walked closer. Haldir was at his side and smiled at the open display of awe. He had no fears or doubts on this union.

I give you my daughter to love and protect Megilindir. Haldir smiled at Zinnia as he said the words and kissed her hand. Treasure this gift always.

Forever. Breathed out Megilindir as he took her hand from her father. Zinnia smiled almost shyly and took another step forward so she was directly in front of Megilindir. Once Haldir was at his place to back and side of Zinnia Celeborn stepped up to start the ceremony.

My duties as Lord of Lórien have bid me to do many things during my time here. Though I believe I can say in all honesty that none have brought me as much pleasure as the one I am charged with today. He smiled at Zinnia as she gave him a small grin. We have watched you grow over the years, from a small child to the woman that is before us. Though Haldir is your father there are few of us that do not feel we have had some part, though perhaps small, in your upbringing. Your trials have been our trials, and your triumphs ours as well. I find it most fitting that all should be here to witness your union. He smiled and nodded slightly at Zinnia before looking to Megilindir.

Though you have not dwelt among us, Megilindir of the Rangers, your bravery and strength of character is shown in all deeds large or small.

Not to mention the fact he asked Haldir for her hand. Many laughed at Rúmil's comment and Haldir sent him a small glare.

Yes, that was an act of bravery. Celeborn smiled. Your bravery holds no ability to be called into question. Once the snickers died down he continued. Your worthiness as well, for not only has Haldir allowed you his daughter, but Zinnia has allowed you her heart. So it is with confidence and no hesitation that I now hand you one of Lórien's most precious treasures. Guard her, support her, and above all else love her.

That will never be a problem. Megilindir smiled at Zinnia.

Celeborn smiled widely. Join hands. Megilindir and Zinnia smiled as they reached out and their hands found the others. Their fingers laced, intertwining with the one who held their heart. As they did that Celeborn reached over pulling the silver cord from the table next to him. He placed one end between their palms and started to slowly wrap it around their hand in an intricate design.

Let the binding of your hands signify the bonding of your souls. May you forever be joined, may you forever be one. He tied the end off and covered their hands with his. May the Valar always bless and protect the both of you. He took a step back and smiled. Congratulations on their union. Applause went around the glade, and Megilindir and Zinnia smiled at each other. In a quick movement Megilindir pulled Zinnia to him and kissed her deeply.

Well Haldir. Orophin grinned as Haldir looked to him. You have a son. I can not wait to tell mother that you had two children and you were never even bonded. Orophin dodged the good natured slap to the arm Haldir was going to give him.

=============

Zinnia sighed happily as she leaned back into Megilindir. The past month had been one of the happiest she could remember. She smiled as she thought over her time. It hadn't been a lie when she told Suvel she wouldn't change her life, but sometimes taking a break from the trail was more than welcome, it was necessary. Her hand trailed down the arm wrapped around her before taking his hand and entwining their fingers again. She smiled at the memory of their wedding and laughed suddenly.

And what amuses my love so? Megilindir kissed underneath her ear.

I never once thought I would get married. She tightened her hand on his.

Ah but now you are. Megilindir kissed her again and she smiled leaning into his touch. She sighed and relaxed as she looked up to the stars. Do you wish to stay longer? We have only been here two months. Our leaving can be postponed beyond tomorrow.

No, we must get back. She snuggled a little closer to him and he tightened his arms around her. Besides, if I stay longer, I may never wish to leave again. At least not until Orophin walks in on us. Than we'll never hear the end of it!

Megilindir laughed and gave her a quick hug. No, I am surprised your father was so…serene.

Zinnia laughed and looked up to him. I believe he was more shocked than anything. She moved back facing the stars. They are so beautiful, but something here…just makes them more.

Megilindir smiled and put his head on her shoulder. It is because they are seen through your heart here and not just your eyes. He moved his hand up and started to softly stroke her arm. This place is beautiful, you must have loved it as a child, for I know your love of the stars.

Yes, I loved it, you are only the second one I have…well the first one I have brought, but the second to see the stars with me here. You are lucky.

He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. I am beyond lucky meleth-nin. So very far beyond only lucky.

She turned her head towards him and smiled. Unable to stop himself he leaned down and kissed her gently. Slowly the kiss turned more sensual and deeper. They pulled back and grinned at each other.

We will fall and break our necks. Zinnia had a grin on her face though.

True. Perhaps we should retire to our telain. He helped her as she turned to face him.

Perhaps. She grinned at him. Race you there. Before he could even agree she was making her way down the tree with much more practiced movements than he could ever hope for. Chuckling he followed her.


	33. Unexpected Blessings

Chapter 33: Unexpected Blessings

A/N: did some reformating which in turn screwed up my formatting. Now elvish has to be in 'elvish' instead of in brackets. Sorry if there is any confusion but it is beyond my control.

Megilindir watched as Zinnia shifted in her saddle again and a small frown touched his lips. Ever since they had agreed to return to Lórien she had been pushing to return to her homeland as quickly as possible. The excitement in her eyes couldn't be hidden, and neither could the determination in her body language. Reaching down into his saddle bag, he pulled out some bread and took his horse into a trot to catch up with her.

"Zia."

"I do not need to rest."

He chuckled slightly as he shook his head. "I would not even ask this close to Lórien. No, you must eat." He handed her the bread and she took it with a grin.

"You know me too well." She took the offered food and immediately bit a large chunk off. Looking over to him she asked something but couldn't be understood through what was in her mouth. Wordlessly he took out his water flask and handed it to her. She smiled at him before grabbing it and taking a large swig.

'Riders.' Endil moved forward more to get a better look. Both of them had hoods covering their faces and neither showed signs of slowing upon reaching the woods. That was highly unusual as most everyone in the surrounding areas knew to stay out.

'Should we call the others.' Endil nodded and his second went to gather the other guards to stop the riders. Half an hour later they dropped from the trees and the two stopped, both slowly raising their hands.

'Would you shoot me Endil?' Endil paused at the voice and relaxed the bow. The figure pulled its hood off and he laughed.

'Zinnia!' the other guards lowered their weapons knowing the March warden's daughter, many of them having spared against her once or twice. 'Arador, welcome it has been a long time.'

'We seek passage to the city.' Arador smiled as well and pulled off his hood.

'Yes, Of course.' Endil looked back to Zinnia. 'Your father will be happy to see you.'

'I should hope so. I have not seen him in almost a year.'

'Come, we shall make camp further in the woods.' Zinnia stayed on her horse though Arador jumped off his and led both of theirs as they followed the guards. A few more hours walk led them to their camp.

'Have you quit training mellon?' Asked Endil as he helped Zinnia off her horse.

'Why?'

'It is just that. . Well. . You seem.' her eyebrow raised higher.

'Yes Endil.' the others in the group laughed and she smiled. 'Is it that I am heavier than I used to be?'

'Well.' she grinned at his embarrassment and took off her cloak.

'I have quit training.' She turned back to them and all fell silent at the sight of her extended belly easily seen through her tunic. 'I am with child.' She put her hand on the small bulge and smiled at the others expressions. 'I had hoped to get safe passage and stay for a while.'

'With child?' the wonder was clearly heard in Endil's voice, just as it was clearly read in all of the other's eyes. There had not been an elf child born in almost two thousand years, none in the city of Lórien for over four.

'Almost three months.' she smiled at Endil and took his hand. 'You can feel, I will not break.' Endil's eyes grew even larger as his hand rested over her stomach.

'I. . I have never seen a pregnant female.'

'You will not live to see another if you do not take your hands off her.' the smile on his face and in his tone softened the words from Arador. He came over and kissed her cheek as she rolled her eyes. Endil chuckled but moved his hand.

'I have been craving some lembas for months. Would you have any to share?' A few minutes later found her sitting by the fire with at least five lembas wafers from five different guards. All of them had wanted to touch her stomach.

Two days later she rolled her eyes yet again at how Arador and the others were treating her. She had thought that Arador had accepted that she wasn't going to break because she was pregnant, but he had reverted back to fawning over her as the others did. Not that she minded a certain amount of thoughtfulness, truth was her back was slightly sore, but they were taking it to extremes.

'Valar ada is going to make me stay in bed until this kid comes out.' She grimaced at the thought and looked down to Arador who was leading the horse. Soon they were going to hit the river and then she would have to walk. That was not something she was looking forward to.

"Love." She blinked pulling herself from her thoughts and focused on her husband. "Do you need to rest?"

"I am not even exerting energy melamin, please do not make me get off this horse and hurt you." He put his hand on her thigh and smiled up at her.

"I would not think of it." She put her hand on his head.

"Thanks." She ruffled his hair and he only laughed grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it.

"How is my child then?" His attention went to her stomach and she smiled.

"He is resting comfortably." Arador smiled and put his hand on her stomach.

"He? Perhaps my daughter takes offence at that."

"Perhaps." Her hand covered his and they grinned at each other again.

"Daro!" The only ones that were startled were Arador and Zinnia.

'Uncle Orophin.' She grinned and moved to get off the horse. Arador helped her down and she stepped into Orophin's open arms.

'My little. . Not so little niece returns.' He pulled back and raised an eyebrow. She smiled.

'Are Ada and Rúmil with you?'

'Nay they are in the city. We were not expecting you.'

'Yes well, I was not expecting to be expecting. I wished to return.'

'And what are you expecting?' She laughed and took a step back standing next to Arador.

'We are expecting our first child.' Arador accompanied his words by putting his hand on Zinnia's stomach causing the cloak to fall open.

'A child.' Orophin's tone was just as amazed as Endil's had been. He stepped forward to put his hands on her stomach then stopped. 'May I' Zinnia only laughed and grabbed his hands putting them over the child in her stomach.

'I will have to get used to everyone wishing to touch besides.' Orophin smiled his eyes filled with wonder.

'You will.' He looked back up to her. 'How long?'

'Almost five months..'

'You did not tell us.'

'I did not know but two months ago. We were in the wilderness. After stopping by Rivendell we traveled here. I figured it would be better to tell Ada in person. Elrond was the one who told me, he recommended no more traveling after the sixth month. It took us a little longer because we set a slow pace and took the safest route.'

'You have come to stay then.' She grinned and kissed his cheek.

'For a while.' Orophin laughed then and hugged both of them.

'Haldir is going to be rendered speechless. This. . I can not wait to see.'

'Haldir.' Haldir looked over from the guards doing their routines to one of Galadriel and Celeborn's Sentinels.

'Yes?'

'Galadriel wishes for you to meet her as soon as you can.' Haldir nodded at the messenger and watched the other elf leave. After giving orders to his second he left to go to the royal telain.

'Ah Haldir.'

'Lord Celeborn.' he bowed slightly. 'I was called here by lady Galadriel.' Celeborn smiled and Haldir tilted his head slightly trying to decipher it.

'Word has come; your daughter is only a few hours away.'

'Zinnia is returning. That is most happy news.'

'Indeed Haldir.' Both Celeborn and Haldir turned to Galadriel. 'I can only think of a few things that would bring more joy.' she smiled just as enigmatically as Celeborn had a few moments before.

'We wished to invite you and your family to dinner with us tonight. We have already prepared a guest telain for her and her husband.' Haldir smiled.

'Thank you my lord.'

Zinnia sighed as they took another rest. It was for her benefit she knew, she also knew they were most likely only a half hour away from the gates of the city. They had already added an extra day onto their journey because she needed to stop so many times. It embarrassed her that she was slowing them down so much. She shifted leaning against the tree and grimaced slightly. The ground was doing nothing for her back.

"Zia." She looked up and smiled slightly at Arador. "Are you in pain?"

"My back is a little sore but mostly I am just tired."

He brushed his knuckles across her cheek before leaning down and kissing her softly. "Then when we get to the city I will have to give you a warm bath and make your aches disappear before tucking you into a nice soft bed."

She grinned and he leaned forward his lips moving across her cheek. The sensation ticked and she laughed. "And a shave for you perhaps?" She smiled and put her hands against his cheeks.

"You do not like it?" He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled.

"I could get used to it." They were both oblivious to the others around them.

'Do you remember when she was just a child?' Orophin looked over to Endil who had chuckled at his wistful tone...

'Yes, it is hard to forget.'

Both elves looked over in time to see Arador sit and move zinnia so she was sitting in his lap, cushioning her from the hard ground. She put her head against his shoulder as he started to massage her lower back with one of his hands.

'I am happy for her. Not even with Legolas did she smile like that.' Endil grinned watching the scene.

'Ah, Legolas has her trust not her heart.' Orophin sighed and shook his head. 'I still have her drawings.'

'And her arrows.' prodded Endil

'And her arrows.' Orophin laughed. 'I made her a promise, one I will hold to for as long as I patrol with my bow and as long as arrows are needed to fill my quiver.' Orophin smiled and looked back to Zinnia. 'Another child.' His smile grew as Arador's free hand made circles on zinnia's belly even as he whispered and kissed her ear. 'What a frightening thought.' He chuckled and shook his head.

Haldir almost started pacing in his restlessness. According to the messenger that Orophin had sent they should have been to the city almost two hours ago. After his meeting with the lord and lady he had cleaned up and dressed in something other than his guard wear. It had been too long since he had seen or heard from Zinnia last. He smiled at the thought of getting to spend some time with her. He looked up from his thoughts when the gates started to open.

The first ones through were the guards that had escorted them back. He saw zinnia and grinned walking over to her. She had a large cloak draped over her and his smile slipped slightly as he tried to think of why. It wasn't cold enough to necessitate a cloak and he immediately thought she was getting sick.

'Ada, I have missed you so.' She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same to her. He pulled her closer and his eyes closed a smile on his face.

'As I you my sweet. It has been a while since your last letter.'

'Yes well.' She pulled back. 'I wished to see you in person.'

'Arador.' Haldir moved forward and took his arm in a warriors embrace.

'Haldir.' He grinned and nodded at the elf before Haldir pulled back.

'What is this news that you could not write your father a letter?'

'My Dear one! It has been a while.' She looked over and smiled at Rúmil who entered the clearing.

'She has news.' Orophin grinned and moved next to her putting his arm around her shoulders. She elbowed him slightly and his smile grew.

'It can wait until she greets her uncle properly.' Zinnia laughed and moved forward embracing Rúmil. 'So what is this news?' He pulled back and she smiled at him.

'Well I had simply planned on calling ada at'ada but I do not know what to call you.'

'We are grand-uncles of course!.' Orophin smiled then laughed at the look on both Haldir's and Rúmil's face. 'I do not think they comprehend still.' She laughed and pulled the cloak back.

'Perhaps this will convince them.' she sighed and put her hands on her stomach. 'It sure convinced me those last few miles.'

'You are…' She laughed at Haldir as he trailed off. Taking his hand she put it on her stomach his eyes never leaving the bulge.

'Pregnant.' He looked up to her still trying to understand. 'I wanted to tell you in person.'

'A child? I thought. . Elrond.' His other hand joined his first and he looked back down to her stomach.

'A small chance has become my child Ada.' He looked up to her and saw the joy in her face.

'A gift from the Valar then.' She grinned at him.

'I wish to see.' Rúmil sounded like an eager child himself as he stepped up and added his hands to her stomach. She laughed as they tickled her and both pulled their hands back as if burned causing her to laugh more.

'It is a good thing that I will get bigger. More room for everyone's hands.' Arador chuckled and moved up putting his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

'I do not mean to come between you, but I have promised my wife a warm bath and a soft bed. The trail has been long and hard.'

'Of course, do you need anything else? Perhaps go to the healers.' She heard the concern in Haldir's voice and sighed.

'Ada I am not sick, simply pregnant. Though I could use a nap.' Haldir smiled at her and couldn't resist touching her stomach again.

'I am going to be a grandfather.' She laughed again and put her hand over his.

'In a little more than 4 months.'

'4 months.' He shook his head and looked back up to her. 'Galadriel has invited us all for dinner tonight. I accepted thought I did not know. Do you wish me to inform her that you must decline? I'm sure she would not mind if you wished to rest.'

'From dinner? I'll be there, trust me ada.' Arador chuckled at Zinnia's statement.

'She is eating for two now, she never misses a meal.'

'Yes well I would not miss this one besides. Real food instead of game. Perhaps a nice large cake for desert, and some cookies.' She blushed slightly when they started laughing. 'What? I have not had a decent piece of cake since Bree. And even that was mediocre.'

Melamin = my love

Ada = father

At'ada = grandfather


	34. New Life

Chapter 34: New Life

Another scream ripped through the air setting all in the room on edge. Haldir's fists clenched as he held himself back from standing and going through the doors that separated him from his daughter. Gebrir wouldn't allow any in the room save the healers and Arador. That left Haldir and his brothers to sit in the room outside while Zinnia was currently in labor.

They had been there for almost five hours now. Ever since one of the younger wardens had run to find them on the practice field telling them that Zinnia had been brought to the healers. By the time they had gotten there the doors were closed and no one was allowed in. The only news they had received was from the healer's assistants telling them all was progressing as it should. Though that hadn't comforted any of them when the screaming started.

It was almost another four hours before the screaming stopped and the loud cries of a child filled the air. They all stood, waiting for news of the mother and the child. They did not have to wait long. A moment later Gebrir opened the door and walked outside with a grin on his face.

"Mother and child are doing well, though they are tired."

"May we see?" Orophin was practically bouncing with excitement, causing the others to chuckle slightly.

"Perhaps just one now. She is tired, birthing is harder than anything we as males will ever endure. She has earned her rest."

"You go Haldir." Rúmil smiled and put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Yes go, and try not to scare our little grandnephew with your features." Orophin chuckled at Haldir, who was far to occupied by thoughts of what awaited him to even notice his taunt.

Haldir walked to the door and hesitated, not sure if he was ready to see what was inside. This would be the final act that would show him that his daughter had become an adult. That his daughter was now a mother of her own child. He looked to Gebrir feeling the healer's hand on his shoulder.

"Go Haldir." He smiled. "Go see the one who will be tormenting you just as much as your daughter in but a few years."

"I do not think any other could reach that level." Haldir grinned before opening the door and stepping into the room. Quietly, he shut the door behind him not wanting to disturb anyone in the room.

"Ada, meet your grand son." Zinnia smiled even through her exhaustion.

Haldir returned her smile as he approached the bed. The child was cradled in her arms, eyes closed in slumber. Arador was sitting on the side next to them one hand going through Zinnia's hair, the other stroking one of the baby's small hands. "He is beautiful." He leaned over and stroked a small pudgy cheek. The baby shifted slightly before settling again.

"His name is Arathorn Halar." Arador smiled at Haldir's surprised but pleased expression.

"We hope you approve." Zinnia grinned sleepily as Haldir took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Of course tinu." Haldir frowned slightly as Zinnia started to drift into slumber.

"Gebrir informs me it is only exhaustion. She is fine." Arador nodded towards the baby on the bed. "He is so tiny." A grin formed on the rangers face. "Though Zinnia informed me that he is quite big enough." There was a moment's pause as both watched the two on the bed. "He looks so fragile."

"Children are more resilient than most give them credit for."

A nod was Arador's only reaction. "Would you like to hold him?" He laughed at Haldir's expression. "Now I know what Gebrir found so funny." Without waiting for a response he gathered up the baby and walked over before putting the blanket covered mass in Haldir's arms.

"He is beautiful." Haldir shifted the baby so he had a free hand and moved the blanket from the baby's face to view him better. The baby squirmed slightly, protesting at the movement before stilling again. A few more moments passed before the door opened and Orophin and Rúmil looked into the room.

"Good! Gebrir is gone." Orophin smiled and walked in. "Now let us see our nephew."

Too distracted by the weight in his arms, Haldir didn't even bother to reiterate Gebrir's previous command. His brothers stood behind him and cooed over the baby even as Zinnia slept peacefully in her bed, Arador at her side.

"Thank the Valar he looks nothing like you, Haldir!" Orophin smiled widely as Haldir shifted the child causing the small being to open his eyes.

"Aye, they were thinking of the future when they made sure he looked like neither of you." Rúmil leaned forward and ran a finger along the child's smooth cheek. Orophin and Haldir looked to each other before smiling, their attention quickly going to back to the child.

"Orophin and Rúmil!"

They were all surprised at how closely a soft whisper could sound like a thunderous roar when coming from Gebrir. "I said no visitors but one." He sighed and went over to them smiling softly at the baby. "No off with all of you. They need rest, all three of them."

"Yes, master healer." Rúmil cheekily gave a small bow, missing Gebrir's eye roll. "Come Orophin, we will prepare their rooms for when they are cleared from here." Orophin grinned at his brother's words before following him out of the room.

Haldir simply stood and placed a soft kiss on the baby's head before putting him in a small crib next to the bed. After the baby was settled he moved to Zinnia and kissed her forehead as well. Standing straight he put a hand on Arador's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Do you require anything Arador?"

The young ranger looked to him and smiled. "No Haldir, I have all I want here." They smiled at each other and Haldir nodded.

When he reached the door he turned back and looked at his family. Never before had he ever imagined he would be seeing the sight before him. Never wanted to imagine that his little girl would ever stop being his. At this moment though he realized that she had. She was no longer his, she was theirs. And though he was saddened at having to share his daughter he wouldn't wish it any other way. He quietly shut the door and went to prepare for this new path he had been put on.

"Such a strong grip for one so young." Arador smiled widely as he moved his nose out of Arathorn's small fist. "A warrior the likes none have seen is in my lap at this very moment." The baby giggled and then grunted. Moments later Arador sat up straight a look of disgust on his face. "How can one so young make such odors?"

Zinnia laughed and looked up from her book. "He's your son." She raised her eyebrow at his expression.

"You are much to similar to your father." Arador grinned as there was a knock on the door stopping her answer.

"No worries I shall get the door while you rid your son of the fragrance he so loves." Zinnia stood and laughed seeing the expression on her husbands face.

"Come Arathorn, let us make you presentable." He sighed and stood, taking the baby over to the small changing table they had set up in the child's bedroom.

"Hello." Zinnia smiled at the young Gala rim on her doorstep.

"Zinnia." He nodded slightly. "I have a message for your ranger."

She chuckled hearing the nickname that had been given Arador since their wedding. "Thank you." She took the parchment and hesitated slightly seeing the rangers seal on it. The guard simply nodded again before leaving to return to his duty. She turned the letter over in her hands slowly, knowing that it meant something she wouldn't want to face but would have to.

"I think he needs a nap." Arador returned to the main room and hesitated seeing her expression. "Zinnia?"

"A message for you." She held it up and could see that he now understood her expression. They had both grown used to the life they had in the elven woods. "I shall put him down." Gently taking the baby from him she smiled as he took the envelope from her. Pausing a moment she leaned up and kissed him gently. "I will return in a moment."

When she returned she saw him sitting on the chair still looking at the envelope. "What does the message say?"

"That I need to return, that. . that I am needed for a matter that can not be handled by any other."

She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over kissing his cheek. "Then I shall make you a travel bag with some food."

"I. . I will send a negative reply back. Our son."

"Is perfectly protected here. He is safer here than on the trail. I am in no condition to go back on the road. We will be safe here melamin."

"I know." He took her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist moving her so she was sitting on his lap. She smiled and kissed him sweetly. "I do not wish to leave either of you. I want him to know his father, I have a responsibility to him."

"You also have a responsibility to your people." She caressed his cheek and looked into his eyes. "He will know you. The sooner you leave the sooner you can return. Just do not be gone for long."

"I still do not wish to go."

"Arador, they would not have called you back if it was not dire. Go, but promise me you will return to me."

"I will always return to you." He put his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her. "I do not wish to leave you alone."

She laughed then. "Alone? Between my ada and uncles I will never be alone. All in this city would be here for me or you." She put her head down on his and sighed. "Though I will miss you desperately, I will not be alone. I believe our son will do his best to keep me occupied as well." Arador looked up and kissed her.

"I love you my beautiful wife." He smiled and kissed her.

"I shall never tire of hearing that." She grinned happily and put her forehead against his.

"I shall never tire of saying it." He moved his hand up and put it against her cheek. She grinned happily and put her forehead against his.

"I love you as well my rugged ranger." She giggled as her husband swept her into his arms. "Who behaves as an orc." She added with a light kiss.

"If I am an orc then what are you?" He walked back to the bedroom, holding her close to his body. "My little troll?"

"Troll! I would at least rate a goblin." She laughed again as he tossed her back on the bed and she bounced slightly.

"Goblin then." He affirmed as he climbed over her.

"So you think I'm a goblin." She smiled as he chuckled at her remark and began kissing her neck.

"If I remember correctly you called me an orc first." He kissed her again sliding his hands down to her hips and lying next to her.

"That does not count." Her tone was slightly breathless and she moved to kiss him again.

"No?" He looked to her and raised an eyebrow, as they pulled apart.

"Not at all."

They kissed again each pulling the other closer. Zinnia slid her hands under his tunic and they broke apart long enough for him to help her take it off. Before it even hit the floor their lips met again hands wondering the other's body. Arador rolled them so she was lying on top of him to allow him better access to the ties at the back of her dress. She kissed down his neck and he moaned when she nipped at a sensitive spot under his ear. He rolled them back over with a small growl.

"Zinnia." His tone was unsure and she sighed.

"It has been three months. I am fully recovered and you will not hurt me." Her hands moved down to the ties of his pants. "I asked Gebrir, he assured me." She smiled slowly at him as her hands went further down. "I am ready, you are ready; we are ready." Arador kissed her again, but before they could get much further the baby in the next room let out an angry wail. "Arathorn is not so ready."

Arador groaned and put his head on her shoulder then joined in her laughter. "Perhaps your ada or uncles would be willing to watch him for my last week."

"Ada will take him for a few nights. I swear to the Valar we will have a night to ourselves before you leave."

"Remember your promise." She squeezed her hands in his and he smiled.

"I shall return to you my love, my wife, my very heart." She grinned and leaned up, kissing him then wrapped her arms around him. "I promise, and shall think of you at least once an hour."

As her husband wrapped his arms around tighter, she leaned in and whispered. "I love you more than any words I have can profess."

"Then next solstice I shall find you a dictionary." He chuckled and titled her head up.

"Don't cry." He put his hands on her cheeks and wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I can't help it. I love you Arador. You better return to me and no news better be given to me of an injury. Otherwise orcs will be the least of your concerns." They embraced again neither really wanting to pull apart.

"Perhaps when I return we shall work hard to give Arathorn a sister." He smiled wickedly, even as Zinnia laughed through her tears. "I love you Zinnia." He kissed her before pressing his forehead to hers. "I shall write as often as I can."

"Return before our son grows too much."

"I will return in but a few months." He kissed her again, embracing her tightly.

'I am sorry, it is almost time to go.' They looked over and saw Endil with an apologetic smile on his face.

'Thank you, Endil.' He nodded then turned back to the gates. They walked over to the bench Haldir was sitting on holding Arathorn. When he saw their approach he stood and handed the child over to Arador.

'And you my little child, I shall see you again before you even realize that I am gone.' The baby's only reaction was to splutter and wave his arms around. Arador smiled and kissed the baby's forehead.

'I will make sure all are ready.' Haldir left the three alone to say their last goodbyes.

"I thought leaving home would be the hardest thing I have ever done." Zinnia whispered softly as she looked at her husband and son "It was not, this is. Do not be gone long Melinda."

Arador smiled and hugged Zinnia careful not to discomfort the child. "I promise you to return as quickly as is in my power."

A voice cleared and they looked over to see Orophin. 'I will take the little one and you can escort him out of the city blossom.'

'Thank you, Orophin.' Arador smiled and placed Arathorn in his granduncle's hands. As soon as he was settled a large handful of silver-blonde hair was being tugged and Orophin winced.

'I will return in a moment.' Zinnia smiled and walked with Arador as they headed toward the gates.

'Enough of that.' Orophin took his hair away from the child after a particularly vicious tug. Dark blue eyes locked on to his before a wail that caused all in the vicinity to cringe left the baby's throat.

'Shhh, little one do not cry. All is well, your parents are just saying good-bye to each other at the moment.' Orophin sighed and tried to shush the screaming child. 'Your ada will return. He is a very skilled warrior do not worry.' The baby still shrieked and he frowned.

'Fine, but when you have sufficient amounts hair I shall pull it.' He moved his hair back over his shoulder waving it in front of the child who immediately grabbed a handful and shoved it in his mouth. 'If we were not related that would be thoroughly disgusting.' Despite his words he smiled and tickled the baby's chin.

Haldir watched his opponent carefully, waiting for the weakness, the break that he needed to best him. Ignoring the sounds that his adversary made Haldir simply waited, preparing. He had been in tougher battles and emerged victorious. It was not his intention to loose this one.

'Try as you wish, I will win.' The only answer was the almost defiant glint of his opponents eyes. Then suddenly the break came and Haldir was able to get the spoon into Arathorn's mouth. 'There, it is very good yes?'

Arathorn only wrinkled his nose and spit the food back out. Haldir swore that twice what he had just put into the baby's mouth was now running down the child's small face and neck. He sighed and wiped off Arathorn's face before putting more of the food on the spoon.

'Eat all of it and I will let you have some sweets.' He put the spoon to Arathorn's mouth again but the baby wouldn't open for him. 'It always worked with your mother.' Haldir sat back and watched the child even as the child watched the elf. Then suddenly Arathorn let out a burp and laughed. Haldir smiled and chuckled as well.

'Well ai'ona, it seems you have inherited her stubbornness; perhaps also some from your father?'

The baby laughed again and clapped his hands. Haldir sighed but smiled. 'It makes things more interesting besides.' The spoon was refuted again. 'Also more difficult.' Haldir thought another moment and put the bowl down in front of the child. 'Perhaps if you feed yourself.' He frowned when a large gob of the food flew by his face, some landing in his hair. 'Perhaps not.'

Zinnia entered the telain quietly not knowing if Arathorn was asleep or not, but knowing that if he was she wanted him to stay that way. It had been a long day. She was trying to get back into the routine of training but might have to agree with Arador in that her active days as a ranger were over. The wilds was no place for a baby. Nonetheless, her independence wouldn't allow her to idly fall out of shape.

A smile lit her face when she saw the two figures on the couch. Haldir was deep in reverie settled peacefully on the couch. Arathorn was snuggled into his chest, his ear pressed against the area over Haldir's heart. Haldir had a hand spread out over the sleeping child's back holding him in place. She laughed softly when she saw the stains of food covering her father's tunic and the chunks of it in his hair.

'Ada.' she touched his hand lightly and his eyes blinked as they cleared.

'You are back already.'

'I do not have the endurance I once had. I see you have discovered that he has good aim.'

Haldir smiled and laughed slightly. 'Yes, I made the mistake of letting the bowl in his reach.'

'Ah.' she paused a moment and smiled. 'Then save the mistake of letting him not wear a diaper for my uncles.' He looked at her confused for a moment then chuckled again. Arathorn shifted and both of them froze not wanting him to wake. After he settled they both let out a breath then smiled at each other. 'Do you wish for me to take him now?'

'Nay, he is fine. Leave him to his rest.'

'Then I am going to find my rest as well. I can make dinner tonight if you wish.'

'I will do it. Go rest, I will wake you when it is ready, if you still sleep.'

'Thank you ada.'

Ai'ona Little gift

A/N: I can't express how sorry I am in my neglect of updating this story. The only thing I can offer is real life has been a big hairy turd lately. This story is actually pretty close to being done. I say that and probably mean there are at least 8 more chapters left. This one is done and the next is being started right after I'm done typing this. It is my goal to have this story done within the next month at the most. I'm on vacation. Woohoo, until Monday so I have four glorious days to write. And that is what I plan on doing.

So I hope you guys like this chapter as much as the others. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far and hope you can stick with me through the rest. After this story I plan on focusing on the story I am co-authoring with Cee called 'Lost Ones'. It is a Haldir/ofc fic that I am actually really proud of. A LOTR/Dune type of crossover. You can find it at the following address: http/ also want to thank Cee for beta reading this chapter. I wanted to get it out right away and didn't have time to go through my normal beta for this story. Again I hope everyone enjoys this and looks forward to the rest of the story. Thanks for sticking with me.

Maeluiril


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